Optical Optimizer

Whenever you crank Optical Optimizer, until end of turn, target creature becomes an artifact in addition to its other types and gains "{T}: Draw a card."

Island

Animate Library

Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile Animate Library instead.

Breach the Multiverse

Each player mills ten cards. For each player, choose a creature or planeswalker card in that player's graveyard. Put those cards onto the battlefield under your control. Then each creature you control becomes a Phyrexian in addition to its other types.

Handy Dandy Clone Machine

{2}, {T}: Create a 2/2 colorless Homunculus creature token. It must be represented by a unique hand and two fingers at all times, or it ceases to exist.

Deadly Poison Sampler

Whenever you crank Deadly Poison Sampler, until end of turn, target creature gains "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, destroy target creature that player controls."

Trailblazer's Boots

Equipped creature has nonbasic landwalk. (It can't be blocked as long as defending player controls a nonbasic land.)
Equip {2}

Over My Dead Bodies

Creature cards in graveyards can attack and block as though they were on the battlefield, can block or be blocked only by creature cards in graveyards, are Zombies in addition to their other types, and have undeathtouch. (If they would deal damage to a creature card, exile that creature card instead.)
Creature cards in your graveyard have haste.

Gleemax

You choose all targets for all spells and abilities.

Poxwalkers

Deathtouch
Curse of the Walking Pox — Whenever you cast a spell from anywhere other than your hand, return Poxwalkers from your graveyard to the battlefield tapped.

Prowler's Helm

Equipped creature can't be blocked except by Walls.
Equip {2}

Hot Soup

Equipped creature can't be blocked.
Whenever equipped creature is dealt damage, destroy it.
Equip {3} ({3}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Whispersilk Cloak

Equipped creature can't be blocked and has shroud. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities.)
Equip {2}

Sol Ring

Arcane Signet

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Swamp

Rod of Spanking

{2}, {T}: Rod of Spanking deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap Rod of Spanking unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

Telepathy

Your opponents play with their hands revealed.

Negate

Record Store

Whenever you crank Record Store, look at the top X cards of your library, where X is the number of artifacts you control. Put one of those cards into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.

Five-Finger Discount

Put target nonland permanent into your hand. You may spend mana as though it were mana of any color the next time you cast that card.

Trivia Contest

Visit — An opponent chooses white card, land card, or planeswalker card, then mills a card. You have ten seconds to name something from the chosen category that starts with the same letter as the milled card. If you do, claim the prize!
Prize — You get {TK}{TK}{TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Sacrifice Trivia Contest and open an Attraction.

Avatar of Me

This spell costs {1} more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.
Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.
Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

Filter Out

Return all noncreature, nonland permanents to their owners' hands.

The Big Top

{T}: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)

Duplication Device

Whenever you crank Duplication Device, until end of turn, target creature becomes a copy of any creature on the battlefield, except it's an artifact in addition to its other types.

Guest List

Whenever you crank Guest List, target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of creature cards in its controller's graveyard.

Inquisition of Kozilek

Target player reveals their hand. You choose a nonland card from it with mana value 3 or less. That player discards that card.

Centrifuge

Visit — Each player draws a card from the library of the player to their right. You create three Treasure tokens.

Talisman of Dominance

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}. Talisman of Dominance deals 1 damage to you.

Commander's Sphere

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.
Sacrifice Commander's Sphere: Draw a card.

Visit — An opponent chooses colorless card, creature card, or plane, then mills a card. You have ten seconds to name something from the chosen category that starts with the same letter as the milled card. If you do, claim the prize!
Prize — You get {TK}{TK}{TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Sacrifice Trivia Contest and open an Attraction.

Denied!

Choose a card name, then target spell's controller reveals their hand. If a card with the chosen name is revealed this way, counter that spell.

As long as X is in X's owner's opponent's hand, X's owner may cast X and activate X's abilities. That opponent can't cast X and plays with their hand revealed.
{U}{B}, {T}: Put X into target opponent's hand.
{3}{U}{B}: You may play a land or cast a spell from the hand X is in. If you cast a spell this way, you cast it without paying its mana cost.

Brainstorm

Draw three cards, then put two cards from your hand on top of your library in any order.

Refibrillator

Whenever you crank Refibrillator, return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.

Arvinox, the Mind Flail

Arvinox, the Mind Flail isn't a creature unless you control three or more permanents you don't own.
At the beginning of your end step, exile the bottom card of each opponent's library face down. For as long as those cards remain exiled, you may look at them, you may cast permanent spells from among them, and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast those spells.

Thieving Amalgam

At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, you manifest the top card of that player's library. (Put it onto the battlefield face down as a 2/2 creature. Turn it face up any time for its mana cost if it's a creature card.)
Whenever a creature you control but don't own dies, its owner loses 2 life and you gain 2 life.

Dictation Quillograph

Whenever you crank Dictation Quillograph, until end of turn, target creature gains "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card."

Visit — An opponent chooses blue card, enchantment card, or creature type, then mills a card. You have ten seconds to name something from the chosen category that starts with the same letter as the milled card. If you do, claim the prize!
Prize — You get {TK}{TK}{TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Sacrifice Trivia Contest and open an Attraction.

Very Cryptic Command

Choose two —
• Switch target creature's power and toughness until end of turn.
• Target creature can't be blocked this turn.
• Draw a card. If that card's art is by Wayne England, you may reveal it and draw another card.
• Assemble a Contraption.

Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Tasha, the Witch Queen

Whenever you cast a spell you don't own, create a 3/3 black Demon creature token.
+1: Draw a card. For each opponent, exile up to one target instant or sorcery card from that player's graveyard and put a page counter on it.
−3: You may cast a spell from among cards in exile with page counters on them without paying its mana cost.
Tasha, the Witch Queen can be your commander.

Wishclaw Talisman

Wishclaw Talisman enters with three wish counters on it.
{1}, {T}, Remove a wish counter from Wishclaw Talisman: Search your library for a card, put it into your hand, then shuffle. An opponent gains control of Wishclaw Talisman. Activate only during your turn.

Pet Project

Whenever you crank Pet Project, put target creature card from an opponent's graveyard onto the battlefield under your control.

Prize Wall

Defender
{U}, {T}: You get {TK}.
{4}{U}, {T}: You may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Activate only as a sorcery.

Twiddlestick Charger

Whenever you crank Twiddlestick Charger, tap or untap target creature.

Sage of the Beyond

Flying
Spells you cast from anywhere other than your hand cost {2} less to cast.
Foretell {4}{U} (During your turn, you may pay {2} and exile this card from your hand face down. Cast it on a later turn for its foretell cost.)

Dispatch Dispensary

Whenever you crank Dispatch Dispensary, create a 2/2 black Rogue creature token with menace.

Thought Vessel

You have no maximum hand size.
{T}: Add {C}.

Command Performance

Choose two —
• Open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
• Roll to visit your Attractions.
• You get {TK}{TK}.
• You may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Sly Spy

Whenever Sly Spy deals combat damage to a player, that player reveals their hand. You choose a card from it with the longest name. That player discards that card.

Phoebe, Head of S.N.E.A.K.

Phoebe, Head of S.N.E.A.K. can't be blocked by creatures with flavor text.
{2}{U}{B}: Phoebe permanently steals target creature's text box. (That creature loses all rules text, flavor text, and watermarks. This creature gains them.)

Squirrel Stack

Visit — You have five seconds to stack dice on top of one another. If you stack at least five dice, claim the prize!
Prize — Create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token for each die you stacked above the fourth, then sacrifice Squirrel Stack and open an Attraction.

Insufferable Syphon

Whenever you crank Insufferable Syphon, target player discards a card.

Split Screen

When Split Screen enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When Split Screen leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Incite Insight

Assemble X Contraptions. (To assemble a Contraption, put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Rapid Prototyper

Whenever you crank Rapid Prototyper, create an X/X colorless Construct artifact creature token, where X is the number of artifacts you control.

City of Ass

City of Ass enters tapped.
{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

Prosperity

Hangman

As Hangman enters, secretly note a word with six to eight letters.
{1}: Target player who doesn't control Hangman guesses the noted word or an unguessed letter in that word. If they guess wrong, put a +1/+1 counter on Hangman. Any player may activate this ability.
When a player guesses the noted word or all of its letters, sacrifice Hangman.

Fellwar Stone

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

Faerie Aerie

Whenever you crank Faerie Aerie, create two 1/1 blue Faerie Spy creature tokens with flying, haste, and "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, draw a card." Exile them at the beginning of the next end step.

Feed the Swarm

Destroy target creature or enchantment an opponent controls. You lose life equal to that permanent's mana value.

Clocknapper

When Clocknapper enters, choose beginning phase, first main phase, combat phase, postcombat main phase, or ending phase. Steal that phase from target player during their next turn. (That phase occurs as though it's your turn instead.)

Command Tower

Step Right Up

Open two Attractions. (Put the top two cards of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Agent of Treachery

When Agent of Treachery enters, gain control of target permanent.
At the beginning of your end step, if you control three or more permanents you don't own, draw three cards.

Mind Stone

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice Mind Stone: Draw a card.

"Lifetime" Pass Holder

"Lifetime" Pass Holder enters tapped.
When "Lifetime" Pass Holder dies, open an Attraction.
Whenever you roll to visit your Attractions, if you roll a 6, you may return "Lifetime" Pass Holder from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Herald of Leshrac

Flying
Cumulative upkeep—Gain control of a land you don't control. (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on this permanent, then sacrifice it unless you pay its upkeep cost for each age counter on it.)
Herald of Leshrac gets +1/+1 for each land you control but don't own.
When Herald of Leshrac leaves the battlefield, each player gains control of each land they own that you control.

Quick Fixer

Menace
Whenever Quick Fixer deals combat damage to a player, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Farewell to Arms

As Farewell to Arms enters, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm.
When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice Farewell to Arms. If you do, that player discards their hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.)

Duress

Target opponent reveals their hand. You choose a noncreature, nonland card from it. That player discards that card.

Top-Secret Tunnel

Whenever you crank Top-Secret Tunnel, target creature can't be blocked this turn.

Merry-Go-Round

Visit — Creatures you control with power 2 or less gain horsemanship until end of turn. (They can't be blocked except by creatures with horsemanship.)

S.N.E.A.K. Dispatcher

{2}{U}, {T}: Look at the top card of target player's library. If it has an Agents of S.N.E.A.K. watermark, you may reveal it and put it into your hand. Otherwise, put it on your choice of the top or bottom of its owner's library.

Aetherize

Return all attacking creatures to their owner's hand.

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

Visit — An opponent chooses red card, sorcery card, or legendary card, then mills a card. You have ten seconds to name something from the chosen category that starts with the same letter as the milled card. If you do, claim the prize!
Prize — You get {TK}{TK}{TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Sacrifice Trivia Contest and open an Attraction.

Visit — An opponent chooses green card, instant card, or named mechanic, then mills a card. You have ten seconds to name something from the chosen category that starts with the same letter as the milled card. If you do, claim the prize!
Prize — You get {TK}{TK}{TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Sacrifice Trivia Contest and open an Attraction.

Soul Swindler

As long as you've visited an Attraction this turn, Soul Swindler has indestructible. (Damage and effects that say "destroy" don't destroy it.)
When Soul Swindler enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Graveyard Busybody

All graveyards are also your graveyards.
Graveyard Busybody's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards with flavor text in your graveyards.

Hypnotic Swirly Disc

Whenever you crank Hypnotic Swirly Disc, target player mills X cards, where X is the number of creatures you control.

Animate Graveyard

Enchant your graveyard
Enchanted graveyard is a creature on the battlefield with base power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It has the text boxes of all creature cards in it. It's still a graveyard.
If enchanted graveyard would leave the battlefield, instead exile Animate Graveyard.

Saw in Half

Destroy target creature. If that creature dies this way, its controller creates two tokens that are copies of that creature, except their power is half that creature's power and their toughness is half that creature's toughness. Round up each time.

Clay Pigeon

Flying
{1}, Throw Clay Pigeon into the air at least two feet above your head while seated: If you catch Clay Pigeon with one hand, prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to you this turn and tap Clay Pigeon. Otherwise, sacrifice it.

Exchange of Words

When Exchange of Words enters, choose two target creatures. For as long as Exchange of Words remains on the battlefield, exchange the text boxes of those creatures.

Gallery of Legends

Visit — Exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card, then choose a legendary creature card name with the same mana value as that card. Create a token that's a copy of the card with the chosen name. That token gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step.

Dimir Signet

Withengar Unbound

Flying, intimidate, trample (A creature with intimidate can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or creatures that share a color with it.)
Whenever a player loses the game, put thirteen +1/+1 counters on Withengar Unbound.

Elbrus, the Binding Blade

Equipped creature gets +1/+0.
When equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, unattach Elbrus, the Binding Blade, then transform it.
Equip {1}

Elbrus, the Binding Blade // Withengar Unbound

Visit — An opponent chooses black card, artifact card, or expansion, then mills a card. You have ten seconds to name something from the chosen category that starts with the same letter as the milled card. If you do, claim the prize!
Prize — You get {TK}{TK}{TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Sacrifice Trivia Contest and open an Attraction.