Narrow-Minded Baloney Fireworks

{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, you gain 2 life.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Vigilance, reach
{TK}{TK} — 2/4
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 7/7

Unglued Pea-Brained Dinosaur

{TK}{TK} — {T}: Add {2}. Spend this mana only to cast creature spells.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — At the beginning of combat on your turn, target noncreature artifact you control becomes a 4/4 artifact creature with flying until end of turn.
{TK}{TK} — 2/4
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 8/6

Squishy Sphinx Ninja

{TK}{TK} — Ward {2} (Whenever this creature becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter it unless that player pays {2}.)
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Provoke (Whenever this creature attacks, you may have target creature defending player controls untap and block it if able.)
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 5/3
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 7/7

Plains

Eternal Acrobat Toast

{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, exile target creature you control, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — {T}: Untap another target permanent.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 4/4
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 7/8

Primal Elder Kitty

{TK}{TK} — {1}: This creature gets +1/-1 until end of turn.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — When this creature dies, you may put X +1/+1 counters on target creature, where X is this creature's power.
{TK}{TK} — 5/1
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 4/7

Done for the Day

At the beginning of your end step, if you control an Employee, a Performer, or a Robot, you may get {TK} or create a Treasure token. If you control all three, you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Yawgmoth Merfolk Soul

{TK}{TK} — When this permanent leaves the battlefield, target player discards a card.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — When this permanent leaves the battlefield, create five 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature tokens.
{TK}{TK} — 3/3
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/5

Spooky Clown Mox

{TK}{TK} — Vigilance
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — {1}, {T}: Tap target creature.
{TK}{TK} — 1/5
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 5/4

Urza's Dark Cannonball

{TK}{TK} — Exalted, exalted (Whenever a creature you control attacks alone, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each instance of exalted among permanents you control.)
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Shadow (This creature can block or be blocked only by creatures with shadow.)
{TK}{TK} — 1/5
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 7/4

Werewolf Lightning Mage

{TK}{TK} — Landfall — Whenever a land enters under your control, put a +1/+1 counter on this permanent.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever a creature blocks this creature, that creature gets -4/-4 until end of turn.
{TK}{TK} — 4/1
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 3/5

Demonic Tourist Laser

{TK}{TK} — Outlast {1} ({1}, {T}: Put a +1/+1 counter on this creature. Outlast only as a sorcery.)
{TK}{TK}{TK} — When this permanent dies, you get seven {TK}.
{TK}{TK} — 1/4
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 9/6

Cool Fluffy Loxodon

{TK}{TK} — When this permanent leaves the battlefield, draw a card.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever a creature enters under your control, this permanent becomes a 13/13 Eldrazi creature in addition to its other types until end of turn.
{TK}{TK} — 4/2
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 5/6

Geek Lotus Warrior

{TK}{TK} — {2}: This creature gets +2/+0 until end of turn.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever a creature enters under your control, this permanent deals 2 damage to target player.
{TK}{TK} — 4/1
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 3/6

Playable Delusionary Hydra

{TK}{TK} — {T}: Draw a card, then discard a card.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, you gain 3 life and draw a card.
{TK}{TK} — 1/5
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 4/4

Lineprancers

When Lineprancers enters, you get {TK}{TK}, then you may put a power and toughness sticker on a creature you own.
{3}{G}: Target creature you don't control blocks target creature you control with a power and toughness sticker on it other than Lineprancers this turn if able.

Jetpack Death Seltzer

{TK}{TK} — Trample
{TK}{TK}{TK} — {3}: Monstrosity 3. (If this creature isn't monstrous, put three +1/+1 counters on it and it becomes monstrous.)
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 2/7
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/5

Vampire Champion Fury

{TK}{TK} — Hellbent — This creature gets +3/+3 as long as you have no cards in hand.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — {2}, Sacrifice this creature: It deals X damage divided as you choose among any number of target creatures, where X is its power.
{TK}{TK} — 1/5
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/3

Tusk and Whiskers

Whenever you put an ability sticker on a creature, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.
{2}{G}{W}, {T}: You get {TK}. You may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Wild Ogre Bupkis

{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, put a +1/+1 counter on it.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Metalcraft — This permanent has protection from noncreature permanents as long as you control three or more artifacts.
{TK}{TK} — 5/1
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 7/4

Zombie Cheese Magician

{TK}{TK} — First strike
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, draw that many cards.
{TK}{TK} — 3/3
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/2

Trained Blessed Mind

{TK}{TK} — {T}: Exile target card from a graveyard.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Threshold — As long as seven or more cards are in your graveyard, this creature gets +4/+0 and has trample.
{TK}{TK} — 4/2
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/9

Squid Fire Knight

{TK}{TK} — {T}: The next time target player would roll one or more dice this turn, instead they roll that many dice plus one, then you choose one of those rolls to ignore.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Protection from odd mana values
{TK}{TK} — 4/1
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/6

Unstable Robot Dragon

{TK}{TK} — {1}: Switch this creature's power and toughness until end of turn.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, it gets +5/+5 until end of turn.
{TK}{TK} — 3/2
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 2/7

Wrinkly Monkey Shenanigans

{TK}{TK} — {1}: Target creature can't block this creature this turn.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Morbid — At the beginning of each end step, if a creature died this turn and this permanent is a creature, put a -1/-1 counter on this permanent and draw a card.
{TK}{TK} — 2/4
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 7/2

Weird Angel Flame

{TK}{TK} — Heroic — Whenever you cast a spell that targets this permanent, put two +1/+1 counters on it.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Protection from even mana values
{TK}{TK} — 2/3
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 7/8

Sassy Gremlin Blood

{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, create a Treasure token.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — {3}: Target creature gains flying until end of turn.
{TK}{TK} — 3/2
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 10/10

Unique Charmed Pants

{TK}{TK} — {T}: Add one mana of any color.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, if it's not a Brushwagg, it gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of supertypes, card types, and subtypes it has.
{TK}{TK} — 5/1
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 4/8

Phyrexian Midway Bamboozle

{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, you get {TK}.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Undying (When this creature dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)
{TK}{TK} — 4/2
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/9

Slimy Burrito Illusion

{TK}{TK} — Bushido 2 (Whenever this creature blocks or becomes blocked, it gets +2/+2 until end of turn.)
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Double strike
{TK}{TK} — 2/4
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 5/6

Ticketomaton

When Ticketomaton enters, you get {TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Familiar Beeble Mascot

{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, untap target permanent.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever a creature enters under your control, creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.
{TK}{TK} — 2/3
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 5/3

Misunderstood Trapeze Elf

{TK}{TK} — Whenever you cast a spell, this creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the amount of generic mana in that spell's mana cost.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Hexproof
{TK}{TK} — 4/2
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/6

Clandestine Chameleon

When Clandestine Chameleon enters, you get {TK}{TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.
Clandestine Chameleon has all abilities of ability stickers on other permanents you own and cards in your graveyard.

Wicker Picker

Creature spells you cast have sticker kicker {1}. (You may pay an additional {1} as you cast a creature spell. If you do, you get {TK}, then you may put a sticker on it.)

Aerialephant

Flying
When Aerialephant enters, you get {TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Unassuming Gelatinous Serpent

{TK}{TK} — When this permanent dies, return target noncreature, nonland card from your graveyard to your hand.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player mills twice that many cards.
{TK}{TK} — 2/3
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 7/2

Giant Mana Cake

{TK}{TK} — When this permanent leaves the battlefield, create two Food tokens. (They're artifacts with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — When this permanent dies, destroy target nonland permanent.
{TK}{TK} — 3/3
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/2

Unsanctioned Ancient Juggler

{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, bolster 1. (Choose a creature with the least toughness among creatures you control and put a +1/+1 counter on it.)
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Indestructible
{TK}{TK} — 3/2
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 5/4

Night Brushwagg Ringmaster

{TK}{TK} — Menace
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Persist (When this permanent dies, if it had no -1/-1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a -1/-1 counter on it.)
{TK}{TK} — 2/3
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 10/10

Rocco, Cabaretti Caterer

When Rocco, Cabaretti Caterer enters, if you cast it, you may search your library for a creature card with mana value X or less, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Snazzy Aether Homunculus

{TK}{TK} — {1}: Target creature gains all creature types until end of turn.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Magecraft — Whenever you cast or copy an instant or sorcery spell, draw a card.
{TK}{TK} — 2/4
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 8/7

Carnival Elephant Meteor

{TK}{TK} — Sacrifice this permanent: Draw two cards.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)
{TK}{TK} — 4/1
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 8/7

Notorious Sliver War

{TK}{TK} — {5}: Creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Protection from creatures with two or more creature types
{TK}{TK} — 3/3
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 9/6

Forest

Cursed Firebreathing Yogurt

{TK}{TK} — Prowess, prowess (Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn twice.)
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — {2}, {T}: This permanent deals 2 damage to any target.
{TK}{TK} — 4/2
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 4/8

Stiltstrider

Reach
When Stiltstrider enters, you get {TK}{TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Mountain

Space Fungus Snickerdoodle

{TK}{TK} — Skulk (This creature can't be blocked by creatures with greater power.)
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Battle cry (Whenever this creature attacks, each other attacking creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn.)
{TK}{TK} — 3/2
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/8

Sticky Kavu Daredevil

{TK}{TK} — Whenever this permanent dies, you may return target creature to its owner's hand.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.
{TK}{TK} — 3/3
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 2/6

Unhinged Beast Hunt

{TK}{TK} — {T}: You gain 1 life.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, tap each creature an opponent controls with the same power and/or same toughness as this creature.
{TK}{TK} — 4/1
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 2/6

Eldrazi Guacamole Tightrope

{TK}{TK} — Haste
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — You may cast this card from your graveyard by paying 2 life in addition to paying its other costs.
{TK}{TK} — 1/4
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 5/3

Trendy Circus Pirate

{TK}{TK} — Deathtouch
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, create that many 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens.
{TK}{TK} — 5/1
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 3/6

Costume Shop

Visit — You may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Contortionist Otter Storm

{TK}{TK} — {T}: Target creature gains haste until end of turn.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Deathtouch, lifelink
{TK}{TK} — 5/1
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 3/5

Minotaur de Force

Haste
When Minotaur de Force enters, you get {TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Finishing Move

You get {TK}{TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Target creature you control deals damage equal to its power to target creature you don't control.

Ancestral Hot Dog Minotaur

{TK}{TK} — Afflict 2 (Whenever this creature becomes blocked, defending player loses 2 life.)
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Flying
{TK}{TK} — 1/4
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 8/6

Deep-Fried Plague Myr

{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, scry 1.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this permanent leaves the battlefield, you may destroy target artifact or enchantment.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 4/5
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 8/4

Goblin Coward Parade

{TK}{TK} — Mentor (Whenever this creature attacks, put a +1/+1 counter on target attacking creature with lesser power.)
{TK}{TK}{TK} — When this permanent leaves the battlefield, you may destroy target creature with power 4 or greater.
{TK}{TK} — 2/3
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 8/4

Robo-Piñata

When Robo-Piñata dies, choose one —
• You get {TK}{TK}.
• You may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Norin the Wary

When a player casts a spell or a creature attacks, exile Norin the Wary. Return it to the battlefield under its owner's control at the beginning of the next end step.

Happy Dead Squirrel

{TK}{TK} — {T}: Add {C}{C}. Spend this mana only to cast noncreature spells.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Infect (This permanent deals damage to creatures in the form of -1/-1 counters and to players in the form of poison counters.)
{TK}{TK} — 3/2
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 4/7

Pin Collection

When Pin Collection enters, you may put an ability sticker with ticket cost X or less on it without paying that sticker's ticket cost.
Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and has all abilities of ability stickers on Pin Collection.
Equip {2}

Mystic Doom Sandwich

{TK}{TK} — Lifelink
{TK}{TK}{TK} — This creature must be blocked if able. Whenever this creature becomes blocked, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each creature blocking it.
{TK}{TK} — 1/4
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/8

Elemental Time Flamingo

{TK}{TK} — Exile this permanent: You may cast target nonland card from your graveyard this turn.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever a creature you control dies, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.
{TK}{TK} — 1/5
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 5/4

Chicken Troupe

Ward {2} (Whenever this creature becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter it unless that player pays {2}.)
When Chicken Troupe enters, you get {TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Park Bleater

Whenever another creature you own enters, you get {TK}.
{W}, {T}: You may put a sticker on a creature you own that entered this turn.