Zoraline, Cosmos Caller

Flying, vigilance
Whenever a Bat you control attacks, you gain 1 life.
Whenever Zoraline enters or attacks, you may pay {W}{B} and 2 life. When you do, return target nonland permanent card with mana value 3 or less from your graveyard to the battlefield with a finality counter on it.

Valley Questcaller

Whenever one or more other Rabbits, Bats, Birds, and/or Mice you control enter, scry 1.
Other Rabbits, Bats, Birds, and Mice you control get +1/+1.

Enter the Dungeon

Players play a Magic subgame under the table, starting at 5 life and using their libraries as their decks. The winner searches their library for two cards, puts those cards into their hand, then shuffles.

Rules Lawyer

State-based actions don't apply to you or other permanents you control. (You don't lose the game due to having 0 or less life or drawing from an empty library. Your creatures aren't destroyed due to damage or deathtouch and aren't put into a graveyard due to having 0 or less toughness. Your planeswalkers aren't put into a graveyard if they have 0 loyalty. You don't put a legendary permanent into a graveyard if you control two with the same name. Counters aren't removed from your permanents due to game rules. Permanents you control attached or combined illegally remain on the battlefield. For complete rules and regulations, see rule 704.)

Predators' Hour

Until end of turn, creatures you control gain menace and "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, exile the top card of that player's library face down. You may look at and play that card for as long as it remains exiled, and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast that spell."

Starseer Mentor

Flying, vigilance
At the beginning of your end step, if you gained or lost life this turn, target opponent loses 3 life unless they sacrifice a nonland permanent of their choice or discard a card.

Pride of Conquerors

Ascend (If you control ten or more permanents, you get the city's blessing for the rest of the game.)
Creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn. If you have the city's blessing, those creatures get +2/+2 until end of turn instead.

Essence Channeler

As long as you've lost life this turn, Essence Channeler has flying and vigilance.
Whenever you gain life, put a +1/+1 counter on Essence Channeler.
When Essence Channeler dies, put its counters on target creature you control.

Courier Bat

Flying
When Courier Bat enters, if you gained life this turn, return up to one target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.

Doomskar

Destroy all creatures.
Foretell {1}{W}{W} (During your turn, you may pay {2} and exile this card from your hand face down. Cast it on a later turn for its foretell cost.)

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Mudflat Village

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {B}. Spend this mana only to cast a creature spell.
{1}{B}, {T}, Sacrifice Mudflat Village: Return target Bat, Lizard, Rat, or Squirrel card from your graveyard to your hand.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

Lunar Convocation

At the beginning of your end step, if you gained life this turn, each opponent loses 1 life.
At the beginning of your end step, if you gained and lost life this turn, create a 1/1 black Bat creature token with flying.
{1}{B}, Pay 2 life: Draw a card.

Mirkwood Bats

Flying
Whenever you create or sacrifice a token, each opponent loses 1 life.

Tainted Field

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {W} or {B}. Activate only if you control a Swamp.

Paladin Class

(Gain the next level as a sorcery to add its ability.)
Spells your opponents cast during your turn cost {1} more to cast.
{2}{W}: Level 2
Creatures you control get +1/+1.
{4}{W}: Level 3
Whenever you attack, until end of turn, target attacking creature gets +1/+1 for each other attacking creature and gains double strike.

Basilica Screecher

Flying
Extort (Whenever you cast a spell, you may pay {W/B}. If you do, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain that much life.)

Ambition's Cost

You draw three cards and you lose 3 life.

Tragic Slip

Target creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn.
Morbid — That creature gets -13/-13 until end of turn instead if a creature died this turn.

Cloak of the Bat

Equipped creature has flying and haste.
Equip {2} ({2}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Moonstone Harbinger

Flying, deathtouch
Whenever you gain or lose life during your turn, Bats you control get +1/+0 and gain deathtouch until end of turn. This ability triggers only once each turn.

Sex Appeal

Prevent the next 3 damage that would be dealt this turn to any number of targets, divided as you choose. If there are more people in the room of a different gender than you are as you cast this spell, prevent the next 6 damage this way instead.

Starlit Soothsayer

Flying
At the beginning of your end step, if you gained or lost life this turn, surveil 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put it into your graveyard.)

Temple of the Dead

(Transforms from Aclazotz, Deepest Betrayal.)
{T}: Add {B}.
{2}{B}, {T}: Transform Temple of the Dead. Activate only if a player has one or fewer cards in hand and only as a sorcery.

Aclazotz, Deepest Betrayal

Flying, lifelink
Whenever Aclazotz attacks, each opponent discards a card. For each opponent who can't, you draw a card.
Whenever an opponent discards a land card, create a 1/1 black Bat creature token with flying.
When Aclazotz dies, return it to the battlefield tapped and transformed under its owner's control.

Aclazotz, Deepest Betrayal // Temple of the Dead

Sanguine Bond

Whenever you gain life, target opponent loses that much life.

Desecrated Tomb

Whenever one or more creature cards leave your graveyard, create a 1/1 black Bat creature token with flying.

Ace's Baseball Bat

Equipped creature gets +3/+0.
As long as equipped creature is attacking, it has first strike and must be blocked by a Dalek if able.
Equip legendary creature {1}
Equip {3}

Red-Hot Hottie

Whenever Red-Hot Hottie deals damage to a creature, put a third-degree-burn counter on that creature. It gains "At the beginning of each end step, sacrifice this creature unless you scream 'Aaah!' at the top of your lungs."

Patchwork Banner

As Patchwork Banner enters, choose a creature type.
Creatures you control of the chosen type get +1/+1.
{T}: Add one mana of any color.

Our Market Research Shows That Players Like Really Long Card Names So We Made this Card to Have the Absolute Longest Card Name Ever Elemental

Art rampage 2 (Whenever this creature becomes blocked by a creature, it gets +2/+2 for each creature in the blocker's art beyond the first.)

Exquisite Blood

Whenever an opponent loses life, you gain that much life.

Whenever a creature deals damage to a player, that player may say "Ow" once for each permanent named Ow. If the player doesn't, Ow deals 1 damage to them.

Belfry Spirit

Flying
Haunt (When this creature dies, exile it haunting target creature.)
When Belfry Spirit enters or the creature it haunts dies, create two 1/1 black Bat creature tokens with flying.

Swords to Plowshares

Exile target creature. Its controller gains life equal to its power.

Haunted One

Commander creatures you own have "Whenever this creature becomes tapped, it and other creatures you control that share a creature type with it each get +2/+0 and gain undying until end of turn." (When a creature with undying dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)

Dirge Bat

Mutate {4}{B}{B} (If you cast this spell for its mutate cost, put it over or under target non-Human creature you own. They mutate into the creature on top plus all abilities from under it.)
Flash
Flying
Whenever this creature mutates, destroy target creature or planeswalker an opponent controls.

Sorin, Ravenous Neonate

Extort (Whenever you cast a spell, you may pay {W/B}. If you do, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain that much life.)
+2: Create a Food token.
−1: Sorin, Ravenous Neonate deals damage equal to the amount of life you gained this turn to any target.
−6: Gain control of target creature. It becomes a Vampire in addition to its other types. Put a lifelink counter on it if you control a white permanent other than that creature or Sorin.

Sorin of House Markov

Lifelink
Extort (Whenever you cast a spell, you may pay {W/B}. If you do, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain that much life.)
At the beginning of each of your postcombat main phases, if you gained 3 or more life this turn, exile Sorin of House Markov, then return him to the battlefield transformed under his owner's control.

Sorin of House Markov // Sorin, Ravenous Neonate

Regal Bloodlord

Flying
At the beginning of each end step, if you gained life this turn, create a 1/1 black Bat creature token with flying.

Wispdrinker Vampire

Flying
Whenever another creature you control with power 2 or less enters, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.
{5}{W}{B}: Creatures you control with power 2 or less gain deathtouch and lifelink until end of turn.

Field-Tested Frying Pan

When Field-Tested Frying Pan enters, create a Food token, then create a 1/1 white Halfling creature token and attach Field-Tested Frying Pan to it.
Equipped creature has "Whenever you gain life, this creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the amount of life you gained."
Equip {2}

Starscape Cleric

Offspring {2}{B} (You may pay an additional {2}{B} as you cast this spell. If you do, when this creature enters, create a 1/1 token copy of it.)
Flying
This creature can't block.
Whenever you gain life, each opponent loses 1 life.

capital offense

target creature gets -x/-x until end of turn, where x is the number of times a capital letter appears in its rules text. (ignore reminder text and flavor text.)

Caretaker's Talent

(Gain the next level as a sorcery to add its ability.)
Whenever one or more tokens you control enter, draw a card. This ability triggers only once each turn.
{W}: Level 2
When this Class becomes level 2, create a token that's a copy of target token you control.
{3}{W}: Level 3
Creature tokens you control get +2/+2.

Gurmag Swiftwing

Valley Rotcaller

Menace
Whenever Valley Rotcaller attacks, each opponent loses X life and you gain X life, where X is the number of other Squirrels, Bats, Lizards, and Rats you control.

Deep-Cavern Bat

Flying, lifelink
When Deep-Cavern Bat enters, look at target opponent's hand. You may exile a nonland card from it until Deep-Cavern Bat leaves the battlefield.

Stop That

Target player discards a card.
Gotcha — If an opponent audibly flicks the cards in their hand, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Stop That from your graveyard to your hand.

Ruin-Lurker Bat

Flying, lifelink
At the beginning of your end step, if you descended this turn, scry 1. (You descended if a permanent card was put into your graveyard from anywhere.)

Skeletal Vampire

Flying
When Skeletal Vampire enters, create two 1/1 black Bat creature tokens with flying.
{3}{B}{B}, Sacrifice a Bat: Create two 1/1 black Bat creature tokens with flying.
Sacrifice a Bat: Regenerate Skeletal Vampire.

Malakir Familiar

Flying, deathtouch
Whenever you gain life, Malakir Familiar gets +1/+1 until end of turn.

Moonrise Cleric

Flying
Whenever Moonrise Cleric attacks, you gain 1 life.

Caves of Koilos

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {W} or {B}. Caves of Koilos deals 1 damage to you.

Double Dip

Choose another player. You gain 5 life. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, you gain 5 life.

Ajani's Welcome

Whenever a creature you control enters, you gain 1 life.

Concealed Courtyard

Concealed Courtyard enters tapped unless you control two or fewer other lands.
{T}: Add {W} or {B}.

Batwing Brume

Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt this turn if {W} was spent to cast this spell. Each player loses 1 life for each attacking creature they control if {B} was spent to cast this spell. (Do both if {W}{B} was spent.)

Darkstar Augur

Offspring {B} (You may pay an additional {B} as you cast this spell. If you do, when this creature enters, create a 1/1 token copy of it.)
Flying
At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal the top card of your library and put that card into your hand. You lose life equal to its mana value.

Question Elemental?

Did you know this creature has flying?
Are you aware that any time you say something that isn't a question, when a player points out this fact first, they gain control of Question Elemental?

Dawn

Aftermath (Cast this spell only from your graveyard. Then exile it.)
Return all creature cards with power 2 or less from your graveyard to your hand.

Dusk

Destroy all creatures with power 3 or greater.

Dusk // Dawn

Disemvowel

Destroy target creature. That creature's controller loses 1 life for each unique vowel in the creature's name. (The vowels are A, E, I, O, U, and Y.)

Emcee

Whenever another creature enters, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.

Cleric Class

(Gain the next level as a sorcery to add its ability.)
If you would gain life, you gain that much life plus 1 instead.
{3}{W}: Level 2
Whenever you gain life, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you control.
{4}{W}: Level 3
When this Class becomes level 3, return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield. You gain life equal to that creature's toughness.

Rally of Wings

Untap all creatures you control. Creatures you control with flying get +2/+2 until end of turn.

Anointer Priest

Whenever a creature token you control enters, you gain 1 life.
Embalm {3}{W} ({3}{W}, Exile this card from your graveyard: Create a token that's a copy of it, except it's a white Zombie Human Cleric with no mana cost. Embalm only as a sorcery.)

Foul-Tongue Shriek

Target opponent loses 1 life for each attacking creature you control. You gain that much life.

Star Charter

Flying
At the beginning of your end step, if you gained or lost life this turn, look at the top four cards of your library. You may reveal a creature card with power 3 or less from among them and put it into your hand. Put the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.

Astarion, the Decadent

Deathtouch, lifelink
At the beginning of your end step, choose one —
• Feed — Target opponent loses life equal to the amount of life they lost this turn.
• Friends — You gain life equal to the amount of life you gained this turn.

Moonstone Eulogist

Flying
Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, you create a Blood token. (It's an artifact with "{1}, {T}, Discard a card, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.")
Whenever you sacrifice an artifact, put a +1/+1 counter on Moonstone Eulogist and you gain 1 life.