Mother of Goons

Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, sacrifice Mother of Goons unless you insult that creature.

B-I-N-G-O

Trample
Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.
B-I-N-G-O gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

Common Courtesy

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice Common Courtesy.

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Citadel Gate

Citadel Gate enters tapped.
As Citadel Gate enters, choose a color other than white.
{T}: Add {W} or one mana of the chosen color.

Greater Morphling

{2}: Greater Morphling gains your choice of banding, bushido 1, double strike, fear, flying, first strike, haste, landwalk of your choice, protection from a color of your choice, provoke, rampage 1, shadow, or trample until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling becomes the colors of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling becomes the creature type of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling's expansion symbol becomes the symbol of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling's art becomes by the artist of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling gets +2/-2 or -2/+2 until end of turn.
{2}: Untap Greater Morphling.

Strategy, Schmategy

Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.
1 — Do nothing.
2 — Destroy all artifacts.
3 — Destroy all lands.
4 — Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.
5 — Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.
6 — Repeat this process two more times.

Nearby Planet

Rangeling (This card is every land type, including Plains, Island, Swamp, Mountain, Forest, Desert, Gate, Lair, Locus, and all those Urza's ones.)
Nearby Planet enters tapped.
When Nearby Planet enters, sacrifice it unless you pay {1}.

Sea Gate

Sea Gate enters tapped.
As Sea Gate enters, choose a color other than blue.
{T}: Add {U} or one mana of the chosen color.

Avatar of Me

This spell costs {1} more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.
Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.
Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

Orzhov Guildgate

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {W} or {B}.

Noble Ox

Flash
When Noble Ox enters the battlefield, all unblocked creatures attacking you become blocked by Noble Ox.
Noble Ox can block any number of creatures.

Weathered Wayfarer

{W}, {T}: Search your library for a land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle. Activate only if an opponent controls more lands than you.

Azorius Guildgate

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {W} or {U}.

Investi-Gate

Name two Ravnica Guilds. Create two copies that are copies of their gates. (Ravnica guildgates are lands that enter the battlefield tapped and tap for the two colors of the guild.)
Investigate.

Gunk Slug

When Gunk Slug enters, create three Gunk token cards and shuffle them into target opponent's library. (Gunk is a colorless sorcery card with no mana cost that has cycling {4}.)

Pippa, Duchess of Dice

{2}{G}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. It becomes a green Die creature token with power and toughness each equal to its result.
{2}{U}, {T}: Reroll any die. (Activate only any time it makes sense.)

Myntasha, Honored One

As an additional cost to cast this spell, you may open a sealed Magic booster pack and put the cards on the bottom of your booster pile in a random order.
Spells you cast have booster cascade. (It's like cascade, but use your booster pile rather than your library.)

Summon the Pack

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put all creature cards revealed this way onto the battlefield under your control. They're Zombies in addition to their other types. (Remove those cards from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Keeper of the Sacred Word

As Keeper of the Sacred Word enters, choose a word.
Whenever an opponent says the chosen word, Keeper of the Sacred Word gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Nice

Search your library for a card and put it into another target player's hand. Then shuffle your library.

Naughty

Search another target player's library for a card and put that card into your hand. Then shuffle that player's library.

Naughty // Nice

Censorship

As Censorship enters, choose a word.
Whenever a player says the chosen word, Censorship deals 2 damage to that player.

Phone a Friend

Call someone and ask them to choose one. If they don't answer, an opponent chooses one. (Don't explain anything else. You choose targets.)
• A — Gain control of target creature you don't control.
• B — Choose target creature you control. Create two tokens that are each copies of it.
• C — Take an extra turn after this one.
• D — Draw seven cards.

Phyrexian Arena

At the beginning of your upkeep, you draw a card and you lose 1 life.

Look at Me, I'm the DCI

Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)

Wasteland

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}, Sacrifice Wasteland: Destroy target nonbasic land.

Selesnya Guildgate

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {G} or {W}.

Crow Storm

Create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.
Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn.)

Island

Gimme Five

You gain 1 life for each person who high-fives you in the next thirty seconds. Each player in an Un-game who high-fives you gains 1 life. (Offer high fives. Don't hit people.)

Elvish House Party

Elvish House Party's power and toughness are each equal to the current hour, using the twelve-hour system.

Saw in Half

Destroy target creature. If that creature dies this way, its controller creates two tokens that are copies of that creature, except their power is half that creature's power and their toughness is half that creature's toughness. Round up each time.

Topsy Turvy

The phases of each player's turn are reversed. (The phases are, in reverse order, ending, second main, combat, first main, and beginning.)
As long as there are more than two players in the game, the turn order is reversed.

Forest

Split Screen

When Split Screen enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When Split Screen leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Gruul Guildgate

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R} or {G}.

Vile Bile

Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches Vile Bile, that player loses 2 life.

Black Dragon Gate

Black Dragon Gate enters tapped.
As Black Dragon Gate enters, choose a color other than black.
{T}: Add {B} or one mana of the chosen color.

Water Gun Balloon Game

As Water Gun Balloon Game enters, each player puts a pop! counter on "0."
Whenever a player casts a spell, move that player's pop! counter up one.
Whenever a player's pop! counter hits "5," that player creates a 5/5 pink Giant Teddy Bear creature token and resets all pop! counters to "0."

Killer Cosplay

Whenever Killer Cosplay becomes attached to a creature, choose a creature card name with an identical mana cost. That creature becomes a copy of the card with the chosen name until Killer Cosplay becomes unattached from it.
Equip {3}

Waste Land

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}, Sacrifice Waste Land: Destroy target nonbasic land. That land's controller creates a Wastes token. (It's a land with {T}: Add {C}.)

Who's That Praetor?

Choose one at random. Create a token that's a copy of the chosen card.
• Elesh Norn, Mother of Machines
• Jin-Gitaxias, Progress Tyrant
• Sheoldred, the Apocalypse
• Urabrask, Heretic Praetor
• Vorinclex, Monstrous Raider
• Ebon Praetor

Urza's Fun House

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {∞}. Activate only once and only if you control an Urza's Mine, an Urza's Power-Plant, and an Urza's Tower.
{7}, {T}: Head to AskUrza.com and click Urza's Fun House.

Spy Eye

Flying
Whenever Spy Eye deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card from that player's library.

Animate Spell

Flash
Enchant instant or sorcery spell on the stack
When Animate Spell becomes attached to an instant or sorcery, put that card onto the battlefield under its owner's control. It's a creature in addition to its other types with power and toughness each equal to its converted mana cost.
When Animate Spell leaves the battlefield, enchanted card's owner sacrifices it unless they cast it.

Goblin Tutor

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
2 — A card named Goblin Tutor
3 — An enchantment
4 — An artifact
5 — A creature
6 — An instant or sorcery

Chronobot

When Chronobot enters, switch upkeep steps with target opponent for as long as it remains on the battlefield. (You take your upkeep on their turn, and they take their upkeep on your turn.)

Kindslaver

{5}, {T}, Sacrifice Kindslaver: A person outside the game controls target player during that player's next turn. Neither player may advise that person until the end of that turn.

Tibalt the Chaotic

+1: Cast a copy of one of the following cards chosen at random—Ignorant Bliss, Crack the Earth, Blazing Volley.
−3: Cast a copy of one of the following cards chosen at random—Seething Song, Dance with Devils, Flamebreak.
−6: Cast a copy of one of the following cards chosen at random—Hellion Eruption, Insurrection, Warp World.

Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike
{1}{B}, Reveal Infernal Spawn of Evil from your hand, Say "It's coming!": Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 1 damage to target opponent or planeswalker. Activate only during your upkeep and only once each turn.

Subcontract

A person outside the game looks at target opponent's hand and chooses a nonland card from it. That player discards that card.

Baldur's Gate

{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}: Add X mana of any one color, where X is the number of other Gates you control.

Standard Procedure

{1}, Reveal Standard Procedure from your hand: Choose an instant or sorcery card with mana value 3 or less currently legal in the Standard format. Standard Procedure becomes that card until end of turn.

Space Beleren

Space sculptor (Space Beleren divides the battlefield into alpha, beta, and gamma sectors. If a creature isn't assigned to a sector, its controller assigns it to one. Opponents assign first.)
+1: Creatures in each sector can be blocked this turn only by creatures in the same sector.
−1: Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature in the sector of your choice.
−5: Destroy all creatures in the sector of your choice.

Bosom Buddy

Whenever you cast a spell, you may gain ½ life for each word in that spell's name.

Seasonal Sequels

Pitch the titles of up to X holiday-themed sequels to target spell. Copy that spell for each title pitched, except the copy has that name. You may choose new targets for the copies. (Simply adding numbers isn't festive enough.)

A Girl and Her Dogs

When A Girl and Her Dogs enters the battlefield and at the beginning of your upkeep, create a 1/1 white legendary Dog creature token and name it.
Whenever A Girl and Her Dogs attacks, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each legendary creature you control.

Booster Tutor

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of them into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Golgari Guildgate

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {G}.

Transcantation

Target instant or sorcery spell becomes a copy of Lightning Bolt. Its controller may choose new targets for it.

Exchange of Words

When Exchange of Words enters, choose two target creatures. For as long as Exchange of Words remains on the battlefield, exchange the text boxes of those creatures.

Exotic Orchard

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

Dryad of the Ilysian Grove

You may play an additional land on each of your turns.
Lands you control are every basic land type in addition to their other types.

Pie-Eating Contest

As an additional cost to cast this spell, gobble X. (Each time you gobble, take a bite of food or sacrifice a Food token.)
X target creatures you control each get +2/+2 and gain trample until end of turn.

Fowl Play

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a Bird creature with base power and toughness 1/1.

Cliffgate

Cliffgate enters tapped.
As Cliffgate enters, choose a color other than red.
{T}: Add {R} or one mana of the chosen color.

Plains

Mountain

Izzet Guildgate

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Swamp

Growth Charm

Choose one —
• Rampant Growth
• Giant Growth
• Regrowth

Maze's End

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {C}.
{3}, {T}, Return this land to its owner's hand: Search your library for a Gate card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. If you control ten or more Gates with different names, you win the game.

Gond Gate

Gates you control enter untapped.
{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color that a Gate you control could produce.

Sylvan Scrying

Search your library for a land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Mesa Chicken

Stand up, Flap your arms, Cluck like a chicken: Mesa Chicken gains flying until end of turn.

Gold Mine

{T}: Add {C}.
Legacy — {T}, Mark one of Gold Mine's unmarked nodes: Add one mana of any color.
☐, ☐, ☐, ☐, ☐

Clocknapper

When Clocknapper enters, choose beginning phase, first main phase, combat phase, postcombat main phase, or ending phase. Steal that phase from target player during their next turn. (That phase occurs as though it's your turn instead.)

Sacrifice Play

A person outside the game chooses an attacking or blocking creature target opponent controls. That player sacrifices that creature.

Spelunking

When Spelunking enters, draw a card, then you may put a land card from your hand onto the battlefield. If you put a Cave onto the battlefield this way, you gain 4 life.
Lands you control enter untapped.

Crop Rotation

As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice a land.
Search your library for a land card, put that card onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Vorthos, Steward of Myth

As Vorthos, Steward of Myth enters, choose a named Magic character.
Each spell you cast with the chosen character in its name, flavor text, or art costs {W}{U}{B}{R}{G} less to cast. This effect reduces only the amount of colored mana you pay.

Command Mine

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity. If you control a Command Tower and a Command Power Plant, add two mana of any color in your commander's color identity instead.

B.F.M. (Big Furry Monster)

B.F.M. onto the battlefield. If one B.F.M. card
more creatures.

Gobsmacked

Enchant nonland permanent
As Gobsmacked enters, choose a person outside the game.
As long as you can see the chosen person from your seat, enchanted permanent can't attack or block, and its activated abilities can't be activated.

Dwarven Confluencer

{T}: Destroy target nontoken land. Its controller creates a Mana Confluence token. (It's a land with "{T}, Pay 1 life: Add one mana of any color.")

Mobile Clone

Using a mobile device, take a picture of target creature. That device enters as a token that's a photocopy of the pictured creature. (Photocopies include Auras, Equipment, counters, and stickers in the shot. Don't touch other people's phones without permission and be careful if you do.)

Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike, trample
Once each turn, while you're searching your library, you may pay {1}{B}, reveal Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil from your library and say "I'm coming, too!" If you do, Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 2 damage to a player of your choice.

R&D's Secret Lair

Play cards as written. Ignore all errata.
{T}: Add {C}. (This mana is still added to your mana pool.)

Now I Know My ABC's

At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control permanents with names that include all twenty-six letters of the English alphabet, you win the game.

Command Power Plant

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity. If you control a Command Tower and a Command Mine, add two mana of any color in your commander's color identity instead.
Command Towers you control have, "{T}: If you control a Command Mine and a Command Power Plant, add three mana of any color in your commander's color identity."

Manor Gate

Manor Gate enters tapped.
As Manor Gate enters, choose a color other than green.
{T}: Add {G} or one mana of the chosen color.

Checks and Balances

Cast this spell only if there are three or more players in the game.
Whenever a player casts a spell, each of that player's opponents may discard a card. If they do, counter that spell.

The Big Top

{T}: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)

Whammy Burn

Shuffle your whammy deck, then reveal cards from the top of your whammy deck until you reveal an Island or choose to stop. Then, if no Islands were revealed this way, Whammy Burn deals X damage to any target, where X is the number of cards revealed. (A whammy deck consists of a Plains, Island, Swamp, Mountain, and Forest.)

Inspirational Antelope

Legacy — Before the game starts, choose a keyword or ability word and write it below.
Spells with __________ you cast cost {1} less to cast.

Trapeze Artist

Flying
Trapeze Artist enters by being flipped from a height of at least one foot (about 0.3 meters). If it lands face down or didn't turn over completely at least once during the flip, return it to its owner's hand.

Naturalize 2

Destroy target artifact, enchantment, emblem, or gameplay tracker. (Trackers include play aids such as dungeons, city's blessing, and monarch. When you destroy it, the associated object or designation is removed from the game.)

Gleemox

{T}: Add one mana of any color.
This card is banned.

Thran Portal

Thran Portal enters tapped unless you control two or fewer other lands.
As Thran Portal enters, choose a basic land type.
Thran Portal is the chosen type in addition to its other types.
Mana abilities of Thran Portal cost an additional 1 life to activate.

Oracle of the Alpha

Flying
When Oracle of the Alpha enters, conjure the Power Nine into your library, then shuffle.
Whenever Oracle of the Alpha attacks, scry 1.

Over My Dead Bodies

Creature cards in graveyards can attack and block as though they were on the battlefield, can block or be blocked only by creature cards in graveyards, are Zombies in addition to their other types, and have undeathtouch. (If they would deal damage to a creature card, exile that creature card instead.)
Creature cards in your graveyard have haste.