Guff Rewrites History

For each player, choose target nonenchantment, nonland permanent that player controls. Those permanents' owners shuffle them into their libraries. Each player who controlled one of those permanents exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card, then puts the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order. Each player may cast the nonland card they exiled without paying its mana cost.

Jeweled Lotus

{T}, Sacrifice Jeweled Lotus: Add three mana of any one color. Spend this mana only to cast your commander.

Mountain

Kaya's Guile

Choose two —
• Each opponent sacrifices a creature.
• Exile all opponents' graveyards.
• Create a 1/1 white and black Spirit creature token with flying.
• You gain 4 life.
Entwine {3} (Choose all if you pay the entwine cost.)

Expedition Map

{2}, {T}, Sacrifice Expedition Map: Search your library for a land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Marsh Flats

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice Marsh Flats: Search your library for a Plains or Swamp card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Gadrak, the Crown-Scourge

Flying
Gadrak, the Crown-Scourge can't attack unless you control four or more artifacts.
At the beginning of your end step, create a Treasure token for each nontoken creature that died this turn. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Stinging Study

You draw X cards and you lose X life, where X is the mana value of a commander you own on the battlefield or in the command zone.

Blood Crypt

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
As Blood Crypt enters the battlefield, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters the battlefield tapped.

Sacred Foundry

({T}: Add {R} or {W}.)
As Sacred Foundry enters the battlefield, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters the battlefield tapped.

The Meathook Massacre

When The Meathook Massacre enters the battlefield, each creature gets -X/-X until end of turn.
Whenever a creature you control dies, each opponent loses 1 life.
Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, you gain 1 life.

Opposition Agent

Flash
You control your opponents while they're searching their libraries.
While an opponent is searching their library, they exile each card they find. You may play those cards for as long as they remain exiled, and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast them.

Sundown Pass

Sundown Pass enters the battlefield tapped unless you control two or more other lands.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}.

Rankle, Master of Pranks

Flying, haste
Whenever Rankle, Master of Pranks deals combat damage to a player, choose any number —
• Each player discards a card.
• Each player loses 1 life and draws a card.
• Each player sacrifices a creature.

Malakir Mire

Malakir Mire enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {B}.

Malakir Rebirth

Choose target creature. You lose 2 life. Until end of turn, that creature gains "When this creature dies, return it to the battlefield tapped under its owner's control."

Malakir Rebirth // Malakir Mire

Tergrid's Lantern

{T}: Target player loses 3 life unless they sacrifice a nonland permanent or discard a card.
{3}{B}: Untap Tergrid's Lantern.

Tergrid, God of Fright

Menace
Whenever an opponent sacrifices a nontoken permanent or discards a permanent card, you may put that card from a graveyard onto the battlefield under your control.

Tergrid, God of Fright // Tergrid's Lantern

Despark

Exile target permanent with mana value 4 or greater.

Boros Signet

Caves of Koilos

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {W} or {B}. Caves of Koilos deals 1 damage to you.

Vampiric Tutor

Search your library for a card, then shuffle and put that card on top. You lose 2 life.

Sulfurous Springs

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}. Sulfurous Springs deals 1 damage to you.

Eradicator Valkyrie

Flying, lifelink, hexproof from planeswalkers
Boast — {1}{B}, Sacrifice a creature: Each opponent sacrifices a creature or planeswalker. (Activate only if this creature attacked this turn and only once each turn.)

Ephemerate

Exile target creature you control, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control.
Rebound (If you cast this spell from your hand, exile it as it resolves. At the beginning of your next upkeep, you may cast this card from exile without paying its mana cost.)

Pillarverge Pathway

Needleverge Pathway

Needleverge Pathway // Pillarverge Pathway

Blind Obedience

Extort (Whenever you cast a spell, you may pay {W/B}. If you do, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain that much life.)
Artifacts and creatures your opponents control enter the battlefield tapped.

The Eternal Wanderer

No more than one creature can attack The Eternal Wanderer each combat.
+1: Exile up to one target artifact or creature. Return that card to the battlefield under its owner's control at the beginning of that player's next end step.
0: Create a 2/2 white Samurai creature token with double strike.
−4: For each player, choose a creature that player controls. Each player sacrifices all creatures they control not chosen this way.

Isolated Chapel

Isolated Chapel enters the battlefield tapped unless you control a Plains or a Swamp.
{T}: Add {W} or {B}.

Court of Ambition

When Court of Ambition enters the battlefield, you become the monarch.
At the beginning of your upkeep, each opponent loses 3 life unless they discard a card. If you're the monarch, instead each opponent loses 6 life unless they discard two cards.

Stroke of Midnight

Destroy target nonland permanent. Its controller creates a 1/1 white Human creature token.

Rankle and Torbran

Flying, first strike, haste
Whenever Rankle and Torbran deals combat damage to a player or battle, choose any number —
• Each player creates a Treasure token.
• Each player sacrifices a creature.
• If a source would deal damage to a player or battle this turn, it deals that much damage plus 2 instead.

Teferi's Protection

Until your next turn, your life total can't change and you gain protection from everything. All permanents you control phase out. (While they're phased out, they're treated as though they don't exist. They phase in before you untap during your untap step.)
Exile Teferi's Protection.

Make an Example

Each opponent separates the creatures they control into two piles. For each opponent, you choose one of their piles. Each opponent sacrifices the creatures in their chosen pile. (Piles can be empty.)

Black Market Connections

At the beginning of your precombat main phase, choose one or more —
• Sell Contraband — Create a Treasure token. You lose 1 life.
• Buy Information — Draw a card. You lose 2 life.
• Hire a Mercenary — Create a 3/2 colorless Shapeshifter creature token with changeling. You lose 3 life. (It has every creature type.)

Esper Sentinel

Whenever an opponent casts their first noncreature spell each turn, draw a card unless that player pays {X}, where X is Esper Sentinel's power.

Morbid Opportunist

Whenever one or more other creatures die, draw a card. This ability triggers only once each turn.

Teleportation Circle

At the beginning of your end step, exile up to one target artifact or creature you control, then return that card to the battlefield under its owner's control.

Vihaan, Goldwaker

Other outlaws you control have vigilance and haste. (Assassins, Mercenaries, Pirates, Rogues, and Warlocks are outlaws.)
At the beginning of combat on your turn, you may have Treasures you control become 3/3 Construct Assassin artifact creatures in addition to their other types until end of turn.

Plaguecrafter

When Plaguecrafter enters the battlefield, each player sacrifices a creature or planeswalker. Each player who can't discards a card.

Mythos of Snapdax

Each player chooses an artifact, a creature, an enchantment, and a planeswalker from among the nonland permanents they control, then sacrifices the rest. If {B}{R} was spent to cast this spell, you choose the permanents for each player instead.

Court of Embereth

When Court of Embereth enters the battlefield, you become the monarch.
At the beginning of your upkeep, create a 3/1 red Knight creature token. Then if you're the monarch, Court of Embereth deals X damage to each opponent, where X is the number of creatures you control.

Undying Malice

Until end of turn, target creature gains "When this creature dies, return it to the battlefield tapped under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it."

Sheoldred, the Apocalypse

Deathtouch
Whenever you draw a card, you gain 2 life.
Whenever an opponent draws a card, they lose 2 life.

Smothering Tithe

Whenever an opponent draws a card, that player may pay {2}. If the player doesn't, you create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Deflecting Swat

If you control a commander, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost.
You may choose new targets for target spell or ability.

Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Merciless Executioner

When Merciless Executioner enters the battlefield, each player sacrifices a creature.

Bloodstained Mire

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice Bloodstained Mire: Search your library for a Swamp or Mountain card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Malik, Grim Manipulator

When Malik, Grim Manipulator enters the battlefield, you and target opponent each secretly choose a creature that player controls. Then those choices are revealed, and that player sacrifices those creatures.
Whenever an opponent sacrifices a creature, you create a Treasure token.

Sol Ring

Braids, Arisen Nightmare

At the beginning of your end step, you may sacrifice an artifact, creature, enchantment, land, or planeswalker. If you do, each opponent may sacrifice a permanent that shares a card type with it. For each opponent who doesn't, that player loses 2 life and you draw a card.

Liliana's Triumph

Each opponent sacrifices a creature. If you control a Liliana planeswalker, each opponent also discards a card.

Vona's Hunger

Ascend (If you control ten or more permanents, you get the city's blessing for the rest of the game.)
Each opponent sacrifices a creature. If you have the city's blessing, instead each opponent sacrifices half the creatures they control, rounded up.

Shadowblood Ridge

Arcane Signet

Rakdos Signet

Field of the Dead

Field of the Dead enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {C}.
Whenever Field of the Dead or another land enters the battlefield under your control, if you control seven or more lands with different names, create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token.

Prismatic Vista

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice Prismatic Vista: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Harvester of Souls

Deathtouch
Whenever another nontoken creature dies, you may draw a card.

Swamp

Marionette Master

Fabricate 3 (When this creature enters the battlefield, put three +1/+1 counters on it or create three 1/1 colorless Servo artifact creature tokens.)
Whenever an artifact you control is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, target opponent loses life equal to Marionette Master's power.

Plains

Demon's Disciple

When Demon's Disciple enters the battlefield, each player sacrifices a creature or planeswalker.

Not Dead After All

Until end of turn, target creature you control gains "When this creature dies, return it to the battlefield tapped under its owner's control, then create a Wicked Role token attached to it." (Enchanted creature gets +1/+1. When this Aura is put into a graveyard, each opponent loses 1 life.)

Battlefield Forge

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}. Battlefield Forge deals 1 damage to you.

Inspiring Statuary

Nonartifact spells you cast have improvise. (Your artifacts can help cast those spells. Each artifact you tap after you're done activating mana abilities pays for {1}.)

Cruel Celebrant

Whenever Cruel Celebrant or another creature or planeswalker you control dies, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.

Liquimetal Torque

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Target nonland permanent becomes an artifact in addition to its other types until end of turn.

Helm of the Host

At the beginning of combat on your turn, create a token that's a copy of equipped creature, except the token isn't legendary. That token gains haste.
Equip {5}

Soul Shatter

Each opponent sacrifices a creature or planeswalker with the highest mana value among creatures and planeswalkers they control.

World Queller

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may choose a card type. If you do, each player sacrifices a permanent of that type.

Ruinous Ultimatum

Destroy all nonland permanents your opponents control.

Gisa, Glorious Resurrector

If a creature an opponent controls would die, exile it instead.
At the beginning of your upkeep, put all creature cards exiled with Gisa, Glorious Resurrector onto the battlefield under your control. They gain decayed. (A creature with decayed can't block. When it attacks, sacrifice it at end of combat.)

Liliana, Dreadhorde General

Whenever a creature you control dies, draw a card.
+1: Create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token.
−4: Each player sacrifices two creatures.
−9: Each opponent chooses a permanent they control of each permanent type and sacrifices the rest.

Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite

Vigilance
Other creatures you control get +2/+2.
Creatures your opponents control get -2/-2.

Phyrexian Arena

At the beginning of your upkeep, you draw a card and you lose 1 life.

Sheoldred's Edict

Choose one —
• Each opponent sacrifices a nontoken creature.
• Each opponent sacrifices a creature token.
• Each opponent sacrifices a planeswalker.

Tibalt's Trickery

Counter target spell. Choose 1, 2, or 3 at random. Its controller mills that many cards, then exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card with a different name than that spell. They may cast that card without paying its mana cost. Then they put the exiled cards on the bottom of their library in a random order.

Court of Ardenvale

When Court of Ardenvale enters the battlefield, you become the monarch.
At the beginning of your upkeep, return target permanent card with mana value 3 or less from your graveyard to your hand. If you're the monarch, return that permanent card to the battlefield instead.

Queen Marchesa

Deathtouch, haste
When Queen Marchesa enters the battlefield, you become the monarch.
At the beginning of your upkeep, if an opponent is the monarch, create a 1/1 black Assassin creature token with deathtouch and haste.

Carmen, Cruel Skymarcher

Flying
Whenever a player sacrifices a permanent, put a +1/+1 counter on Carmen, Cruel Skymarcher and you gain 1 life.
Whenever Carmen attacks, return up to one target permanent card with mana value less than or equal to Carmen's power from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Anguished Unmaking

Exile target nonland permanent. You lose 3 life.

Bojuka Bog

Bojuka Bog enters the battlefield tapped.
When Bojuka Bog enters the battlefield, exile target player's graveyard.
{T}: Add {B}.

Kambal, Profiteering Mayor

Whenever one or more tokens enter the battlefield under your opponents' control, for each of them, create a tapped token that's a copy of it. This ability triggers only once each turn.
Whenever one or more tokens enter the battlefield under your control, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.

Bonders' Enclave

{T}: Add {C}.
{3}, {T}: Draw a card. Activate only if you control a creature with power 4 or greater.

Demonic Tutor

Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

Orzhov Signet

Graven Cairns

{T}: Add {C}.
{B/R}, {T}: Add {B}{B}, {B}{R}, or {R}{R}.

Godless Shrine

({T}: Add {W} or {B}.)
As Godless Shrine enters the battlefield, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters the battlefield tapped.

Dockside Extortionist

When Dockside Extortionist enters the battlefield, create X Treasure tokens, where X is the number of artifacts and enchantments your opponents control. (Treasure tokens are artifacts with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")