Urza, Academy Headmaster

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−6: Head to AskUrza.com and click -6.

Hangman

As Hangman enters, secretly note a word with six to eight letters.
{1}: Target player who doesn't control Hangman guesses the noted word or an unguessed letter in that word. If they guess wrong, put a +1/+1 counter on Hangman. Any player may activate this ability.
When a player guesses the noted word or all of its letters, sacrifice Hangman.

Summon the Pack

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put all creature cards revealed this way onto the battlefield under your control. They're Zombies in addition to their other types. (Remove those cards from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Garbage Elemental

Cascade (When you cast this spell, exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card that costs less. You may cast it without paying its mana cost. Put the exiled cards on the bottom in a random order.)
When Garbage Elemental enters, roll a six-sided die. Garbage Elemental deals damage equal to the result to target opponent or planeswalker.

Selfie Preservation

Search your library for a basic land card and reveal it. If there's a tree in its art, put it onto the battlefield tapped. Otherwise, put it into your hand. Then shuffle.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

Kindslaver

{5}, {T}, Sacrifice Kindslaver: A person outside the game controls target player during that player's next turn. Neither player may advise that person until the end of that turn.

Sword of Dungeons & Dragons

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.
Equip {2}

Nerf War

Fire a Nerf® blaster until empty at target library from at least two meters away. For each card knocked off that library, put it into its owner's graveyard and Nerf War deals ½ damage to that player. (Foam darts only.)

Fruitcake Elemental

Fruitcake Elemental is indestructible.
At the end of your turn, Fruitcake Elemental deals 7 damage to you.
{3}: Target player gains control of Fruitcake Elemental.

Evil Presents

Put a creature card from your hand into play under target opponent's control. That creature attacks each turn if able . . . and always attacks its controller.

Snow Mercy

Whenever a creature deals damage to you, put a globe counter on it.
{T}, {Q}, {T}, {Q}, {T}: Tap all creatures with globe counters on them.

Yule Ooze

At the beginning of your upkeep, destroy another nonland permanent chosen at random, then put a number of +1/+1 counters on Yule Ooze equal to that permanent's converted mana cost.
{R}{G}, Eat some food: Regenerate Yule Ooze.

Naughty

Search another target player's library for a card and put that card into your hand. Then shuffle that player's library.

Nice

Search your library for a card and put it into another target player's hand. Then shuffle your library.

Naughty // Nice

Mishra's Toy Workshop

{T}: Add {C}{C}{C}. Spend this mana only on spells and abilities that put tokens onto the battlefield. Use toys to represent the tokens.

Goblin Sleigh Ride

Target creature you control climbs into Goblin Sleigh Ride. You slide them on their merry way. If the creature stayed on, it deals damage equal to its toughness to each other creature touched during the slide.

Some Disassembly Required

{B}, Sacrifice a creature: Distribute the sacrificed creature's keyword abilities among any number of other target creatures until end of turn. If it's December, you gain 1 life for each of those keywords.

Swamp

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Flaccify

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {3}{½}.

Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Enter the Dungeon

Players play a Magic subgame under the table, starting at 5 life and using their libraries as their decks. The winner searches their library for two cards, puts those cards into their hand, then shuffles.

Eye to Eye

You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature.

Tainted Monkey

{T}: Choose a word. Target player mills a card. If a card with the chosen word in its text box was milled this way, they lose 3 life.

Land Aid '04

Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. If you sang a song the whole time you were searching and shuffling, you may untap that land.

Who // What // When // Where // Why

Letter Bomb

When Letter Bomb enters, sign it and shuffle it into target player's library. That player reveals each card they draw until they draw Letter Bomb. When that player draws Letter Bomb, it deals 19½ damage to them.

Pointy Finger of Doom

{3}, {T}: Spin Pointy Finger of Doom in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to.

Mountain

Plains

Look at Me, I'm the DCI

Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)

Checks and Balances

Cast this spell only if there are three or more players in the game.
Whenever a player casts a spell, each of that player's opponents may discard a card. If they do, counter that spell.

Denied!

Choose a card name, then target spell's controller reveals their hand. If a card with the chosen name is revealed this way, counter that spell.

Psychic Network

Each player plays with the top card of their library held against their forehead, revealed to each other player.

Gerrymandering

Exile all lands. Give each player a number of those cards chosen at random equal to the number of those cards the player controlled. Each player returns those cards to the battlefield under their control.

Gus enters with a +1/+1 counter on it for each Magic game you have lost to one of your opponents since you last won a game against them.

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.

Forest

Bog Humbugs

Flying
Whenever Bog Humbugs deals combat damage, hum that many notes of a festive song. If you can, put a +1/+1 counter on Bog Humbugs.

Stocking Tiger

Stocking Tiger enters with a sealed Magic booster pack under it.
When Stocking Tiger deals combat damage to a player, unwrap the booster pack and put it into your hand.

Island

Booster Tutor

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of them into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)

{"ops":[{"insert":"I'm gonna live deliciously\nI'm gonna live forever\n"}]}

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