Brushstroke Paintermage

{T}: Target permanent's artist becomes the artist of your choice until end of turn.

Erase (Not the Urza's Legacy One)

If you control two or more white permanents that share an artist, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost.
Exile target enchantment.

Eager Beaver

When this creature enters the battlefield, you may untap target permanent.

Insufferable Syphon

Whenever you crank Insufferable Syphon, target player discards a card.

The Superlatorium

Visit — An opponent chooses "the funniest," "the smelliest," or "the sturdiest." You choose a creature, then ask a person outside the game to choose the creature that best fits the chosen criteria. If they chose the same creature you chose, claim the prize!
Prize — Create two 1/1 red Balloon creature tokens with flying, then sacrifice The Superlatorium and open an Attraction.

Ticking Mime Bomb

When Ticking Mime Bomb enters the battlefield, without speaking or indicating any specific creature, pantomime to a person outside the game, then they choose a creature you don't control. Ticking Mime Bomb deals damage equal to twice the number of Robots you control to the chosen creature.

Elvish House Party

Elvish House Party's power and toughness are each equal to the current hour, using the twelve-hour system.

Farewell to Arms

As Farewell to Arms enters the battlefield, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm.
When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice Farewell to Arms. If you do, that player discards their hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.)

Everythingamajig

{2}, {T}: Draw a card. Activate only if you have no cards in hand.
{8}, {T}: You gain 10 life.
{4}, {T}, Sacrifice Everythingamajig: You may put a silver-bordered or acorn permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.

More or Less

Add or subtract 1 or one from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn.

Mana Flair

Add {R} for each nonland permanent with art by the artist of your choice.

Pick Your Poison

Choose any number of modes that total exactly 4. You may choose the same mode more than once.
[1] Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.
[2] Create a 1/1 black Snake creature token with deathtouch.
[4] All creatures get -2/-2 until end of turn.

Sundering Fork

Whenever you crank Sundering Fork, destroy target artifact.

Hot Fix

You have ten seconds to look at and rearrange the cards in your library. At the end of those ten seconds, if you're touching one or more of those cards, shuffle.

Innocuous Insect

Buyback {1}{U} (You may pay an additional {1}{U} as you cast this spell. If you do, put this card into your hand as it resolves.)
Flash
Flying
When you cast this spell, draw a card.

Monkey Monkey Monkey

As Monkey Monkey Monkey enters the battlefield, choose a letter.
Monkey Monkey Monkey gets +1/+1 for each nonland permanent whose name begins with the chosen letter.

Charm School

As Charm School enters the battlefield, choose a color and balance Charm School on your head.
Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you by sources of the chosen color.
When Charm School falls off your head, sacrifice Charm School.

Clambassadors

Whenever Clambassadors deals damage to a player, choose an artifact, creature, or land you control. That player gains control of that permanent.

Nice

Search your library for a card and put it into another target player's hand. Then shuffle your library.

Naughty

Search another target player's library for a card and put that card into your hand. Then shuffle that player's library.

Naughty // Nice

Enter the Dungeon

Players play a Magic subgame under the table, starting at 5 life and using their libraries as their decks. The winner searches their library for two cards, puts those cards into their hand, then shuffles.

Kill! Destroy!

Destroy target nonblack creature.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand.

Guess Your Fate

Visit — Look at the bottom of your library, then give a person outside the game a one-word clue not on that card. They guess a word. If their guess appears in that card's name, claim the prize!
Prize — Reveal the card, put it into your hand, then sacrifice Guess Your Fate and open an Attraction.

Souvenir T-Shirt

Gear Up, sponsored by Wizards of the Coast — As Souvenir T-Shirt enters the battlefield, roll two six-sided dice. For each Magic-branded item you're wearing, roll an additional six-sided die. Choose two of those results.
Equipped creature gets +X/+Y, where X is the first chosen result and Y is the second.
Equip {4}

Kaya, Ghost Haunter

0: Exile Kaya, Ghost Haunter haunting target creature for as long as that creature remains on the battlefield.
−1: You get an emblem with, "At the beginning of your upkeep, this emblem deals 3 damage to the owner of target haunted creature."
−2: You get an emblem with, "At the beginning of your upkeep, gain control of target haunted creature for as long as it remains haunted."

Rod of Spanking

{2}, {T}: Rod of Spanking deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap Rod of Spanking unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

Phoebe, Head of S.N.E.A.K.

Phoebe, Head of S.N.E.A.K. can't be blocked by creatures with flavor text.
{2}{U}{B}: Phoebe permanently steals target creature's text box. (That creature loses all rules text, flavor text, and watermarks. This creature gains them.)

Surprise Party

When Surprise Party enters the battlefield, yell "Surprise!" and put onto the battlefield any number of printed Clown Robot tokens that aren't touching each other, that you hid on the battlefield before you cast Surprise Party, and that weren't spotted by an opponent before you cast Surprise Party.
Robots you control get +1/+0 and have vigilance.

Look at Me, I'm the DCI

Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)

Nerf War

Fire a Nerf® blaster until empty at target library from at least two meters away. For each card knocked off that library, put it into its owner's graveyard and Nerf War deals ½ damage to that player. (Foam darts only.)

Baneslayer Aspirant

Baneslayer Aspirant gets +3/+3 and has flying, first strike, and lifelink as long as you have one or more emblems.

Free-for-All

When Free-for-All enters the battlefield, exile all creatures face down.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player chooses a card exiled with Free-for-All at random and puts it onto the battlefield.
When Free-for-All leaves the battlefield, put all cards exiled with it into their owners' graveyards.

Don't Try This at Home

If a hot source you control would deal damage to a player or permanent, it deals that much damage plus 1 instead. (Something is hot if it has hot things in its art, like fire or explosions.)
{1}{R}, Sacrifice Don't Try This at Home: It deals damage equal to twice the number of hot cards in your graveyard to target creature or planeswalker.

Chaos Confetti

{4}, {T}: Tear Chaos Confetti into pieces. Throw the pieces onto the battlefield from a distance of at least five feet. Destroy each permanent that a piece touches. Remove the pieces from the game.

Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike, trample
Once each turn, while you're searching your library, you may pay {1}{B}, reveal Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil from your library and say "I'm coming, too!" If you do, Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 2 damage to a player of your choice.

Genetic Recombinator

Whenever you crank Genetic Recombinator, up to two target creatures each get +2/+2 until end of turn.

Nearby Planet

Rangeling (This card is every land type, including Plains, Island, Swamp, Mountain, Forest, Desert, Gate, Lair, Locus, and all those Urza's ones.)
Nearby Planet enters the battlefield tapped.
When Nearby Planet enters the battlefield, sacrifice it unless you pay {1}.

Better Than One

A person outside the game becomes your teammate. (Choose any number of cards in your hand, on top of your library, or on the battlefield under your control. Those cards become your teammate's hand, library, and permanents, respectively.)

"Rumors of My Death . . ."

{3}{B}, Exile a permanent you control with a League of Dastardly Doom watermark: Return a permanent card with a League of Dastardly Doom watermark from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Dispatch Dispensary

Whenever you crank Dispatch Dispensary, create a 2/2 black Rogue creature token with menace.

Work a Double

Assemble two Contraptions. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets. Then repeat this process.)

_____

{1}: This card's name becomes the card name of your choice. Activate anywhere, anytime.

Trivia Contest

Visit — An opponent chooses blue card, enchantment card, or creature type, then mills a card. You have ten seconds to name something from the chosen category that starts with the same letter as the milled card. If you do, claim the prize!
Prize — You get {TK}{TK}{TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Sacrifice Trivia Contest and open an Attraction.

Sole Performer

{T}: Add {T}{T}. Activate only once each turn. (While activating an ability, use {T} rather than tapping the permanent to pay for {T}.)

Keeper of the Sacred Word

As Keeper of the Sacred Word enters the battlefield, choose a word.
Whenever an opponent says the chosen word, Keeper of the Sacred Word gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

Monkey-

Whenever a nontoken creature you control dies,
Augment {2}{G} ({2}{G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Knight of the Kitchen Sink

First strike, protection from odd collector numbers (Nothing with an odd collector number can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Well Done

Well Done deals 5 damage to target creature. If that creature is rare or mythic rare, Well Done deals 3 damage to that creature's controller.

Rocket-Powered Turbo Slug

Super haste (This may attack the turn before you cast it. (You may put this card from your hand onto the battlefield tapped and attacking during your declare attackers step. If you do, you lose the game at the beginning of your next turn's end step unless you pay this card's mana cost during that turn.))

First Come, First Served

Each attacking or blocking creature with the lowest collector number among attacking or blocking creatures has first strike.

Double Header

Flying
When Double Header enters the battlefield, you may return target permanent with a two-word name to its owner's hand.

Infernius Spawnington III, Esq.

Flying, first strike, trample, haste
This spell costs {3} less to cast for each card you've revealed this turn.
When Infernius Spawnington III, Esq. enters the battlefield, you may say "I'm here." If you do, it deals 3 damage to target player.

Target Minotaur

Prowess (Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.)

{1}, {T}: Scry 2.
{1}, {T}, Pay 1 life: Create a 0/1 white Goat creature token.
{7}, {T}, Sacrifice Everythingamajig: Choose target player. At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with that player, exchange control of all permanents you and that player control, and exchange cards in your hands, cards in your libraries, and cards in your graveyards.

Clocknapper

When Clocknapper enters the battlefield, choose beginning phase, precombat main phase, combat phase, postcombat main phase, or ending phase. Steal that phase from target player during their next turn. (That phase occurs as though it's your turn instead.)

"Brims" Barone, Midway Mobster

When "Brims" Barone, Midway Mobster enters the battlefield, put a +1/+1 counter on each other creature you control that has a hat.
"Brims" Barone, Midway Mobster has menace as long as you're wearing a hat.

Killer Cosplay

Whenever Killer Cosplay becomes attached to a creature, choose a creature card name with an identical mana cost. That creature becomes a copy of the card with the chosen name until Killer Cosplay becomes unattached from it.
Equip {3}

Form of the Squirrel

As Form of the Squirrel enters the battlefield, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token. You lose the game when that creature leaves the battlefield.
Creatures can't attack you.
You have shroud.
You can't cast spells.

It That Gets Left Hanging

When It That Gets Left Hanging enters the battlefield, ask a person outside the game to high-five you. If they won't, It That Gets Left Hanging gains haste until end of turn.

Auto-Key

Whenever you crank Auto-Key, until end of turn, target creature becomes an artifact in addition to its other types and gains "{T}: You gain 3 life."

Creature Guy

Gotcha — If an opponent says "creature" or "guy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Creature Guy from your graveyard to your hand.

Sorry

Before any player casts a spell with the same name as a card in any graveyard, that player may say "sorry." If they don't, any other player may say "sorry" as the spell is being cast. When another player says "sorry" this way, counter the spell.
Whenever a player says "sorry" at any other time, Sorry deals 2 damage to that player.

Moniker Mage

{U}, Say your middle name: Moniker Mage gains shroud until end of turn.
{U}, Say an opponent's middle name: Moniker Mage gains flying until end of turn.

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.

Five-Finger Discount

Put target nonland permanent into your hand. You may spend mana as though it were mana of any color the next time you cast that card.

Crow Storm

Create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.
Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn.)

Mer Man

When this creature enters the battlefield, you may draw a card.

Gimme Five

You gain 1 life for each person who high-fives you in the next thirty seconds. Each player in an Un-game who high-fives you gains 1 life. (Offer high fives. Don't hit people.)

First Pick

Destroy target artifact or enchantment. Assemble a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Mishra's Toy Workshop

{T}: Add {C}{C}{C}. Spend this mana only on spells and abilities that put tokens onto the battlefield. Use toys to represent the tokens.

Flaccify

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {3}{½}.

Dumb Ass

At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, target opponent chooses whether Dumb Ass attacks this turn.

Very Cryptic Command

Choose two —
• Return target permanent to its controller's hand.
• Draw two cards, then discard a card.
• Change the target of target spell with a single target.
• Turn over target nontoken creature.

Urza's Hot Tub

{2}, Discard a card: Search your library for a card that shares a complete word in its name with the discarded card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Pointy Finger of Doom

{3}, {T}: Spin Pointy Finger of Doom in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to.

Choose two —
• Counter target black-bordered spell.
• Return target creature to its owner's hand.
• Untap each permanent you control with a watermark.
• Roll two six-sided dice. Target player mills X cards, where X is the total of those results.

Hazmat Suit (Used)

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+1 and has menace.
Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches enchanted creature, that player loses 2 life.

Wild Crocodile

When this creature enters the battlefield, search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Dr. Julius Jumblemorph

Dr. Julius Jumblemorph is every creature type (even if this card isn't on the battlefield).
Whenever a host enters the battlefield under your control, you may search your library and/or graveyard for a card with augment and combine it with that host. If you search your library this way, shuffle.

Bad Ass

Labro Bot

When this creature enters the battlefield, return target host card or card with augment from your graveyard to your hand.

Bee-Bee Gun

Whenever you crank Bee-Bee Gun, until end of turn, target creature gains "{2}: This creature fights another target creature."

Ineffable Blessing

As Ineffable Blessing enters the battlefield, choose odd or even.
Whenever a creature with a collector number of the chosen value enters the battlefield under your control, draw a card.

Elvish Impersonators

As Elvish Impersonators enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.

First strike, protection from black borders (Nothing with a black border can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

War of the Spark

(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter. Sacrifice after III.)
I — Each player may put a planeswalker or Zombie card from War of the Spark from their hand or graveyard onto the battlefield.
II — Sacrifice any number of creatures and/or planeswalkers. Each opponent sacrifices that many creatures and/or planeswalkers.
III — Exile up to one target Bolas. Proliferate three times.

Multi-Headed

At the beginning of each end step, if you rolled a die this turn,
Augment {4}{G} ({4}{G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Letter Bomb

When Letter Bomb enters the battlefield, sign it and shuffle it into target player's library. That player reveals each card they draw until they draw Letter Bomb. When that player draws Letter Bomb, it deals 19½ damage to them.

Really Epic Punch

Target creature you control gets +2/+2 if it's a host or has augment. Then it fights target creature you don't control.

Lackey Recycler

Whenever you crank Lackey Recycler, put target creature card from your graveyard on top of your library.

A Real Handful

As long as one or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it gets +2/+2.
As long as two or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it has menace.
As long as three or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it has lifelink.

Evil Presents

Put a creature card from your hand into play under target opponent's control. That creature attacks each turn if able... and always attacks its controller.

Claire D'Loon, Joy Sculptor

When Claire D'Loon, Joy Sculptor enters the battlefield, for the rest of the game, tokens you own become cards that are still tokens. (They continue to exist after they leave the battlefield.)
{1}{W}{U}, {T}: You may put a token from your graveyard or hand onto the battlefield.

Scavenger Hunt

Visit — Choose "a four-legged creature," "a liquid other than water", or "a door" at random. You have ten seconds to search your library and reveal a card with the chosen item in its art. If you do, claim the prize! Then shuffle.
Prize — You get {TK}{TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Sacrifice Scavenger Hunt and open an Attraction.

Magic Word

Enchant creature
As Magic Word enters the battlefield, choose a word.
Whisper the chosen word: Tap enchanted creature.

Blast from the Past

Madness {R}, cycling {1}{R}, kicker {2}{R}, flashback {3}{R}, buyback {4}{R}
Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was kicked, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.

Leading Performance

Choose two letters. Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control whose name begins with the either of the chosen letters.

Visit — An opponent chooses "the friendliest," "the smartest," or "the wildest." You choose a creature, then ask a person outside the game to choose the creature that best fits the chosen criteria. If they chose the same creature you chose, claim the prize!
Prize — Create two 1/1 red Balloon creature tokens with flying, then sacrifice The Superlatorium and open an Attraction.

Ghazbán Ogress

When Ghazbán Ogress enters the battlefield, if one player has won more Magic games that day than any other player, that player gains control of Ghazbán Ogress.

Drawn Together

As Drawn Together enters the battlefield, choose an artist.
Creatures with art by the chosen artist get +2/+2.

The Fallen Apart

The Fallen Apart enters the battlefield with two arms and two legs.
Whenever damage is dealt to The Fallen Apart, remove an arm or a leg from it.
The Fallen Apart can't attack if it has no legs and can't block if it has no arms.

Tchotchke Elemental

Whenever you create a token or put a counter or a sticker on another permanent, put a knickknack counter on Tchotchke Elemental. Use a unique item that completely fits on Tchotchke Elemental for each knickknack counter.
Tchotchke Elemental gets +1/+1 for each knickknack counter on it.

Bursting Beebles

Bursting Beebles can't be blocked as long as defending player controls two or more nonland permanents that share an artist.