capital offense

target creature gets -x/-x until end of turn, where x is the number of times a capital letter appears in its rules text. (ignore reminder text and flavor text.)

Hangman

As Hangman enters the battlefield, secretly note a word with six to eight letters.
{1}: Target player who doesn't control Hangman guesses the noted word or an unguessed letter in that word. If they guess wrong, put a +1/+1 counter on Hangman. Any player may activate this ability.
When a player guesses the noted word or all of its letters, sacrifice Hangman.

Hazmat Suit (Used)

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+1 and has menace.
Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches enchanted creature, that player loses 2 life.

Hoisted Hireling

Hoisted Hireling has flying as long as it's being held above the battlefield.

Inhumaniac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or 4, put a +1/+1 counter on Inhumaniac. On a 5 or higher, put two +1/+1 counters on it. On a 1, remove all +1/+1 counters from Inhumaniac.

Over My Dead Bodies

Creature cards in graveyards can attack and block as though they were on the battlefield, can block or be blocked only by creature cards in graveyards, are Zombies in addition to their other types, and have undeathtouch. (If they would deal damage to a creature card, exile that creature card instead.)
Creature cards in your graveyard have haste.

"Rumors of My Death . . ."

{3}{B}, Exile a permanent you control with a League of Dastardly Doom watermark: Return a permanent card with a League of Dastardly Doom watermark from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Skull Saucer

Flying
When Skull Saucer enters the battlefield, destroy target creature and put your head on the table. Sacrifice Skull Saucer when your head stops touching the table.

Snickering Squirrel

You may tap Snickering Squirrel to increase the result of a die any player rolled by 1.

Squirrel-Powered Scheme

Increase the result of each die you roll by 2.

Steady-Handed Mook

Deathtouch
When Steady-Handed Mook enters the battlefield, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Summon the Pack

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put all creature cards revealed this way onto the battlefield under your control. They're Zombies in addition to their other types. (Remove those cards from your deck before beginning a new game.)

The Big Idea

{2}{B/R}{B/R}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Brainiac creature tokens equal to the result.
Tap three untapped Brainiacs you control: The next time you would roll a six-sided die, instead roll two six-sided dice and use the total of those results.

Garbage Elemental

When Garbage Elemental enters the battlefield, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)
Undying (When this creature dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)

It That Gets Left Hanging

When It That Gets Left Hanging enters the battlefield, ask a person outside the game to high-five you. If they won't, It That Gets Left Hanging gains haste until end of turn.

Painiac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. Painiac gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result.

Super-Duper Death Ray

Trample (This spell can deal excess damage to its target's controller.)
Super-Duper Death Ray deals 4 damage to target creature.

Baron Von Count

Baron Von Count enters the battlefield with a doom counter on "5."
Whenever you cast a spell with the indicated numeral in its mana cost, text box, power, or toughness, move the doom counter one numeral to the left.
When the doom counter moves from "1," destroy target player and put that doom counter on "5."

Grusilda, Monster Masher

Combined, enchanted, and equipped creatures you control have menace.
{3}{B}{R}, {T}: Put two target creature cards from graveyards onto the battlefield combined into one creature under your control. (Its power is equal to their total power, its toughness is equal to their total toughness, and it has their names, mana costs, types, text boxes, etc.)

Mary O'Kill

{1}{B/R}: Switch a Killbot or Mary O'Kill in your hand with one on the battlefield. (If a creature is tapped, the switched creature is tapped. The same is true for untapped, attacking, blocking, enchanted, equipped, and targeted. Any counters on a creature are on the switched creature instead.)

Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle

As Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle enters the battlefield, you and an opponent each secretly choose Whack or Doodle. Then those choices are revealed. If the choices match, Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle has that ability. Otherwise, it has Buzz.
• Whack — {T}: Target player loses 2 life.
• Doodle — {T}: You gain 3 life.
• Buzz — {2}, {T}: Draw a card.

Clock of DOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

{4}, {T}: Move the CRANK! counter to your Contraption deck's next sprocket and crank any number of that sprocket's Contraptions.

Contraption Cannon

{2}, Sacrifice Contraption Cannon: It deals damage to any target equal to the number of Contraptions you control.

Curious Killbot

Delighted Killbot

Despondent Killbot

Enraged Killbot

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

Everythingamajig

Sacrifice a land: You gain 2 life.
Sacrifice a creature: Add {C}{C}.
{2}, Discard a card: Search your library for a card that shares a complete word in its name with the name of the discarded card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Handy Dandy Clone Machine

{2}, {T}: Create a 2/2 colorless Homunculus creature token. It must be represented by a unique hand and two fingers at all times, or it ceases to exist.

Lobe Lobber

Equipped creature has "{T}: This creature deals 1 damage to target player or planeswalker. Roll a six-sided die. On a 5 or higher, untap it."
Equip {2}

Mad Science Fair Project

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or lower, target player adds {C}. Otherwise, that player adds one mana of any color they choose.

Stamp of Approval

As Stamp of Approval enters the battlefield, choose a watermark.
Creatures you control with the chosen watermark get +1/+1.

Secret Base

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell that shares a watermark with Secret Base.

Watermarket

{T}: Add {C}{C}. Spend this mana only to cast spells with watermarks.

Graven Cairns

{T}: Add {C}.
{B/R}, {T}: Add {B}{B}, {B}{R}, or {R}{R}.

Rakdos Carnarium

Rakdos Carnarium enters the battlefield tapped.
When Rakdos Carnarium enters the battlefield, return a land you control to its owner's hand.
{T}: Add {B}{R}.

Vance's Blasting Cannons

At the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top card of your library. If it's a nonland card, you may cast that card this turn.
Whenever you cast your third spell in a turn, you may transform Vance's Blasting Cannons.

Spitfire Bastion

(Transforms from Vance's Blasting Cannons.)
{T}: Add {R}.
{2}{R}, {T}: Spitfire Bastion deals 3 damage to any target.

Vance's Blasting Cannons // Spitfire Bastion

Vanquisher's Banner

As Vanquisher's Banner enters the battlefield, choose a creature type.
Creatures you control of the chosen type get +1/+1.
Whenever you cast a creature spell of the chosen type, draw a card.

Dragonskull Summit

Dragonskull Summit enters the battlefield tapped unless you control a Swamp or a Mountain.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Canyon Slough

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
Canyon Slough enters the battlefield tapped.
Cycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Rakdos Guildgate

Rakdos Guildgate enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Metallic Mimic

As Metallic Mimic enters the battlefield, choose a creature type.
Metallic Mimic is the chosen type in addition to its other types.
Each other creature you control of the chosen type enters the battlefield with an additional +1/+1 counter on it.

Foreboding Ruins

As Foreboding Ruins enters the battlefield, you may reveal a Swamp or Mountain card from your hand. If you don't, Foreboding Ruins enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Stoneforge Masterwork

Equipped creature gets +1/+1 for each other creature you control that shares a creature type with it.
Equip {2}

Cinder Barrens

Cinder Barrens enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Smoldering Marsh

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
Smoldering Marsh enters the battlefield tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Ghostly Changeling

Changeling (This card is every creature type.)
{1}{B}: Ghostly Changeling gets +1/+1 until end of turn.

Bloodfell Caves

Bloodfell Caves enters the battlefield tapped.
When Bloodfell Caves enters the battlefield, you gain 1 life.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Obelisk of Urd

Convoke (Your creatures can help cast this spell. Each creature you tap while casting this spell pays for {1} or one mana of that creature's color.)
As Obelisk of Urd enters the battlefield, choose a creature type.
Creatures you control of the chosen type get +2/+2.

Swamp

Mountain

Door of Destinies

As Door of Destinies enters the battlefield, choose a creature type.
Whenever you cast a spell of the chosen type, put a charge counter on Door of Destinies.
Creatures you control of the chosen type get +1/+1 for each charge counter on Door of Destinies.

War-Spike Changeling

Changeling (This card is every creature type.)
{R}: War-Spike Changeling gains first strike until end of turn.

Evolving Wilds

{T}, Sacrifice Evolving Wilds: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Adaptive Automaton

As Adaptive Automaton enters the battlefield, choose a creature type.
Adaptive Automaton is the chosen type in addition to its other types.
Other creatures you control of the chosen type get +1/+1.

Akoum Refuge

Akoum Refuge enters the battlefield tapped.
When Akoum Refuge enters the battlefield, you gain 1 life.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Moonglove Changeling

Changeling (This card is every creature type.)
{B}: Moonglove Changeling gains deathtouch until end of turn. (Any amount of damage it deals to a creature is enough to destroy that creature.)

Taurean Mauler

Changeling (This card is every creature type.)
Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you may put a +1/+1 counter on Taurean Mauler.

Cairn Wanderer

Changeling (This card is every creature type.)
As long as a creature card with flying is in a graveyard, Cairn Wanderer has flying. The same is true for fear, first strike, double strike, deathtouch, haste, landwalk, lifelink, protection, reach, trample, shroud, and vigilance.

Skeletal Changeling

Changeling (This card is every creature type.)
{1}{B}: Regenerate Skeletal Changeling.

Changeling Berserker

Changeling (This card is every creature type.)
Haste
Champion a creature (When this enters the battlefield, sacrifice it unless you exile another creature you control. When this leaves the battlefield, that card returns to the battlefield.)

Fire-Belly Changeling

Changeling (This card is every creature type.)
{R}: Fire-Belly Changeling gets +1/+0 until end of turn. Activate no more than twice each turn.

Coat of Arms

Each creature gets +1/+1 for each other creature on the battlefield that shares at least one creature type with it. (For example, if two Goblin Warriors and a Goblin Shaman are on the battlefield, each gets +2/+2.)

Molten Slagheap

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}: Put a storage counter on Molten Slagheap.
{1}, Remove X storage counters from Molten Slagheap: Add X mana in any combination of {B} and/or {R}.

Super Secret Tech

Premium spells cost {1} less to cast.
Premium creatures get +1/+1.

Urborg Volcano

Urborg Volcano enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Lavaclaw Reaches

Lavaclaw Reaches enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.
{1}{B}{R}: Until end of turn, Lavaclaw Reaches becomes a 2/2 black and red Elemental creature with "{X}: This creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn." It's still a land.

Terramorphic Expanse

{T}, Sacrifice Terramorphic Expanse: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Venomous Changeling

Changeling (This card is every creature type.)
Deathtouch

Changeling Outcast

Changeling (This card is every creature type.)
Changeling Outcast can't block and can't be blocked.

Universal Automaton

Changeling (This card is every creature type.)

Birthing Boughs

{4}, {T}: Create a 2/2 colorless Shapeshifter creature token with changeling. (It has every creature type.)

Graveshifter

Changeling (This card is every creature type.)
When Graveshifter enters the battlefield, you may return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.

Castle Locthwain

Castle Locthwain enters the battlefield tapped unless you control a Swamp.
{T}: Add {B}.
{1}{B}{B}, {T}: Draw a card, then you lose life equal to the number of cards in your hand.

Castle Embereth

Castle Embereth enters the battlefield tapped unless you control a Mountain.
{T}: Add {R}.
{1}{R}{R}, {T}: Creatures you control get +1/+0 until end of turn.

Temple of Malice

Temple of Malice enters the battlefield tapped.
When Temple of Malice enters the battlefield, scry 1.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Pet Project

Whenever you crank Pet Project, put target creature card from an opponent's graveyard onto the battlefield under your control.

Neural Network

Whenever you crank Neural Network, gain control of target creature an opponent controls with power less than or equal to the number of creature cards in its controller's graveyard until end of turn. Untap that creature. It gains haste until end of turn.

Mandatory Friendship Shackles

Whenever you crank Mandatory Friendship Shackles, target creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn.

Lackey Recycler

Whenever you crank Lackey Recycler, put target creature card from your graveyard on top of your library.

Jamming Device

Whenever you crank Jamming Device, creatures target player controls get -1/-1 until end of turn.

Guest List

Whenever you crank Guest List, target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of creature cards in its controller's graveyard.

Dual Doomsuits

Whenever you crank Dual Doomsuits, each time a source you control would deal damage this turn, it deals double that damage instead.

Division Table

Whenever you crank Division Table, target player loses 2 life.

Sundering Fork

Whenever you crank Sundering Fork, destroy target artifact.

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