Guff Rewrites History

For each player, choose target nonenchantment, nonland permanent that player controls. Those permanents' owners shuffle them into their libraries. Each player who controlled one of those permanents exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card, then puts the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order. Each player may cast the nonland card they exiled without paying its mana cost.

Scrambleverse

For each nonland permanent, choose a player at random. Then each player gains control of each permanent for which they were chosen. Untap those permanents.

Illicit Auction

Each player may bid life for control of target creature. You start the bidding with a bid of 0. In turn order, each player may top the high bid. The bidding ends if the high bid stands. The high bidder loses life equal to the high bid and gains control of the creature. (This effect lasts indefinitely.)

Slicer, High-Speed Antagonist

Living metal (During your turn, this Vehicle is also a creature.)
First strike, haste
Whenever Slicer deals combat damage to a player, convert it at end of combat.

Slicer, Hired Muscle

More Than Meets the Eye {2}{R} (You may cast this card converted for {2}{R}.)
Double strike, haste
At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, you may have that player gain control of Slicer until end of turn. If you do, untap Slicer, goad it, and it can't be sacrificed this turn. If you don't, convert it.

Slicer, Hired Muscle // Slicer, High-Speed Antagonist

Plargg and Nassari

At the beginning of your upkeep, each player exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card. An opponent chooses a nonland card exiled this way. You may cast up to two spells from among the other cards exiled this way without paying their mana costs.

Confusion in the Ranks

Whenever an artifact, creature, or enchantment enters, its controller chooses target permanent another player controls that shares a card type with it. Exchange control of those permanents.

Chef's Kiss

Gain control of target spell that targets only a single permanent or player. Copy it, then reselect the targets at random for the spell and the copy. The new targets can't be you or a permanent you control.

Whims of the Fates

Starting with you, each player separates all permanents they control into three piles. Then each player chooses one of their piles at random and sacrifices those permanents. (Piles can be empty.)

Humble Defector

{T}: Draw two cards. Target opponent gains control of Humble Defector. Activate only during your turn.

Mages' Contest

You and target spell's controller bid life. You start the bidding with a bid of 1. In turn order, each player may top the high bid. The bidding ends if the high bid stands. The high bidder loses life equal to the high bid. If you win the bidding, counter that spell.

Diaochan, Artful Beauty

{T}: Destroy target creature of your choice, then destroy target creature of an opponent's choice. Activate only during your turn, before attackers are declared.

Thieves' Auction

Exile all nontoken permanents. Starting with you, each player chooses one of the exiled cards and puts it onto the battlefield tapped under their control. Repeat this process until all cards exiled this way have been chosen.