Guff Rewrites History

For each player, choose target nonenchantment, nonland permanent that player controls. Those permanents' owners shuffle them into their libraries. Each player who controlled one of those permanents exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card, then puts the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order. Each player may cast the nonland card they exiled without paying its mana cost.

Meteor Golem

When Meteor Golem enters the battlefield, destroy target nonland permanent an opponent controls.

Pinnacle Monk

Prowess (Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.)
When Pinnacle Monk enters the battlefield, return target instant or sorcery card from your graveyard to your hand.

Mystic Peak

As Mystic Peak enters the battlefield, you may pay 3 life. If you don't, it enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {R}.

Pinnacle Monk // Mystic Peak

Laelia, the Blade Reforged

Haste
Whenever Laelia, the Blade Reforged attacks, exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn.
Whenever one or more cards are put into exile from your library and/or your graveyard, put a +1/+1 counter on Laelia.

Anger

Haste
As long as Anger is in your graveyard and you control a Mountain, creatures you control have haste.

Decaying Time Loop

Discard all the cards in your hand, then draw that many cards.
Retrace (You may cast this card from your graveyard by discarding a land card in addition to paying its other costs.)

Neheb, the Eternal

Afflict 3 (Whenever this creature becomes blocked, defending player loses 3 life.)
At the beginning of your postcombat main phase, add {R} for each 1 life your opponents have lost this turn.

Embrace the Unknown

Exile the top two cards of your library. Until the end of your next turn, you may play those cards.
Retrace (You may cast this card from your graveyard by discarding a land card in addition to paying its other costs.)

Hideous Taskmaster

Devoid
When you cast this spell, for each opponent, gain control of up to one target creature that player controls until end of turn. Untap those creatures. They gain trample, haste, and annihilator 1 until end of turn.
Trample, haste, annihilator 1

Exocrine

Ravenous (This creature enters the battlefield with X +1/+1 counters on it. If X is 5 or more, draw a card when it enters.)
Bio-plasmic Barrage — When Exocrine enters the battlefield, it deals X damage to each player and each other creature.

Synth Eradicator

Haste
Whenever Synth Eradicator attacks, exile the top card of your library. You may get {E}{E} (two energy counters). If you don't, you may play that card this turn.
{T}, Pay {E}{E}{E}: Synth Eradicator deals 3 damage to any target.

Sibylline Soothsayer

Temporal Foresight — When Sibylline Soothsayer enters the battlefield, reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a nonland card with mana value 3 or greater. Exile that card with three time counters on it. If it doesn't have suspend, it gains suspend. Put the rest of the revealed cards on the bottom of your library in a random order.

Acolyte Hybrid

Heavy Rock Cutter — Whenever Acolyte Hybrid attacks, destroy up to one target artifact. If an artifact is destroyed this way, its controller draws a card.

Detective's Phoenix

Bestow—{R}, Collect evidence 6. (To pay this bestow cost, pay {R} and exile cards with total mana value 6 or greater from your graveyard.)
Flying, haste
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and has flying and haste.
You may cast Detective's Phoenix from your graveyard using its bestow ability.

Scrapwork Mutt

When Scrapwork Mutt enters the battlefield, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.
Unearth {1}{R} ({1}{R}: Return this card from your graveyard to the battlefield. It gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step or if it would leave the battlefield. Unearth only as a sorcery.)

Axiom Engraver

Axiom Engraver enters the battlefield with two oil counters on it.
{T}, Remove an oil counter from Axiom Engraver, Discard a card: Draw a card.

Bronze Walrus

When Bronze Walrus enters the battlefield, scry 2. (Look at the top two cards of your library, then put any number of them on the bottom of your library and the rest on top in any order.)
{T}: Add one mana of any color.

Rekindling Phoenix

Flying
When Rekindling Phoenix dies, create a 0/1 red Elemental creature token with "At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice this creature and return target card named Rekindling Phoenix from your graveyard to the battlefield. It gains haste until end of turn."

Flamewake Phoenix

Flying, haste
Flamewake Phoenix attacks each combat if able.
Ferocious — At the beginning of combat on your turn, if you control a creature with power 4 or greater, you may pay {R}. If you do, return Flamewake Phoenix from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Goblin Matron

When Goblin Matron enters the battlefield, you may search your library for a Goblin card, reveal that card, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Squee, Goblin Nabob

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may return Squee, Goblin Nabob from your graveyard to your hand.

Circuit Mender

When Circuit Mender enters the battlefield, you gain 2 life.
When Circuit Mender leaves the battlefield, draw a card.

Clockwork Fox

When Clockwork Fox leaves the battlefield, you draw two cards and each opponent draws a card.

Flameskull

Flying
Flameskull can't block.
Rejuvenation — When Flameskull dies, exile it. If you do, exile the top card of your library. Until the end of your next turn, you may play one of those cards. (If you cast Flameskull this way, you can't play the other card, and vice versa.)

Hollowhead Sliver

Sliver creatures you control have "{T}, Discard a card: Draw a card."

Lamplight Phoenix

Flying
When Lamplight Phoenix dies, you may exile it and collect evidence 4. If you do, return Lamplight Phoenix to the battlefield tapped. (To collect evidence 4, exile cards with total mana value 4 or greater from your graveyard.)

Rummaging Goblin

Skyscanner

Flying
When Skyscanner enters the battlefield, draw a card.

Lightning Phoenix

Flying, haste
Lightning Phoenix can't block.
At the beginning of your end step, if an opponent was dealt 3 or more damage this turn, you may pay {R}. If you do, return Lightning Phoenix from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Tuktuk the Explorer

Haste
When Tuktuk the Explorer dies, create Tuktuk the Returned, a legendary 5/5 colorless Goblin Golem artifact creature token.

Skyfire Phoenix

Flying, haste
When you cast your commander, return Skyfire Phoenix from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Breeches, Eager Pillager

First strike
Whenever a Pirate you control attacks, choose one that hasn't been chosen this turn —
• Create a Treasure token.
• Target creature can't block this turn.
• Exile the top card of your library. You may play it this turn.

Stirring Bard

Defender
When Stirring Bard enters the battlefield, you take the initiative.
Mantle of Inspiration — {T}: Target creature gains menace and haste until end of turn.

Treasure Keeper

When Treasure Keeper dies, reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a nonland card with mana value 3 or less. You may cast that card without paying its mana cost. Put all revealed cards not cast this way on the bottom of your library in a random order.

Emberwilde Captain

When Emberwilde Captain enters the battlefield, you become the monarch.
Whenever an opponent attacks you while you're the monarch, Emberwilde Captain deals damage to that player equal to the number of cards in their hand.

Bloodboil Sorcerer

When Bloodboil Sorcerer enters the battlefield, you take the initiative.
Crown of Madness — {1}{R}, Sacrifice an artifact or creature: Goad target creature. (Until your next turn, that creature attacks each combat if able and attacks a player other than you if able.)

Caves of Chaos Adventurer

Trample
When Caves of Chaos Adventurer enters the battlefield, you take the initiative.
Whenever Caves of Chaos Adventurer attacks, exile the top card of your library. If you've completed a dungeon, you may play that card this turn without paying its mana cost. Otherwise, you may play that card this turn.

Solemn Simulacrum

When Solemn Simulacrum enters the battlefield, you may search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.
When Solemn Simulacrum dies, you may draw a card.

Clone Shell

Imprint — When Clone Shell enters the battlefield, look at the top four cards of your library, exile one face down, then put the rest on the bottom of your library in any order.
When Clone Shell dies, turn the exiled card face up. If it's a creature card, put it onto the battlefield under your control.

Noise Marine

Cascade (When you cast this spell, exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card that costs less. You may cast it without paying its mana cost. Put the exiled cards on the bottom in a random order.)
Sonic Blaster — When Noise Marine enters the battlefield, it deals damage equal to the number of spells you've cast this turn to any target.

Oxidda Golem

Affinity for Mountains (This spell costs {1} less to cast for each Mountain you control.)
Haste

Redcap Gutter-Dweller

Menace
When Redcap Gutter-Dweller enters the battlefield, create two 1/1 black Rat creature tokens with "This creature can't block."
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may sacrifice another creature. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on Redcap Gutter-Dweller and exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn.

Geological Appraiser

When Geological Appraiser enters the battlefield, if you cast it, discover 3. (Exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card with mana value 3 or less. Cast it without paying its mana cost or put it into your hand. Put the rest on the bottom in a random order.)

Captivating Crew

{3}{R}: Gain control of target creature an opponent controls until end of turn. Untap that creature. It gains haste until end of turn. Activate only as a sorcery.

Academy Raider

Intimidate (This creature can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or creatures that share a color with it.)
Whenever Academy Raider deals combat damage to a player, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.

Coercive Recruiter

Whenever Coercive Recruiter or another Pirate enters the battlefield under your control, gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature. Until end of turn, it gains haste and becomes a Pirate in addition to its other types.

Boarding Party

Haste
Cascade (When you cast this spell, exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card that costs less. You may cast it without paying its mana cost. Put the exiled cards on the bottom in a random order.)

Calamity, Galloping Inferno

Haste
Whenever Calamity, Galloping Inferno attacks while saddled, choose a nonlegendary creature that saddled it this turn and create a tapped and attacking token that's a copy of it. Sacrifice that token at the beginning of the next end step. Repeat this process once.
Saddle 1

Firbolg Flutist

Enthralling Performance — When Firbolg Flutist enters the battlefield, gain control of target creature you don't control until end of turn. Untap it. It gains haste and myriad until end of turn. (Whenever it attacks, for each opponent other than defending player, you may create a token copy that's tapped and attacking that player or a planeswalker they control. Exile the tokens at end of combat.)

Flayer of the Hatebound

Undying (When this creature dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)
Whenever Flayer of the Hatebound or another creature enters the battlefield from your graveyard, that creature deals damage equal to its power to any target.

Godo, Bandit Warlord

When Godo, Bandit Warlord enters the battlefield, you may search your library for an Equipment card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.
Whenever Godo attacks for the first time each turn, untap it and all Samurai you control. After this phase, there is an additional combat phase.

Oblivion Sower

When you cast this spell, target opponent exiles the top four cards of their library, then you may put any number of land cards that player owns from exile onto the battlefield under your control.

Ryusei, the Falling Star

Flying
When Ryusei, the Falling Star dies, it deals 5 damage to each creature without flying.

Trumpeting Carnosaur

Trample
When Trumpeting Carnosaur enters the battlefield, discover 5.
{2}{R}, Discard Trumpeting Carnosaur: It deals 3 damage to target creature or planeswalker.

Angrath's Marauders

If a source you control would deal damage to a permanent or player, it deals double that damage to that permanent or player instead.

Havoc Eater

Flying
When Havoc Eater enters the battlefield, for each opponent, goad up to one target creature that opponent controls. Put X +1/+1 counters on Havoc Eater, where X is the total power of creatures goaded this way.

Molten Primordial

Haste
When Molten Primordial enters the battlefield, for each opponent, gain control of up to one target creature that player controls until end of turn. Untap those creatures. They gain haste until end of turn.

Tyrant's Familiar

Flying, haste
Lieutenant — As long as you control your commander, Tyrant's Familiar gets +2/+2 and has "Whenever Tyrant's Familiar attacks, it deals 7 damage to target creature defending player controls."

Herigast, Erupting Nullkite

Emerge {6}{R}{R} (You may cast this spell by sacrificing a creature and paying the emerge cost reduced by that creature's mana value.)
When you cast this spell, you may exile your hand. If you do, draw three cards.
Flying
Each creature spell you cast has emerge. The emerge cost is equal to its mana cost.

Containment Construct

Whenever you discard a card, you may exile that card from your graveyard. If you do, you may play that card this turn.

Veronica, Dissident Scribe

Menace
Whenever Veronica, Dissident Scribe attacks, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.
Whenever you discard one or more nonland cards for the first time each turn, create a Junk token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn. Activate only as a sorcery.")

Neheb, Dreadhorde Champion

Trample
Whenever Neheb, Dreadhorde Champion deals combat damage to a player or planeswalker, you may discard any number of cards. If you do, draw that many cards and add that much {R}. Until end of turn, you don't lose this mana as steps and phases end.

Hazoret's Monument

Red creature spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
Whenever you cast a creature spell, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.

Coveted Jewel

When Coveted Jewel enters the battlefield, draw three cards.
{T}: Add three mana of any one color.
Whenever one or more creatures an opponent controls attack you and aren't blocked, that player draws three cards and gains control of Coveted Jewel. Untap it.

Zoyowa's Justice

The owner of target artifact or creature with mana value 1 or greater shuffles it into their library. Then that player discovers X, where X is its mana value. (They exile cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card with that mana value or less. They cast it without paying its mana cost or put it into their hand. They put the rest on the bottom in a random order.)

Chaos Warp

The owner of target permanent shuffles it into their library, then reveals the top card of their library. If it's a permanent card, they put it onto the battlefield.

Arcane Signet

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Seize the Spotlight

Each opponent chooses fame or fortune. For each player who chose fame, gain control of a creature that player controls until end of turn. Untap those creatures and they gain haste until end of turn. For each player who chose fortune, you draw a card and create a Treasure token.

Imposing Grandeur

Each player may discard their hand and draw cards equal to the greatest mana value of a commander they own on the battlefield or in the command zone.

War Room

{T}: Add {C}.
{3}, {T}, Pay life equal to the number of colors in your commanders' color identity: Draw a card.

Wild Magic Surge

Destroy target permanent an opponent controls. Its controller reveals cards from the top of their library until they reveal a permanent card that shares a card type with that permanent. They put that card onto the battlefield and the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order.

Kaldra Compleat

Living weapon
Indestructible
Equipped creature gets +5/+5 and has first strike, trample, indestructible, haste, and "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a creature, exile that creature."
Equip {7}

Visions of Ruin

Each opponent sacrifices an artifact. For each artifact sacrificed this way, you create a Treasure token.
Flashback {8}{R}{R}. This spell costs {X} less to cast this way, where X is the greatest mana value of a commander you own on the battlefield or in the command zone. (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Myojin of Roaring Blades

Myojin of Roaring Blades enters the battlefield with an indestructible counter on it if you cast it from your hand.
Remove an indestructible counter from Myojin of Roaring Blades: It deals 7 damage to each of up to three targets.

Artisan of Kozilek

When you cast this spell, you may return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield.
Annihilator 2 (Whenever this creature attacks, defending player sacrifices two permanents.)

Skitterbeam Battalion

Prototype {3}{R}{R} — 2/2 (You may cast this spell with different mana cost, color, and size. It keeps its abilities and types.)
Trample, haste
When Skitterbeam Battalion enters the battlefield, if you cast it, create two tokens that are copies of it.

Ancient Stone Idol

Flash
This spell costs {1} less to cast for each attacking creature.
Trample
When Ancient Stone Idol dies, create a 6/12 colorless Construct artifact creature token with trample.

Desolation Twin

When you cast this spell, create a 10/10 colorless Eldrazi creature token.

Share the Spoils

When Share the Spoils enters the battlefield or an opponent loses the game, exile the top card of each player's library.
During each player's turn, that player may play a land or cast a spell from among cards exiled with Share the Spoils, and they may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast that spell. When they do, exile the top card of their library.

Sol Ring

Blasphemous Act

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each creature on the battlefield.
Blasphemous Act deals 13 damage to each creature.

Magus of the Wheel

{1}{R}, {T}, Sacrifice Magus of the Wheel: Each player discards their hand, then draws seven cards.

Combustible Gearhulk

First strike
When Combustible Gearhulk enters the battlefield, target opponent may have you draw three cards. If the player doesn't, you mill three cards, then Combustible Gearhulk deals damage to that player equal to the total mana value of those cards.

Ruin Grinder

Menace
When Ruin Grinder dies, each player may discard their hand and draw seven cards.
Mountaincycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Search your library for a Mountain card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.)

Dragon Mage

Flying
Whenever Dragon Mage deals combat damage to a player, each player discards their hand, then draws seven cards.

Dream Pillager

Flying
Whenever Dream Pillager deals combat damage to a player, exile that many cards from the top of your library. Until end of turn, you may cast spells from among those exiled cards.

Knollspine Dragon

Flying
When Knollspine Dragon enters the battlefield, you may discard your hand and draw cards equal to the damage dealt to target opponent this turn.

Sandstone Oracle

Flying
When Sandstone Oracle enters the battlefield, choose an opponent. If that player has more cards in hand than you, draw cards equal to the difference.

Skyline Despot

Flying
When Skyline Despot enters the battlefield, you become the monarch.
At the beginning of your upkeep, if you're the monarch, create a 5/5 red Dragon creature token with flying.

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