Mother of Goons

Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, sacrifice Mother of Goons unless you insult that creature.

Extractor Demon

Flying
Whenever another creature leaves the battlefield, you may have target player mill two cards.
Unearth {2}{B} ({2}{B}: Return this card from your graveyard to the battlefield. It gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step or if it would leave the battlefield. Unearth only as a sorcery.)

Grindstone

{3}, {T}: Target player mills two cards. If two cards that share a color were milled this way, repeat this process.

Oppression

Whenever a player casts a spell, that player discards a card.

Monomania

Target player chooses a card in their hand and discards the rest.

Attempted Murder

Choose target creature. Roll X six-sided dice. For each even result, put two -1/-1 counters on that creature. For each odd result, create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.

Hoisted Hireling

Hoisted Hireling has flying as long as it's being held above the battlefield.

Grusilda, Monster Masher

Combined, enchanted, and equipped creatures you control have menace.
{3}{B}{R}, {T}: Put two target creature cards from graveyards onto the battlefield combined into one creature under your control. (Its power is equal to their total power, its toughness is equal to their total toughness, and it has their names, mana costs, types, text boxes, etc.)

Extremely Slow Zombie

Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)

Hangman

As Hangman enters, secretly note a word with six to eight letters.
{1}: Target player who doesn't control Hangman guesses the noted word or an unguessed letter in that word. If they guess wrong, put a +1/+1 counter on Hangman. Any player may activate this ability.
When a player guesses the noted word or all of its letters, sacrifice Hangman.

Summon the Pack

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put all creature cards revealed this way onto the battlefield under your control. They're Zombies in addition to their other types. (Remove those cards from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Just Desserts

Just Desserts deals π damage to target creature. (π is the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. (It's a smidgen more than 3.))

Party Crasher

Haste
You can attack with Party Crasher once each combat during each opponent's turn.

Three-Headed Goblin

Triple strike (This creature deals first-strike, regular, and last-strike combat damage.)

Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle

As Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle enters, you and an opponent each secretly choose Whack or Doodle. Then those choices are revealed. If the choices match, Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle has that ability. Otherwise, it has Buzz.
• Whack — {T}: Target player loses 2 life.
• Doodle — {T}: You gain 3 life.
• Buzz — {2}, {T}: Draw a card.

Split Screen

When Split Screen enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When Split Screen leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Grisly Spectacle

Destroy target nonartifact creature. Its controller mills cards equal to that creature's power.

Mindcrank

Whenever an opponent loses life, that player mills that many cards. (Damage causes loss of life.)

Anger

Haste
As long as Anger is in your graveyard and you control a Mountain, creatures you control have haste.

Worldgorger Dragon

Flying, trample
When Worldgorger Dragon enters, exile all other permanents you control.
When Worldgorger Dragon leaves the battlefield, return the exiled cards to the battlefield under their owners' control.

Dark Deal

Each player discards all the cards in their hand, then draws that many cards minus one.

Grindclock

{T}: Put a charge counter on Grindclock.
{T}: Target player mills X cards, where X is the number of charge counters on Grindclock.

Terminate

Destroy target creature. It can't be regenerated.

Bad Ass

Kill! Destroy!

Destroy target nonblack creature.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand.

Stop That

Target player discards a card.
Gotcha — If an opponent audibly flicks the cards in their hand, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Stop That from your graveyard to your hand.

Tainted Monkey

{T}: Choose a word. Target player mills a card. If a card with the chosen word in its text box was milled this way, they lose 3 life.

Wet Willie of the Damned

Wet Willie of the Damned deals 2½ damage to any target and you gain 2½ life.

Zzzyxas's Abyss

At the beginning of your upkeep, destroy all nonland permanents with the first name alphabetically among nonland permanents.

Deal Damage

Deal Damage deals 4 damage to any target.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "deal" or "damage," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand.

Dumb Ass

At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, target opponent chooses whether Dumb Ass attacks this turn.

Face to Face

You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.

Frazzled Editor

Protection from wordy (Something is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)

Goblin Secret Agent

First strike
At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal a card from your hand at random.

Rocket-Powered Turbo Slug

Super haste (This may attack the turn before you cast it. (You may put this card from your hand onto the battlefield tapped and attacking during your declare attackers step. If you do, you lose the game at the beginning of your next turn's end step unless you pay this card's mana cost during that turn.))

Mana Screw

{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate only as an instant.

Togglodyte

Togglodyte enters turned on.
Whenever a player casts a spell, toggle Togglodyte's ON/OFF switch.
As long as Togglodyte is turned off, it can't attack or block, and prevent all damage it would deal.

City of Ass

City of Ass enters tapped.
{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

Whenever a creature deals damage to a player, that player may say "Ow" once for each permanent named Ow. If the player doesn't, Ow deals 1 damage to them.

Ricochet

Whenever a player casts a spell that targets a single player, each player rolls a six-sided die. Change the target of that spell to the player with the lowest result. Reroll to break ties, if necessary.

Mirror Mirror

Mirror Mirror enters tapped.
{7}, {T}, Sacrifice Mirror Mirror: Choose target player. At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with that player, exchange control of all permanents you and that player control, and exchange cards in your hands, cards in your libraries, and cards in your graveyards.

Syphon Mind

Each other player discards a card. You draw a card for each card discarded this way.

Vicious Rumors

Vicious Rumors deals 1 damage to each opponent. Each opponent discards a card, then mills a card. You gain 1 life.

Buried Alive

Search your library for up to three creature cards, put them into your graveyard, then shuffle.

Captive Audience

Captive Audience enters under the control of an opponent of your choice.
At the beginning of your upkeep, choose one that hasn't been chosen —
• Your life total becomes 4.
• Discard your hand.
• Each opponent creates five 2/2 black Zombie creature tokens.

Lightning Skelemental

Trample, haste
Whenever Lightning Skelemental deals combat damage to a player, that player discards two cards.
At the beginning of the end step, sacrifice Lightning Skelemental.

Altar of Dementia

Sacrifice a creature: Target player mills cards equal to the sacrificed creature's power.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

Six-y Beast

As Six-y Beast enters, you secretly put six or fewer +1/+1 counters on it, then an opponent guesses the number of counters. If that player guesses right, sacrifice Six-y Beast after it enters.

Infinity Elemental

Jumbo Imp

Flying
As Jumbo Imp enters, roll a six-sided die. Jumbo Imp enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die and put a number of +1/+1 counters on Jumbo Imp equal to the result.
At the beginning of your end step, roll a six-sided die and remove a number of +1/+1 counters from Jumbo Imp equal to the result.

Inhumaniac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or 4, put a +1/+1 counter on Inhumaniac. On a 5 or higher, put two +1/+1 counters on it. On a 1, remove all +1/+1 counters from Inhumaniac.

Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike
{1}{B}, Reveal Infernal Spawn of Evil from your hand, Say "It's coming!": Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 1 damage to target opponent or planeswalker. Activate only during your upkeep and only once each turn.

Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Booster Tutor

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of them into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Cathartic Reunion

As an additional cost to cast this spell, discard two cards.
Draw three cards.

Swamp

Thoughtseize

Target player reveals their hand. You choose a nonland card from it. That player discards that card. You lose 2 life.

Mountain

Syr Konrad, the Grim

Whenever another creature dies, or a creature card is put into a graveyard from anywhere other than the battlefield, or a creature card leaves your graveyard, Syr Konrad, the Grim deals 1 damage to each opponent.
{1}{B}: Each player mills a card. (They each put the top card of their library into their graveyard.)

Kroxa, Titan of Death's Hunger

When Kroxa enters, sacrifice it unless it escaped.
Whenever Kroxa enters or attacks, each opponent discards a card, then each opponent who didn't discard a nonland card this way loses 3 life.
Escape—{B}{B}{R}{R}, Exile five other cards from your graveyard. (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its escape cost.)

Thrill of Possibility

As an additional cost to cast this spell, discard a card.
Draw two cards.

Sign in Blood

Target player draws two cards and loses 2 life.

Faithless Looting

Draw two cards, then discard two cards.
Flashback {2}{R} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Geier Reach Sanitarium

{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}: Each player draws a card, then discards a card.

Temple of Malice

Temple of Malice enters tapped.
When Temple of Malice enters, scry 1.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Shadowgrange Archfiend

When Shadowgrange Archfiend enters, each opponent sacrifices a creature with the greatest power among creatures they control. You gain life equal to the greatest power among creatures sacrificed this way.
Madness—{2}{B}, Pay 8 life. (If you discard this card, discard it into exile. When you do, cast it for its madness cost or put it into your graveyard.)

Rakdos Charm

Choose one —
• Exile target player's graveyard.
• Destroy target artifact.
• Each creature deals 1 damage to its controller.

Rakdos Carnarium

Rakdos Carnarium enters tapped.
When Rakdos Carnarium enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand.
{T}: Add {B}{R}.

Water Gun Balloon Game

As Water Gun Balloon Game enters, each player puts a pop! counter on "0."
Whenever a player casts a spell, move that player's pop! counter up one.
Whenever a player's pop! counter hits "5," that player creates a 5/5 pink Giant Teddy Bear creature token and resets all pop! counters to "0."

Ox of Agonas

When Ox of Agonas enters, discard your hand, then draw three cards.
Escape—{R}{R}, Exile eight other cards from your graveyard. (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its escape cost.)
Ox of Agonas escapes with a +1/+1 counter on it.

Jaxis, the Troublemaker

{R}, {T}, Discard a card: Create a token that's a copy of another target creature you control. It gains haste and "When this creature dies, draw a card." Sacrifice it at the beginning of the next end step. Activate only as a sorcery.
Blitz {1}{R} (If you cast this spell for its blitz cost, it gains haste and "When this creature dies, draw a card." Sacrifice it at the beginning of the next end step.)

Feed the Swarm

Destroy target creature or enchantment an opponent controls. You lose life equal to that permanent's mana value.

Magus of the Wheel

{1}{R}, {T}, Sacrifice Magus of the Wheel: Each player discards their hand, then draws seven cards.

Chaos Warp

The owner of target permanent shuffles it into their library, then reveals the top card of their library. If it's a permanent card, they put it onto the battlefield.

Smoldering Marsh

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
Smoldering Marsh enters tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Giant Fan

{2}, {T}: Move a counter from one permanent onto another. If the second permanent refers to any kind of counter, the moved counter becomes one of those counters. Otherwise, it becomes a +1/+1 counter.

Junji, the Midnight Sky

Flying, menace
When Junji, the Midnight Sky dies, choose one —
• Each opponent discards two cards and loses 2 life.
• Put target non-Dragon creature card from a graveyard onto the battlefield under your control. You lose 2 life.

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