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Commander
Whenever Carth enters or a planeswalker you control dies, look at the top seven cards of your library. You may reveal a planeswalker card from among them and put it into your hand. Put the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order. Planeswalkers' loyalty abilities you activate cost an additional [+1] to activate.
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Commander
Land
Land
Random Low Level Hoes
Whenever a creature you control dies, put a loyalty counter on Lolth. 0: You draw a card and you lose 1 life. −3: Create two 2/1 black Spider creature tokens with menace and reach. −8: You get an emblem with "Whenever an opponent is dealt combat damage by one or more creatures you control, if that player lost less than 8 life this turn, they lose life equal to the difference."
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Random Low Level Hoes
Artifact
At the beginning of your end step, if you didn't activate a loyalty ability of a planeswalker this turn, you lose 2 life. {4}, {T}: For each planeswalker you control, you may activate one of its loyalty abilities once this turn as though none of its loyalty abilities have been activated this turn.
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Artifact
Main Girl 1: Show name "Lily-Liscious"
+1: Search your library for a Swamp card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle. −3: Target creature gets +X/+X or -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of Swamps you control. −6: You get an emblem with "Swamps you control have '{T}: Add {B}{B}{B}{B}.'"
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Whenever a creature you control dies, draw a card. +1: Create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token. −4: Each player sacrifices two creatures of their choice. −9: Each opponent chooses a permanent they control of each permanent type and sacrifices the rest.
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+1: Each player discards a card. Each opponent who can't loses 3 life. −3: Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of cards in your graveyard. −7: You get an emblem with "At the beginning of combat on your turn, put target creature card from a graveyard onto the battlefield under your control. It gains haste."
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Magecraft — Whenever you cast or copy an instant or sorcery spell, each opponent loses 2 life and you gain 2 life. +1: You lose 1 life. Look at the top three cards of your library. Put one of them into your hand and the rest into your graveyard. −3: Each opponent sacrifices a creature with the greatest power among creatures that player controls. −8: Each opponent may discard a card. If they don't, they lose 3 life. Repeat this process six more times.
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Main Girl 1: Show name "Lily-Liscious"
Sorcery
Sorcery
Creature
Trample Agent Frank Horrigan has indestructible as long as it attacked this turn. Whenever Agent Frank Horrigan enters or attacks, proliferate twice. (To proliferate, choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)
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Partner with Toothy, Imaginary Friend (When this creature enters, target player may put Toothy into their hand from their library, then shuffle.) If one or more counters would be put on a permanent your team controls, that many plus one of each of those kinds of counters are put on that permanent instead.
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Trample, haste If you would put one or more counters on a permanent or player, put twice that many of each of those kinds of counters on that permanent or player instead. If an opponent would put one or more counters on a permanent or player, they put half that many of each of those kinds of counters on that permanent or player instead, rounded down.
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Protection from Humans Pay 1 life, Sacrifice another creature: Put a -1/-1 counter on up to one target creature and draw a card. {B}{B}, Discard a card: Proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)
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Creature
Main Girl 2: Show name "Miss Niss-ty"
Landfall — Whenever a land you control enters, put a loyalty counter on Nissa. +1: Untap target land you control. You may have it become a 3/3 Elemental creature with haste and menace until end of turn. It's still a land. −5: You may put a creature card with mana value less than or equal to the number of lands you control onto the battlefield from your hand or graveyard with two +1/+1 counters on it.
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Compleated ({G/P} can be paid with {G} or 2 life. For each {G/P} paid with life, this planeswalker enters with two fewer loyalty counters.) +1: Create an X/X green Phyrexian Horror creature token, where X is Nissa's loyalty. −1: Destroy target artifact or enchantment. −7: Until end of turn, creatures you control get +1/+1 for each Forest you control and gain trample.
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+2: Untap up to two target creatures and up to two target lands. −3: Target creature gets +5/+5 until end of turn. −10: Look at the top ten cards of your library. You may put any number of creature and/or land cards from among them onto the battlefield. Put the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.
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Landfall — Whenever a land you control enters, add one mana of any color. Then if this is the second time this ability has resolved this turn, reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal an Elf or Elemental card. Put that card into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.
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+1: Untap target land you control. Until your next turn, it becomes a 5/5 Elemental creature with haste. It's still a land. −3: Return target permanent card from your graveyard to your hand. −6: You get an emblem with "Whenever a land you control enters, you may draw a card."
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Whenever you tap a Forest for mana, add an additional {G}. +1: Put three +1/+1 counters on up to one target noncreature land you control. Untap it. It becomes a 0/0 Elemental creature with vigilance and haste that's still a land. −8: You get an emblem with "Lands you control have indestructible." Search your library for any number of Forest cards, put them onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.
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+1: Target land you control becomes a 4/4 Elemental creature with trample. It's still a land. +1: Untap up to four target Forests. −7: Search your library for any number of basic land cards, put them onto the battlefield, then shuffle. Those lands become 4/4 Elemental creatures with trample. They're still lands.
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Main Girl 2: Show name "Miss Niss-ty"
Enchantment
(Gain the next level as a sorcery to add its ability.) At the beginning of combat on your turn, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you control. {G}: Level 2 Permanents you control with counters on them have ward {1}. {3}{G}: Level 3 If you would put one or more counters on a permanent or player, put twice that many of each of those kinds of counters on that permanent or player instead.
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When Oath of Nissa enters, look at the top three cards of your library. You may reveal a creature, land, or planeswalker card from among them and put it into your hand. Put the rest on the bottom of your library in any order. You may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast planeswalker spells.
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Enchantment
Main Girl 3: Show name "Volumptuous V"
+2: You may sacrifice a creature. If you do, search your library for a creature card with mana value equal to 1 plus the sacrificed creature's mana value, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. +1: Mill five cards, then put any number of creature cards milled this way into your hand. −1: Create a 4/4 green Rhino Warrior creature token.
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+1: Look at the top four cards of your library. You may reveal a creature or land card from among them and put it into your hand. Put the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order. −3: Destroy target artifact, enchantment, or creature with flying. −8: You get an emblem with "Creatures you control get +2/+2 and have vigilance, trample, and indestructible."
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+1: Distribute two +1/+1 counters among up to two target creatures. They gain trample until end of turn. −3: Target creature you control deals damage equal to its power to target creature or planeswalker. −5: You may reveal a creature card you own from outside the game and put it into your hand.
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You may cast creature spells as though they had flash. +1: Until your next turn, up to one target creature gains vigilance and reach. −2: Look at the top three cards of your library. Exile one face down and put the rest on the bottom of your library in any order. For as long as it remains exiled, you may cast it if it's a creature spell.
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You may look at the top card of your library any time. You may cast creature spells from the top of your library. +1: Create a 3/3 green Beast creature token. Put your choice of a vigilance counter, a reach counter, or a trample counter on it. −2: When you next cast a creature spell this turn, search your library for a creature card with lesser mana value, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.
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+1: Put three +1/+1 counters on up to one target creature. −1: Reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a creature card. Put that card into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order. −6: Target creature gets +10/+10 and gains trample until end of turn.
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Main Girl 3: Show name "Volumptuous V"
Instant
Instant
Main Girl 4: Show name "Ms. Suckle N' Slither"
+1: Until your next turn, whenever a creature deals combat damage to Vraska, destroy that creature. −3: Destroy target nonland permanent. −7: Create three 1/1 black Assassin creature tokens with "Whenever this token deals combat damage to a player, that player loses the game."
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Compleated ({B/P} can be paid with {B} or 2 life. If life was paid, this planeswalker enters with two fewer loyalty counters.) 0: You draw a card and you lose 1 life. Proliferate. −2: Target creature becomes a Treasure artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color" and loses all other card types and abilities. −9: If target player has fewer than nine poison counters, they get a number of poison counters equal to the difference.
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+2: You may sacrifice another permanent. If you do, you gain 1 life and draw a card. −3: Destroy target nonland permanent with mana value 3 or less. −9: You get an emblem with "Whenever a creature you control deals combat damage to a player, that player loses the game."
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+2: Create a 2/2 black Pirate creature token with menace. −3: Destroy target artifact, creature, or enchantment. Create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.") −10: Target player's life total becomes 1.
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Deathtouch Whenever a nontoken creature an opponent controls dies, you may pay {1}. If you do, return that card to the battlefield tapped under your control. It's a Treasure artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color," and it loses all other card types.
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