Guff Rewrites History

For each player, choose target nonenchantment, nonland permanent that player controls. Those permanents' owners shuffle them into their libraries. Each player who controlled one of those permanents exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card, then puts the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order. Each player may cast the nonland card they exiled without paying its mana cost.

Kroxa, Titan of Death's Hunger

When Kroxa enters, sacrifice it unless it escaped.
Whenever Kroxa enters or attacks, each opponent discards a card, then each opponent who didn't discard a nonland card this way loses 3 life.
Escape—{B}{B}{R}{R}, Exile five other cards from your graveyard. (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its escape cost.)

Lavaborn Muse

At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, if that player has two or fewer cards in hand, this creature deals 3 damage to that player.

Tinybones, Trinket Thief

At the beginning of each end step, if an opponent discarded a card this turn, you draw a card and you lose 1 life.
{4}{B}{B}: Each opponent with no cards in hand loses 10 life.

Deadly Tempest

Destroy all creatures. Each player loses life equal to the number of creatures they controlled that were destroyed this way.

Liliana's Triumph

Each opponent sacrifices a creature of their choice. If you control a Liliana planeswalker, each opponent also discards a card.

Butcher of Malakir

Flying
Whenever this creature or another creature you control dies, each opponent sacrifices a creature of their choice.

Bellowing Mauler

At the beginning of your end step, each player loses 4 life unless they sacrifice a nontoken creature of their choice.

Fiery Inscription

When this enchantment enters, the Ring tempts you.
Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, this enchantment deals 2 damage to each opponent.

Psychosis Crawler

Psychosis Crawler's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards in your hand.
Whenever you draw a card, each opponent loses 1 life.

Gixian Puppeteer

Whenever you draw your second card each turn, each opponent loses 2 life and you gain 2 life.
When this creature dies, return another target creature card with mana value 3 or less from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Bad Deal

You draw two cards and each opponent discards two cards. Each player loses 2 life.

Dragonhawk, Fate's Tempest

Flying
Whenever Dragonhawk enters or attacks, exile the top X cards of your library, where X is the number of creatures you control with power 4 or greater. You may play those cards until your next end step. At the beginning of your next end step, Dragonhawk deals 2 damage to each opponent for each of those cards that are still exiled.

Valgavoth's Lair

Hexproof
This land enters tapped. As it enters, choose a color.
{T}: Add one mana of the chosen color.

Thieving Amalgam

At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, you manifest the top card of that player's library. (Put it onto the battlefield face down as a 2/2 creature. Turn it face up any time for its mana cost if it's a creature card.)
Whenever a creature you control but don't own dies, its owner loses 2 life and you gain 2 life.

Unruly Catapult

Defender
{T}: This creature deals 1 damage to each opponent.
Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, untap this creature.

Sunspine Lynx

Players can't gain life.
Damage can't be prevented.
When this creature enters, it deals damage to each player equal to the number of nonbasic lands that player controls.

Garna, Bloodfist of Keld

Whenever another creature you control dies, draw a card if it was attacking. Otherwise, Garna deals 1 damage to each opponent.

Warlock Class

(Gain the next level as a sorcery to add its ability.)
At the beginning of your end step, if a creature died this turn, each opponent loses 1 life.
{1}{B}: Level 2
When this Class becomes level 2, look at the top three cards of your library. Put one of them into your hand and the rest into your graveyard.
{6}{B}: Level 3
At the beginning of your end step, each opponent loses life equal to the life they lost this turn. (Damage causes loss of life.)

Winter, Misanthropic Guide

Ward {2}
At the beginning of your upkeep, each player draws two cards.
Delirium — As long as there are four or more card types among cards in your graveyard, each opponent's maximum hand size is equal to seven minus the number of those card types.

Glint-Horn Buccaneer

Haste
Whenever you discard a card, this creature deals 1 damage to each opponent.
{1}{R}, Discard a card: Draw a card. Activate only if this creature is attacking.

Arvinox, the Mind Flail

Arvinox isn't a creature unless you control three or more permanents you don't own.
At the beginning of your end step, exile the bottom card of each opponent's library face down. For as long as those cards remain exiled, you may look at them, you may cast permanent spells from among them, and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast those spells.

Crushing Disappointment

Each player loses 2 life. You draw two cards.

Oath of Liliana

When Oath of Liliana enters, each opponent sacrifices a creature of their choice.
At the beginning of each end step, if a planeswalker entered the battlefield under your control this turn, create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token.

Mirkwood Bats

Flying
Whenever you create or sacrifice a token, each opponent loses 1 life.

Mjölnir, Storm Hammer

When Mjölnir enters, attach it to target legendary creature you control.
Whenever equipped creature attacks, tap target creature defending player controls and put a stun counter on it. Then Mjölnir deals damage to each opponent equal to the number of tapped creatures that opponent controls.
Equip {4}

Gnat Miser

Each opponent's maximum hand size is reduced by one.

Dread Summons

Each player mills X cards. For each creature card put into a graveyard this way, you create a tapped 2/2 black Zombie creature token. (To mill a card, a player puts the top card of their library into their graveyard.)

Impact Tremors

Whenever a creature you control enters, this enchantment deals 1 damage to each opponent.

Klothys, God of Destiny

Indestructible
As long as your devotion to red and green is less than seven, Klothys isn't a creature.
At the beginning of your first main phase, exile target card from a graveyard. If it was a land card, add {R} or {G}. Otherwise, you gain 2 life and Klothys deals 2 damage to each opponent.

Exsanguinate

Each opponent loses X life. You gain life equal to the life lost this way.

Teapot Slinger

Menace
Whenever you expend 4, this creature deals 2 damage to each opponent. (You expend 4 as you spend your fourth total mana to cast spells during a turn.)

Garrulous Sycophant

At the beginning of your end step, if you're the monarch, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.

Tyrant's Choice

Will of the council — Starting with you, each player votes for death or torture. If death gets more votes, each opponent sacrifices a creature of their choice. If torture gets more votes or the vote is tied, each opponent loses 4 life.

Junji, the Midnight Sky

Flying, menace
When Junji dies, choose one —
• Each opponent discards two cards and loses 2 life.
• Put target non-Dragon creature card from a graveyard onto the battlefield under your control. You lose 2 life.

Wooded Foothills

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a Mountain or Forest card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

The Raven Man

At the beginning of each end step, if a player discarded a card this turn, create a 1/1 black Bird creature token with flying and "This token can't block."
{3}{B}, {T}: Each opponent discards a card. Activate only as a sorcery.

Mount Doom

{T}, Pay 1 life: Add {B} or {R}.
{1}{B}{R}, {T}: Mount Doom deals 1 damage to each opponent.
{5}{B}{R}, {T}, Sacrifice Mount Doom and a legendary artifact: Choose up to two creatures, then destroy the rest. Activate only as a sorcery.

Doomsday Excruciator

Flying
When this creature enters, if it was cast, each player exiles all but the bottom six cards of their library face down.
At the beginning of your upkeep, draw a card.

Gluttonous Hellkite

When you cast this spell, each player sacrifices X creatures. This creature enters with two +1/+1 counters on it for each creature sacrificed this way.
Flying, trample

Hazel's Nocturne

Return up to two target creature cards from your graveyard to your hand. Each opponent loses 2 life and you gain 2 life.

Hopeless Nightmare

When this enchantment enters, each opponent discards a card and loses 2 life.
When this enchantment is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, scry 2.
{2}{B}: Sacrifice this enchantment.

Marauding Blight-Priest

Whenever you gain life, each opponent loses 1 life.

Barter in Blood

Each player sacrifices two creatures of their choice.

Gnoll War Band

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each opponent who was dealt damage this turn.
Menace
Myriad (Whenever this creature attacks, for each opponent other than defending player, you may create a token copy that's tapped and attacking that player or a planeswalker they control. Exile the tokens at end of combat.)

Braids, Arisen Nightmare

At the beginning of your end step, you may sacrifice an artifact, creature, enchantment, land, or planeswalker. If you do, each opponent may sacrifice a permanent of their choice that shares a card type with it. For each opponent who doesn't, that player loses 2 life and you draw a card.

Strip Mine

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}, Sacrifice this land: Destroy target land.

Wheel of Fortune

Each player discards their hand, then draws seven cards.

Faerie Bladecrafter

Flying
Whenever one or more Faeries you control deal combat damage to a player, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.
When this creature dies, each opponent loses X life and you gain X life, where X is its power.

Seeker of Slaanesh

Haste
Allure of Slaanesh — Each opponent must attack with at least one creature each combat if able.

Goblin Chainwhirler

First strike
When this creature enters, it deals 1 damage to each opponent and each creature and planeswalker they control.

Wasteland Raider

Squad {2} (As an additional cost to cast this spell, you may pay {2} any number of times. When this creature enters, create that many tokens that are copies of it.)
When this creature enters, each player sacrifices a creature of their choice.

Vona's Hunger

Ascend (If you control ten or more permanents, you get the city's blessing for the rest of the game.)
Each opponent sacrifices a creature of their choice. If you have the city's blessing, instead each opponent sacrifices half the creatures they control of their choice, rounded up.

Poison-Tip Archer

Reach (This creature can block creatures with flying.)
Deathtouch (Any amount of damage this deals to a creature is enough to destroy it.)
Whenever another creature dies, each opponent loses 1 life.

Faith of the Devoted

Whenever you cycle or discard a card, you may pay {1}. If you do, each opponent loses 2 life and you gain 2 life.

Sarkhan, Dragonsoul

+2: Sarkhan deals 1 damage to each opponent and each creature your opponents control.
−3: Sarkhan deals 4 damage to target player or planeswalker.
−9: Search your library for any number of Dragon creature cards, put them onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Sivriss, Nightmare Speaker

{T}, Sacrifice another creature or an artifact: For each opponent, you mill a card, then return that card from your graveyard to your hand unless that player pays 3 life. (To mill a card, put the top card of your library into your graveyard.)
Choose a Background (You can have a Background as a second commander.)

Lukka, Coppercoat Outcast

+1: Exile the top three cards of your library. Creature cards exiled this way gain "You may cast this card from exile as long as you control a Lukka planeswalker."
−2: Exile target creature you control, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a creature card with higher mana value. Put that card onto the battlefield and the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.
−7: Each creature you control deals damage equal to its power to each opponent.

Ayara, First of Locthwain

Whenever Ayara or another black creature you control enters, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.
{T}, Sacrifice another black creature: Draw a card.

Hooded Blightfang

Deathtouch
Whenever a creature you control with deathtouch attacks, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.
Whenever a creature you control with deathtouch deals damage to a planeswalker, destroy that planeswalker.

Yavimaya, Cradle of Growth

Each land is a Forest in addition to its other land types.

Dictate of Erebos

Flash
Whenever a creature you control dies, each opponent sacrifices a creature of their choice.

Chandra's Ignition

Target creature you control deals damage equal to its power to each other creature and each opponent.

Scurry of Squirrels

Myriad, myriad (Whenever this creature attacks, for each opponent other than defending player, you may create a token that's a copy of this creature that's tapped and attacking that player or a planeswalker they control. Then do it again. Exile the tokens at end of combat.)
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you control.

Scheming Aspirant

Whenever you proliferate, each opponent loses 2 life and you gain 2 life.

Molten Primordial

Haste
When this creature enters, for each opponent, gain control of up to one target creature that player controls until end of turn. Untap those creatures. They gain haste until end of turn.

Kokusho, the Evening Star

Flying
When Kokusho dies, each opponent loses 5 life. You gain life equal to the life lost this way.

Iron Maiden

At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, this artifact deals X damage to that player, where X is the number of cards in their hand minus 4.

Strefan, Maurer Progenitor

Flying
At the beginning of your end step, create a Blood token for each player who lost life this turn.
Whenever Strefan attacks, you may sacrifice two Blood tokens. If you do, you may put a Vampire card from your hand onto the battlefield tapped and attacking. It gains indestructible until end of turn.

Heartfire Hero

Valiant — Whenever this creature becomes the target of a spell or ability you control for the first time each turn, put a +1/+1 counter on it.
When this creature dies, it deals damage equal to its power to each opponent.

God-Pharaoh's Statue

Spells your opponents cast cost {2} more to cast.
At the beginning of your end step, each opponent loses 1 life.

Prismatic Vista

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Pick Your Poison

Choose one —
• Each opponent sacrifices an artifact of their choice.
• Each opponent sacrifices an enchantment of their choice.
• Each opponent sacrifices a creature with flying of their choice.

Sheoldred's Edict

Choose one —
• Each opponent sacrifices a nontoken creature of their choice.
• Each opponent sacrifices a creature token of their choice.
• Each opponent sacrifices a planeswalker of their choice.

End the Festivities

End the Festivities deals 1 damage to each opponent and each creature and planeswalker they control.

Vraan, Executioner Thane

Whenever one or more other creatures you control die, each opponent loses 2 life and you gain 2 life. This ability triggers only once each turn.

Fiery Confluence

Choose three. You may choose the same mode more than once.
• Fiery Confluence deals 1 damage to each creature.
• Fiery Confluence deals 2 damage to each opponent.
• Destroy target artifact.

Quest for the Nihil Stone

Whenever an opponent discards a card, you may put a quest counter on this enchantment.
At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, if that player has no cards in hand and this enchantment has two or more quest counters on it, you may have that player lose 5 life.

Fraying Omnipotence

Each player loses half their life, then discards half the cards in their hand, then sacrifices half the creatures they control of their choice. Round up each time.

Overgrown Tomb

({T}: Add {B} or {G}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Shadowgrange Archfiend

When this creature enters, each opponent sacrifices a creature with the greatest power among creatures they control. You gain life equal to the greatest power among creatures sacrificed this way.
Madness—{2}{B}, Pay 8 life. (If you discard this card, discard it into exile. When you do, cast it for its madness cost or put it into your graveyard.)

Ill-Gotten Inheritance

At the beginning of your upkeep, this enchantment deals 1 damage to each opponent and you gain 1 life.
{5}{B}, Sacrifice this enchantment: It deals 4 damage to target opponent and you gain 4 life.

Zulaport Cutthroat

Whenever this creature or another creature you control dies, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.

Soul Enervation

Flash
When this enchantment enters, target creature gets -4/-4 until end of turn.
Whenever one or more creature cards leave your graveyard, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.

Stomping Ground

({T}: Add {R} or {G}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Doomsday Confluence

Choose X. You may choose the same mode more than once.
• Each player sacrifices a nonartifact creature of their choice.
• Create a 3/3 black Dalek artifact creature token with menace.
• Each opponent discards a card.

Crypt Ghast

Extort (Whenever you cast a spell, you may pay {W/B}. If you do, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain that much life.)
Whenever you tap a Swamp for mana, add an additional {B}.

Bontu's Monument

Black creature spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
Whenever you cast a creature spell, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.

Wound Reflection

At the beginning of each end step, each opponent loses life equal to the life they lost this turn. (Damage causes loss of life.)

Temple Bell

Blood for the Blood God!

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each creature that died this turn.
Discard your hand, then draw eight cards. Blood for the Blood God! deals 8 damage to each opponent. Exile Blood for the Blood God!

Rise of the Witch-king

Each player sacrifices a creature of their choice. If you sacrificed a creature this way, you may return another permanent card from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Temple of the Dead

(Transforms from Aclazotz, Deepest Betrayal.)
{T}: Add {B}.
{2}{B}, {T}: Transform this land. Activate only if a player has one or fewer cards in hand and only as a sorcery.

Aclazotz, Deepest Betrayal

Flying, lifelink
Whenever Aclazotz attacks, each opponent discards a card. For each opponent who can't, you draw a card.
Whenever an opponent discards a land card, create a 1/1 black Bat creature token with flying.
When Aclazotz dies, return it to the battlefield tapped and transformed under its owner's control.

Aclazotz, Deepest Betrayal // Temple of the Dead

Court of Ambition

When this enchantment enters, you become the monarch.
At the beginning of your upkeep, each opponent loses 3 life unless they discard a card. If you're the monarch, instead each opponent loses 6 life unless they discard two cards.

Screeching Scorchbeast

Flying, menace
Whenever this creature attacks, each player gets two rad counters.
Whenever one or more nonland cards are milled, you may create that many 2/2 black Zombie Mutant creature tokens. Do this only once each turn.

Rootweaver Druid

When this creature enters, each opponent may search their library for up to three basic land cards. They each put one of those cards onto the battlefield tapped under your control and the rest onto the battlefield tapped under their control. Then each player who searched their library this way shuffles.

Raven of Fell Omens

Flying
Whenever you commit a crime, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life. This ability triggers only once each turn. (Targeting opponents, anything they control, and/or cards in their graveyards is a crime.)

Ziatora's Proving Ground

({T}: Add {B}, {R}, or {G}.)
This land enters tapped.
Cycling {3} ({3}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Rakish Crew

When this enchantment enters, create a 1/1 red Mercenary creature token with "{T}: Target creature you control gets +1/+0 until end of turn. Activate only as a sorcery."
Whenever an outlaw you control dies, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life. (Assassins, Mercenaries, Pirates, Rogues, and Warlocks are outlaws.)

Vindictive Vampire

Whenever another creature you control dies, this creature deals 1 damage to each opponent and you gain 1 life.