Deadbeat Attendant

When Deadbeat Attendant enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Night Shift of the Living Dead

After you roll a die, you may pay 1 life. If you do, increase or decrease the result by 1. Do this only once each turn.
Whenever you roll a 6, create a 2/2 black Zombie Employee creature token.

Nearby Planet

Rangeling (This card is every land type, including Plains, Island, Swamp, Mountain, Forest, Desert, Gate, Lair, Locus, and all those Urza's ones.)
Nearby Planet enters tapped.
When Nearby Planet enters, sacrifice it unless you pay {1}.

_____ Balls of Fire

When this enchantment enters, you may put a name sticker on it.
Whenever you put a sticker on this enchantment, it deals damage equal to the number of o's in name stickers on this enchantment to any target.

Minotaur de Force

Haste
When Minotaur de Force enters, you get {TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Busted!

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {X}, where X is the number of words in the name with the most words among permanents you control.

Octo Opus

When Octo Opus enters, create a 4/4 blue Octopus Performer creature token named Contortionist with "At the beginning of your upkeep, you may fold this token in half." (It becomes 2/2, then 1/1, ½/½, and so on.)
Sacrifice Octo Opus: Draw a card and an additional card for each of Contortionist's folds.

Attempted Murder

Choose target creature. Roll X six-sided dice. For each even result, put two -1/-1 counters on that creature. For each odd result, create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.

Thrasios, Triton Hero

{4}: Scry 1, then reveal the top card of your library. If it's a land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped. Otherwise, draw a card.
Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Plot Armor

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and can't be blocked except by creatures with flavor text.

Magar of the Magic Strings

{1}{B}{R}: Note the name of target instant or sorcery card in your graveyard and put it onto the battlefield face down. It's a 3/3 creature with "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may create a copy of the card with the noted name. You may cast the copy without paying its mana cost" and "If this creature would leave the battlefield, exile it instead of putting it anywhere else."

Boing!

Return target creature to its owner's hand, then roll a six-sided die. If the result is 3 or less, scry a number of cards equal to the result.

Carnival Carnivore

Deathtouch
When Carnival Carnivore enters, you get {TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

It Came from Planet Glurg

You may have It Came from Planet Glurg enter as a copy of X different creatures on the battlefield. (It has their total power, total toughness, combined mana costs, all text boxes, names, art, and so on.)

Scared Stiff

Scared Stiff has menace as long you control a stickered permanent.

Saw in Half

Destroy target creature. If that creature dies this way, its controller creates two tokens that are copies of that creature, except their power is half that creature's power and their toughness is half that creature's toughness. Round up each time.

Disemvowel

Destroy target creature. That creature's controller loses 1 life for each unique vowel in the creature's name. (The vowels are A, E, I, O, U, and Y.)

_____ Goblin

When this creature enters, you may put a name sticker on it. Add {R} for each unique vowel on that sticker. (The vowels are A, E, I, O, U, and Y.)

Vial Smasher the Fierce

Whenever you cast your first spell each turn, choose an opponent at random. Vial Smasher the Fierce deals damage equal to that spell's mana value to that player or a planeswalker that player controls.
Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Resolute Veggiesaur

Trample
Whenever you roll your third die each turn, put a +1/+1 counter on Resolute Veggiesaur.

Devil K. Nevil

Haste
When Devil K. Nevil enters, jump it over any number of creatures. If it clears those creatures, put that many +1/+1 counters on it. (You can see a jumping demonstration at DevilKNevil.com.)

Dee Kay, Finder of the Lost

When Dee Kay, Finder of the Lost enters, open an Attraction.
Whenever you roll a 2, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.
Whenever you roll a 4, you may tap or untap target artifact or creature.
Whenever you roll a 6, return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.

Circuits Act

Roll three six-sided dice. For each different result, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

How Is This a Par Three?!

Whenever you cast a spell, you may have target player mill X cards, where X is the number of words in that spell's name.

Gray Merchant of Alphabet

When Gray Merchant of Alphabet enters, choose a letter. For each creature you control that has the chosen letter in its name, you gain 1 life and each opponent loses 1 life.

Unlawful Entry

Target creature gets +1/+0 and gains flying until end of turn.
Whenever you put an art sticker on a creature, you may return Unlawful Entry from your graveyard to your hand.

Big Winner

Big Winner has trample as long as you control a stickered permanent.

The Space Family Goblinson

The Space Family Goblinson has trample as long as you've rolled three or more dice this turn.
Whenever you roll a die, put a +1/+1 counter on The Space Family Goblinson.

Black Hole

Destroy target creature and up to X other target creatures, where X is the number of Attractions you've visited this turn.

Slight Malfunction

Choose one —
• Destroy target artifact.
• Roll a six-sided die. When you do, Slight Malfunction deals 1 damage to each of up to X target creatures, where X is the result.

The Big Top

{T}: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)