Spatula of the Ages

{4}, {T}, Sacrifice Spatula of the Ages: You may put a silver-bordered or acorn permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Time Out

Roll a six-sided die. Put target nonland permanent into its owner's library just beneath the top X cards of that library, where X is the result.

Spell Counter

Counter target spell.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "spell" or "counter," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Spell Counter from your graveyard to your hand.

Granny's Payback

Mad Science Fair Project

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or lower, target player adds {C}. Otherwise, that player adds one mana of any color they choose.

Growth Spurt

Roll a six-sided die. Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.

Richard Garfield, Ph.D.

You may play cards as though they were other cards of your choice with the same mana cost. You can't choose the same card twice. (Mana cost includes color.)

Flaccify

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {3}{½}.

Squirrel Dealer

When Squirrel Dealer enters, ask a person outside the game "Do you like Squirrels?" If they do, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Socketed Sprocketer

{T}: Uninstall all results from Socketed Sprocketer, then roll a six-sided die. Install the result on Socketed Sprocketer. (Put the die on this card.)
You may uninstall a result from Socketed Sprocketer to use it for a die you rolled.
Uninstall a 6 from Socketed Sprocketer: Draw a card.

Kindslaver

{5}, {T}, Sacrifice Kindslaver: A person outside the game controls target player during that player's next turn. Neither player may advise that person until the end of that turn.

Staff of the Letter Magus

As Staff of the Letter Magus enters, choose a consonant other than N, R, S, or T.
Whenever a player casts a spell, you gain 1 life for each time the chosen letter appears in that spell's name.

Simic Signet

B.O.B. (Bevy of Beebles)

As B.O.B. enters, create four 1/1 blue Beeble creature tokens.
The number of loyalty counters on B.O.B. is equal to the number of Beebles you control. (Create or sacrifice Beebles whenever B.O.B. gains or loses loyalty.)
+1: Up to X target Beebles can't be blocked this turn, where X is the number of cards in your hand.
−1: Draw a card.

Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Urza's Science Fair Project

{2}: Roll a six-sided die. Urza's Science Fair Project gets the indicated result.
1 — It gets -2/-2 until end of turn.
2 — Prevent all combat damage it would deal this turn.
3 — It gains vigilance until end of turn.
4 — It gains first strike until end of turn.
5 — It gains flying until end of turn.
6 — It gets +2/+2 until end of turn.

Secret Base

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell that shares a watermark with Secret Base.

B-I-N-G-O

Trample
Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.
B-I-N-G-O gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

Elvish Impersonators

As Elvish Impersonators enters, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.

Krark's Other Thumb

If you would roll a die, instead roll two of those dice and ignore one of those results.

Sword of Dungeons & Dragons

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.
Equip {2}

Vineglimmer Snarl

As Vineglimmer Snarl enters, you may reveal a Forest or Island card from your hand. If you don't, Vineglimmer Snarl enters tapped.
{T}: Add {G} or {U}.

Dreamroot Cascade

Dreamroot Cascade enters tapped unless you control two or more other lands.
{T}: Add {G} or {U}.

Ambiguity

Whenever a player plays a spell that counters a spell that has been played or a player plays a spell that comes into play with counters, that player may counter the next spell played or put an additional counter on a permanent that has already been played, but not countered.

Psychic Network

Each player plays with the top card of their library held against their forehead, revealed to each other player.

Common Courtesy

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice Common Courtesy.

Hydradoodle

As Hydradoodle enters, roll X six-sided dice. Hydradoodle enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the total of those results.
Reach, trample

Flock of Rabid Sheep

Flip X coins. For each flip you win, create a 2/2 green Sheep creature token named Rabid Sheep.

Chicken à la King

Whenever a 6 is rolled on a six-sided die, put a +1/+1 counter on each Bird. (You may roll dice only when instructed to.)
Tap an untapped Bird you control: Roll a six-sided die. (Like now.)

Island

Supersize

Target creature gets +3½/+3½ until end of turn.

Stocking Tiger

Stocking Tiger enters with a sealed Magic booster pack under it.
When Stocking Tiger deals combat damage to a player, unwrap the booster pack and put it into your hand.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.

Evolving Wilds

{T}, Sacrifice Evolving Wilds: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Ashnod's Coupon

{T}, Sacrifice Ashnod's Coupon: Target player gets you target drink. You pay any costs for the drink.

Avatar of Me

This spell costs {1} more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.
Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.
Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

Steel Squirrel

Whenever you roll a 5 or higher on a die, Steel Squirrel gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Sol Ring

Selfie Preservation

Search your library for a basic land card and reveal it. If there's a tree in its art, put it onto the battlefield tapped. Otherwise, put it into your hand. Then shuffle.

Laughing Hyena

Gotcha — If an opponent laughs, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Laughing Hyena from your graveyard to your hand.

Chittering Doom

Whenever you roll a 4 or higher on a die, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Rings a Bell

As Rings a Bell enters, choose a word with four or more letters.
After you say the chosen word for the first time each turn, an opponent may ring or imitate a bell within five seconds. When no opponent does, draw a card.

Free-Range Chicken

{1}{G}: Roll two six-sided dice. If both results are the same, Free-Range Chicken gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is that result. If the total of those results is equal to any other total you have rolled this turn for this ability, sacrifice it. (For example, if you roll two 3s, it gets +3/+3. If you roll a 4 and a 2 for this ability later that turn, sacrifice it.)

Ground Pounder

{3}{G}: Roll a six-sided die. Ground Pounder gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.
Whenever you roll a 5 or higher on a die, Ground Pounder gains trample until end of turn.

Fraction Jackson

{G}, {T}: Return target card with a ½ on it from your graveyard to your hand.

Watermarket

{T}: Add {C}{C}. Spend this mana only to cast spells with watermarks.

Clam-I-Am

If you roll a 3 on a six-sided die, you may reroll that die.

Animate Library

Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile Animate Library instead.

Forest

Gleemax

You choose all targets for all spells and abilities.

Wall of Fortune

Defender
You may tap an untapped Wall you control to have any player reroll a die that player rolled.

Opal Palace

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity. If you spend this mana to cast your commander, it enters with a number of additional +1/+1 counters on it equal to the number of times it's been cast from the command zone this game.

Rejuvenating Springs

Rejuvenating Springs enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {G} or {U}.

R&D's Secret Lair

Play cards as written. Ignore all errata.
{T}: Add {C}. (This mana is still added to your mana pool.)

Land Aid '04

Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. If you sang a song the whole time you were searching and shuffling, you may untap that land.

Creature Guy

Gotcha — If an opponent says "creature" or "guy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Creature Guy from your graveyard to your hand.

My First Tome

{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and they guessed wrong, you draw a card.

Arcane Signet

Clocknapper

When Clocknapper enters, choose beginning phase, first main phase, combat phase, second main phase, or ending phase. Steal that phase from target player during their next turn. (That phase occurs as though it's your turn instead.)

Stone-Cold Basilisk

Whenever Stone-Cold Basilisk blocks or becomes blocked by a creature with fewer letters in its name, destroy that creature at end of combat. (Punctuation and spaces aren't letters.)
Whenever an opponent reads Stone-Cold Basilisk, that player is turned to stone until end of turn. Stoned players can't attack, block, cast spells, or activate abilities.

Graveyard Busybody

All graveyards are also your graveyards.
Graveyard Busybody's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards with flavor text in your graveyards.

Pippa, Duchess of Dice

{2}{G}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. It becomes a green Die creature token with power and toughness each equal to its result.
{2}{U}, {T}: Reroll any die. (Activate only any time it makes sense.)

Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle

As Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle enters, you and an opponent each secretly choose Whack or Doodle. Then those choices are revealed. If the choices match, Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle has that ability. Otherwise, it has Buzz.
• Whack — {T}: Target player loses 2 life.
• Doodle — {T}: You gain 3 life.
• Buzz — {2}, {T}: Draw a card.

Rod of Spanking

{2}, {T}: Rod of Spanking deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap Rod of Spanking unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

Willing Test Subject

Reach
Whenever you roll a 4 or higher on a die, put a +1/+1 counter on Willing Test Subject.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Lobe Lobber

Equipped creature has "{T}: This creature deals 1 damage to target player or planeswalker. Roll a six-sided die. On a 5 or higher, untap it."
Equip {2}

Misty Rainforest

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice Misty Rainforest: Search your library for a Forest or Island card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Pair o' Dice Lost

Roll two six-sided dice. Return any number of cards with total mana value X or less from your graveyard to your hand, where X is the total of those results. Exile Pair o' Dice Lost.

Question Elemental?

Did you know this creature has flying?
Are you aware that any time you say something that isn't a question, when a player points out this fact first, they gain control of Question Elemental?

Getting

Breeding Pool

({T}: Add {G} or {U}.)
As Breeding Pool enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Everythingamajig

Sacrifice a land: You gain 2 life.
Sacrifice a creature: Add {C}{C}.
{2}, Discard a card: Search your library for a card that shares a complete word in its name with the name of the discarded card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Johnny, Combo Player

{4}: Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

Brokers Hideout

When Brokers Hideout enters, sacrifice it. When you do, search your library for a basic Forest, Plains, or Island card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle and you gain 1 life.

Double Header

Flying
When Double Header enters, you may return target permanent with a two-word name to its owner's hand.