Free-Range Chicken

{1}{G}: Roll two six-sided dice. If both results are the same, Free-Range Chicken gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is that result. If the total of those results is equal to any other total you have rolled this turn for this ability, sacrifice it. (For example, if you roll two 3s, it gets +3/+3. If you roll a 4 and a 2 for this ability later that turn, sacrifice it.)

Chittering Doom

Whenever you roll a 4 or higher on a die, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Dee Kay, Finder of the Lost

When Dee Kay, Finder of the Lost enters, open an Attraction.
Whenever you roll a 2, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.
Whenever you roll a 4, you may tap or untap target artifact or creature.
Whenever you roll a 6, return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.

Bag of Tricks

{4}{G}, {T}: Roll a d8. Reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a creature card with mana value equal to the result. Put that card onto the battlefield and the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.

Captain Rex Nebula

At the beginning of combat on your turn, choose target nonland permanent you control. Until end of turn, it becomes a Vehicle artifact with base power and toughness each equal to its mana value, and it gains crew 2 and "Crash Land — Whenever this Vehicle deals damage, roll a six-sided die. If the result is equal to this Vehicle's mana value, sacrifice this Vehicle, then it deals that much damage to any target."

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.

Masterful Ninja

Haste
Reveal Masterful Ninja from your hand: Masterful Ninja is on the battlefield and in your hand until end of turn.
{1}{B}: Masterful Ninja gets +1/+1 until end of turn.

B.O.B. (Bevy of Beebles)

As B.O.B. enters, create four 1/1 blue Beeble creature tokens.
The number of loyalty counters on B.O.B. is equal to the number of Beebles you control. (Create or sacrifice Beebles whenever B.O.B. gains or loses loyalty.)
+1: Up to X target Beebles can't be blocked this turn, where X is the number of cards in your hand.
−1: Draw a card.

Princess Luna

Flying
When this creature transforms into Princess Luna, choose up to six cards you own from outside the game with a moon in their art, then exile those cards. As long as those cards remain exiled, you may cast them, and your friends may cast them with your permission. (Gifts are appreciated.)

Nightmare Moon

Flying
As long as it's nighttime, Nightmare Moon gets +2/+2 and has menace.
{6}: Transform Nightmare Moon. Anypony may activate this ability or help pay the cost. When they do, they become your friend.

Nightmare Moon // Princess Luna

Our Market Research Shows That Players Like Really Long Card Names So We Made this Card to Have the Absolute Longest Card Name Ever Elemental

Art rampage 2 (Whenever this creature becomes blocked by a creature, it gets +2/+2 for each creature in the blocker's art beyond the first.)

GO TO JAIL

When GO TO JAIL enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until GO TO JAIL leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice GO TO JAIL.

Cultivate

Search your library for up to two basic land cards, reveal those cards, put one onto the battlefield tapped and the other into your hand, then shuffle.

Clay Pigeon

Flying
{1}, Throw Clay Pigeon into the air at least two feet above your head while seated: If you catch Clay Pigeon with one hand, prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to you this turn and tap Clay Pigeon. Otherwise, sacrifice it.

Circuits Act

Roll three six-sided dice. For each different result, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Land Aid '04

Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. If you sang a song the whole time you were searching and shuffling, you may untap that land.

Dungeon Master

+1: Target opponent creates a 1/1 black Skeleton creature token with "When this creature dies, each opponent gains 2 life."
+1: Roll a d20. If you roll a 1, skip your next turn. If you roll a 12 or higher, draw a card.
−6: You get an adventuring party. (Your party is a 3/3 red Fighter with first strike, a 1/1 white Cleric with lifelink, a 2/2 black Rogue with hexproof, and a 1/1 blue Wizard with flying.)

Marsh Flats

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice Marsh Flats: Search your library for a Plains or Swamp card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Isolated Chapel

Isolated Chapel enters tapped unless you control a Plains or a Swamp.
{T}: Add {W} or {B}.

Diviner's Portent

Roll a d20 and add the number of cards in your hand.
1—14 | Draw X cards.
15+ | Scry X, then draw X cards.

Goblin Tutor

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
2 — A card named Goblin Tutor
3 — An enchantment
4 — An artifact
5 — A creature
6 — An instant or sorcery

Stop That

Target player discards a card.
Gotcha — If an opponent audibly flicks the cards in their hand, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Stop That from your graveyard to your hand.

Strategy, Schmategy

Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.
1 — Do nothing.
2 — Destroy all artifacts.
3 — Destroy all lands.
4 — Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.
5 — Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.
6 — Repeat this process two more times.

Johnny, Combo Player

{4}: Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

Verdant Catacombs

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice Verdant Catacombs: Search your library for a Swamp or Forest card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Jack-in-the-Mox

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.
1 — Sacrifice Jack-in-the-Mox and you lose 5 life.
2 — Add {W}.
3 — Add {U}.
4 — Add {B}.
5 — Add {R}.
6 — Add {G}.

Wyll, Blade of Frontiers

If you would roll one or more dice, instead roll that many dice plus one and ignore the lowest roll.
Whenever you roll one or more dice, put a +1/+1 counter on Wyll, Blade of Frontiers.
Choose a Background (You can have a Background as a second commander.)

World-Bottling Kit

{5}, Sacrifice World-Bottling Kit: Choose a Magic set. Exile all permanents with that set's expansion symbol except for basic lands.

Reliquary Tower

You have no maximum hand size.
{T}: Add {C}.

Wooded Foothills

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice Wooded Foothills: Search your library for a Mountain or Forest card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Windswept Heath

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice Windswept Heath: Search your library for a Forest or Plains card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Water Gun Balloon Game

As Water Gun Balloon Game enters, each player puts a pop! counter on "0."
Whenever a player casts a spell, move that player's pop! counter up one.
Whenever a player's pop! counter hits "5," that player creates a 5/5 pink Giant Teddy Bear creature token and resets all pop! counters to "0."

Hydradoodle

As Hydradoodle enters, roll X six-sided dice. Hydradoodle enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the total of those results.
Reach, trample

Smoldering Marsh

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
Smoldering Marsh enters tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Shivan Reef

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}. Shivan Reef deals 1 damage to you.

Yavimaya Coast

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {G} or {U}. Yavimaya Coast deals 1 damage to you.

Caves of Koilos

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {W} or {B}. Caves of Koilos deals 1 damage to you.

Oddly Uneven

Choose one —
• Destroy each creature with an odd number of words in its name. (Hyphenated words are one word.)
• Destroy each creature with an even number of words in its name.

Kharis & The Beholder

Flying
When Kharis & The Beholder enters and at the beginning of your upkeep, create a 1/1 white Human creature token and make a charisma check. (Roll a d20.)
• If the result plus the number of creatures you control is greater than 11, put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control.
• If the result is a natural 20, for each nonlegendary creature you control, create a token that's a copy of that creature.

Sword of Dungeons & Dragons

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.
Equip {2}

Timmy, Power Gamer

{4}: You may put a creature card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Urza, Academy Headmaster

+1: Head to AskUrza.com and click +1.
−1: Head to AskUrza.com and click -1.
−6: Head to AskUrza.com and click -6.

Scalding Tarn

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice Scalding Tarn: Search your library for an Island or Mountain card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

More or Less

Add or subtract 1 or one from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn.

Polluted Delta

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice Polluted Delta: Search your library for an Island or Swamp card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Comet, Stellar Pup

0: Roll a six-sided die.
1 or 2 — [+2], then create two 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens. They gain haste until end of turn.
3 — [−1], then return a card with mana value 2 or less from your graveyard to your hand.
4 or 5 — Comet, Stellar Pup deals damage equal to the number of loyalty counters on him to a creature or player, then [−2].
6 — [+1], and you may activate Comet, Stellar Pup's loyalty ability two more times this turn.

Island

Face to Face

You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.

Mountain

Gimme Five

You gain 1 life for each person who high-fives you in the next thirty seconds. Each player in an Un-game who high-fives you gains 1 life. (Offer high fives. Don't hit people.)

Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

As Luck Would Have It

Hexproof
Whenever you roll a die, put a number of luck counters on As Luck Would Have It equal to the result. Then if there are 100 or more luck counters on As Luck Would Have It, you win the game. (Count both rolls if you reroll a die.)

Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike, trample
Once each turn, while you're searching your library, you may pay {1}{B}, reveal Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil from your library and say "I'm coming, too!" If you do, Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 2 damage to a player of your choice.

Name Dropping

Gotcha — If an opponent says a word that's in the name of a card in your graveyard, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return that card to your hand.

Ol' Buzzbark

When Ol' Buzzbark enters, roll X six-sided dice onto the battlefield from a height of at least X inches. For each die, put a number of +1/+1 counters equal to the result on each creature you control that die is touching. For each die, Ol' Buzzbark deals damage equal to the result to each creature an opponent controls that die is touching.

Ashnod's Coupon

{T}, Sacrifice Ashnod's Coupon: Target player gets you target drink. You pay any costs for the drink.

Karplusan Forest

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {R} or {G}. Karplusan Forest deals 1 damage to you.

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Swamp

Elvish Impersonators

As Elvish Impersonators enters, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.

B-I-N-G-O

Trample
Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.
B-I-N-G-O gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

Look at Me, I'm the DCI

Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)

Pointy Finger of Doom

{3}, {T}: Spin Pointy Finger of Doom in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to.

Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Cinder Glade

({T}: Add {R} or {G}.)
Cinder Glade enters tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Slaying Mantis

Just a second (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can't move permanents.)
Slaying Mantis enters by being thrown from a distance of at least three feet.
When Slaying Mantis enters, it fights each creature an opponent controls that it touched as it entered.

Sunken Hollow

({T}: Add {U} or {B}.)
Sunken Hollow enters tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Forest

Prairie Stream

({T}: Add {W} or {U}.)
Prairie Stream enters tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Canopy Vista

({T}: Add {G} or {W}.)
Canopy Vista enters tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Barbarian Class

(Gain the next level as a sorcery to add its ability.)
If you would roll one or more dice, instead roll that many dice plus one and ignore the lowest roll.
{1}{R}: Level 2
Whenever you roll one or more dice, target creature you control gets +2/+0 and gains menace until end of turn.
{2}{R}: Level 3
Creatures you control have haste.

Chicken Egg

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 6, sacrifice Chicken Egg and create a 4/4 red Giant Bird creature token.

Flavor Judge

{T}: Choose target spell or ability that targets a permanent you control. Then ask a person outside the game if the story of what will happen makes sense. If they say no, sacrifice Flavor Judge and counter that spell or ability.

Some Disassembly Required

{B}, Sacrifice a creature: Distribute the sacrificed creature's keyword abilities among any number of other target creatures until end of turn. If it's December, you gain 1 life for each of those keywords.

Battlefield Forge

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}. Battlefield Forge deals 1 damage to you.

Cheap Ass

Emcee

Whenever another creature enters, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.

Extremely Slow Zombie

Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Mox Lotus

{T}: Add {∞}.
{100}: Add one mana of any color.

Squirrel Dealer

When Squirrel Dealer enters, ask a person outside the game "Do you like Squirrels?" If they do, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Box of Free-Range Goblins

Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the result.

Clifftop Retreat

Clifftop Retreat enters tapped unless you control a Mountain or a Plains.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}.

The Cheese Stands Alone

When you control no permanents other than The Cheese Stands Alone and have no cards in hand, you win the game.

Llanowar Wastes

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {B} or {G}. Llanowar Wastes deals 1 damage to you.

Mr. House, President and CEO

Whenever you roll a 4 or higher, create a 3/3 colorless Robot artifact creature token. If you rolled 6 or higher, instead create that token and a Treasure token.
{4}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die plus an additional six-sided die for each mana from Treasures spent to activate this ability.

Very Cryptic Command

Choose two —
• Scry 3.
• Create a 2/2 black Rogue creature token with menace.
• Add or subtract 1 or one from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn.
• Return all artifacts target player controls to their owner's hand.

Boing!

Return target creature to its owner's hand, then roll a six-sided die. If the result is 3 or less, scry a number of cards equal to the result.

Plains

Ambiguity

Whenever a player plays a spell that counters a spell that has been played or a player plays a spell that comes into play with counters, that player may counter the next spell played or put an additional counter on a permanent that has already been played, but not countered.

Moniker Mage

{U}, Say your middle name: Moniker Mage gains shroud until end of turn.
{U}, Say an opponent's middle name: Moniker Mage gains flying until end of turn.

Bloodstained Mire

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice Bloodstained Mire: Search your library for a Swamp or Mountain card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Alexander Clamilton

Whenever you cast a wordy spell, scry 2. (A spell is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)
{1}{R}, {T}: Choose target creature you don't control. Reveal the top card of your library. Alexander Clamilton gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of lines of rules text of the revealed card. Alexander Clamilton fights that creature.

City of Ass

City of Ass enters tapped.
{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

Clown Car

When Clown Car enters, roll X six-sided dice. For each odd result, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token. For each even result, put a +1/+1 counter on Clown Car.
Crew 2