{"ops":[{"insert":"Hey everyone~! 🌿🤍📄✨\nThis deck is what happens when I decide the safest solution to missing triggers is to "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"remove the triggers."},{"insert":"\nAll of them.\nJasmine Boreal of the Seven has been placed in charge of a collection of creatures who have looked at the concept of a text box and politely declined to participate.\nWatchwolf is a 3/3.\nThat's it.\nLeatherback Baloth is a 4/5.\nThank you for coming.\nQuakestrider Ceratops is a 12/8 and apparently used every available character on the card to fit the numbers.\nThis is wonderful because Jasmine has exactly the management style these employees require. She taps for two mana specifically to cast creatures with no abilities, and creatures I control with no abilities can't be blocked by creatures with abilities.\nSo the opponent presents me with a beautiful legendary Dragon.\nFlying.\nWard.\nLifelink.\nThree paragraphs of rules text.\nA triggered ability.\nAn activated ability.\nA successful career.\nMy Watchwolf walks directly past it.\nSorry.\nToo qualified.\nMuraganda Petroglyphs then looks at every creature who failed the reading-comprehension portion of the interview and gives them +2/+2. Gaea's Anthem, Glorious Anthem, Wilt-Leaf Liege, Dictate of Heliod, and Collective Blessing continue increasing the numbers without committing the catastrophic mistake of teaching anybody a new skill.\nWe have standards here.\nBlackblade Reforged is particularly funny because the sword has the ability, not the idiot holding it. So I can strap an enormous pile of stats onto Isamaru, Sundial, Terrian, or the original completely textless Jasmine Boreal and they remain blissfully unaware that anything has changed.\nThe sword knows what it is doing.\nThe Dog does not need to.\nWhen we need more employees, Secure the Wastes makes Warriors, Saproling Migration makes Saprolings, Bestial Menace produces three different animals with absolutely no qualifications between them, and Increasing Devotion simply hires five Humans on the spot.\nNobody has an enters-the-battlefield trigger.\nNobody has an attack trigger.\nNobody has an upkeep trigger.\nNobody has a death trigger.\nNobody would recognize a triggered ability if it entered the room wearing a name tag.\nEventually the battlefield becomes a collection of enormous blank cardboard rectangles marching directly past all the complicated Commander creatures because those creatures made the fatal mistake of having rules text.\nThere are still removal spells.\nThere is still protection.\nThere is still card draw.\nThe deck actually functions.\nI have simply arranged for all of those things to happen "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"when I choose to cast or activate them"},{"insert":", instead of leaving little reminders scattered around the battlefield waiting to be forgotten.\nMastajina cannot miss his triggers.\nThere are no triggers.\nI have solved Magic: The Gathering. 🌿✨\n"}]}