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Commander
Whenever Varchild deals combat damage to a player, that player creates that many 1/1 red Survivor creature tokens. Survivors your opponents control can't block, and they can't attack you or planeswalkers you control. When Varchild leaves the battlefield, gain control of all Survivors.
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Commander
EQUIP
EQUIP
Land
Land
Anthem
Anthem
FUCK-BOIS
Cumulative upkeep—Have an opponent create a 1/1 red Survivor creature token. (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on this permanent, then sacrifice it unless you pay its upkeep cost for each age counter on it.) Trample; rampage 1 (Whenever this creature becomes blocked, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each creature blocking it beyond the first.)
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FUCK-BOIS
Protection
Protection
Sac Outlet
Sac Outlet
Damage Multiplier
Artifact offering (You may cast this spell as though it had flash by sacrificing an artifact and paying the difference in mana costs between this and the sacrificed artifact. Mana cost includes color.) Flying, double strike Creatures attacking your opponents have double strike.
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Whenever a creature an opponent controls attacks one of your opponents, double its power until end of turn. {X}{X}{R}: Monstrosity X. (If this creature isn't monstrous, put X +1/+1 counters on it and it becomes monstrous.) When this creature becomes monstrous, goad up to X target creatures your opponents control.
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Damage Multiplier
Fuck Shit Up
Fuck Shit Up
Pump
Pump
Theft
Theft
Draw
Indestructible When The One Ring enters, if you cast it, you gain protection from everything until your next turn. At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 1 life for each burden counter on The One Ring. {T}: Put a burden counter on The One Ring, then draw a card for each burden counter on The One Ring.
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Draw
Goblin-Gang
+2: Discard up to two cards, then draw that many cards. −2: Sacrifice an artifact. If you do, return target artifact card from your graveyard to the battlefield. −10: You get an emblem with "Whenever an artifact is put into your graveyard from the battlefield, return that card to the battlefield at the beginning of the next end step." Daretti, Scrap Savant can be your commander.
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Goblin-Gang
Ramp
Ramp
Tutor
Tutor
Maybeboard
Creatures your opponents control with power less than Baeloth Barrityl's power are goaded. (They attack each combat if able and attack a player other than you if able.) Whenever a goaded attacking or blocking creature dies, you create a Treasure token. Choose a Background (You can have a Background as a second commander.)
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Flying Whenever this creature attacks or dies, choose one or more. Each mode must target a different player. • Target opponent draws three cards, then discards three cards at random. • Target opponent sacrifices a nontoken artifact of their choice. • This creature deals damage to target opponent equal to the number of cards in their hand.
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Living weapon (When this Equipment enters, create a 0/0 black Phyrexian Germ creature token, then attach this to it.) Equipped creature gets +1/+1. Whenever equipped creature attacks, you may search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. Equip {3}
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Delayed Blast Fireball deals 2 damage to each opponent and each creature they control. If this spell was cast from exile, it deals 5 damage to each opponent and each creature they control instead. Foretell {4}{R}{R} (During your turn, you may pay {2} and exile this card from your hand face down. Cast it on a later turn for its foretell cost.)
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Whenever Delina attacks, choose target creature you control, then roll a d20. 1—14 | Create a tapped and attacking token that's a copy of that creature, except it's not legendary and it has "At end of combat, exile this token." 15—20 | Create one of those tokens. You may roll again.
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Whenever a creature you control deals combat damage to a player, choose one — • Goad target creature that player controls. • Exile the top card of that player's library. Until end of turn, you may cast that card and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast that spell.
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Jeska enters with a loyalty counter on her for each time you've cast a commander from the command zone this game. 0: Choose target creature. Until your next turn, if that creature would deal combat damage to one of your opponents, it deals triple that damage to that player instead. −X: Jeska deals X damage to each of up to three targets. Jeska, Thrice Reborn can be your commander. Partner
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Menace Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has menace. Whenever this creature or equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, goad each creature that player controls. Reconfigure {4} ({4}: Attach to target creature you control; or unattach from a creature. Reconfigure only as a sorcery. While attached, this isn't a creature.)
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First strike, trample, haste Whenever this creature attacks, it gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of creatures you control. When this creature enters, if it's not a token, each opponent creates a token that's a copy of it. The tokens are goaded for the rest of the game. (They attack each combat if able and attack a player other than you if able.)
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Choose one — • Gain control of all creatures with power 4 or greater until end of turn. Untap those creatures. They gain haste until end of turn. • Gain control of all creatures with power 3 or less until end of turn. Untap those creatures. They gain haste until end of turn.
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Whenever Márton Stromgald attacks, other attacking creatures get +1/+1 until end of turn for each attacking creature other than Márton Stromgald. Whenever Márton Stromgald blocks, other blocking creatures get +1/+1 until end of turn for each blocking creature other than Márton Stromgald.
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Put a double strike counter on target creature, then goad each creature that had a double strike counter put on it this way. (Until your next turn, those creatures attack each combat if able and attack a player other than you if able.) Overload {4}{R}{R}{R} (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change "target" in its text to "each.")
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Counter target spell. Choose 1, 2, or 3 at random. Its controller mills that many cards, then exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card with a different name than that spell. They may cast that card without paying its mana cost. Then they put the exiled cards on the bottom of their library in a random order.
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Each player secretly chooses a number 0 or greater, then all players reveal those numbers simultaneously and determine the highest and lowest numbers revealed this way. Wheel of Misfortune deals damage equal to the highest number to each player who chose that number. Each player who didn't choose the lowest number discards their hand, then draws seven cards.
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Destroy target permanent an opponent controls. Its controller reveals cards from the top of their library until they reveal a permanent card that shares a card type with that permanent. They put that card onto the battlefield and the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order.
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