Grillburger
9.8k views5 days ago
Commander
Size: 100Salt sum: 29.01
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Draw
Baron Helmut Zemo
Whenever you cast a black spell from your hand, Baron Helmut Zemo connives.
Boast — Exile any number of black cards from your graveyard with fifteen or more black mana symbols among their mana costs: Copy those exiled cards. You may cast up to three of the copies without paying their mana costs. (Activate only if this creature attacked this turn and only once each turn.)
Boast — Exile any number of black cards from your graveyard with fifteen or more black mana symbols among their mana costs: Copy those exiled cards. You may cast up to three of the copies without paying their mana costs. (Activate only if this creature attacked this turn and only once each turn.)
Legendary Creature - Human Villain Noble
Black Market Connections
At the beginning of your first main phase, choose one or more —
• Sell Contraband — Create a Treasure token. You lose 1 life.
• Buy Information — Draw a card. You lose 2 life.
• Hire a Mercenary — Create a 3/2 colorless Shapeshifter creature token with changeling. You lose 3 life. (It is every creature type.)
• Sell Contraband — Create a Treasure token. You lose 1 life.
• Buy Information — Draw a card. You lose 2 life.
• Hire a Mercenary — Create a 3/2 colorless Shapeshifter creature token with changeling. You lose 3 life. (It is every creature type.)
Enchantment
Darkstar Augur
Offspring (You may pay an additional as you cast this spell. If you do, when this creature enters, create a 1/1 token copy of it.)
Flying
At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal the top card of your library and put that card into your hand. You lose life equal to its mana value.
Flying
At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal the top card of your library and put that card into your hand. You lose life equal to its mana value.
Creature - Bat Warlock
Draw
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Evasion
Evasion
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Finisher
Finisher
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Land
Minas Morgul, Dark Fortress
Minas Morgul enters tapped.
: Add .
, : Put a shadow counter on target creature. For as long as that creature has a shadow counter on it, it's a Wraith in addition to its other types. (A creature with shadow can block or be blocked by only creatures with shadow.)
: Add .
, : Put a shadow counter on target creature. For as long as that creature has a shadow counter on it, it's a Wraith in addition to its other types. (A creature with shadow can block or be blocked by only creatures with shadow.)
Legendary Land
Land
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Lich
Lich's Mastery
Hexproof
You can't lose the game.
Whenever you gain life, draw that many cards.
Whenever you lose life, for each 1 life you lost, exile a permanent you control or a card from your hand or graveyard.
When Lich's Mastery leaves the battlefield, you lose the game.
You can't lose the game.
Whenever you gain life, draw that many cards.
Whenever you lose life, for each 1 life you lost, exile a permanent you control or a card from your hand or graveyard.
When Lich's Mastery leaves the battlefield, you lose the game.
Legendary Enchantment
Lich
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Lifegain
Lifegain
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Multi Permanent Removal
Blood on the Snow
Choose one —
• Destroy all creatures.
• Destroy all planeswalkers.
Then return a creature or planeswalker card with mana value X or less from your graveyard to the battlefield, where X is the amount of spent to cast this spell. ( is mana from a snow source.)
• Destroy all creatures.
• Destroy all planeswalkers.
Then return a creature or planeswalker card with mana value X or less from your graveyard to the battlefield, where X is the amount of spent to cast this spell. ( is mana from a snow source.)
Snow Sorcery
Multi Permanent Removal
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Protect Kitty
Protect Kitty
(CTRL to add secondary)
Protect Me
Pact Weapon
As long as this Equipment is attached to a creature, you don't lose the game for having 0 or less life.
Whenever equipped creature attacks, draw a card and reveal it. The creature gets +X/+X until end of turn and you lose X life, where X is that card's mana value.
Equip—Discard a card.
Whenever equipped creature attacks, draw a card and reveal it. The creature gets +X/+X until end of turn and you lose X life, where X is that card's mana value.
Equip—Discard a card.
Artifact - Equipment
Protect Me
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Pump
Pump
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Ramp
Defiler of Flesh
Menace
As an additional cost to cast black permanent spells, you may pay 2 life. Those spells cost less to cast if you paid life this way. This effect reduces only the amount of black mana you pay.
Whenever you cast a black permanent spell, target creature you control gets +1/+1 and gains menace until end of turn.
As an additional cost to cast black permanent spells, you may pay 2 life. Those spells cost less to cast if you paid life this way. This effect reduces only the amount of black mana you pay.
Whenever you cast a black permanent spell, target creature you control gets +1/+1 and gains menace until end of turn.
Creature - Horror Phyrexian
The Darkness Crystal
Black spells you cast cost less to cast.
If a nontoken creature an opponent controls would die, instead exile it and you gain 2 life.
, : Put target creature card exiled with The Darkness Crystal onto the battlefield tapped under your control with two additional +1/+1 counters on it.
If a nontoken creature an opponent controls would die, instead exile it and you gain 2 life.
, : Put target creature card exiled with The Darkness Crystal onto the battlefield tapped under your control with two additional +1/+1 counters on it.
Legendary Artifact
Ramp
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Recursion
Meathook Massacre II
When Meathook Massacre II enters, each player sacrifices X creatures of their choice.
Whenever a creature you control dies, you may pay 3 life. If you do, return that card under your control with a finality counter on it.
Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, they may pay 3 life. If they don't, return that card under your control with a finality counter on it.
Whenever a creature you control dies, you may pay 3 life. If you do, return that card under your control with a finality counter on it.
Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, they may pay 3 life. If they don't, return that card under your control with a finality counter on it.
Legendary Enchantment
Xiahou Dun, the One-Eyed
Horsemanship (This creature can't be blocked except by creatures with horsemanship.)
Sacrifice Xiahou Dun: Return target black card from your graveyard to your hand. Activate only during your turn, before attackers are declared.
Sacrifice Xiahou Dun: Return target black card from your graveyard to your hand. Activate only during your turn, before attackers are declared.
Legendary Creature - Human Soldier
Recursion
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Single Target Removal
Garza's Assassin
Sacrifice this creature: Destroy target nonblack creature.
Recover—Pay half your life, rounded up. (When another creature is put into your graveyard from the battlefield, you may pay half your life, rounded up. If you do, return this card from your graveyard to your hand. Otherwise, exile this card.)
Recover—Pay half your life, rounded up. (When another creature is put into your graveyard from the battlefield, you may pay half your life, rounded up. If you do, return this card from your graveyard to your hand. Otherwise, exile this card.)
Creature - Human Assassin
Single Target Removal
(CTRL to add secondary)
Sideboard
Bolas's Citadel
You may look at the top card of your library any time.
You may play lands and cast spells from the top of your library. If you cast a spell this way, pay life equal to its mana value rather than pay its mana cost.
, Sacrifice ten nonland permanents: Each opponent loses 10 life.
You may play lands and cast spells from the top of your library. If you cast a spell this way, pay life equal to its mana value rather than pay its mana cost.
, Sacrifice ten nonland permanents: Each opponent loses 10 life.
Legendary Artifact
Sideboard
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Deck Info
Deck stats
CategoriesQtyOdds
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Deck extras (0)
Description
{"ops":[{"insert":"Kitty Kitty Bang Bang is a mono-black Voltron deck helmed by Mirage's own Purraj of Urborg, and when I say mono-black, I mean that ever single spell in the deck is black and every single land in the deck is black. No colorless lands, no colorless spells. All black. The deck celebrates the entirety of Magic, the Gathering, with cards ranging from the game's beginnings to its present. The deck plays fast and reckless with its life total, tries to activate Purraj's +1+1 counter ability with every spell it casts, and has developed its own style, its own play patterns, and its own flair, making it a truly one of a kind deck. Both insane and calculated. Both smart and dumb. Both jank and well oiled. Kitty stands alone.\n\nA version of this deck was chosen as a finalist by the YouTuber \"Unpopular MTG\" for their \"Commander decks that break the color pie\" deckbuilding challenge. Link to the video discussing it is right here: https://youtu.be/fblktWZ28go?si=GQxOygK02Rh6k2fn \n\nIt didn't win, but that's okay. Anyways....\n\nBelow is the deck's story, or at least how I remember it. \n\nOne day at my LGS I found myself bored, having been taken out of the previous game early for some reason. It was probably just one step I was taking towards a prolonged lesson in proper threat assessment. At any rate, I found myself on scryfall looking for something and this is where I came across Purraj, of Urborg. I immediately recognized its potential and on the fly I built a deck centered around combat tricks where I would pay the black and collect counters as the game went on. I gutted my Chevill deck, scrounged up a bunch of swamps from the people cracking packs (Phyrexia All Will Be One was the latest set) and bought all the cards needed at the front counter. In under an hour, I had about twenty-five fewer bucks in my pocket, a brand new deck, and was casting Purraj in the very next game I played. These early games quickly brought my hopes to my knees as I realized just how slow and fragile the whole strategy was. I made changes over the next week or two that helped but the deck always existed on the fringes of my mind and in the bottom corner of my backpack, only coming out at times when I felt I needed to really mix things up. The sleeves and the deckbox were repurposed and worn down, the card choices lacked the thought necessary for a consistent gameplay experience, and the joke of playing such a deck wore more and more thin as time went on. It eventually got to a point where I lacked any semblance of pride or interest in the deck, and the only reason I didn't take it apart was because I didn't have a reason to. One night, I was playing the deck when someone leaned forward with a disgusted look on their face and said \"those sleeves are gross,\" which still makes me shiver from embarrassment to this day. In my mind, this was always my budget deck. My joke deck. A deck with a crusty box and worn out sleeves that I refused to put money towards. But this was about to change. After that game, and that embarrassing moment, I went to the front counter of the LGS and bought some new sleeves. I sleeved her up that night and doing this completely changed my perspective of the deck. I started thinking more deeply about card choices, about gameplay, about what the deck wanted to be. The new sleeves made the deck too bulky to fit in that old, crusty box that used to house it so I moved it into my gamegenic tower and threw the old box away. With new sleeves and a new(er) deck box, the first steps towards what the deck would become had begun.\n\nSoon after, I had a day all to myself so I spent it at an LGS I rarely find myself at so I could place a sizeable order of new cards for Purraj. The front counter fished out what I asked for, and when they called me over to pick them up, they were all crowded around each other, laughing at the cards, saying \"We have to know what the heck you're buying these for,\" which is a reaction I wear as a badge of honor. This was when I made the decision to move away from combat tricks and towards more permanent buffs and evasion spells. I also fixed up the ramp and removal packages to be more solid than whatever I was using before. Now, I found myself enjoying the deck more, having better, more impactful games. The deck existed in this \"Era\" for quite some time. It was still budget and didn't have many of the cards it would go on the be known for, but it was working better and I was having more fun with it.\n\nEventually, this era came to a close when I began to do a deep dive on mono black decks as a whole. This is when I added cabal coffers, cabal stronghold, lake of the dead, necropotence, and various other hard-hitting black spells. Now, I had a good understanding of what mono black was capable of, and how to best use these tools to my advantage, while still feeling like I was being honest to what the deck was. It was around this time that the true personality of the deck came together, and this personality has shined ever since. I cut Jet Medallion, the last colorless spell the deck had, and now every single card was completely black. \n\nWhat followed this was several months of me scrapping through scryfall, desperate to find hidden gems and other various forgotten spells throughout magic's history that might work wonders in this deck. It was so fun to go shopping for pieces because the deck's needs were so weird it was rather rare for newer sets that had cards I wanted, and I largely found solace in the old border, cards printed closer to Purraj herself. And after all that scrapping, I had put together a well curated, sleek 99. And that 99 is what you see here today. \n\nBELOW IS A PRIMER FOR THE DECK. HOW IT WORKS, WHAT I LOOK FOR, AND HOW I PLAY IT.\n\nThe first thing you need to keep in mind regarding this deck is that Purraj costs 5 mana. Many other commanders out there are less than that. You can have consistent play patterns where you ramp, play commander, play payoff, and you're off to the races. Purraj is like a step or two slower. We're not trying to rush her out. I will only dark ritual her out on turn three if I have absolutely nothing else to do on that turn. So assuming we don't ramp with a mana rock, as you most likely won't be, let's break down the goals for the first four turns. And before I go further, never take a hand with fewer than three lands. You'll always be punished.\n\nIf Purraj costs 5, we need stuff to do for four turns. This is where the PPPs (pre Purraj Plays) come in. These are permanents or spells that work without the need for Purraj to be in play. Things that give me value as we wait for that turn when I slam her down. When I look at my opening hand, I want a phyrexian arena effect more than anything. This deck can run out of cards quickly if you're not drawing extra cards each turn it can completely kill any momentum, and then you're stuck with a 2/3. By the time I untap with Purraj for the first time, I want a full grip, with more cards coming on later turns. This is mandatory. Also, I don't want to be spending a lot of mana on card draw spells once she's out. I need to make these later turns count and if I'm not making the kitty bigger, I'm not going to impact the game. Remember, all the cards I cast after Purraj hits the table cost one black extra, because we will be paying that one extra every single time. I made sure I'd have a healthy dose of these effects in the deck at two and three mana, making it easier to double up on them. Double up if you can. Your life total will be low. That's okay. You'll find a lifelink spell along the way (I hope).\n\nAlso in these early turns you'll want ramp spells. There's several. Just try to get one down so you can use it later, weather it's a creature that sacs for two black, or a mana doubler, or a cost reducer. If I can manage to do both of these things, I'm going to have a great game.\n\nI also loaded the deck with various other cards that can come down before Purraj does. Things like Feast on the Fallen, or Cover of Darkness. These are great because you might find yourself in an early turn with nothing else to do and it gives you agency. Of course, these spells are less important than the ramp and card draw you'll for sure be wanting, but I did my best at sprawling out their mana costs so you're more likely to have something to do on all four of these early turns, even if it's just playing a tap land. \n\nBe careful the turn Purraj comes down. She's not threatening upon arrival. Use this to your advantage. Most people won't bother killing her but if you're curving out for her, make sure someone doesn't want to wipe the board. \n\nOnce Kitty is down, You'll now have access to a lot of cards. Pay the one extra every time to get the most out of what you're casting. First, get her protected. I have a few regenerate aura enchantments. I hope you've found one. If not, I regret to inform you that you'll have to move forward with step two and hope nobody kills her. Step two, make her big. Don't worry too much about taking pot shots at people. Try and read the room and let your gut decide how to handle things. If you need to sit back and play defense, do it. This is when a well timed, offensive board wipe can be huge. Laying low can't be the move forever because once you've made her evasive and you're swinging you have to BE CAREFUL. Keep in mind the colors of the players you're playing against. White and blue are the most terrifying, and unfortunately I don't have much defense against bounce spells. If you suspect they have an answer for the kitty and are biding their time, conspire with your opponents and bait out the removal on their creatures so you can be home free. Either that, or hold that fling effect tight to your stomach and hope to get them out of nowhere when they aren't expecting it. \n\nSANDBAG INFECT!!!\n\nInfect is in the deck for two reasons. 1. Someone is moving way too fast and needs to be taken out. 2. Kitty died and you're trying to get back in the game. Depending on your card draw capabilities, you might struggle to build her back up. This is when infect shines. If kitty is already big, lean into it. Save infect for when she's not. She will die in games, and you have to be prepared. Glistening oil is an exception to this rule in a sense because it comes back to your hand if it is removed. Remember when you couldn't cast both of those auras because you were paying the one extra every time? Well, someone bane of progressed and now the counters remain, plus what you couldn't cast is still in your hand. See how that works? It forces you to not commit so hard to the board. Only do that if you see the win in sight and have no choice. \n\nNow you might notice the removal suite in this deck is rather strange. A large number of them have alternate costs that require no mana. This is because we spend our turns CURVING OUT to make the kitty big, and if we have extra mana (you really shouldn't all that often) it's because you're holding up for Imp's Mischief or you're paying the one extra on your opponent's black spells. WE DO NOT WASTE MANA!!! Tell people you have a snuff out so they leave you alone. Remove defensively. They'll learn. \n\nLate in the game you might find yourself low on life. Lifelink is a cornerstone of the deck. Even then, you'll draw aggro, and you'll be hurting yourself with your own cards. Pact Weapon can keep you alive. Lich's Mastery, followed up by a huge lifelinking swing, can draw you a brand new grip and help you close a game out. Remember, with Lich's Mastery, losing life for cards doesn't count in the early game if your cards become your life in the late game. Darkness can save you from dying. Don't underrate it. And I hope you've found a fling effect in the late game. Sometimes catching someone who thinks they have you off guard with a fling can mean the difference between winning and losing. Also, once someone has been knocked out, its a good courtesy to wrap the game up quick. \n\nI also run nefarious lich in this deck. This is a cheaper, but far riskier lich effect compared to lich's mastery. If you're wondering why it's here, it's because of what I like to call \"LICH LOCK.\" Lich lock is when I assemble both lich cards at the same time. Basically, nefarious lich has two replacement effects: When I gain life, draw that many cards instead, and when I am dealt damage, exile that many cards from your graveyard instead. This ruling is important because Lich's mastery is NOT a replacement effect. It's a triggered ability. So this is how it shakes out: Whenever I'm dealt damage, that damage is replaced by exiling cards from my graveyard. Then, I lose if I have no more cards in the graveyard. However, because of Lich's Mastery, I can't lose the game. This basically means I can't die to damage when both of these cards are on the battlefield. I'll keep trying to exile cards from my graveyard, and when I fail, I'll keep trying to lose, but can't. This is a great way to buy a turn or two to close things out. That green player can no longer kill you with their overrun effect. Just hope they don't run nature's claim.\n\nPurraj won't always take out all three players. If someone has been taken out, you need to get rid of the player who can threaten removal against you the best. Don't let the blue or white player untap. You'll never win if they do. As long as they can't kill you or the kitty, they are not the problem. Again, the fling effects win games. Down to two players, you can take out both if life totals permit.\n\nAnd that's a quick and dirty telling of how the deck functions. Don't step on toes, be unassuming, strike for the heart. And never forget that you're playing a fully black deck with goofy cards. Own it. Have fun with it. You need to bring the energy of an evil mage if you're ever going to have a chance with this deck. Pay more life than you want to. Sacrifice lands to lake of the dead, leave yourself open and hope they don't hit you. Be fearless. You'll find yourself in many games hanging on for dear life. That means the deck is working. Even if you hurdle to an untimely death, you'll have more fun than playing too slowly. This deck NEEDS TO GO! Don't put a governor on her. \n\nFULL SEND ON BLACK MARKET CONNECTIONS! GO TO NEGATIVE 50 AND HOPE NOBODY REMOVES PACT WEAPON! THIS IS THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN PLAY THIS DECK CORRECTLY!!!! If you can't bring this energy, play something else. \n\nAnyways, to whoever is mad enough to read all this, I hope I gave you a little insight. I hope I made you laugh. I hope you found some cards you might want to slot in a deck of your own. As you can tell, this is a deck I feel very deeply about. It's definitely the deck that feels the most like an artistic expression and I love sharing it with people when I get the chance to sit down for a game of commander. \n\nFrom the bottom of my backpack, to the bottom of my heart, Purraj has truly ascended. \n"}]}