Guff Rewrites History

For each player, choose target nonenchantment, nonland permanent that player controls. Those permanents' owners shuffle them into their libraries. Each player who controlled one of those permanents exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card, then puts the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order. Each player may cast the nonland card they exiled without paying its mana cost.

Avatar of Slaughter

All creatures have double strike and attack each combat if able.

Abstergo Entertainment

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}: Add one mana of any color.
{3}, {T}, Exile Abstergo Entertainment: Return up to one target historic card from your graveyard to your hand, then exile all graveyards. (Artifacts, legendaries, and Sagas are historic.)

Temur Battle Rage

Target creature gains double strike until end of turn.
Ferocious — That creature also gains trample until end of turn if you control a creature with power 4 or greater.

Herigast, Erupting Nullkite

Emerge {6}{R}{R} (You may cast this spell by sacrificing a creature and paying the emerge cost reduced by that creature's mana value.)
When you cast this spell, you may exile your hand. If you do, draw three cards.
Flying
Each creature spell you cast has emerge. The emerge cost is equal to its mana cost.

Sol Ring

Combustible Gearhulk

First strike
When Combustible Gearhulk enters, target opponent may have you draw three cards. If the player doesn't, you mill three cards, then Combustible Gearhulk deals damage to that player equal to the total mana value of those cards.

Skitterbeam Battalion

Prototype {3}{R}{R} — 2/2 (You may cast this spell with different mana cost, color, and size. It keeps its abilities and types.)
Trample, haste
When Skitterbeam Battalion enters, if you cast it, create two tokens that are copies of it.

Hound of Griselbrand

Double strike
Undying (When this creature dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)

Emrakul, the World Anew

When you cast this spell, gain control of all creatures target player controls.
Flying, protection from spells and from permanents that were cast this turn
When Emrakul, the World Anew leaves the battlefield, sacrifice all creatures you control.
Madness—Pay six {C}.

Fathom Fleet Swordjack

Whenever Fathom Fleet Swordjack attacks, it deals damage to the player or planeswalker it's attacking equal to the number of artifacts you control.
Encore {5}{R} ({5}{R}, Exile this card from your graveyard: For each opponent, create a token copy that attacks that opponent this turn if able. They gain haste. Sacrifice them at the beginning of the next end step. Activate only as a sorcery.)

Desperate Ritual

Add {R}{R}{R}.
Splice onto Arcane {1}{R} (As you cast an Arcane spell, you may reveal this card from your hand and pay its splice cost. If you do, add this card's effects to that spell.)

Kozilek's Return

Devoid (This card has no color.)
Kozilek's Return deals 2 damage to each creature.
Whenever you cast an Eldrazi creature spell with mana value 7 or greater, you may exile Kozilek's Return from your graveyard. If you do, Kozilek's Return deals 5 damage to each creature.

Ancestral Statue

When Ancestral Statue enters, return a nonland permanent you control to its owner's hand.

Seize the Spotlight

Each opponent chooses fame or fortune. For each player who chose fame, gain control of a creature that player controls until end of turn. Untap those creatures and they gain haste until end of turn. For each player who chose fortune, you draw a card and create a Treasure token.

Palantír of Orthanc

At the beginning of your end step, put an influence counter on Palantír of Orthanc and scry 2. Then target opponent may have you draw a card. If that player doesn't, you mill X cards, where X is the number of influence counters on Palantír of Orthanc, and that player loses life equal to the total mana value of those cards.

Ox of Agonas

When Ox of Agonas enters, discard your hand, then draw three cards.
Escape—{R}{R}, Exile eight other cards from your graveyard. (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its escape cost.)
Ox of Agonas escapes with a +1/+1 counter on it.

Ulamog, the Ceaseless Hunger

When you cast this spell, exile two target permanents.
Indestructible
Whenever Ulamog, the Ceaseless Hunger attacks, defending player exiles the top twenty cards of their library.

Blast-Furnace Hellkite

Artifact offering (You may cast this spell as thought it had flash by sacrificing an artifact and paying the difference in mana costs between this and the sacrificed artifact. Mana cost includes color.)
Flying, double strike
Creatures attacking your opponents have double strike.

Share the Spoils

When Share the Spoils enters and whenever an opponent loses the game, exile the top card of each player's library.
During each player's turn, that player may play a land or cast a spell from among cards exiled with Share the Spoils, and they may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast that spell. When they do, exile the top card of their library.

Nearheath Stalker

Undying (When this creature dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)

Trumpeting Carnosaur

Trample
When Trumpeting Carnosaur enters, discover 5.
{2}{R}, Discard Trumpeting Carnosaur: It deals 3 damage to target creature or planeswalker.

Detective's Phoenix

Bestow—{R}, Collect evidence 6. (To pay this bestow cost, pay {R} and exile cards with total mana value 6 or greater from your graveyard.)
Flying, haste
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and has flying and haste.
You may cast Detective's Phoenix from your graveyard using its bestow ability.

Jaxis, the Troublemaker

{R}, {T}, Discard a card: Create a token that's a copy of another target creature you control. It gains haste and "When this creature dies, draw a card." Sacrifice it at the beginning of the next end step. Activate only as a sorcery.
Blitz {1}{R} (If you cast this spell for its blitz cost, it gains haste and "When this creature dies, draw a card." Sacrifice it at the beginning of the next end step.)

Lightning Bolt

Lightning Bolt deals 3 damage to any target.

Calamity, Galloping Inferno

Haste
Whenever Calamity, Galloping Inferno attacks while saddled, choose a nonlegendary creature that saddled it this turn and create a tapped and attacking token that's a copy of it. Sacrifice that token at the beginning of the next end step. Repeat this process once.
Saddle 1

Reckless Barbarian

Sacrifice Reckless Barbarian: Add {R}{R}.

Goblin Motivator

{T}: Target creature gains haste until end of turn. (It can attack and {T} this turn.)

Simian Spirit Guide

Exile Simian Spirit Guide from your hand: Add {R}.

Twinflame

Strive — This spell costs {2}{R} more to cast for each target beyond the first.
Choose any number of target creatures you control. For each of them, create a token that's a copy of that creature, except it has haste. Exile those tokens at the beginning of the next end step.

Oblivion Sower

When you cast this spell, target opponent exiles the top four cards of their library, then you may put any number of land cards that player owns from exile onto the battlefield under your control.

Visions of Ruin

Each opponent sacrifices an artifact. For each artifact sacrificed this way, you create a Treasure token.
Flashback {8}{R}{R}. This spell costs {X} less to cast this way, where X is the greatest mana value of a commander you own on the battlefield or in the command zone. (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Excalibur, Sword of Eden

This spell costs {X} less to cast, where X is the total mana value of historic permanents you control. (Artifacts, legendaries, and Sagas are historic.)
Equipped creature gets +10/+0 and has vigilance.
Equip legendary creature {2}

Mishra's Self-Replicator

Whenever you cast a historic spell, you may pay {1}. If you do, create a token that's a copy of Mishra's Self-Replicator. (Artifacts, legendaries, and Sagas are historic.)

Flayer of the Hatebound

Undying (When this creature dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)
Whenever Flayer of the Hatebound or another creature enters from your graveyard, that creature deals damage equal to its power to any target.

Hidden Grotto

When Hidden Grotto enters, surveil 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put it into your graveyard.)
{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}: Add one mana of any color.

Flamekin Herald

Commander spells you cast have cascade. (Whenever you cast a commander, exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card with lesser mana value. You may cast it without paying its mana cost. Put the exiled cards on the bottom in a random order.)

Ulamog, the Defiler

When you cast this spell, target opponent exiles the top half of their library, rounded up.
Ward—Sacrifice two permanents.
Ulamog, the Defiler enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the greatest mana value among cards in exile.
Ulamog has annihilator X, where X is the number of +1/+1 counters on it.

Vandalblast

Destroy target artifact you don't control.
Overload {4}{R} (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change "target" in its text to "each.")

Bloodlust Inciter

{T}: Target creature gains haste until end of turn.

Buried Ruin

{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice Buried Ruin: Return target artifact card from your graveyard to your hand.

Skyfire Phoenix

Flying, haste
When you cast your commander, return Skyfire Phoenix from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Mountain

Molten Monstrosity

This spell costs {X} less to cast, where X is the greatest power among creatures you control.
Trample

Spawnbed Protector

At the beginning of your end step, return up to one target Eldrazi creature card from your graveyard to your hand. Create two 1/1 colorless Eldrazi Scion creature tokens with "Sacrifice this creature: Add {C}."

Molten Duplication

Create a token that's a copy of target artifact or creature you control, except it's an artifact in addition to its other types. It gains haste until end of turn. Sacrifice it at the beginning of the next end step.

Kozilek, the Broken Reality

When you cast this spell, up to two target players each manifest two cards from their hands. For each card manifested this way, you draw a card. (To manifest a card, put it onto the battlefield face down as a 2/2 creature. Turn it face up any time for its mana cost if it's a creature card.)
Other colorless creatures you control get +3/+2.

Ruin Grinder

Menace
When Ruin Grinder dies, each player may discard their hand and draw seven cards.
Mountaincycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Search your library for a Mountain card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.)

Seething Song

Tempt with Mayhem

Tempting offer — Choose target instant or sorcery spell. Each opponent may copy that spell and may choose new targets for the copy they control. You copy that spell once plus an additional time for each opponent who copied the spell this way. You may choose new targets for the copies you control.

Molten Primordial

Haste
When Molten Primordial enters, for each opponent, gain control of up to one target creature that player controls until end of turn. Untap those creatures. They gain haste until end of turn.

Spinerock Knoll

Hideaway 4 (When this land enters, look at the top four cards of your library, exile one face down, then put the rest on the bottom in a random order.)
Spinerock Knoll enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R}.
{R}, {T}: You may play the exiled card without paying its mana cost if an opponent was dealt 7 or more damage this turn.

Haven of the Spirit Dragon

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a Dragon creature spell.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice Haven of the Spirit Dragon: Return target Dragon creature card or Ugin planeswalker card from your graveyard to your hand.

Sneak Attack

{R}: You may put a creature card from your hand onto the battlefield. That creature gains haste. Sacrifice the creature at the beginning of the next end step.

Oxidda Golem

Affinity for Mountains (This spell costs {1} less to cast for each Mountain you control.)
Haste

Hellkite Courser

Flying
When Hellkite Courser enters, you may put a commander you own from the command zone onto the battlefield. It gains haste. Return it to the command zone at the beginning of the next end step.

Homura's Essence

Creatures you control get +2/+2 and have flying and "{R}: This creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn."

Homura, Human Ascendant

Homura, Human Ascendant can't block.
When Homura dies, return it to the battlefield flipped.

Homura, Human Ascendant // Homura's Essence

Exocrine

Ravenous (This creature enters with X +1/+1 counters on it. If X is 5 or more, draw a card when it enters.)
Bio-plasmic Barrage — When Exocrine enters, it deals X damage to each player and each other creature.

Strike It Rich

Create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")
Flashback {2}{R} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Dualcaster Mage

Flash
When Dualcaster Mage enters, copy target instant or sorcery spell. You may choose new targets for the copy.

Crystal Grotto

When Crystal Grotto enters, scry 1.
{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}: Add one mana of any color.

Hideous Taskmaster

Devoid (This card has no color.)
When you cast this spell, for each opponent, gain control of up to one target creature that player controls until end of turn. Untap those creatures. They gain trample, haste, and annihilator 1 until end of turn.
Trample, haste, annihilator 1 (Whenever this creature attacks, defending player sacrifices a permanent.)

Phyrexian Triniform

When Phyrexian Triniform dies, create three 3/3 colorless Phyrexian Golem artifact creature tokens.
Encore {12} ({12}, Exile this card from your graveyard: For each opponent, create a token copy that attacks that opponent this turn if able. They gain haste. Sacrifice them at the beginning of the next end step. Activate only as a sorcery.)

Arena of Glory

Arena of Glory enters tapped unless you control a Mountain.
{T}: Add {R}.
{R}, {T}, Exert Arena of Glory: Add {R}{R}. If that mana is spent on a creature spell, it gains haste until end of turn. (An exerted permanent won't untap during your next untap step.)

Su-Chi Cave Guard

Vigilance
Ward {4} (Whenever this creature becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter it unless that player pays {4}.)
When Su-Chi Cave Guard dies, add eight {C}. Until end of turn, you don't lose this mana as steps and phases end.

Ulamog's Dreadsire

Vigilance
Ward—Sacrifice a permanent with mana value 1 or greater.
{T}: Create a 10/10 colorless Eldrazi creature token.

Artisan of Kozilek

When you cast this spell, you may return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield.
Annihilator 2 (Whenever this creature attacks, defending player sacrifices two permanents.)

Sin Prodder

Menace
At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal the top card of your library. Any opponent may have you put that card into your graveyard. If a player does, Sin Prodder deals damage to that player equal to that card's mana value. Otherwise, put that card into your hand.

Molten Gatekeeper

Whenever another creature you control enters, Molten Gatekeeper deals 1 damage to each opponent.
Unearth {R} ({R}: Return this card from your graveyard to the battlefield. It gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step or if it would leave the battlefield. Unearth only as a sorcery.)

Dragon Breath

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature has haste.
{R}: Enchanted creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn.
When a creature with mana value 6 or greater enters, you may return Dragon Breath from your graveyard to the battlefield attached to that creature.

Industrial Advancement

At the beginning of your end step, you may sacrifice a creature. If you do, look at the top X cards of your library, where X is that creature's mana value. You may put a creature card from among them onto the battlefield. Put the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.