Jokes • (WUBRG Commander deck) • Archidekt

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Commander

Size: 99

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Tkizzi

Playtester

Tkizzi

88 views

Commander

Size: 99

No deck tags

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Commander

Qty: 1 Price: $0.00

Surgeon General Commander

Whenever you augment, enchant, or mutate a creature you control, draw a card.

: Add

, or

Legendary Creature - Bat Wombat Chameleon

$---- $---- $----

Commander

(CTRL to add secondary)

Artifact

Qty: 1 Price: $0.35

Proper Laboratory Attire

Equipped creature gets +2/+1 and has protection from die rolls. (Nothing that lets a player roll a die can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to equipped creature.)
Equip

Artifact - Equipment

$0.35 $0.27 $0.15

Artifact

(CTRL to add secondary)

Augments

Qty: 15 Price: $4.55

As Luck Would Have It

Hexproof
Whenever you roll a die, put a number of luck counters on this enchantment equal to the result. Then if there are 100 or more luck counters on this enchantment, you win the game. (Count both rolls if you reroll a die.)

Enchantment

$---- $---- $----

Bat-

Flying
At the beginning of each end step, if an opponent lost 3 or more life this turn,
Augment

(

, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Creature - Bat

$0.35 $0.11 $0.20

Half-Kitten, Half-

Whenever you're dealt damage,
Augment

(

, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Creature - Cat

$0.35 $0.30 $0.15

Half-Orc, Half-

Trample
At the beginning of each end step, if an opponent was dealt damage this turn,
Augment

(

, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Creature - Warrior Orc

$0.35 $0.15 $0.15

Half-Shark, Half-

At the beginning of your upkeep,
Augment

(

, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Creature - Shark

$0.35 $0.23 $0.15

Half-Squirrel, Half-

Whenever a nontoken creature enters,
Augment

(

, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Creature - Squirrel

$0.35 $0.17 $0.15

Humming-

Flying
Whenever you attack with two or more creatures,
Augment

(

, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Creature - Bird

$0.35 $0.11 $0.15

Monkey-

Whenever a nontoken creature you control dies,
Augment

(

, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Creature - Monkey

$0.35 $0.18 $0.15

Multi-Headed

At the beginning of each end step, if you rolled a die this turn,
Augment

(

, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Creature - Hydra

$0.35 $0.12 $0.15

Ninja

You may activate this card's augment ability any time you could cast an instant.
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player,
Augment

(

, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as—oh, never mind.)

Creature - Ninja

$0.35 $0.13 $0.15

Rhino-

Whenever this creature blocks,
Augment

(

, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Creature - Rhino

$0.35 $0.21 $0.15

Robo-

At the beginning of each end step, if an artifact entered the battlefield under your control this turn,
Augment

(

, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Creature Artifact - Construct

$0.35 $0.13 $0.15

Serpentine

Landfall — Whenever a land you control enters,
Augment

(

, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Creature - Wurm

$---- $---- $----

Steam-Powered

:
Augment

(

, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Creature Artifact - Construct

$0.35 $0.22 $0.15

Zombified

: Combine this card from your graveyard with target host.

, Exile a creature card from your graveyard:
Augment

(

, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Creature - Zombie

$0.35 $0.13 $0.15

Augments

(CTRL to add secondary)

Creature

Qty: 6 Price: $4.17

Assquatch

Each other Donkey gets +1½/+1½.
Whenever another Donkey enters, untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn.

Creature - Donkey

$2.29 $2.28 $1.55

Avatar of Me

This spell costs

more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.
Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.
Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

Creature - Avatar

$---- $---- $----

Clam-I-Am

If you roll a 3 on a six-sided die, you may reroll that die.

Creature - Clamfolk

$0.35 $0.28 $0.19

Dumb Ass

At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, target opponent chooses whether this creature attacks this turn.

Creature - Barbarian Donkey

$0.69 $0.29 $0.15

Fat Ass

This creature gets +2/+2 and has trample as long as you're eating. (Gum isn't food. We checked.)

Creature - Shaman Donkey

$0.49 $0.41 $0.15

Smart Ass

Whenever this creature attacks, choose a card name. If defending player has no cards with the chosen name in their hand, they may reveal their hand. If they don't reveal their hand, this creature can't be blocked this turn.

Creature - Wizard Donkey

$0.35 $0.19 $0.15

Creature

(CTRL to add secondary)

Hosts

Qty: 20 Price: $6.65

Adorable Kitten

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

Host Creature - Cat

$0.35 $0.23 $0.18

Angelic Rocket

Flying
When this creature enters, you may destroy target nonland permanent.

Host Creature Artifact - Angel

$---- $---- $----

Bad Ass

, Growl: Regenerate this creature.

Creature - Zombie Donkey

$0.35 $0.27 $0.15

Big Boa Constrictor

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. Target opponent loses life equal to the result.

Host Creature - Snake

$0.35 $0.07 $0.15

Bumbling Pangolin

When this creature enters, you may destroy target artifact.

Host Creature - Beast Pangolin

$0.35 $0.09 $0.15

Common Iguana

When this creature enters, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.

Host Creature - Lizard

$0.35 $0.10 $0.15

Dirty Rat

When this creature enters, target opponent discards a card.

Host Creature - Rat

$0.35 $0.22 $0.15

Eager Beaver

When this creature enters, you may untap target permanent.

Host Creature - Beaver

$0.35 $0.08 $0.15

Feisty Stegosaurus

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature deals damage equal to the result to target creature an opponent controls.

Host Creature - Dinosaur

$0.35 $0.08 $0.15

Gnome-Made Engine

When this creature enters, create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.

Host Creature Artifact - Construct

$0.35 $0.08 $0.15

Growth Spurt

Roll a six-sided die. Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.

Instant

$0.35 $0.14 $0.15

Labro Bot

When this creature enters, return target host card or card with augment from your graveyard to your hand.

Host Creature Artifact - Dog

$0.35 $0.17 $0.15

Mer Man

When this creature enters, you may draw a card.

Host Creature - Human Fish

$0.35 $0.13 $0.15

Mother Kangaroo

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. Put a number of +1/+1 counters on this creature equal to the result.

Host Creature - Kangaroo

$0.35 $0.16 $0.15

Numbing Jellyfish

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. Target player mills X cards, where X is the result.

Host Creature - Jellyfish

$0.35 $0.11 $0.15

Ordinary Pony

When this creature enters, you may exile target non-Horse creature you control that wasn't put onto the battlefield with this ability this turn, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control.

Host Creature - Horse

$0.35 $0.21 $0.15

Shaggy Camel

When this creature enters, creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.

Host Creature - Camel

$0.35 $0.06 $0.15

Stinging Scorpion

When this creature enters, target creature an opponent controls gets -1/-1 until end of turn.

Host Creature - Scorpion

$0.35 $0.08 $0.15

Voracious Vacuum

When this creature enters, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.

Host Creature Artifact - Construct

$0.35 $0.13 $0.15

Wild Crocodile

When this creature enters, search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Host Creature - Crocodile

$0.35 $0.15 $0.15

Hosts

(CTRL to add secondary)

Instant

Qty: 1 Price: $0.35

Success!

Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn. If it's a host or has augment, it gains lifelink until end of turn.

Instant

$0.35 $0.06 $0.15

Instant

(CTRL to add secondary)

Land

Qty: 40 Price: $66.83

City of Ass

This land enters tapped.

: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

Land

$44.99 $47.31 $33.95

Forest

(

: Add

Basic Land - Forest

$0.49 $0.25 $0.15

Island

(

: Add

Basic Land - Island

$0.49 $0.22 $0.15

Mountain

(

: Add

Basic Land - Mountain

$0.49 $0.17 $0.15

Plains

(

: Add

Basic Land - Plains

$0.49 $0.17 $0.15

R&D's Secret Lair

Play cards as written. Ignore all errata.

: Add

. (This mana is still added to your mana pool.)

Legendary Land

$3.99 $3.23 $2.38

Secret Base

: Add

: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell that shares a watermark with this land.

Land

$0.35 $0.15 $0.15

Swamp

(

: Add

Basic Land - Swamp

$0.49 $0.29 $0.15

Underdome

: Add

: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Land

$0.35 $0.13 $0.15

Watermarket

: Add

. Spend this mana only to cast spells with watermarks.

Land

$---- $---- $----

Land

(CTRL to add secondary)

Ramp

Qty: 1 Price: $0.49

Cheap Ass

Spells you cast cost

less to cast.

Creature - Townsfolk Donkey

$0.49 $0.28 $0.15

Ramp

(CTRL to add secondary)

Recursion

Qty: 1 Price: $0.35

Strutting Turkey

When this creature enters,
exile target creature card with mana value 2 or less from your graveyard. If it has augment, combine it with a host you control. Otherwise, put it onto the battlefield.

Host Creature - Bird

$0.35 $0.17 $0.15

Recursion

(CTRL to add secondary)

Removal

Qty: 5 Price: $1.93

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Instant

$0.35 $0.23 $0.15

Common Courtesy

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice this enchantment.

Enchantment

$0.39 $0.29 $0.18

Really Epic Punch

Target creature you control gets +2/+2 if it's a host or has augment. Then it fights target creature you don't control.

Sorcery

$0.35 $0.08 $0.15

Strategy, Schmategy

Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.
1 — Do nothing.
2 — Destroy all artifacts.
3 — Destroy all lands.
4 — Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.
5 — Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.
6 — Repeat this process two more times.

Sorcery

$0.49 $0.30 $0.27

Time Out

Roll a six-sided die. Put target nonland permanent into its owner's library just beneath the top X cards of that library, where X is the result.

Instant

$0.35 $0.10 $0.15

Removal

(CTRL to add secondary)

Sorcery

Qty: 2 Price: $0.35

Better Than One

A person outside the game becomes your teammate. (Choose any number of cards in your hand, on top of your library, or on the battlefield under your control. Those cards become your teammate's hand, library, and permanents, respectively.)

Sorcery

$---- $---- $----

Hammer Helper

Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature and roll a six-sided die. Until end of turn, it gains haste and gets +X/+0, where X is the result.

Sorcery

$0.35 $0.09 $0.15

Sorcery

(CTRL to add secondary)

Tokens

Qty: 2 Price: $0.35

Box of Free-Range Goblins

Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the result.

Sorcery

$0.35 $0.19 $0.15

Sword of Dungeons & Dragons

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.
Equip

Artifact - Equipment

$---- $---- $----

Tokens

(CTRL to add secondary)

Tutor

Qty: 4 Price: $1.39

Clever Combo

Search your library for a host card or a card with augment, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Sorcery

$0.35 $0.19 $0.15

Dr. Julius Jumblemorph

Dr. Julius Jumblemorph is every creature type (even if this card isn't on the battlefield).
Whenever a host you control enters, you may search your library and/or graveyard for a card with augment and combine it with that host. If you search your library this way, shuffle.

Legendary Creature

$---- $---- $----

Goblin Tutor

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
2 — A card named Goblin Tutor
3 — An enchantment
4 — An artifact
5 — A creature
6 — An instant or sorcery

Instant

$0.69 $0.50 $0.46

Teacher's Pet

, Sacrifice this creature: Search your library for a card with augment, combine it with target host you control, then shuffle.

Creature - Bird Cat Scientist

$0.35 $0.14 $0.15

Tutor

(CTRL to add secondary)

Deck Info

Deck size: 99Est cost: $87.76

Color Cost & Production

Avg Mana Value: 2.56Total Mana Value: 151.00

Quantity of

Artifact

Augments

Commander

Creature

Hosts

Instant

Land

Ramp

Recursion

Removal

Sorcery

Tokens

Tutor

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Deck stats

Cost

Production

Cost

10 pips - 10 cards

Production

11 mana - 11 cards

Cost

9 pips - 7 cards

Production

11 mana - 11 cards

Cost

5 pips - 4 cards

Production

11 mana - 11 cards

Cost

10 pips - 9 cards

Production

11 mana - 11 cards

Cost

11 pips - 11 cards

Production

11 mana - 11 cards

Cost

0 pips - 0 cards

Production

5 mana - 4 cards

Avg Mana Value: 2.56Total Mana Value: 151.00

Mana curve by

White Spells

Blue Spells

Black Spells

Red Spells

Green Spells

Colorless Spells

Probability of draw

card(s) by

having drawn

card(s)

CategoriesQtyOdds

Quantity of

Artifact

Augments

Commander

Creature

Hosts

Instant

Land

Ramp

Recursion

Removal

Sorcery

Tokens

Tutor

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Description

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