Adorable Kitten

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

Aerial Toastmaster

Flying
{3}{W}, Sacrifice another artifact: Aerial Toastmaster assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Amateur Auteur

Sacrifice Amateur Auteur: Destroy target enchantment.

By Gnome Means

{1}{W}, Remove a counter from a permanent you control: Create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.
{1}{W}, Sacrifice an artifact: Choose any kind of counter a printed card refers to, then put one of that counter on target permanent.

Chivalrous Chevalier

Flying
When Chivalrous Chevalier enters, return a creature you control to its owner's hand unless you compliment an opponent.

Do-It-Yourself Seraph

Flying
Whenever Do-It-Yourself Seraph attacks, you may search your library for an artifact card, exile it, then shuffle.
Do-It-Yourself Seraph has the text box of each card exiled with Do-It-Yourself Seraph in addition to its own.

Gimme Five

You gain 1 life for each person who high-fives you in the next thirty seconds. Each player in an Un-game who high-fives you gains 1 life. (Offer high fives. Don't hit people.)

GO TO JAIL

When GO TO JAIL enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until GO TO JAIL leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice GO TO JAIL.

Half-Kitten, Half-

Whenever you're dealt damage,
Augment {2}{W} ({2}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Humming-

Flying
Whenever you attack with two or more creatures,
Augment {3}{W} ({3}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Jackknight

Whenever another artifact you control enters, put a +1/+1 counter on Jackknight. If that artifact is a Contraption, Jackknight gains lifelink until end of turn.

Knight of the Kitchen Sink

First strike, protection from black borders (Nothing with a black border can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

First strike, protection from even collector numbers (Nothing with an even collector number can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

First strike, protection from loose lips (Nothing with an open mouth in its artwork can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

First strike, protection from odd collector numbers (Nothing with an odd collector number can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

First strike, protection from two-word names (Nothing with exactly two words in its name can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature. Hyphenated words are one word.)

First strike, protection from watermarks (Nothing with a watermark can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Knight of the Widget

Vigilance
Knight of the Widget's power and toughness are each equal to the number of Order of the Widget watermarks among permanents you control.

Midlife Upgrade

As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice X Contraptions.
Assemble X plus one Contraptions. (To assemble a Contraption, put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Oddly Uneven

Choose one —
• Destroy each creature with an odd number of words in its name. (Hyphenated words are one word.)
• Destroy each creature with an even number of words in its name.

Old Guard

{W}, {T}: Tap target creature without reminder text. (Reminder text is still any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Ordinary Pony

When this creature enters, you may exile target non-Horse creature you control that wasn't put onto the battlefield with this ability this turn, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control.

Rhino-

Whenever this creature blocks,
Augment {3}{W} ({3}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Riveting Rigger

When Riveting Rigger enters, you may sacrifice another artifact. If you do, put two +1/+1 counters on Riveting Rigger and it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Rules Lawyer

State-based actions don't apply to you or other permanents you control. (You don't lose the game due to having 0 or less life or drawing from an empty library. Your creatures aren't destroyed due to damage or deathtouch and aren't put into a graveyard due to having 0 or less toughness. Your planeswalkers aren't put into a graveyard if they have 0 loyalty. You don't put a legendary permanent into a graveyard if you control two with the same name. Counters aren't removed from your permanents due to game rules. Permanents you control attached or combined illegally remain on the battlefield. For complete rules and regulations, see rule 704.)

Sacrifice Play

A person outside the game chooses an attacking or blocking creature target opponent controls. That player sacrifices that creature.

Shaggy Camel

When this creature enters, creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.

Side Quest

Target player in an Un-game you can see from your seat gains control of target creature you control until your next turn. At the beginning of your next upkeep, put two +1/+1 counters on that creature. (A creature is on the battlefield of only the game its controller is playing.)

Success!

Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn. If it's a host or has augment, it gains lifelink until end of turn.

Teacher's Pet

{2}{W}, Sacrifice Teacher's Pet: Search your library for a card with augment, combine it with target host you control, then shuffle.

Animate Library

Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile Animate Library instead.

Blurry Beeble

Blurry (This creature can be blocked only if defending player was wearing glasses as it was cast.)
Whenever Blurry Beeble deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card.

Chipper Chopper

Flying
When Chipper Chopper enters, you may sacrifice another artifact. If you do, put two +1/+1 counters on Chipper Chopper and it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Clocknapper

When Clocknapper enters, choose beginning phase, first main phase, combat phase, second main phase, or ending phase. Steal that phase from target player during their next turn. (That phase occurs as though it's your turn instead.)

Crafty Octopus

When this creature enters, this creature assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Crow Storm

Create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.
Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn.)

Defective Detective

Defective Detective can't be blocked.
When Defective Detective enters, a person outside the game looks at target opponent's hand and chooses a card from it. That player reveals that card.

Five-Finger Discount

Put target nonland permanent into your hand. You may spend mana as though it were mana of any color the next time you cast that card.

Graveyard Busybody

All graveyards are also your graveyards.
Graveyard Busybody's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards with flavor text in your graveyards.

Half-Shark, Half-

At the beginning of your upkeep,
Augment {5}{U} ({5}{U}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Incite Insight

Assemble X Contraptions. (To assemble a Contraption, put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Kindly Cognician

Spells you cast that refer to artifacts or Contraptions in their rules text cost {1} less to cast.

Magic Word

Enchant creature
As Magic Word enters, choose a word.
Whisper the chosen word: Tap enchanted creature.

Mer Man

When this creature enters, you may draw a card.

More or Less

Add or subtract 1 or one from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn.

Novellamental

Flying
Novellamental can block only creatures with flying.

Numbing Jellyfish

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. Target player mills X cards, where X is the result.

S.N.E.A.K. Dispatcher

{2}{U}, {T}: Look at the top card of target player's library. If it has an Agents of S.N.E.A.K. watermark, you may reveal it and put it into your hand. Otherwise, put it on the top or bottom of its owner's library.

Socketed Sprocketer

{T}: Uninstall all results from Socketed Sprocketer, then roll a six-sided die. Install the result on Socketed Sprocketer. (Put the die on this card.)
You may uninstall a result from Socketed Sprocketer to use it for a die you rolled.
Uninstall a 6 from Socketed Sprocketer: Draw a card.

Spell Suck

Counter target spell, then assemble a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Spy Eye

Flying
Whenever Spy Eye deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card from that player's library.

Suspicious Nanny

Whenever Suspicious Nanny deals combat damage to a player, it reassembles target Contraption that player controls. (Gain control of it and move it onto one of your sprockets.)

Time Out

Roll a six-sided die. Put target nonland permanent into its owner's library just beneath the top X cards of that library, where X is the result.

Very Cryptic Command

Choose two —
• Switch target creature's power and toughness until end of turn.
• Target creature can't be blocked this turn.
• Draw a card. If that card's art is by Wayne England, you may reveal it and draw another card.
• Assemble a Contraption.

Choose two —
• Untap two target permanents.
• Tap each permanent target player controls with exactly one word in its name.
• Discard all the cards in your hand, then draw that many cards.
• Return target instant or sorcery card from your graveyard to your hand.

Choose two —
• Draw a card from an opponent's library.
• Copy target instant or sorcery spell. You may choose new targets for the copy.
• Until end of turn, target creature loses all abilities and becomes a blue Frog with base power and toughness 1/1.
• Create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.

Choose two —
• Return target permanent to its controller's hand.
• Draw two cards, then discard a card.
• Change the target of target spell with a single target.
• Turn over target nontoken creature.

Choose two —
• Counter target black-bordered spell.
• Return target creature to its owner's hand.
• Untap each permanent you control with a watermark.
• Roll two six-sided dice. Target player mills X cards, where X is the total of those results.

Choose two —
• Scry 3.
• Create a 2/2 black Rogue creature token with menace.
• Add or subtract 1 or one from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn.
• Return all artifacts target player controls to their owner's hand.

Wall of Fortune

Defender
You may tap an untapped Wall you control to have any player reroll a die that player rolled.

Big Boa Constrictor

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. Target opponent loses life equal to the result.

capital offense

target creature gets -x/-x until end of turn, where x is the number of times a capital letter appears in its rules text. (ignore reminder text and flavor text.)

Dirty Rat

When this creature enters, target opponent discards a card.

Extremely Slow Zombie

Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)

Finders, Keepers

Destroy target creature, then assemble a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Hangman

As Hangman enters, secretly note a word with six to eight letters.
{1}: Target player who doesn't control Hangman guesses the noted word or an unguessed letter in that word. If they guess wrong, put a +1/+1 counter on Hangman. Any player may activate this ability.
When a player guesses the noted word or all of its letters, sacrifice Hangman.

Hazmat Suit (Used)

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+1 and has menace.
Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches enchanted creature, that player loses 2 life.

Hoisted Hireling

Hoisted Hireling has flying as long as it's being held above the battlefield.

Inhumaniac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or 4, put a +1/+1 counter on Inhumaniac. On a 5 or higher, put two +1/+1 counters on it. On a 1, remove all +1/+1 counters from Inhumaniac.

Masterful Ninja

Haste
Reveal Masterful Ninja from your hand: Masterful Ninja is on the battlefield and in your hand until end of turn.
{1}{B}: Masterful Ninja gets +1/+1 until end of turn.

Ninja

You may activate Ninja's augment ability any time you could cast an instant.
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player,
Augment {2}{B} ({2}{B}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as—oh, never mind.)

Old-Fashioned Vampire

Flying
Old-Fashioned Vampire gets +2/+2 and has deathtouch as long as it's dark outdoors.

Over My Dead Bodies

Creature cards in graveyards can attack and block as though they were on the battlefield, can block or be blocked only by creature cards in graveyards, are Zombies in addition to their other types, and have undeathtouch. (If they would deal damage to a creature card, exile that creature card instead.)
Creature cards in your graveyard have haste.

Overt Operative

Menace
Whenever Overt Operative deals combat damage to a player, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

"Rumors of My Death . . ."

{3}{B}, Exile a permanent you control with a League of Dastardly Doom watermark: Return a permanent card with a League of Dastardly Doom watermark from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Skull Saucer

Flying
When Skull Saucer enters, destroy target creature and put your head on the table. Sacrifice Skull Saucer when your head stops touching the table.

Sly Spy

Whenever Sly Spy deals combat damage to a player, that player reveals their hand. You choose a card from it with the longest name. That player discards that card.

Whenever Sly Spy deals combat damage to a player, you may destroy target creature facing left in its art. (Creatures without faces don't face anywhere.)

Whenever Sly Spy deals combat damage to a player, that player loses a finger until Sly Spy leaves the battlefield. (The finger is chosen by its owner and can't roll dice or touch cards.)

Whenever Sly Spy deals combat damage to a player, you may destroy target creature facing right in its art. (Creatures without faces don't face anywhere.)

Whenever Sly Spy deals combat damage to a player, that player reveals the top card of their library. Put that card into your hand and you lose life equal to its mana value.

Whenever Sly Spy deals combat damage to a player, roll a six-sided die. That player loses life equal to the result.

Snickering Squirrel

You may tap Snickering Squirrel to increase the result of a die any player rolled by 1.

Spike, Tournament Grinder

({B/P} can be paid with either {B} or 2 life.)
{B/P}{B/P}{B/P}{B/P}: Reveal a card you own from outside the game that has been banned or restricted in a Constructed format and put it into your hand.

Squirrel-Powered Scheme

Increase the result of each die you roll by 2.

Steady-Handed Mook

Deathtouch
When Steady-Handed Mook enters, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Stinging Scorpion

When this creature enters, target creature an opponent controls gets -1/-1 until end of turn.

Subcontract

A person outside the game looks at target opponent's hand and chooses a nonland card from it. That player discards that card.

Summon the Pack

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put all creature cards revealed this way onto the battlefield under your control. They're Zombies in addition to their other types. (Remove those cards from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Zombified

{4}{B}: Combine Zombified from your graveyard with target host.
{2}{B}, Exile a creature card from your graveyard:
Augment {4}{B} ({4}{B}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

The Big Idea

{2}{B/R}{B/R}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Brainiac creature tokens equal to the result.
Tap three untapped Brainiacs you control: The next time you would roll a six-sided die, instead roll two six-sided dice and use the total of those results.

Box of Free-Range Goblins

Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the result.

Bumbling Pangolin

When this creature enters, you may destroy target artifact.

Common Iguana

When this creature enters, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.

The Countdown Is at One

Players play a Magic subgame, starting at 1 life and using their libraries as their decks. For the rest of the main game, if a source would deal damage to a player who didn't win the subgame, it deals double that damage to that player instead.

Feisty Stegosaurus

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature deals damage equal to the result to target creature an opponent controls.

Garbage Elemental

Frenzy 2 (Whenever this creature attacks and isn't blocked, it gets +2/+0 until end of turn.)
Garbage Elemental can't be blocked by wordy creatures. (A creature is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)

When Garbage Elemental enters, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)
Undying (When this creature dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)

Battle cry (Whenever this creature attacks, each other attacking creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn.)
When Garbage Elemental enters, roll two six-sided dice. Create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the difference between those results.

Cascade (When you cast this spell, exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card that costs less. You may cast it without paying its mana cost. Put the exiled cards on the bottom in a random order.)
When Garbage Elemental enters, roll a six-sided die. Garbage Elemental deals damage equal to the result to target opponent or planeswalker.

Unleash (You may have this creature enter with a +1/+1 counter on it. It can't block as long as it has a +1/+1 counter on it.)
Each creature you control with any kind of counter on it has art menace. (They can't be blocked except by creatures with two or more visible figures in their art.)

Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)
Battalion — Whenever Garbage Elemental and at least two other creatures attack, target creature can't block this turn.

Goblin Haberdasher

Menace (This creature can't be blocked except by two or more creatures.)
Other creatures you control wearing hats in their art have menace.

Half-Orc, Half-

Trample
At the beginning of each end step, if an opponent was dealt damage this turn,
Augment {1}{R}{R} ({1}{R}{R}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Hammer Helper

Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature and roll a six-sided die. Until end of turn, it gains haste and gets +X/+0, where X is the result.

Hammer Jammer

As Hammer Jammer enters, roll a six-sided die. Hammer Jammer enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
Whenever you roll a die, remove all +1/+1 counters from Hammer Jammer, then put a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.

Hammerfest Boomtacular

Whenever you cast a spell with a Goblin Explosioneers watermark, Hammerfest Boomtacular deals 2 damage to any target.

Infinity Elemental

It That Gets Left Hanging

When It That Gets Left Hanging enters, ask a person outside the game to high-five you. If they won't, It That Gets Left Hanging gains haste until end of turn.

Just Desserts

Just Desserts deals π damage to target creature. (π is the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. (It's a smidgen more than 3.))

Painiac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. Painiac gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result.