Amateur Auteur

Sacrifice Amateur Auteur: Destroy target enchantment.

Moniker Mage

{U}, Say your middle name: Moniker Mage gains shroud until end of turn.
{U}, Say an opponent's middle name: Moniker Mage gains flying until end of turn.

Shellephant

{0}: Choose one. You may activate this ability while Shellephant is in any zone.
• Shellephant has base power and toughness 1/4.
• Shellephant has base power and toughness 3/3.

Domesticated Mammoth

Domesticated Mammoth enters with a token copy of Pacifism attached to it.

Chimney Goyf

Flying
Chimney Goyf's power is equal to the number of card types among cards in all graveyards and its toughness is equal to that number plus 1.
When Chimney Goyf dies, target opponent puts a card from their hand on top of their library.

Stone-Cold Basilisk

Whenever Stone-Cold Basilisk blocks or becomes blocked by a creature with fewer letters in its name, destroy that creature at end of combat. (Punctuation and spaces aren't letters.)
Whenever an opponent reads Stone-Cold Basilisk, that player is turned to stone until end of turn. Stoned players can't attack, block, cast spells, or activate abilities.

Celestine Cave Witch

When Celestine Cave Witch enters, create two 1/1 black Insect creature tokens.
Whenever Celestine Cave Witch attacks, you may sacrifice an Insect. When you do, curse defending player. (Create a black Aura Curse enchantment token that's attached to that player. It has enchant player and "At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 1 life.")

Cardpecker

Flying
Gotcha — If an opponent touches the table with their hand, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Cardpecker from your graveyard to your hand.

Nira, Hellkite Duelist

Flash
Flying, trample, haste
When Nira, Hellkite Duelist enters, the next time you would lose the game this turn, instead draw three cards and your life total becomes 5.

Princess Luna

Flying
When this creature transforms into Princess Luna, choose up to six cards you own from outside the game with a moon in their art, then exile those cards. As long as those cards remain exiled, you may cast them, and your friends may cast them with your permission. (Gifts are appreciated.)

Nightmare Moon

Flying
As long as it's nighttime, Nightmare Moon gets +2/+2 and has menace.
{6}: Transform Nightmare Moon. Anypony may activate this ability or help pay the cost. When they do, they become your friend.

Nightmare Moon // Princess Luna

Riveting Rigger

When Riveting Rigger enters, you may sacrifice another artifact. If you do, put two +1/+1 counters on Riveting Rigger and it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Spike, Tournament Grinder

({B/P} can be paid with either {B} or 2 life.)
{B/P}{B/P}{B/P}{B/P}: Reveal a card you own from outside the game that has been banned or restricted in a Constructed format and put it into your hand.

Knight of the Kitchen Sink

First strike, protection from even collector numbers (Nothing with an even collector number can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Personal Decoy

Personal Decoy enters with a number of loyalty counters on it equal to your life total. If it would leave the battlefield, exile it instead of putting it anywhere else. You can't be attacked.
+1: You gain 1 life.
−4: Draw a card.

Hydradoodle

As Hydradoodle enters, roll X six-sided dice. Hydradoodle enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the total of those results.
Reach, trample

Baron Von Count

Baron Von Count enters with a doom counter on "5."
Whenever you cast a spell with the indicated numeral in its mana cost, text box, power, or toughness, move the doom counter one numeral to the left.
When the doom counter moves from "1," destroy target player and put that doom counter on "5."

Ruff, Underdog Champ

All Hounds are Dogs. (We'll errata this to be true.)
First strike, lifelink
Underdog — If you've lost a game this match, Ruff, Underdog Champ and other Dogs you control get +1/+1.

Urza's Science Fair Project

{2}: Roll a six-sided die. Urza's Science Fair Project gets the indicated result.
1 — It gets -2/-2 until end of turn.
2 — Prevent all combat damage it would deal this turn.
3 — It gains vigilance until end of turn.
4 — It gains first strike until end of turn.
5 — It gains flying until end of turn.
6 — It gets +2/+2 until end of turn.

Three-Headed Goblin

Triple strike (This creature deals first-strike, regular, and last-strike combat damage.)

Fruitcake Elemental

Fruitcake Elemental is indestructible.
At the end of your turn, Fruitcake Elemental deals 7 damage to you.
{3}: Target player gains control of Fruitcake Elemental.

The Big Idea

{2}{B/R}{B/R}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Brainiac creature tokens equal to the result.
Tap three untapped Brainiacs you control: The next time you would roll a six-sided die, instead roll two six-sided dice and use the total of those results.

Five Kids in a Trenchcoat

Five Kids in a Trenchcoat counts as five creatures for spells and effects that count the number of creatures you control.

Goblin Bookie

{R}, {T}: Reflip any coin or reroll any die. (Activate only any time it makes sense.)

Lazier Goblin

Motivate {3}{R} (This creature can't attack or block unless you have paid its motivate cost once. Motivate only as a sorcery.)
When Lazier Goblin enters, it deals 2 damage to any target.

Hurloon Wrangler

Denimwalk (This creature can't be blocked as long as defending player is wearing denim.)

Magical Hacker

{U}: Change the text of target spell or permanent by replacing all instances of + with -, and vice versa, until end of turn.

Garbage Elemental

Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)
Battalion — Whenever Garbage Elemental and at least two other creatures attack, target creature can't block this turn.

Lexivore

Whenever Lexivore deals damage to a player, destroy target permanent other than Lexivore with the most lines of text in its text box. (If two or more cards are tied, target any one of them.)

Smart Ass

Whenever Smart Ass attacks, choose a card name. If defending player has no cards with the chosen name in their hand, they may reveal their hand. If they don't reveal their hand, Smart Ass can't be blocked this turn.

Togglodyte

Togglodyte enters turned on.
Whenever a player casts a spell, toggle Togglodyte's ON/OFF switch.
As long as Togglodyte is turned off, it can't attack or block, and prevent all damage it would deal.

Blurry Beeble

Blurry (This creature can be blocked only if defending player was wearing glasses as it was cast.)
Whenever Blurry Beeble deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card.

Dungeon Master

+1: Target opponent creates a 1/1 black Skeleton creature token with "When this creature dies, each opponent gains 2 life."
+1: Roll a d20. If you roll a 1, skip your next turn. If you roll a 12 or higher, draw a card.
−6: You get an adventuring party. (Your party is a 3/3 red Fighter with first strike, a 1/1 white Cleric with lifelink, a 2/2 black Rogue with hexproof, and a 1/1 blue Wizard with flying.)

Weaponized Scrap

Upgrade (This creature enters covering another artifact you control. If it can't, exile it. Ignore the artifact it's covering. Anywhere this card goes, cards underneath it also go. It has haste.)

Spy Eye

Flying
Whenever Spy Eye deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card from that player's library.

Rocket-Powered Turbo Slug

Super haste (This may attack the turn before you cast it. (You may put this card from your hand onto the battlefield tapped and attacking during your declare attackers step. If you do, you lose the game at the beginning of your next turn's end step unless you pay this card's mana cost during that turn.))

Earl of Squirrel

Squirrellink (Damage dealt by this creature also causes you to create that many 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens.)
Creature tokens you control are Squirrels in addition to their other creature types.
Other Squirrels you control get +1/+1.

Creature Guy

Gotcha — If an opponent says "creature" or "guy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Creature Guy from your graveyard to your hand.

Fat Ass

Fat Ass gets +2/+2 and has trample as long as you're eating. (Gum isn't food. We checked.)

Princess Twilight Sparkle

Flying
Other Alicorns, Horses, Pegasi, Ponies, and Unicorns you control get +1/+1.
{W}{U}{B}{R}{G}: If you control Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity, everypony wins the game.

Goblin Bowling Team

If Goblin Bowling Team would deal damage to a permanent or player, it deals that much damage plus the result of a six-sided die roll to that permanent or player instead.

Lightning Colt

When Lightning Colt enters, it deals 3 damage to any target.

Druid of the Sacred Beaker

{T}: Add {G} for each Crossbreed Labs watermark among permanents you control.

Clambassadors

Whenever Clambassadors deals damage to a player, choose an artifact, creature, or land you control. That player gains control of that permanent.

Laughing Hyena

Gotcha — If an opponent laughs, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Laughing Hyena from your graveyard to your hand.

Ladies' Knight

Flying
Spells cast by players wearing at least one item of women's clothing cost {1} less to cast. (You can define women's clothing as you see fit. Be reasonable.)

Goblin Mime

Jasconian Isle

(Jasconian Isle isn't a spell, it's affected by summoning sickness, it's blue, and it has "{T}: Add {U}.")
Jasconian Isle enters tapped.
Jasconian Isle doesn't untap during your untap step.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay {U}{U}. If you do, untap Jasconian Isle.

Learned Learner

As long as you have a maximum hand size other than 7, Learned Learner has "{T}: Draw a card."

Monkey Monkey Monkey

As Monkey Monkey Monkey enters, choose a letter.
Monkey Monkey Monkey gets +1/+1 for each nonland permanent whose name begins with the chosen letter.

Cyclopean Titan

When Cyclopean Titan dies, two target lands become Swamps. Exile Cyclopean Titan.
{3}, {T}: Tap target creature, then return Cyclopean Titan to its owner's hand.

Frenemy of the Guildpact

Protection from enemy-colored multicolored (This creature can't be blocked, targeted, dealt damage, enchanted, or equipped by anything that's two enemy colors, such as blue and green.)

Baneslayer Aspirant

Baneslayer Aspirant gets +3/+3 and has flying, first strike, and lifelink as long as you have one or more emblems.

Double Header

Flying
When Double Header enters, you may return target permanent with a two-word name to its owner's hand.

Khod, Etlan Shiis Envoy

All lands are Islands in addition to their other types.
Other Homarids, Camarids, Cephalids, Nautilids, and Merfolk you control get +1/+1.

Zyym, Mesmeric Lord

Flying, deathtouch
When Zyym, Mesmeric Lord enters the battlefield, target opponent chooses an order for the cards in their hand, then reveals them one by one until you say stop. That player then discards the most recently revealed card.

Steel Squirrel

Whenever you roll a 5 or higher on a die, Steel Squirrel gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Control Win Condition

This spell can't be countered.
Shroud
Control Win Condition's power and toughness are each equal to the number of turns you've taken this game. (If this is in your deck, please keep track of your turns. This means you, Mark.)

Fraction Jackson

{G}, {T}: Return target card with a ½ on it from your graveyard to your hand.

Emcee

Whenever another creature enters, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.

Keeper of the Sacred Word

As Keeper of the Sacred Word enters, choose a word.
Whenever an opponent says the chosen word, Keeper of the Sacred Word gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

Red Herring

{1}{U}: Exchange Red Herring from your hand with a permanent you control on the battlefield or a spell you control on the stack. If that permanent or spell was the target of a spell or ability, change that target to Red Herring.

Puresteel Angel

Flying, indestructible
When Puresteel Angel enters, exile all artifacts that aren't colorless.
Whenever Puresteel Angel deals combat damage to a player, you get an emblem with "If you would lose the game, instead your life total becomes 20, shuffle your graveyard into your library, you lose all poison counters, and you lose this emblem."

_____

{1}: This card's name becomes the card name of your choice. Activate anywhere, anytime.

Grusilda, Monster Masher

Combined, enchanted, and equipped creatures you control have menace.
{3}{B}{R}, {T}: Put two target creature cards from graveyards onto the battlefield combined into one creature under your control. (Its power is equal to their total power, its toughness is equal to their total toughness, and it has their names, mana costs, types, text boxes, etc.)

Recycla-bird

Flying
When Recycla-bird dies, put a flying counter on target creature you control.

Deadhead

{0}: Return Deadhead from your graveyard to the battlefield. Activate only if an opponent isn't touching their hand (of cards).

Inzerva, Master of Insights

+2: Draw two cards, then discard a card.
−2: Look at the top two cards of each other player's library, then put any number of them on the bottom of that library and the rest on top in any order. Scry 2.
−4: You get an emblem with "Your opponents play with their hands revealed" and "Whenever an opponent draws a card, this emblem deals 1 damage to them."

M'Odo, the Gnarled Oracle

Eminence — {X}, Discard a card: Target player reveals cards from the top of their library until they reveal a creature card with converted mana cost X or less. Put that card onto the battlefield under your control, then that player shuffles the rest into their library. Activate this ability only if M'Odo, the Gnarled Oracle is on the battlefield or in the command zone.

Vile Bile

Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches Vile Bile, that player loses 2 life.

Little Girl

Party Crasher

Haste
You can attack with Party Crasher once each combat during each opponent's turn.

Chronobot

When Chronobot enters, switch upkeep steps with target opponent for as long as it remains on the battlefield. (You take your upkeep on their turn, and they take their upkeep on your turn.)

Dumb Ass

At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, target opponent chooses whether Dumb Ass attacks this turn.

Frogkin Kidnapper

When Frogkin Kidnapper enters, target opponent reveals their hand. Choose a nonland card from it. Ransom that card. (Exile it. Its owner may pay {3} at any time to return it to their hand.)

Urza, Academy Headmaster

+1: Head to AskUrza.com and click +1.
−1: Head to AskUrza.com and click -1.
−6: Head to AskUrza.com and click -6.

Bloodletter

When the names of three or more nonland permanents begin with the same letter, sacrifice Bloodletter. If you do, it deals 2 damage to each creature and each player.

Artful Looter

{T}: Draw a card, then discard a card.
Whenever a permanent that shares an artist with another permanent you control enters, untap Artful Looter.

Swarm of Locus

Flying
Whenever Swarm of Locus attacks, it gets +1/+0 until end of turn for each Locus you control.

Vazal, the Compleat

Megalegendary (Your deck can have only one copy of this card.)
Vigilance, trample
Vazal, the Compleat has the activated abilities of all other permanents on the battlefield.

Toy Boat

Cumulative upkeep—Say "Toy Boat" quickly. (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on Toy Boat, then sacrifice it unless you say "Toy Boat" once for each age counter on it—without pausing between or fumbling it.)

Visitor from Planet Q

All creature cards you own with flash are instants in addition to their other types.
Whenever you cast another spell with two or more card types, you may draw a card, then discard a card.

Brushstroke Paintermage

{T}: Target permanent's artist becomes the artist of your choice until end of turn.

Our Market Research Shows That Players Like Really Long Card Names So We Made this Card to Have the Absolute Longest Card Name Ever Elemental

Art rampage 2 (Whenever this creature becomes blocked by a creature, it gets +2/+2 for each creature in the blocker's art beyond the first.)

Red-Hot Hottie

Whenever Red-Hot Hottie deals damage to a creature, put a third-degree-burn counter on that creature. It gains "At the beginning of each end step, sacrifice this creature unless you scream 'Aaah!' at the top of your lungs."

Target Minotaur

Prowess (Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.)

Man of Measure

As long as you're shorter than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +0/+1 and has first strike.
As long as you're taller than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +1/+0.

Frontier Explorer

{3}, {T}: Until end of turn, you may play one basic Plains card from outside the game.

Louvaq, the Aberrant

Protection from modified creatures (Modified creatures have a power, toughness, or ability different than their printed versions.)
At the beginning of each player's end step, you may put a +1/+1 counter on target creature that player controls.

Tainted Monkey

{T}: Choose a word. Target player mills a card. If a card with the chosen word in its text box was milled this way, they lose 3 life.

Zombie Fanboy

As Zombie Fanboy enters, choose an artist.
Whenever a permanent with art by the chosen artist is put into a graveyard, put two +1/+1 counters on Zombie Fanboy.

Stocking Tiger

Stocking Tiger enters with a sealed Magic booster pack under it.
When Stocking Tiger deals combat damage to a player, unwrap the booster pack and put it into your hand.

Sliv-Mizzet, Hivemind

Slivers you control have flying and "Whenever you draw a card, this creature deals 1 damage to any target" and "{T}: Draw a card."

Plane-Merge Elf

Landship — At the beginning of your upkeep, you may look at the top card of your library. If it's a land, you may reveal it. If you do, create a 1/1 green Elf Warrior creature token.
Kinfall — Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, if it shares a creature type with Plane-Merge Elf, creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.

Bosom Buddy

Whenever you cast a spell, you may gain ½ life for each word in that spell's name.

Uktabi Kong

Trample
When Uktabi Kong enters, destroy all artifacts.
Tap two untapped Apes you control: Create a 1/1 green Ape creature token.

Krazy Kow

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If you a roll a 1, sacrifice Krazy Kow and it deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.

Innocuous Insect

Buyback {1}{U} (You may pay an additional {1}{U} as you cast this spell. If you do, put this card into your hand as it resolves.)
Flash
Flying
When you cast this spell, draw a card.

Metagamer

Cards in the winning deck(s) of the latest Mythic Championship cost {1} more to cast.

Bursting Beebles

Bursting Beebles can't be blocked as long as defending player controls two or more nonland permanents that share an artist.

Chandra, Gremlin Wrangler

+1: Create a 2/2 red Gremlin creature token.
−2: Chandra, Gremlin Wrangler deals X damage to target creature or player, where X is the number of Gremlins you control.