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Irreparable_Reprobate

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Urza, Academy Headmaster
+1: Head to AskUrza.com and click +1.
−1: Head to AskUrza.com and click -1.
−6: Head to AskUrza.com and click -6.
Legendary Planeswalker - Urza
Urza, Academy Headmaster (ust) 136

Commander

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Kindslaver
,
, Sacrifice Kindslaver: A person outside the game controls target player during that player's next turn. Neither player may advise that person until the end of that turn.
Legendary Artifact
Kindslaver (ust) 150
The Grand Calcutron
When The Grand Calcutron enters, each player's hand becomes a program (an ordered row of revealed cards).
Players can play only the first card of their program.
If a card would be put into a player's hand from anywhere, that player reveals it and places it anywhere within their program instead.
At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player's program has fewer than five cards, they draw cards equal to the difference.
The Grand Calcutron can be your commander.
Legendary Artifact
The Grand Calcutron (ust) 131

Artifact

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By Gnome Means
, Remove a counter from a permanent you control: Create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.
, Sacrifice an artifact: Choose any kind of counter a printed card refers to, then put one of that counter on target permanent.
Enchantment
By Gnome Means (ust) 4

Counters

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Avatar of Me
This spell costs
more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.
Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.
Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.
Creature - Avatar
Avatar of Me (und) 17
Beast in Show
Trample
Creature - Beast
Beast in Show (ust) 103d
Cheatyface
If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying
Creature - Efreet
Cheatyface (und) 20
Chivalrous Chevalier
Flying
When this creature enters, return a creature you control to its owner's hand unless you compliment an opponent.
Creature Artifact - Knight Cyborg
Chivalrous Chevalier (ust) 5
Do-It-Yourself Seraph
Flying
Whenever this creature attacks, you may search your library for an artifact card, exile it, then shuffle.
This creature has the text box of each card exiled with this creature in addition to its own.
Creature Artifact - Angel Cyborg
Do-It-Yourself Seraph (ust) 6
Elvish House Party
Elvish House Party's power and toughness are each equal to the current hour, using the twelve-hour system.
Creature - Elf Rogue
Elvish House Party (unh) 94
Elvish Impersonators
As this creature enters, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.
Creature - Elves
Elvish Impersonators (und) 62
Extremely Slow Zombie
Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)
Creature - Zombie
Extremely Slow Zombie (ust) 54c
Fascist Art Director
: This creature gains protection from the artist of your choice until end of turn.
Creature - Human Horror
Fascist Art Director (unh) 11
Hangman
As this creature enters, secretly note a word with six to eight letters.
: Target player who doesn't control this creature guesses the noted word or an unguessed letter in that word. If they guess wrong, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature. Any player may activate this ability.
When a player guesses the noted word or all of its letters, sacrifice this creature.
Creature - Human Villain
Hangman (ust) 56
Hoisted Hireling
This creature has flying as long as it's being held above the battlefield.
Creature - Zombie
Hoisted Hireling (ust) 58
Inhumaniac
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or 4, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature. On a 5 or higher, put two +1/+1 counters on it. On a 1, remove all +1/+1 counters from this creature.
Creature - Brainiac
Inhumaniac (ust) 59
Knight of the Kitchen Sink
First strike, protection from loose lips (Nothing with an open mouth in its artwork can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)
Creature Artifact - Knight Cyborg
Knight of the Kitchen Sink (ust) 12c
Meddling Kids
As this creature enters, choose a word with four or more letters.
Spells with the chosen word in their text box can't be cast.
Creature - Human Child
Meddling Kids (unh) 118
Ninja
You may activate this card's augment ability any time you could cast an instant.
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player,
Augment
(
, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as—oh, never mind.)
Creature - Ninja
Ninja (ust) 61
Ol' Buzzbark
When Ol' Buzzbark enters, roll X six-sided dice onto the battlefield from a height of at least X inches. For each die, put a number of +1/+1 counters equal to the result on each creature you control that die is touching. For each die, Ol' Buzzbark deals damage equal to the result to each creature an opponent controls that die is touching.
Legendary Creature - Goblin Warrior
Ol' Buzzbark (ust) 134
Old-Fashioned Vampire
Flying
This creature gets +2/+2 and has deathtouch as long as it's dark outdoors.
Creature - Vampyre
Old-Fashioned Vampire (ust) 62
Three-Headed Goblin
Triple strike (This creature deals first-strike, regular, and last-strike combat damage.)
Creature - Goblin Mutant
Three-Headed Goblin (ust) 99
Urza's Science Fair Project
: Roll a six-sided die. This creature gets the indicated result.
1 — It gets -2/-2 until end of turn.
2 — Prevent all combat damage it would deal this turn.
3 — It gains vigilance until end of turn.
4 — It gains first strike until end of turn.
5 — It gains flying until end of turn.
6 — It gets +2/+2 until end of turn.
Creature Artifact - Construct
Urza's Science Fair Project (ugl) 83

Creature

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Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle
As this artifact enters, you and an opponent each secretly choose Whack or Doodle. Then those choices are revealed. If the choices match, this artifact has that ability. Otherwise, it has Buzz.
• Whack —
: Target player loses 2 life.
• Doodle —
: You gain 3 life.
• Buzz —
,
: Draw a card.
Artifact
Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle (ust) 141
Ineffable Blessing
As this enchantment enters, choose white-bordered or silver-bordered.
Whenever a creature you control with the chosen border enters, draw a card.
Enchantment
Ineffable Blessing (ust) 113c
Necro-Impotence
Skip your untap step.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay X life. If you do, untap X permanents.
Pay ½ life: Exile the top card of your library face down. Put that card into your hand at the beginning of the next end step.
Enchantment
Necro-Impotence (unh) 60
Spy Eye
Flying
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card from that player's library.
Creature - Spy Eye
Spy Eye (ust) 46
Yet Another Aether Vortex
All creatures have haste.
Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.
Enchantment
Yet Another Aether Vortex (und) 60

Draw

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Cramped Bunker
At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, that player moves a permanent they control to touch this enchantment and no other permanents. If the player can't, destroy each permanent they control that isn't touching this enchantment, then sacrifice it.
Enchantment
Cramped Bunker (ust) 129
Topsy Turvy
The phases of each player's turn are reversed. (The phases are, in reverse order, ending, second main, combat, first main, and beginning.)
As long as there are more than two players in the game, the turn order is reversed.
Enchantment
Topsy Turvy (und) 29
Wordmail
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name.
Enchantment - Aura
Wordmail (unh) 22

Enchantment

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Baron Von Count
Baron Von Count enters with a doom counter on "5."
Whenever you cast a spell with the indicated numeral in its mana cost, text box, power, or toughness, move the doom counter one numeral to the left.
When the doom counter moves from "1," destroy target player and put that doom counter on "5."
Legendary Creature - Human Villain
Baron Von Count (ust) 127
Gleemax
You choose all targets for all spells and abilities.
Legendary Artifact
Gleemax (unh) 121
Infinity Elemental
(This creature has INFINITE POWER.)
Creature - Elemental
Infinity Elemental (ust) 88
The Cheese Stands Alone
When you control no permanents other than The Cheese Stands Alone and have no cards in hand, you win the game.
Enchantment
The Cheese Stands Alone (ugl) 2

Finisher

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More or Less
Add or subtract 1 or one from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn.
Instant
More or Less (ust) 40

Instant

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Blood Crypt
(
: Add
or
.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.
Land - Swamp Mountain
Blood Crypt (unf) 279
City of Ass
This land enters tapped.
: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.
Land
City of Ass (unh) 134
Forest
(
: Add
.)
Basic Land - Forest
Forest (unf) 244
Island
(
: Add
.)
Basic Land - Island
Island (unf) 241
Mountain
(
: Add
.)
Basic Land - Mountain
Mountain (unf) 243
Plains
(
: Add
.)
Basic Land - Plains
Plains (unf) 240
R&D's Secret Lair
Play cards as written. Ignore all errata.
: Add
. (This mana is still added to your mana pool.)
Legendary Land
R&D's Secret Lair (unh) 135
Swamp
(
: Add
.)
Basic Land - Swamp
Swamp (unf) 242
Underdome
: Add
.
: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.
Land
Underdome (und) 86

Land

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Rules Lawyer
State-based actions don't apply to you or other permanents you control. (You don't lose the game due to having 0 or less life or drawing from an empty library. Your creatures aren't destroyed due to damage or deathtouch and aren't put into a graveyard due to having 0 or less toughness. Your planeswalkers aren't put into a graveyard if they have 0 loyalty. You don't put a legendary permanent into a graveyard if you control two with the same name. Counters aren't removed from your permanents due to game rules. Permanents you control attached or combined illegally remain on the battlefield. For complete rules and regulations, see rule 704.)
Creature Artifact - Advisor Cyborg
Rules Lawyer (ust) 20

Protection

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Success!
Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn. If it's a host or has augment, it gains lifelink until end of turn.
Instant
Success! (ust) 24

Pump

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Blacker Lotus
: Tear this artifact into pieces. Add four mana of any one color. Remove the pieces from the game.
Artifact
Blacker Lotus (ugl) 70
Bronze Calendar
Spells you cast cost
less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice this artifact.
Artifact
Bronze Calendar (und) 76
Cheap Ass
Spells you cast cost
less to cast.
Creature - Townsfolk Donkey
Cheap Ass (unh) 5
Jack-in-the-Mox
: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.
1 — Sacrifice this artifact and you lose 5 life.
2 — Add
.
3 — Add
.
4 — Add
.
5 — Add
.
6 — Add
.
Artifact
Jack-in-the-Mox (und) 78
Land Aid '04
Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. If you sang a song the whole time you were searching and shuffling, you may untap that land.
Sorcery
Land Aid '04 (unh) 102
Mana Screw
: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add
. Activate only as an instant.
Artifact
Mana Screw (unh) 123
Mox Lotus
: Add
.
: Add one mana of any color.
Artifact
Mox Lotus (unh) 124
Selfie Preservation
Search your library for a basic land card and reveal it. If there's a tree in its art, put it onto the battlefield tapped. Otherwise, put it into your hand. Then shuffle.
Sorcery
Selfie Preservation (ust) 119
Surgeon General Commander
Whenever you augment, enchant, or mutate a creature you control, draw a card.
: Add
,
,
,
, or
.
Legendary Creature - Bat Wombat Chameleon
Surgeon General Commander (und) 72
Timmy, Power Gamer
: You may put a creature card from your hand onto the battlefield.
Legendary Creature - Human Gamer
Timmy, Power Gamer (und) 73

Ramp

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Amateur Auteur
Sacrifice this creature: Destroy target enchantment.
Creature - Human
Amateur Auteur (ust) 3d
capital offense
target creature gets -x/-x until end of turn, where x is the number of times a capital letter appears in its rules text. (ignore reminder text and flavor text.)
instant
capital offense (ust) 52
Chaos Confetti
,
: Tear this artifact into pieces. Throw the pieces onto the battlefield from a distance of at least five feet. Destroy each permanent that a piece touches. Remove the pieces from the game.
Artifact
Chaos Confetti (ugl) 72
Entirely Normal Armchair
During your turn, if this card is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
: Return this artifact to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see this artifact.
, Sacrifice this artifact: Destroy target attacking creature.
Artifact
Entirely Normal Armchair (und) 77
GO TO JAIL
When this enchantment enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until this enchantment leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice this enchantment.
Enchantment
GO TO JAIL (ust) 8
Look at Me, I'm the DCI
Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)
Sorcery
Look at Me, I'm the DCI (und) 10
Oddly Uneven
Choose one —
• Destroy each creature with an odd number of words in its name. (Hyphenated words are one word.)
• Destroy each creature with an even number of words in its name.
Sorcery
Oddly Uneven (ust) 15
Slaying Mantis
Just a second (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can't move permanents.)
This creature enters by being thrown from a distance of at least three feet.
When this creature enters, it fights each creature an opponent controls that it touched as it entered.
Creature - Insect Wrestler
Slaying Mantis (ust) 122
Time Out
Roll a six-sided die. Put target nonland permanent into its owner's library just beneath the top X cards of that library, where X is the result.
Instant
Time Out (ust) 48
Who
Target player gains X life.
Instant
Who // What // When // Where // Why (und) 75

Removal

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Incoming!
Each player searches their library for any number of artifact, creature, enchantment, and/or land cards, puts them onto the battlefield, then shuffles.
Sorcery
Incoming! (ugl) 64

Sorcery

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Old Fogey
Phasing, cumulative upkeep
, echo
, fading 3, bands with other Dinosaurs, protection from Homarids, snow-covered plainswalk, flanking, rampage 2
Summon - Dinosaur
Old Fogey (und) 67

Summon

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Phoebe, Head of S.N.E.A.K.
Phoebe can't be blocked by creatures with flavor text.
: Phoebe permanently steals target creature's text box. (That creature loses all rules text, flavor text, and watermarks. This creature gains them.)
Legendary Creature - Human Spy
Phoebe, Head of S.N.E.A.K. (ust) 135

Theft

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Box of Free-Range Goblins
Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the result.
Sorcery
Box of Free-Range Goblins (ust) 77
Crow Storm
Create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.
Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn.)
Sorcery
Crow Storm (ust) 31
Earl of Squirrel
Squirrellink (Damage dealt by this creature also causes you to create that many 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens.)
Creature tokens you control are Squirrels in addition to their other creature types.
Other Squirrels you control get +1/+1.
Creature - Advisor Squirrel Noble
Earl of Squirrel (ust) 108
Squirrel Dealer
When this creature enters, ask a person outside the game "Do you like Squirrels?" If they do, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.
Creature - Bird Lizard Raccoon
Squirrel Dealer (ust) 123

Tokens

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"Ach! Hans, Run!"
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may say "Ach! Hans, run! It's the . . ." and the name of a creature card. If you do, search your library for a card with that name, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. That creature gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step.
Enchantment
"Ach! Hans, Run!" (unh) 116
Teacher's Pet
, Sacrifice this creature: Search your library for a card with augment, combine it with target host you control, then shuffle.
Creature - Bird Cat Scientist
Teacher's Pet (ust) 25

Tutor

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Deck Info

Deck stats

26 pips - 19 cards
17 mana - 14 cards
15 pips - 11 cards
14 mana - 11 cards
14 pips - 10 cards
17 mana - 14 cards
15 pips - 9 cards
16 mana - 13 cards
29 pips - 18 cards
19 mana - 16 cards
0 pips - 0 cards
4 mana - 3 cards
Card NameQtyOdds
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Deck extras (0)

Description

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