Knight of the Kitchen Sink

First strike, protection from watermarks (Nothing with a watermark can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Intangible Vibes

All creatures are tokens. (They're considered tokens for spells and abilities. After a creature leaves the battlefield, it ceases to exist.)

Bar Entry

Choose one —
• Destroy target creature with power 4 or greater.
• Destroy target creature with any part of its head higher than the bar. (Align the tops of both cards to check.)

Hammer Jammer

As this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
Whenever you roll a die, remove all +1/+1 counters from this creature, then put a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.

City of Ass

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

Johnny, Combo Player

{4}: Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

Katerina of Myra's Marvels

As Katerina of Myra's Marvels enters, choose a letter.
Whenever you cast a spell whose name begins with the chosen letter, create a white 2/2 Cat creature token with flying.
Partner (You can have two commanders if they both have partner.)

Ambiguity

Whenever a player plays a spell that counters a spell that has been played or a player plays a spell that comes into play with counters, that player may counter the next spell played or put an additional counter on a permanent that has already been played, but not countered.

Druid of the Sacred Beaker

{T}: Add {G} for each Crossbreed Labs watermark among permanents you control.

B.F.M. (Big Furry Monster)

B.F.M. onto the battlefield. If one B.F.M. card
more creatures.

Garbage Elemental

Frenzy 2 (Whenever this creature attacks and isn't blocked, it gets +2/+0 until end of turn.)
This creature can't be blocked by wordy creatures. (A creature is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)

Hoisted Hireling

This creature has flying as long as it's being held above the battlefield.

Gleemax

You choose all targets for all spells and abilities.

Decisions, Decisions

Reveal the top three cards of your library, then choose a consonant. (Y counts.) Put each card that has the chosen letter in the first word of its name from among them into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in any order.

Discord, Lord of Disharmony

Flying
At the beginning of your end step, choose a random nonland Magic card name. Until your next end step, you may cast a copy of a spell with that name, and mana of any type can be spent to cast it. If you cast a spell this way, copy this ability if Discord is on the battlefield.

Booster Tutor

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of them into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Double Cross

Choose another player. Look at that player's hand and choose a card other than a basic land card from it. They discard that card. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, look at that player's hand and choose a card other than a basic land card from it. They discard that card.

Everythingamajig

{1}, {T}: Scry 2.
{1}, {T}, Pay 1 life: Create a 0/1 white Goat creature token.
{7}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Choose target player. At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with that player, exchange control of all permanents you and that player control, and exchange cards in your hands, cards in your libraries, and cards in your graveyards.

Dirty Rat

When this creature enters, target opponent discards a card.

Atinlay Igpay

Oubleday ikestray
Enwhay ouyay eakspay ay onnay-igpay-atinlay ordway, acrificesay isthay eaturecray.

Big Boa Constrictor

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. Target opponent loses life equal to the result.

{2}, {T}: Move a counter from one permanent onto another. If the second permanent refers to any kind of counter, the moved counter becomes one of those counters. Otherwise, it becomes a +1/+1 counter.
{3}, {T}: Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.
{4}, {T}: Proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)

Ass Whuppin'

Destroy target silver-bordered or acorn permanent in any game you can see from your seat.

Double Header

Flying
When this creature enters, you may return target permanent with a two-word name to its owner's hand.

Double Deal

Choose another player. Double Deal deals 3 damage to that player. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, Double Deal deals 3 damage to the player.

First Come, First Served

Each attacking or blocking creature with the lowest collector number among attacking or blocking creatures has first strike.

Emcee

Whenever another creature enters, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.

Disemvowel

Destroy target creature. That creature's controller loses 1 life for each unique vowel in the creature's name. (The vowels are A, E, I, O, U, and Y.)

Bosom Buddy

Whenever you cast a spell, you may gain ½ life for each word in that spell's name.

Hurloon Wrangler

Denimwalk (This creature can't be blocked as long as defending player is wearing denim.)

Bog Humbugs

Flying
Whenever Bog Humbugs deals combat damage, hum that many notes of a festive song. If you can, put a +1/+1 counter on Bog Humbugs.

Deadhead

{0}: Return this card from your graveyard to the battlefield. Activate only if an opponent isn't touching their hand (of cards).

Half-Kitten, Half-

Whenever you're dealt damage,
Augment {2}{W} ({2}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

A Good Thing

Spells and abilities you control can't destroy, exile, target, or cause you to sacrifice A Good Thing.
At the beginning of your upkeep, double your life total. Then, if you have 1,000 or more life, you lose the game.

Clever Combo

Search your library for a host card or a card with augment, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Box of Free-Range Goblins

Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the result.

Farewell to Arms

As this enchantment enters, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm.
When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice this enchantment. If you do, that player discards their hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.)

Gerrymandering

Exile all lands. Give each player a number of those cards chosen at random equal to the number of those cards the player controlled. Each player returns those cards to the battlefield under their control.

Earl of Squirrel

Squirrellink (Damage dealt by this creature also causes you to create that many 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens.)
Creature tokens you control are Squirrels in addition to their other creature types.
Other Squirrels you control get +1/+1.

Free-for-All

When this enchantment enters, exile all creatures face down.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player chooses a card exiled with this enchantment at random and puts it onto the battlefield.
When this enchantment leaves the battlefield, put all cards exiled with it into their owners' graveyards.

Bumbling Pangolin

When this creature enters, you may destroy target artifact.

Bloodletter

When the names of three or more nonland permanents begin with the same letter, sacrifice this creature. If you do, it deals 2 damage to each creature and each player.

This creature enters with a +1/+1 counter on it for each Magic game you have lost to one of your opponents since you last won a game against them.

Goblin Girder Gang

Reach
Whenever you roll a die, if the result isn't stored on this creature, you may store that result on it. When you do, this creature deals 1 damage to any target without a hat.
This creature gets +1/+0 for each result stored on it.

Kill! Destroy!

Destroy target nonblack creature.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand.

Hardy of Myra's Marvels

As Hardy of Myra's Marvels enters, choose a number.
Whenever you cast a spell with the chosen number of lines of flavor text, put that many +1/+1 counters on target creature.
Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Clambassadors

Whenever this creature deals damage to a player, choose an artifact, creature, or land you control. That player gains control of that permanent.

Extremely Slow Zombie

Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)

Present Arms

Exchange your library with another deck you own from outside the game. Shuffle your library.

Decorated Knight

Whenever Decorated Knight attacks, draw a card from your original deck if it's outside the game.

Decorated Knight // Present Arms

Chaos Wrap

The owner of target permanent shuffles it into their library. Then they may look at the top card of their library and may wrap it. If it's a permanent card, they may put it onto the battlefield. Otherwise, they may put it onto the battlefield face down as a 4/4 red Present creature. (To wrap a card, put it inside lots of sleeves. If it would be dealt damage or destroyed, remove a sleeve from it instead.)

Collector Protector

{W}, Give an opponent a nonland card you own from outside the game: Prevent the next 1 damage that would be dealt to you or this creature this turn.

Animate Graveyard

Enchant your graveyard
Enchanted graveyard is a creature on the battlefield with base power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It has the text boxes of all creature cards in it. It's still a graveyard.
If enchanted graveyard would leave the battlefield, instead exile this Aura.

Gnome-Made Engine

When this creature enters, create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.

Arteeoh, Dread Scavenger

Flying, deathtouch
Whenever Arteeoh deals combat damage to a player, you may exchange control of two other target artifacts. When you do, create a token that's a copy of target artifact you don't control, except it's a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token in addition to its other colors and types.

Goblin S.W.A.T. Team

Say "Goblin S.W.A.T. Team": Put a +1/+1 counter on this creature unless an opponent swats the table within five seconds. Activate only once each turn.

First strike, protection from loose lips (Nothing with an open mouth in its artwork can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Haberthrasher

Deathtouch
Whenever another creature you control that has a hat enters or a hat sticker is put on a creature you control, each opponent loses 1 life.

{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate only as an instant.
{3}, {T}: Target player discards a card. Activate only during your turn.
{X}: This artifact becomes an X/X Construct artifact creature until end of turn.

First strike, protection from even collector numbers (Nothing with an even collector number can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Goblin Tutor

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
2 — A card named Goblin Tutor
3 — An enchantment
4 — An artifact
5 — A creature
6 — An instant or sorcery

Dumb Ass

At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, target opponent chooses whether this creature attacks this turn.

You must cast both B.F.M. cards to put
leaves the battlefield, sacrifice the other.
B.F.M. can't be blocked except by three or

Jermane, Pride of the Circus

{G}, {T}: Put two +1/+1 counters on target creature with four or more legs.
{1}{G}{G}, {T}: Until end of turn, all creatures able to block target creature with four or more legs do so.

Beast in Show

Blurry Beeble

Blurry (This creature can be blocked only if defending player was wearing glasses as it was cast.)
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card.

Fruitcake Elemental

Fruitcake Elemental is indestructible.
At the end of your turn, Fruitcake Elemental deals 7 damage to you.
{3}: Target player gains control of Fruitcake Elemental.

Blufferfish

{3}{U}: An opponent tells you a statement about themselves and secretly notes whether it's true or false. You guess which it is. If you guessed correctly, this creature gets +2/+0 and can't be blocked this turn.

Claire D'Loon, Joy Sculptor

When Claire D'Loon, Joy Sculptor enters, for the rest of the game, tokens you own become cards that are still tokens. (They continue to exist after they leave the battlefield.)
{1}{W}{U}, {T}: You may put a token from your graveyard or hand onto the battlefield.

It That Gets Left Hanging

When this creature enters, ask a person outside the game to high-five you. If they won't, this creature gains haste until end of turn.

Handy Dandy Clone Machine

{2}, {T}: Create a 2/2 colorless Homunculus creature token. It must be represented by a unique hand and two fingers at all times, or it ceases to exist.

Eager Beaver

When this creature enters, you may untap target permanent.

Avatar of Me

This spell costs {1} more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.
Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.
Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

Applejack

Family Gathering — At the beginning of your end step, put a toy you own onto the battlefield as a 2/2 creature token with that toy's name, colors, and creature types. If the toy has wings, the token has flying. If the toy has a horn, scry 2. If it has neither, create a Food token.

Icing Manipulator

Each +1/+1 counter on a creature you control is also a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this token: You gain 3 life.")
{3}{G}, {T}: Roll two six-sided dice. For each odd result, put a +1/+1 counter on a creature of your choice. Activate only as a sorcery.

Gluetius Maximus

As this creature enters, an opponent chooses one of your fingers. (Thumbs are fingers, too.)
When the chosen finger isn't touching this creature, sacrifice this creature.

Double Play

Choose another player. Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Killer Cosplay

Whenever this Equipment becomes attached to a creature, choose a creature card name with an identical mana cost. That creature becomes a copy of the card with the chosen name until this Equipment becomes unattached from it.
Equip {3}

Clay Pigeon

Flying
{1}, Throw this creature into the air at least two feet above your head while seated: If you catch this creature with one hand, prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to you this turn and tap this creature. Otherwise, sacrifice it.

How to Keep an Izzet Mage Busy

Return How to Keep an Izzet Mage Busy to its owner's hand.

Graveyard Busybody

All graveyards are also your graveyards.
Graveyard Busybody's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards with flavor text in your graveyards.

Jack-in-the-Mox

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.
1 — Sacrifice this artifact and you lose 5 life.
2 — Add {W}.
3 — Add {U}.
4 — Add {B}.
5 — Add {R}.
6 — Add {G}.

Impounding Lot-Bot

When this creature enters, you may say "INCARCERATE!" in a robot voice. If you do, exile another target artifact or enchantment until this creature leaves the battlefield.

Blacker Lotus

{T}: Tear this artifact into pieces. Add four mana of any one color. Remove the pieces from the game.

Goblin Mime

Chittering Doom

Whenever you roll a 4 or higher on a die, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Hungry Hungry Heifer

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may remove a counter from a permanent you control. If you don't, sacrifice this creature.

Defective Detective

This creature can't be blocked.
When this creature enters, a person outside the game looks at target opponent's hand and chooses a card from it. That player reveals that card.

Jund 'Em Out

Retrace (Sorry, no room for reminder text.)
Choose one at random. Create a copy of the chosen card. You may cast the copy without paying its mana cost.
• Abrupt Decay
• Blightning
• Bloodbraid Elf
• Lightning Bolt
• Liliana of the Veil
• Tarmogoyf

Ineffable Blessing

As this enchantment enters, choose white-bordered or silver-bordered.
Whenever a creature you control with the chosen border enters, draw a card.

Grand Marshal Macie

You may choose not to untap Grand Marshal Macie during your untap step. If you do, put a pause counter on it, then you lose 1 life for each pause counter on it.
Whenever Macie becomes untapped, remove all pause counters from it.
{2}, {T}: Choose an "until end of turn" or "this turn" effect. As long as Macie remains tapped, that effect doesn't end.

Clam-I-Am

If you roll a 3 on a six-sided die, you may reroll that die.

Goblin Bowling Team

If this creature would deal damage to a permanent or player, it deals that much damage plus the result of a six-sided die roll to that permanent or player instead.

{2}, {T}: Draw a card. Activate only if you have no cards in hand.
{8}, {T}: You gain 10 life.
{4}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You may put a silver-bordered or acorn permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Animate Object

You get seven {TK}. Choose an inanimate object you own from outside the game. Put a power and toughness sticker on it. You may also put a name sticker, an art sticker, and/or an ability sticker on it. Put it onto the battlefield as a creature token.

B-I-N-G-O

Trample
Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.
This creature gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

Head to Head

You and target opponent play Seven Questions with the top card of that player's library. If you win, prevent all damage that would be dealt this turn by a source of your choice. (To play Seven Questions, that player looks at the card, then you ask up to six yes-or-no questions about the card that they answer truthfully. You guess the card's name—that's question seven—then the player reveals the card.)

Gobland

(Gobland isn't a spell, it's affected by summoning sickness, and it has "{T}: Add {R}.")
Gobland can't block.

Get a Life

Target player and each of that player's teammates exchange life totals.

As Ineffable Blessing enters, choose a number.
Whenever a creature you control with exactly the chosen number of words in its name enters, draw a card. (Hyphenated words are one word.)

Ghazbán Ogress

When this creature enters, if one player has won more Magic games that day than any other player, that player gains control of this creature.

Abstract Iguanart

Whenever you cast a spell, note the first letter of its artist's name. If that letter wasn't already noted, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.

Join the Group

You may put a legendary creature card from your hand into the command zone. It's also your commander.

Champions of Archery

Reach
Commanders you control get +X/+0, where X is the number of commanders you control.

Champions of Archery // Join the Group

Border Guardian

Whenever you cast a silver-bordered spell, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.
Whenever you cast a black-bordered spell, this creature can't be blocked this turn.
Whenever you cast a white-bordered spell, this creature gains double strike until end of turn.