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Boring Ahh Staples
Swiftfoot Boots
Equipped creature has hexproof and haste. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control. It can attack and no matter when it came under your control.)
Equip (: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)
Equip (: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)
Artifact - Equipment

Boring Ahh Staples
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Don't run out of life duh
Basilisk Collar
Equipped creature has deathtouch and lifelink. (Any amount of damage it deals to a creature is enough to destroy it. Damage dealt by this creature also causes you to gain that much life.)
Equip (: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)
Equip (: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)
Artifact - Equipment

Don't run out of life duh
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Land
Land
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Masochistic Tendencies
Bolas's Citadel
You may look at the top card of your library any time.
You may play lands and cast spells from the top of your library. If you cast a spell this way, pay life equal to its mana value rather than pay its mana cost.
, Sacrifice ten nonland permanents: Each opponent loses 10 life.
You may play lands and cast spells from the top of your library. If you cast a spell this way, pay life equal to its mana value rather than pay its mana cost.
, Sacrifice ten nonland permanents: Each opponent loses 10 life.
Legendary Artifact

Gwenom, Remorseless
Deathtouch, lifelink
Whenever Gwenom attacks, until end of turn, you may look at the top card of your library any time and you may play cards from the top of your library. If you cast a spell this way, pay life equal to its mana value rather than pay its mana cost.
Whenever Gwenom attacks, until end of turn, you may look at the top card of your library any time and you may play cards from the top of your library. If you cast a spell this way, pay life equal to its mana value rather than pay its mana cost.
Legendary Creature - Spider Hero Symbiote

Masochistic Tendencies
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Ramp
Ramp
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Timmy Bullshit
Hideous Taskmaster
Devoid (This card has no color.)
When you cast this spell, for each opponent, gain control of up to one target creature that player controls until end of turn. Untap those creatures. They gain trample, haste, and annihilator 1 until end of turn.
Trample, haste, annihilator 1 (Whenever this creature attacks, defending player sacrifices a permanent of their choice.)
When you cast this spell, for each opponent, gain control of up to one target creature that player controls until end of turn. Untap those creatures. They gain trample, haste, and annihilator 1 until end of turn.
Trample, haste, annihilator 1 (Whenever this creature attacks, defending player sacrifices a permanent of their choice.)
Creature - Eldrazi

Kefka, Dancing Mad
During your turn, Kefka has indestructible.
At the beginning of your end step, exile a card at random from each opponent's graveyard. You may cast any number of spells from among cards exiled this way without paying their mana costs. Then each player who owns a spell you cast this way loses life equal to its mana value.
At the beginning of your end step, exile a card at random from each opponent's graveyard. You may cast any number of spells from among cards exiled this way without paying their mana costs. Then each player who owns a spell you cast this way loses life equal to its mana value.
Legendary Creature - Human Wizard

Myojin of Night's Reach
Myojin of Night's Reach enters with a divinity counter on it if you cast it from your hand.
Myojin of Night's Reach has indestructible as long as it has a divinity counter on it.
Remove a divinity counter from Myojin of Night's Reach: Each opponent discards their hand.
Myojin of Night's Reach has indestructible as long as it has a divinity counter on it.
Remove a divinity counter from Myojin of Night's Reach: Each opponent discards their hand.
Legendary Creature - Spirit

Shadowgrange Archfiend
When this creature enters, each opponent sacrifices a creature with the greatest power among creatures they control. You gain life equal to the greatest power among creatures sacrificed this way.
Madness—, Pay 8 life. (If you discard this card, discard it into exile. When you do, cast it for its madness cost or put it into your graveyard.)
Madness—, Pay 8 life. (If you discard this card, discard it into exile. When you do, cast it for its madness cost or put it into your graveyard.)
Creature - Demon

Timmy Bullshit
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