Big Boa Constrictor

When this creature enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. Target opponent loses life equal to the result.

capital offense

target creature gets -x/-x until end of turn, where x is the number of times a capital letter appears in its rules text. (ignore reminder text and flavor text.)

Ninja

You may activate Ninja's augment ability any time you could cast an instant.
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player,
Augment {2}{B} ({2}{B}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as—oh, never mind.)

Zombified

{4}{B}: Combine Zombified from your graveyard with target host.
{2}{B}, Exile a creature card from your graveyard:
Augment {4}{B} ({4}{B}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Bumbling Pangolin

When this creature enters the battlefield, you may destroy target artifact.

Feisty Stegosaurus

When this creature enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. This creature deals damage equal to the result to target creature an opponent controls.

Half-Orc, Half-

Trample
At the beginning of each end step, if an opponent was dealt damage this turn,
Augment {1}{R}{R} ({1}{R}{R}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Party Crasher

Haste
You can attack with Party Crasher once each combat during each opponent's turn.

Three-Headed Goblin

Triple strike (This creature deals first-strike, regular, and last-strike combat damage.)

Baron Von Count

Baron Von Count enters the battlefield with a doom counter on "5."
Whenever you cast a spell with the indicated numeral in its mana cost, text box, power, or toughness, move the doom counter one numeral to the left.
When the doom counter moves from "1," destroy target player and put that doom counter on "5."

Grusilda, Monster Masher

Combined, enchanted, and equipped creatures you control have menace.
{3}{B}{R}, {T}: Put two target creature cards from graveyards onto the battlefield combined into one creature under your control. (Its power is equal to their total power, its toughness is equal to their total toughness, and it has their names, mana costs, types, text boxes, etc.)

Angelic Rocket

Flying
When this creature enters the battlefield, you may destroy target nonland permanent.

Border Guardian

Whenever you cast a silver-bordered spell, put a +1/+1 counter on Border Guardian.
Whenever you cast a black-bordered spell, Border Guardian can't be blocked this turn.
Whenever you cast a white-bordered spell, Border Guardian gains double strike until end of turn.

Labro Bot

When this creature enters the battlefield, return target host card or card with augment from your graveyard to your hand.

Mad Science Fair Project

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or lower, target player adds {C}. Otherwise, that player adds one mana of any color they choose.

Modular Monstrosity

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you have five seconds to choose a keyword you haven't chosen for a card named Modular Monstrosity today that's been printed on a creature card. If you do, Modular Monstrosity gains that ability. Otherwise, Modular Monstrosity loses all keyword abilities.

Robo-

At the beginning of each end step, if an artifact entered the battlefield under your control this turn,
Augment {2} ({2}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Voracious Vacuum

When this creature enters the battlefield, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.

Thundermaw Hellkite

Flying
Haste (This creature can attack and {T} as soon as it comes under your control.)
When Thundermaw Hellkite enters the battlefield, it deals 1 damage to each creature with flying your opponents control. Tap those creatures.

Graven Cairns

{T}: Add {C}.
{B/R}, {T}: Add {B}{B}, {B}{R}, or {R}{R}.

Dragonskull Summit

Dragonskull Summit enters the battlefield tapped unless you control a Swamp or a Mountain.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Mirage Mirror

{2}: Mirage Mirror becomes a copy of target artifact, creature, enchantment, or land until end of turn.

Banshee of the Dread Choir

Myriad (Whenever this creature attacks, for each opponent other than defending player, you may create a token copy that's tapped and attacking that player or a planeswalker they control. Exile the tokens at end of combat.)
Whenever Banshee of the Dread Choir deals combat damage to a player, that player discards a card.

Liliana's Specter

Flying
When Liliana's Specter enters the battlefield, each opponent discards a card.

Reforge the Soul

Each player discards their hand, then draws seven cards.
Miracle {1}{R} (You may cast this card for its miracle cost when you draw it if it's the first card you drew this turn.)

Homeward Path

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Each player gains control of all creatures they own.

Reflecting Pool

{T}: Add one mana of any type that a land you control could produce.

Sepulchral Primordial

Intimidate (This creature can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or creatures that share a color with it.)
When Sepulchral Primordial enters the battlefield, for each opponent, you may put up to one target creature card from that player's graveyard onto the battlefield under your control.

Molten Primordial

Haste
When Molten Primordial enters the battlefield, for each opponent, gain control of up to one target creature that player controls until end of turn. Untap those creatures. They gain haste until end of turn.

Blazing Specter

Flying, haste
Whenever Blazing Specter deals combat damage to a player, that player discards a card.

Burning Inquiry

Each player draws three cards, then discards three cards at random.

Stronghold Rats

Shadow (This creature can block or be blocked by only creatures with shadow.)
Whenever Stronghold Rats deals combat damage to a player, each player discards a card.

Kill! Destroy!

Destroy target nonblack creature.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand.

Deal Damage

Deal Damage deals 4 damage to any target.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "deal" or "damage," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand.

Frazzled Editor

Protection from wordy (Something is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)

Pygmy Giant

{R}, {T}, Sacrifice a creature: Pygmy Giant deals X damage to target creature, where X is a number in the sacrificed creature's text box.

My First Tome

{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and they guessed wrong, you draw a card.

Whenever a creature deals damage to a player, that player may say "Ow" once for each permanent named Ow. If the player doesn't, Ow deals 1 damage to them.

Goblin Bowling Team

If Goblin Bowling Team would deal damage to a permanent or player, it deals that much damage plus the result of a six-sided die roll to that permanent or player instead.

Anvil of Bogardan

Players have no maximum hand size.
At the beginning of each player's draw step, that player draws an additional card, then discards a card.

Wheel of Fortune

Each player discards their hand, then draws seven cards.

Oblivion Stone

{4}, {T}: Put a fate counter on target permanent.
{5}, {T}, Sacrifice Oblivion Stone: Destroy each nonland permanent without a fate counter on it, then remove all fate counters from all permanents.

Warchief Giant

Haste
Myriad (Whenever this creature attacks, for each opponent other than defending player, you may create a token copy that's tapped and attacking that player or a planeswalker they control. Exile the tokens at end of combat.)

Syphon Mind

Each other player discards a card. You draw a card for each card discarded this way.

Worn Powerstone

Worn Powerstone enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {C}{C}.

Blasphemous Act

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each creature on the battlefield.
Blasphemous Act deals 13 damage to each creature.

Prismatic Lens

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}: Add one mana of any color.

Blood Crypt

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
As Blood Crypt enters the battlefield, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters the battlefield tapped.

Rakdos Signet

Dragon Mage

Flying
Whenever Dragon Mage deals combat damage to a player, each player discards their hand, then draws seven cards.

Arcane Signet

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Geier Reach Sanitarium

{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}: Each player draws a card, then discards a card.

Flayer of the Hatebound

Undying (When this creature dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)
Whenever Flayer of the Hatebound or another creature enters the battlefield from your graveyard, that creature deals damage equal to its power to any target.

Rix Maadi, Dungeon Palace

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}{B}{R}, {T}: Each player discards a card. Activate only as a sorcery.

Rakdos Locket

{T}: Add {B} or {R}.
{B/R}{B/R}{B/R}{B/R}, {T}, Sacrifice Rakdos Locket: Draw two cards.

Hedron Archive

{T}: Add {C}{C}.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice Hedron Archive: Draw two cards.

Command Tower

Rogue's Passage

{T}: Add {C}.
{4}, {T}: Target creature can't be blocked this turn.

Bojuka Bog

Bojuka Bog enters the battlefield tapped.
When Bojuka Bog enters the battlefield, exile target player's graveyard.
{T}: Add {B}.

Mind Stone

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice Mind Stone: Draw a card.

Lightning Greaves

Equipped creature has haste and shroud. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities.)
Equip {0}

Chromatic Lantern

Lands you control have "{T}: Add one mana of any color."
{T}: Add one mana of any color.

Wheel of Fate

Suspend 4—{1}{R} (Rather than cast this card from your hand, pay {1}{R} and exile it with four time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter. When the last is removed, you may cast it without paying its mana cost.)
Each player discards their hand, then draws seven cards.

Ingot Chewer

When Ingot Chewer enters the battlefield, destroy target artifact.
Evoke {R} (You may cast this spell for its evoke cost. If you do, it's sacrificed when it enters the battlefield.)

Ravenous Chupacabra

When Ravenous Chupacabra enters the battlefield, destroy target creature an opponent controls.

Bat-

Flying
At the beginning of each end step, if an opponent lost 3 or more life this turn,
Augment {1}{B} ({1}{B}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Mountain

Swamp

Sword of Dungeons & Dragons

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.
Equip {2}

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

Strategy, Schmategy

Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.
1 — Do nothing.
2 — Destroy all artifacts.
3 — Destroy all lands.
4 — Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.
5 — Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.
6 — Repeat this process two more times.

Goblin Tutor

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
2 — A card named Goblin Tutor
3 — An enchantment
4 — An artifact
5 — A creature
6 — An instant or sorcery

Common Iguana

When this creature enters the battlefield, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.

Jumbo Imp

Flying
As Jumbo Imp enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. Jumbo Imp enters the battlefield with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die and put a number of +1/+1 counters on Jumbo Imp equal to the result.
At the beginning of your end step, roll a six-sided die and remove a number of +1/+1 counters from Jumbo Imp equal to the result.

Inhumaniac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or 4, put a +1/+1 counter on Inhumaniac. On a 5 or higher, put two +1/+1 counters on it. On a 1, remove all +1/+1 counters from Inhumaniac.

Dirty Rat

When this creature enters the battlefield, target opponent discards a card.

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