City of Ass

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

Old Guard

{W}, {T}: Tap target creature without reminder text. (Reminder text is still any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Meddling Kids

As this creature enters, choose a word with four or more letters.
Spells with the chosen word in their text box can't be cast.

Modular Monstrosity

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you have five seconds to choose a keyword you haven't chosen for a card named Modular Monstrosity today that's been printed on a creature card. If you do, this creature gains that ability. Otherwise, this creature loses all keyword abilities.

Hot Fix

You have ten seconds to look at and rearrange the cards in your library. At the end of those ten seconds, if you're touching one or more of those cards, shuffle.

My First Tome

{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and they guessed wrong, you draw a card.

Blacker Lotus

{T}: Tear this artifact into pieces. Add four mana of any one color. Remove the pieces from the game.

Island

Miss Demeanor

Flying, first strike
At the beginning of each other player's upkeep, you may compliment that player on their game play. If you don't, sacrifice this creature.

Secret Base

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell that shares a watermark with this land.

Johnny, Combo Player

{4}: Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

Bursting Beebles

This creature can't be blocked as long as defending player controls two or more nonland permanents that share an artist.

Super Secret Tech

Premium spells cost {1} less to cast.
Premium creatures get +1/+1.

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Clay Pigeon

Flying
{1}, Throw this creature into the air at least two feet above your head while seated: If you catch this creature with one hand, prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to you this turn and tap this creature. Otherwise, sacrifice it.

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Kindslaver

{5}, {T}, Sacrifice Kindslaver: A person outside the game controls target player during that player's next turn. Neither player may advise that person until the end of that turn.

Censorship

As this enchantment enters, choose a word.
Whenever a player says the chosen word, this enchantment deals 2 damage to that player.

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice this artifact.

Pointy Finger of Doom

{3}, {T}: Spin this artifact in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to.

Do-It-Yourself Seraph

Flying
Whenever this creature attacks, you may search your library for an artifact card, exile it, then shuffle.
This creature has the text box of each card exiled with this creature in addition to its own.

Free-for-All

When this enchantment enters, exile all creatures face down.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player chooses a card exiled with this enchantment at random and puts it onto the battlefield.
When this enchantment leaves the battlefield, put all cards exiled with it into their owners' graveyards.

No-Regrets Egret

Flying
Any time you could mulligan and No-Regrets Egret is in your hand, you may reveal No-Regrets Egret. If you do, look at the top two cards of your library. (Put those cards back in the same order. You can still mulligan.)

Staff of the Letter Magus

As this artifact enters, choose a consonant other than N, R, S, or T.
Whenever a player casts a spell, you gain 1 life for each time the chosen letter appears in that spell's name.

Busted!

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {X}, where X is the number of words in the name with the most words among permanents you control.

Get a Life

Target player and each of that player's teammates exchange life totals.

Gifts Given

Search target opponent's library for four cards with different names and reveal them. That player chooses two of those cards. Put the chosen cards into the player's graveyard and the rest into your hand. Then that player shuffles their library.

Flavor Judge

{T}: Choose target spell or ability that targets a permanent you control. Then ask a person outside the game if the story of what will happen makes sense. If they say no, sacrifice this creature and counter that spell or ability.

Flaccify

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {3}{½}.

Atinlay Igpay

Oubleday ikestray
Enwhay ouyay eakspay ay onnay-igpay-atinlay ordway, acrificesay isthay eaturecray.

Bag Check

Counter target spell, then ask a person outside the game if that spell looks dangerous to them. If they say yes, draw a card, then discard a card.

Essence of Ajani

(As this spell resolves, put it into the command zone.)
Whenever you cast a spell, you gain 1 life.

Avacyn's Collar, the Symbol of Her Church

Equipped creature can't attack, block, or transform, and its activated abilities can't be activated.
Shackle {3} ({3}: Attach to target creature you don't control. Shackle only as a sorcery.)

Urza's Contact Lenses

This artifact enters tapped.
This artifact doesn't untap during your untap step.
As long as this artifact is untapped, all players play with their hands revealed.
Clap your hands twice: You may tap or untap this artifact.

Half-Shark, Half-

At the beginning of your upkeep,
Augment {5}{U} ({5}{U}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

A Girl and Her Dogs

When A Girl and Her Dogs enters the battlefield and at the beginning of your upkeep, create a 1/1 white legendary Dog creature token and name it.
Whenever A Girl and Her Dogs attacks, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each legendary creature you control.

Space Beleren

Space sculptor (Space Beleren divides the battlefield into alpha, beta, and gamma sectors. If a creature isn't assigned to a sector, its controller assigns it to one. Opponents assign first.)
+1: Creatures in each sector can be blocked this turn only by creatures in the same sector.
−1: Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature in the sector of your choice.
−5: Destroy all creatures in the sector of your choice.

Split Screen

When this artifact enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When this artifact leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Adorable Kitten

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

Rules Lawyer

State-based actions don't apply to you or other permanents you control. (You don't lose the game due to having 0 or less life or drawing from an empty library. Your creatures aren't destroyed due to damage or deathtouch and aren't put into a graveyard due to having 0 or less toughness. Your planeswalkers aren't put into a graveyard if they have 0 loyalty. You don't put a legendary permanent into a graveyard if you control two with the same name. Counters aren't removed from your permanents due to game rules. Permanents you control attached or combined illegally remain on the battlefield. For complete rules and regulations, see rule 704.)

Wisedrafter's Will

Your opponents play with their hands revealed.
{U}, Sacrifice Wisedrafter's Will: Draw a card.
{U}{U}, Sacrifice Wisedrafter's Will: Counter target spell.

Fowl Play

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a Bird creature with base power and toughness 1/1.

Knight of the Hokey Pokey

First strike
{1}{W}, Do the Hokey Pokey: Prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to this creature this turn. (To do the Hokey Pokey, choose an arm, a leg, or your whole self and put it in. Put it out. Put it in. Shake it all about. You do the Hokey Pokey! Turn yourself around.)

Exchange of Words

When this enchantment enters, choose two target creatures. For as long as this enchantment remains on the battlefield, exchange the text boxes of those creatures.

Blurry Beeble

Blurry (This creature can be blocked only if defending player was wearing glasses as it was cast.)
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card.

GO TO JAIL

When this enchantment enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until this enchantment leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice this enchantment.

Charm School

As this enchantment enters, choose a color and balance this enchantment on your head.
Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you by sources of the chosen color.
When this enchantment falls off your head, sacrifice this enchantment.

Plains

Five-Finger Discount

Put target nonland permanent into your hand. You may spend mana as though it were mana of any color the next time you cast that card.

Togglodyte

This creature enters turned on.
Whenever a player casts a spell, toggle this creature's ON/OFF switch.
As long as this creature is turned off, it can't attack or block, and prevent all damage it would deal.

Bosom Buddy

Whenever you cast a spell, you may gain ½ life for each word in that spell's name.

Frankie Peanuts

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may ask target player a yes-or-no question. If you do, that player answers the question truthfully and abides by that answer if able until end of turn.

Heart of a Duelist

You may draw cards from anywhere in your library. (You don't get to look at them or reorder them while doing so.)
When Heart of a Duelist enters the battlefield, draw a card.

Jeskai Baller

When you cast this spell, create a 1/1 white Athlete creature token.
Rebound (If you cast this spell from your hand, exile it as it resolves. At the beginning of your next upkeep, you may cast this card from exile without paying its mana cost.)

Spatula of the Ages

{4}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You may put a silver-bordered or acorn permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Rod of Spanking

{2}, {T}: This artifact deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap this artifact unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

Muraganda Eldrazi

Devoid (This card has no color.)
Deworded (This creature counts as having no abilities.)
When you cast this spell, put a primeval counter on target creature. (A creature with a primeval counter loses all abilities and can't gain abilities.)

The Grand Calcutron

When The Grand Calcutron enters, each player's hand becomes a program (an ordered row of revealed cards).
Players can play only the first card of their program.
If a card would be put into a player's hand from anywhere, that player reveals it and places it anywhere within their program instead.
At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player's program has fewer than five cards, they draw cards equal to the difference.
The Grand Calcutron can be your commander.

Cardpecker

Flying
Gotcha — If an opponent touches the table with their hand, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return this card from your graveyard to your hand.

World-Bottling Kit

{5}, Sacrifice this artifact: Choose a Magic set. Exile all permanents with that set's expansion symbol except for basic lands.

The Big Top

{T}: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)

Oddly Uneven

Choose one —
• Destroy each creature with an odd number of words in its name. (Hyphenated words are one word.)
• Destroy each creature with an even number of words in its name.

Mox Lotus

{T}: Add {∞}.
{100}: Add one mana of any color.

Ashnod's Coupon

{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Target player gets you target drink. You pay any costs for the drink.

Carnivorous Death-Parrot

Flying
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice this creature unless you say its flavor text.

Boing!

Return target creature to its owner's hand, then roll a six-sided die. If the result is 3 or less, scry a number of cards equal to the result.

Graveyard Busybody

All graveyards are also your graveyards.
Graveyard Busybody's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards with flavor text in your graveyards.

Gimme Five

You gain 1 life for each person who high-fives you in the next thirty seconds. Each player in an Un-game who high-fives you gains 1 life. (Offer high fives. Don't hit people.)

Border Guardian

Whenever you cast a silver-bordered spell, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.
Whenever you cast a black-bordered spell, this creature can't be blocked this turn.
Whenever you cast a white-bordered spell, this creature gains double strike until end of turn.

First Come, First Served

Each attacking or blocking creature with the lowest collector number among attacking or blocking creatures has first strike.

Spell Counter

Counter target spell.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "spell" or "counter," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Spell Counter from your graveyard to your hand.

Wrath of Leknif

Destroy all creatures. They can't be regenerated. Untap up to four lands you control.

Hallowed Fountain

({T}: Add {W} or {U}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Save Life

Choose one —
• Target player gains 2½ life.
• Prevent the next 2½ damage that would be dealt to target creature this turn.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "save" or "life," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Save Life from your graveyard to your hand.