Guff Rewrites History

For each player, choose target nonenchantment, nonland permanent that player controls. Those permanents' owners shuffle them into their libraries. Each player who controlled one of those permanents exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card, then puts the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order. Each player may cast the nonland card they exiled without paying its mana cost.

Arcane Signet

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Memory Vessel

{T}, Exile Memory Vessel: Each player exiles the top seven cards of their library. Until your next turn, players may play cards they exiled this way, and they can't play cards from their hand. Activate only as a sorcery.

Swiftfoot Boots

Equipped creature has hexproof and haste. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control.)
Equip {1}

Trading Post

{1}, {T}, Discard a card: You gain 4 life.
{1}, {T}, Pay 1 life: Create a 0/1 white Goat creature token.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice a creature: Return target artifact card from your graveyard to your hand.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice an artifact: Draw a card.

Unstable Amulet

When Unstable Amulet enters, you get {E}{E} (two energy counters).
Whenever you cast a spell from anywhere other than your hand, Unstable Amulet deals 1 damage to each opponent.
{T}, Pay {E}{E}: Exile the top card of your library. You may play it until you exile another card with Unstable Amulet.

Wand of Wonder

{4}, {T}: Roll a d20. Each opponent exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile an instant or sorcery card, then shuffles the rest into their library. You may cast up to X instant and/or sorcery spells from among cards exiled this way without paying their mana costs.
1—9 | X is one.
10—19 | X is two.
20 | X is three.

Abzan Falconer

Outlast {W} ({W}, {T}: Put a +1/+1 counter on this creature. Outlast only as a sorcery.)
Each creature you control with a +1/+1 counter on it has flying.

Axgard Artisan

Whenever one or more +1/+1 counters are put on Axgard Artisan for the first time each turn, create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Rocco, Street Chef

At the beginning of your end step, each player exiles the top card of their library. Until your next end step, each player may play the card they exiled this way.
Whenever a player plays a land from exile or casts a spell from exile, you put a +1/+1 counter on target creature and create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")

Eternal Scourge

You may cast Eternal Scourge from exile.
When Eternal Scourge becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, exile Eternal Scourge.

Scurry Oak

Evolve (Whenever a creature you control enters, if that creature has greater power or toughness than this creature, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.)
Whenever one or more +1/+1 counters are put on Scurry Oak, you may create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Basking Broodscale

Devoid (This card has no color.)
{1}{G}: Adapt 1. (If this creature has no +1/+1 counters on it, put a +1/+1 counter on it.)
Whenever one or more +1/+1 counters are put on Basking Broodscale, you may create a 0/1 colorless Eldrazi Spawn creature token with "Sacrifice this creature: Add {C}."

Baylen, the Haymaker

Tap two untapped tokens you control: Add one mana of any color.
Tap three untapped tokens you control: Draw a card.
Tap four untapped tokens you control: Put three +1/+1 counters on Baylen, the Haymaker. It gains trample until end of turn.

Breya's Apprentice

When Breya's Apprentice enters, create a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying.
{T}, Sacrifice an artifact: Choose one —
• Exile the top card of your library. Until the end of your next turn, you may play that card.
• Target creature gets +2/+0 until end of turn.

Conclave Mentor

If one or more +1/+1 counters would be put on a creature you control, that many plus one +1/+1 counters are put on that creature instead.
When Conclave Mentor dies, you gain life equal to its power.

Dragonhawk, Fate's Tempest

Flying
Whenever Dragonhawk enters or attacks, exile the top X cards of your library, where X is the number of creatures you control with power 4 or greater. You may play those cards until your next end step. At the beginning of your next end step, Dragonhawk deals 2 damage to each opponent for each of those cards that are still exiled.

Dusk Legion Duelist

Vigilance
Whenever one or more +1/+1 counters are put on Dusk Legion Duelist, draw a card. This ability triggers only once each turn.

Etali, Primal Storm

Whenever Etali, Primal Storm attacks, exile the top card of each player's library, then you may cast any number of spells from among those cards without paying their mana costs.

Evolution Witness

{1}{G}: Adapt 2. (If this creature has no +1/+1 counters on it, put two +1/+1 counters on it.)
Whenever one or more +1/+1 counters are put on Evolution Witness, return target permanent card from your graveyard to your hand.

Gilded Goose

Flying
When Gilded Goose enters, create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")
{1}{G}, {T}: Create a Food token.
{T}, Sacrifice a Food: Add one mana of any color.

Jinnie Fay, Jetmir's Second

If you would create one or more tokens, you may instead create that many 2/2 green Cat creature tokens with haste or that many 3/1 green Dog creature tokens with vigilance.

Laelia, the Blade Reforged

Haste
Whenever Laelia, the Blade Reforged attacks, exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn.
Whenever one or more cards are put into exile from your library and/or your graveyard, put a +1/+1 counter on Laelia.

Peregrin Took

If one or more tokens would be created under your control, those tokens plus an additional Food token are created instead. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")
Sacrifice three Foods: Draw a card.

Pia Nalaar, Consul of Revival

Thopters you control have haste.
Whenever you play a land from exile or cast a spell from exile, create a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying.

Reckless Fireweaver

Whenever an artifact you control enters, Reckless Fireweaver deals 1 damage to each opponent.

Rosie Cotton of South Lane

When Rosie Cotton of South Lane enters, create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")
Whenever you create a token, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you control other than Rosie.

Samwise Gamgee

Whenever another nontoken creature you control enters, create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")
Sacrifice three Foods: Return target historic card from your graveyard to your hand. (Artifacts, legendaries, and Sagas are historic.)

Sarinth Steelseeker

Whenever an artifact you control enters, look at the top card of your library. If it's a land card, you may reveal it and put it into your hand. If you don't put the card into your hand, you may put it into your graveyard.

Sunshot Militia

Tap two untapped artifacts and/or creatures you control: Sunshot Militia deals 1 damage to each opponent. Activate only as a sorcery.

Teething Wurmlet

Teething Wurmlet has deathtouch as long as you control three or more artifacts.
Whenever an artifact you control enters, you gain 1 life. If this is the first time this ability has resolved this turn, put a +1/+1 counter on Teething Wurmlet.

Yotian Dissident

Whenever an artifact you control enters, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you control.

Caretaker's Talent

(Gain the next level as a sorcery to add its ability.)
Whenever one or more tokens you control enter, draw a card. This ability triggers only once each turn.
{W}: Level 2
When this Class becomes level 2, create a token that's a copy of target token you control.
{3}{W}: Level 3
Creature tokens you control get +2/+2.

Ghirapur Aether Grid

Tap two untapped artifacts you control: Ghirapur Aether Grid deals 1 damage to any target.

Killer Service

When Killer Service enters, create a number of Food tokens equal to the number of opponents you have. (They're artifacts with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")
At the beginning of your end step, you may pay {2} and sacrifice a token. If you do, create a 4/4 green Rhino Warrior creature token.

Night of the Sweets' Revenge

When Night of the Sweets' Revenge enters, create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")
Foods you control have "{T}: Add {G}."
{5}{G}{G}, Sacrifice Night of the Sweets' Revenge: Creatures you control get +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the number of Foods you control. Activate only as a sorcery.

Rest in Peace

When Rest in Peace enters, exile all graveyards.
If a card or token would be put into a graveyard from anywhere, exile it instead.

Welcome to Sweettooth

(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter. Sacrifice after III.)
I — Create a 1/1 white Human creature token.
II — Create a Food token.
III — Put X +1/+1 counters on target creature you control, where X is one plus the number of Foods you control.

Wild Wasteland

Skip your draw step.
At the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top two cards of your library. You may play those cards this turn.

Collective Resistance

Escalate {G} (Pay this cost for each mode chosen beyond the first.)
Choose one or more —
• Destroy target artifact.
• Destroy target enchantment.
• Target creature gains hexproof and indestructible until end of turn.

Dispatch

Tap target creature.
Metalcraft — If you control three or more artifacts, exile that creature.

Generous Gift

Destroy target permanent. Its controller creates a 3/3 green Elephant creature token.

Legion Leadership

Until end of turn, double target creature's power and it gains first strike.

Legion Stronghold

Legion Stronghold enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}.

Legion Leadership // Legion Stronghold

Path to Exile

Exile target creature. Its controller may search their library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Return to Nature

Choose one —
• Destroy target artifact.
• Destroy target enchantment.
• Exile target card from a graveyard.

Soul Partition

Exile target nonland permanent. For as long as that card remains exiled, its owner may play it. A spell cast by an opponent this way costs {2} more to cast.

Stroke of Midnight

Destroy target nonland permanent. Its controller creates a 1/1 white Human creature token.

You Find Some Prisoners

Choose one —
• Break Their Chains — Destroy target artifact.
• Interrogate Them — Exile the top three cards of target opponent's library. Choose one of them. Until the end of your next turn, you may play that card, and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast it.

Zoyowa's Justice

The owner of target artifact or creature with mana value 1 or greater shuffles it into their library. Then that player discovers X, where X is its mana value. (They exile cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card with that mana value or less. They cast it without paying its mana cost or put it into their hand. They put the rest on the bottom in a random order.)

Command Tower

Forest

Mountain

Plains

The Shire

The Shire enters tapped unless you control a legendary creature.
{T}: Add {G}.
{1}{G}, {T}, Tap an untapped creature you control: Create a Food token.

Sundering Eruption

Destroy target land. Its controller may search their library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. Creatures without flying can't block this turn.

Volcanic Fissure

As Volcanic Fissure enters, you may pay 3 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R}.

Sundering Eruption // Volcanic Fissure

Herd Baloth

Whenever one or more +1/+1 counters are put on Herd Baloth, you may create a 4/4 green Beast creature token.

Make Your Move

Destroy target artifact, enchantment, or creature with power 4 or greater.

Hopeful Initiate

Training (Whenever this creature attacks with another creature with greater power, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.)
{2}{W}, Remove two +1/+1 counters from among creatures you control: Destroy target artifact or enchantment.

Lush Portico

({T}: Add {G} or {W}.)
Lush Portico enters tapped.
When Lush Portico enters, surveil 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put it into your graveyard.)

Kami of Whispered Hopes

If one or more +1/+1 counters would be put on a permanent you control, that many plus one +1/+1 counters are put on that permanent instead.
{T}: Add X mana of any one color, where X is Kami of Whispered Hopes's power.

Cultivate

Search your library for up to two basic land cards, reveal those cards, put one onto the battlefield tapped and the other into your hand, then shuffle.

Many Partings

Search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle. Create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")

Wooded Ridgeline

({T}: Add {R} or {G}.)
Wooded Ridgeline enters tapped.

Day of Judgment

Commercial District

({T}: Add {R} or {G}.)
Commercial District enters tapped.
When Commercial District enters, surveil 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put it into your graveyard.)

Volt Charge

Volt Charge deals 3 damage to any target. Proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)

Party Thrasher

Noncreature spells you cast from exile have convoke. (Each creature you tap while casting a noncreature spell from exile pays for {1} or one mana of that creature's color.)
At the beginning of your first main phase, you may discard a card. If you do, exile the top two cards of your library, then choose one of them. You may play that card this turn.

Thirsting Roots

Choose one —
• Search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
• Proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)

Inspiring Statuary

Nonartifact spells you cast have improvise. (Your artifacts can help cast those spells. Each artifact you tap after you're done activating mana abilities pays for {1}.)

Teferi's Protection

Until your next turn, your life total can't change and you gain protection from everything. All permanents you control phase out. (While they're phased out, they're treated as though they don't exist. They phase in before you untap during your untap step.)
Exile Teferi's Protection.

Bonehoard Dracosaur

Flying, first strike
At the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top two cards of your library. You may play them this turn. If you exiled a land card this way, create a 3/1 red Dinosaur creature token. If you exiled a nonland card this way, create a Treasure token.

Wose Pathfinder

{T}: Add one mana of any color.
{6}{G}, {T}: Another target creature gets +3/+3 and gains trample until end of turn.

Caparocti Sunborn

Whenever Caparocti Sunborn attacks, you may tap two untapped artifacts and/or creatures you control. If you do, discover 3. (Exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card with mana value 3 or less. Cast it without paying its mana cost or put it into your hand. Put the rest on the bottom in a random order.)

Staff of Compleation

{T}, Pay 1 life: Destroy target permanent you own.
{T}, Pay 2 life: Add one mana of any color.
{T}, Pay 3 life: Proliferate.
{T}, Pay 4 life: Draw a card.
{5}: Untap Staff of Compleation.

Unlucky Witness

When Unlucky Witness dies, exile the top two cards of your library. Until your next end step, you may play one of those cards.

Pick Your Poison

Choose any number of modes that total exactly 4. You may choose the same mode more than once.
[1] Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.
[2] Create a 1/1 black Snake creature token with deathtouch.
[4] All creatures get -2/-2 until end of turn.

Ilysian Caryatid

{T}: Add one mana of any color. If you control a creature with power 4 or greater, add two mana of any one color instead.

Bristly Bill, Spine Sower

Landfall — Whenever a land you control enters, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.
{3}{G}{G}: Double the number of +1/+1 counters on each creature you control.

Ankle Biter

Cloudshift

Exile target creature you control, then return that card to the battlefield under your control.

Shrapnel Slinger

When Shrapnel Slinger enters, you may sacrifice a creature. When you do, destroy target artifact an opponent controls.

Prophetic Prism

When Prophetic Prism enters, draw a card.
{1}, {T}: Add one mana of any color.

Leaping Ambush

Target creature gets +1/+3 and gains reach until end of turn. Untap it.

Rustvine Cultivator

{T}: Put an oil counter on Rustvine Cultivator.
{T}, Remove an oil counter from Rustvine Cultivator: Untap target land.

Woodland Mystic

Charming Scoundrel

Haste
When Charming Scoundrel enters, choose one —
• Discard a card, then draw a card.
• Create a Treasure token.
• Create a Wicked Role token attached to target creature you control.

Mushroom Watchdogs

Sacrifice a Food: Put a +1/+1 counter on Mushroom Watchdogs. It gains vigilance until end of turn. Activate only as a sorcery.

Mind Stone

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice Mind Stone: Draw a card.

Petrify

Enchant artifact or creature
Enchanted permanent can't attack or block, and its activated abilities can't be activated.

Outlaw Medic

Lifelink
When Outlaw Medic dies, draw a card.

Cooped Up

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature can't attack or block.
{2}{W}: Exile enchanted creature.

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