{"ops":[{"insert":"Turn 0 — Keruga +1"},{"attributes":{"header":1},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"The gimmick is "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Keruga +1"},{"insert":". Keruga normally says every nonland card in the deck has to cost 3 or more, so we took the restriction and made it worse: "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"every nonland card in the 99 costs 4 or more."},{"insert":" Glarb is the lone 3-drop because he starts in the command zone.\nThat is also about as much as the Rule 0 pitch needs. Tell the table, "},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"\"I took the worst companion restriction and made it worse. All my cards are going to be better than yours, because everything being 4+ means every card I play does MORE.\""},{"insert":"\nThat communicates that the silly restriction is attached to a very real deck without spoiling how it actually wins. The trade is simple: everybody else gets efficiency; we try to get "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"more card per cardboard"},{"insert":".\n\nTurn 1 — Make Turn 3 Exist"},{"attributes":{"header":1},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Mulligan any hand that cannot cast Glarb on turn 3. We need all three colors on time and have no cheap fixing to rescue ourselves later. If "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Leyline of Anticipation"},{"insert":" is in the opener, congratulations, one of our 4-drops played itself.\nOtherwise:\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Land. Pass."},{"insert":"\n\nTurn 2 — Menacingly Do (Almost) Nothing"},{"attributes":{"header":1},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Sometimes Keruga's restriction accidentally leaves us something funny to do here. "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Repudiate // Replicate"},{"insert":", alternate costs, and foretell can squeeze through before the deck is technically supposed to exist.\nThis is the turn for:\n"},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"\"YOU GUYS BETTER WATCH OUT FOR MY TURN TWO—\""},{"insert":"\nForetell... Okay, pass.\nMost games are still just "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"land, pass"},{"insert":".\n\nTurn 3 — Glarbin' Time"},{"attributes":{"header":1},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Cast "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Glarb, Calamity's Augur"},{"insert":".\nThis is effectively our turn 1.\nGlarb is what turns Keruga +1 from self-inflicted gunshot wound into an engine. Every spell in the 99 costs 4 or more, so every spell can be cast from the top of the library, while lands can be played from there normally. Playing or casting the top card reveals the next one, surveil clears cards we do not want, and shuffle effects give us a fresh look.\nThe restriction that deleted our first two turns now means the entire deck works with our commander.\nFor the moment, though, Glarb just resolved and has summoning sickness. If someone looks at you, bravely announce that you have a 2/4 with deathtouch. Oh, and don't forget to look at the top card of your library AS IS YOUR RIGHT! (I personally recommend doing it at a fraction of a second every time for comedic effect.)\n\nTurn 4 — Ketchup"},{"attributes":{"header":1},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Now we need to recover the tempo we intentionally threw away.\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Icetill Explorer"},{"insert":" is exactly what this deck wants from a 4-drop: an additional land each turn, lands playable from the graveyard, and mill attached to landfall. One card ramps us repeatedly while feeding several other parts of the deck.\nThis is also the first turn Glarb can tap, so after announcing Glarbin' Time last turn, we can finally "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Glarb all over the place"},{"insert":" and surveil 2.\nFrom here the deck stops following a strict script. What happens next depends on what the table is doing, but most games move through the same few packages.\n\nTurn 5—Shoot Some(Every)one"},{"attributes":{"header":1},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"We spent the opening turns allowing everybody else to develop, so eventually we need to erase some of that development.\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Culling Ritual"},{"insert":" is a good example. It clears cheap nonland permanents while missing our own board because nothing we play is cheap, then turns everything it destroyed into mana so we can keep going afterward.\nThat is the basic removal philosophy here. Our cards cost too much to be satisfied with trading one expensive piece of cardboard for one threat. We want removal that hits several things, advances our own game, or has another useful effect stapled to it.\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Trade silver bullets for silver bombs."},{"insert":"\n\nTurn 6 — Blue Someone's Head Shmoove Off"},{"attributes":{"header":1},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Once we have enough mana, passing with it untapped becomes part of the plan instead of evidence that our hand is terrible.\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Counterlash"},{"insert":" is the clean example. Six mana is a lot for a counterspell, but it does not just counter something; it can also turn the spell we stopped into an opportunity to cast one of our own cards for free.\nThe rest of this package follows the same principle. Counters protect the engine and stop game-ending plays, while flash lets us keep that mana available without wasting our turn. If somebody does something that matters, interact. If nobody does, develop at instant speed instead.\nThis is when draw-land-pass becomes threatening.\n\nTurn 7+ — Super Size Me"},{"attributes":{"header":1},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"By now the mana engine and Glarb should be feeding each other, and we can start turning oversized cards into several oversized cards.\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Aminatou's Augury"},{"insert":" is a good picture of what this stage looks like: spend one card, see a pile of new cardboard, and start casting portions of it without paying for them. Because our deck is intentionally packed with expensive, high-impact cards, cost-cheating and multi-card effects scale unusually well here.\nThis is the payoff for "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"more card per cardboard"},{"insert":". We gave up cheap cards, so the expensive cards need to ramp while milling, draw while developing, remove while generating resources, or turn one spell into several spells.\nIn the immortal words of Pimp My Ride: we heard you like value, so we put value in your value so you can get value while you get value.\n\nSurvey Says: KILL"},{"attributes":{"header":1},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Eventually we need to convert all that cardboard into an actual win.\nThe cleanest route is "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Omniscience"},{"insert":", and the normal tutor chain is:\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Waterlogged Teachings → Shared Summons → Rune-Scarred Demon → Omniscience"},{"insert":"\nThe line is useful because it stays flexible until late. Shared Summons can get the creatures the current board actually demands, and Rune-Scarred Demon does not reveal what it finds, so opponents know we found "},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"something"},{"insert":" without necessarily knowing the game is about to end.\nOnce Omniscience resolves, "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"this is when Keruga finally matters"},{"insert":".\nNormally, moving Keruga from the companion zone into our hand costs 3 mana, and then we would still have to pay five more to cast him. That is eight mana for a draw spell attached to a body, which is not what this deck wants to spend its time doing. So Keruga stays outside the game almost indefinitely unless we have been stripped of resources and desperately need the cards.\nOmniscience changes that equation. After it resolves, pay 3 to put Keruga into our hand, then "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"cast him for free"},{"insert":". Keruga enters after we have spent the entire game filling the battlefield with expensive permanents and draws a large new hand. Omniscience then makes that new hand free too.\nKeruga is not the engine and he is not generating the free value. "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Omniscience is the free-value engine; Keruga is the reload."},{"insert":"\nFrom there, "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Craterhoof Behemoth"},{"insert":" gives the accumulated board a way to end the game, with haste or extra-turn effects letting newly deployed creatures participate immediately.\n\nVibe Check"},{"attributes":{"header":1},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"The other finisher deserves its own warning label.\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Timesifter"},{"insert":" ranges from hilarious novelty to deeply salty depending on the pod, so get a feel for the table before using it. The deck can cast it surprisingly early and even protect it, but dropping what is effectively a one-card win on turn 5 with no buildup tends to make for a miserable game if everyone thought they were signing up for something slower.\nUsed as an actual finisher, however, Timesifter is extremely hard for most decks to fight fairly. Every spell we can reveal costs at least four, Glarb lets us see what is coming, and the deck has plenty of ways to play, surveil, mill, or shuffle away a bad top card.\nThis is not really a plan where probability eventually catches us. Either an opponent removes Timesifter, outplays our top manipulation, or does something extreme like putting an Eldrazi on top of their deck.\nOtherwise, we usually take another turn or two until we kill everyone or they scoop. The result is the same either way.\n\nThe Short Version"},{"attributes":{"header":1},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Turn 0:"},{"insert":" Reveal Keruga +1 and make it clear that \"I deliberately made my companion restriction worse\" does not mean the deck is weak.\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Turn 1:"},{"insert":" Mulligan for turn-3 Glarb, land, pass.\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Turn 2:"},{"insert":" Occasionally sneak in some tiny interaction or foretell something for comedy. Usually land, pass again.\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Turn 3:"},{"insert":" Glarbin' Time. Resolve the commander and turn the restriction into the engine.\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Turn 4:"},{"insert":" Catch up with repeatable ramp and start Glarbing all over the place.\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Turn 5:"},{"insert":" Use oversized removal to punish the cheap boards everyone built while we were doing nothing.\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Turn 6:"},{"insert":" Hold up counters and flash so we can interact without giving up development.\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Turn 7+:"},{"insert":" Cheat costs, chain high-impact cards, and let more card per cardboard start compounding.\nThen find Omniscience, bring Keruga in as the refill, and turn the resulting pile of cards into lethal—or use Timesifter as the finishing button when the pod is actually going to enjoy that game.\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"They get more ammo. We get better guns."},{"insert":"\n"}]}