Hot Soup

Equipped creature can't be blocked.
Whenever equipped creature is dealt damage, destroy it.
Equip {3} ({3}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Extremely Slow Zombie

Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Charm School

As Charm School enters, choose a color and balance Charm School on your head.
Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you by sources of the chosen color.
When Charm School falls off your head, sacrifice Charm School.

Canyon Minotaur

Sizzle

Gimme Five

You gain 1 life for each person who high-fives you in the next thirty seconds. Each player in an Un-game who high-fives you gains 1 life. (Offer high fives. Don't hit people.)

Knight of the Hokey Pokey

First strike
{1}{W}, Do the Hokey Pokey: Prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to Knight of the Hokey Pokey this turn. (To do the Hokey Pokey, choose an arm, a leg, or your whole self and put it in. Put it out. Put it in. Shake it all about. You do the Hokey Pokey! Turn yourself around.)

Etali, Primal Storm

Whenever Etali, Primal Storm attacks, exile the top card of each player's library, then you may cast any number of spells from among those cards without paying their mana costs.

Boompile

{T}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, destroy all nonland permanents.

Thieves' Auction

Exile all nontoken permanents. Starting with you, each player chooses one of the exiled cards and puts it onto the battlefield tapped under their control. Repeat this process until all cards exiled this way have been chosen.

Game of Chaos

Flip a coin. If you win the flip, you gain 1 life and target opponent loses 1 life, and you decide whether to flip again. If you lose the flip, you lose 1 life and that opponent gains 1 life, and that player decides whether to flip again. Double the life stakes with each flip.

Omen Machine

Players can't draw cards.
At the beginning of each player's draw step, that player exiles the top card of their library. If it's a land card, the player puts it onto the battlefield. Otherwise, the player casts it without paying its mana cost if able.

Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Farewell to Arms

As Farewell to Arms enters, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm.
When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice Farewell to Arms. If you do, that player discards their hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.)

Nomad Outpost

Nomad Outpost enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R}, {W}, or {B}.

Temple of Malice

Temple of Malice enters tapped.
When Temple of Malice enters, scry 1.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Temple of Triumph

Temple of Triumph enters tapped.
When Temple of Triumph enters, scry 1.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}.

Graven Cairns

{T}: Add {C}.
{B/R}, {T}: Add {B}{B}, {B}{R}, or {R}{R}.

Rugged Prairie

{T}: Add {C}.
{R/W}, {T}: Add {R}{R}, {R}{W}, or {W}{W}.

Mountain

Plains

Swamp

Restless Vents

Restless Vents enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.
{1}{B}{R}: Until end of turn, Restless Vents becomes a 2/3 black and red Insect creature with menace. It's still a land.
Whenever Restless Vents attacks, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.

Aesthetic Consultation

Choose an artist. Exile the top six cards of your library, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card with art by the chosen artist. Put that card in your hand and exile all other cards revealed this way.

Adorable Kitten

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

Terramorphic Expanse

{T}, Sacrifice Terramorphic Expanse: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Ankle Shanker

Haste
Whenever Ankle Shanker attacks, creatures you control gain first strike and deathtouch until end of turn.

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