Six-Sided Die

Choose target creature. Roll a six-sided die.
1 — It has base toughness 1 until end of turn.
2 — Put two -1/-1 counters on it.
3 — Six-Sided Die deals 3 damage to it and you gain 3 life.
4 — It gets -4/-4 until end of turn.
5 — Destroy it.
6 — Exile it.

Petting Zookeeper

Reach
When Petting Zookeeper enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Clown Car

When Clown Car enters, roll X six-sided dice. For each odd result, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token. For each even result, put a +1/+1 counter on Clown Car.
Crew 2

Land Aid '04

Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. If you sang a song the whole time you were searching and shuffling, you may untap that land.

Atomwheel Acrobats

Whenever you roll a 1 or 2, put that many +1/+1 counters on Atomwheel Acrobats.
{2}{G}: Roll a six-sided die.

Spinnerette, Arachnobat

Reach
When Spinnerette, Arachnobat enters, open an Attraction.
As long as you control three or more Attractions, Spinnerette gets +2/+0 and has menace.

Soul Swindler

As long as you've visited an Attraction this turn, Soul Swindler has indestructible. (Damage and effects that say "destroy" don't destroy it.)
When Soul Swindler enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Elvish House Party

Elvish House Party's power and toughness are each equal to the current hour, using the twelve-hour system.

Water Gun Balloon Game

As Water Gun Balloon Game enters, each player puts a pop! counter on "0."
Whenever a player casts a spell, move that player's pop! counter up one.
Whenever a player's pop! counter hits "5," that player creates a 5/5 pink Giant Teddy Bear creature token and resets all pop! counters to "0."

Discourtesy Clerk

When Discourtesy Clerk enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
At the beginning of your end step, if you control three or more Attractions, you draw a card and you lose 1 life.

Eye to Eye

You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature.

B-I-N-G-O

Trample
Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.
B-I-N-G-O gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

Saw in Half

Destroy target creature. If that creature dies this way, its controller creates two tokens that are copies of that creature, except their power is half that creature's power and their toughness is half that creature's toughness. Round up each time.

Exit Through the Grift Shop

Yell "Who wants a souvenir?" and announce the name of a nonland card in your graveyard. Each player in an Un-game who can hear you may bid life. You start the bidding at 0. The high bidder loses life equal to the high bid. They copy the card and may cast the copy without paying its mana cost. If you didn't win the bid, you gain life equal to the high bid and create that many Treasure tokens.

Draconian Gate-Bot

When Draconian Gate-Bot enters, choose one —
• Open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
• Destroy target Attraction. (It's put into its owner's junkyard.)

Icing Manipulator

Each +1/+1 counter on a creature you control is also a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")
{3}{G}, {T}: Roll two six-sided dice. For each odd result, put a +1/+1 counter on a creature of your choice. Activate only as a sorcery.

Mana Screw

{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate only as an instant.

Kill! Destroy!

Destroy target nonblack creature.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand.

Plot Armor

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and can't be blocked except by creatures with flavor text.

Step Right Up

Open two Attractions. (Put the top two cards of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Rat in the Hat

{T}, Sacrifice Rat in the Hat: Until end of turn, you may cast target creature card that has a hat from your graveyard.

Animate Graveyard

Enchant your graveyard
Enchanted graveyard is a creature on the battlefield with base power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It has the text boxes of all creature cards in it. It's still a graveyard.
If enchanted graveyard would leave the battlefield, instead exile Animate Graveyard.

Farewell to Arms

As Farewell to Arms enters, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm.
When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice Farewell to Arms. If you do, that player discards their hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.)

Pie-Eating Contest

As an additional cost to cast this spell, gobble X. (Each time you gobble, take a bite of food or sacrifice a Food token.)
X target creatures you control each get +2/+2 and gain trample until end of turn.

Centaur of Attention

When Centaur of Attention enters, roll five six-sided dice and store those results on it.
At the beginning of combat on your turn, you may reroll any number of Centaur of Attention's stored results.
Centaur of Attention gets +X/+X, where X is the greatest number of stored results on it of the same value.

Pair o' Dice Lost

Roll two six-sided dice. Return any number of cards with total mana value X or less from your graveyard to your hand, where X is the total of those results. Exile Pair o' Dice Lost.

Carnival Carnivore

Deathtouch
When Carnival Carnivore enters, you get {TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Coming Attraction

Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. Open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

The Most Dangerous Gamer

Deathtouch
Whenever The Most Dangerous Gamer enters or attacks, open an Attraction.
Whenever you open an Attraction, put a +1/+1 counter on The Most Dangerous Gamer.
Whenever you claim the prize of an Attraction, destroy target permanent.

Quick Fixer

Menace
Whenever Quick Fixer deals combat damage to a player, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Primeval Titan

Trample
Whenever Primeval Titan enters or attacks, you may search your library for up to two land cards, put them onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Blood Crypt

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
As Blood Crypt enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Autograph Book

Autograph Book enters with a page counter on it for each person who has signed it.
{3}, {T}, Remove a page counter from Autograph Book: Draw a card.

Deadbeat Attendant

When Deadbeat Attendant enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Strength-Testing Hammer

Whenever equipped creature attacks, roll a six-sided die. That creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result. Then if it has the greatest power or is tied for greatest power among creatures on the battlefield, draw a card.
Equip {3}