A Real Handful

As long as one or more hands are touching this creature, it gets +2/+2.
As long as two or more hands are touching this creature, it has menace.
As long as three or more hands are touching this creature, it has lifelink.

Centaur of Attention

When this creature enters, roll five six-sided dice and store those results on it.
At the beginning of combat on your turn, you may reroll any number of this creature's stored results.
This creature gets +X/+X, where X is the greatest number of stored results on it of the same value.

Xenosquirrels

This creature enters with two +1/+1 counters on it.
After you roll a die, you may remove a +1/+1 counter from this creature. If you do, increase or decrease the result by 1.

Tarnation Vista

This land enters tapped. As it enters, choose a color.
{T}: Add one mana of the chosen color.
{1}, {T}: For each color among monocolored permanents you control, add one mana of that color.

Attempted Murder

Choose target creature. Roll X six-sided dice. For each even result, put two -1/-1 counters on that creature. For each odd result, create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.

Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Black Hole

Destroy target creature and up to X other target creatures, where X is the number of Attractions you've visited this turn.

Embiggen

Until end of turn, target non-Brushwagg creature gets +1/+1 for each supertype, card type, and subtype it has.

Scooch

Add or subtract 1 from target creature's power, target player's life total, or target die roll's result.
Draw a card.

Questionable Cuisine

Return up to two target creature cards from your graveyard to your hand. Create a Food token for each trash can you can see from your seat. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this token: You gain 3 life.")

Done for the Day

At the beginning of your end step, if you control an Employee, a Performer, or a Robot, you may get {TK} or create a Treasure token. If you control all three, you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Night Shift of the Living Dead

After you roll a die, you may pay 1 life. If you do, increase or decrease the result by 1. Do this only once each turn.
Whenever you roll a 6, create a 2/2 black Zombie Employee creature token.

Killer Cosplay

Whenever this Equipment becomes attached to a creature, choose a creature card name with an identical mana cost. That creature becomes a copy of the card with the chosen name until this Equipment becomes unattached from it.
Equip {3}

Nearby Planet

Rangeling (This card is every land type, including Plains, Island, Swamp, Mountain, Forest, Desert, Gate, Lair, Locus, and all those Urza's ones.)
This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, sacrifice it unless you pay {1}.

Hardy of Myra's Marvels

As Hardy of Myra's Marvels enters, choose a number.
Whenever you cast a spell with the chosen number of lines of flavor text, put that many +1/+1 counters on target creature.
Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Fight the _____ Fight

Enchant creature you control
When this Aura enters, you may put a name sticker on it. When you do, enchanted creature fights up to one target creature you don't control.
Enchanted creature gets +0/+2 for each name sticker on this Aura with eight or more letters.

Squirrel Squatters

When this creature enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
Whenever this creature attacks, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token that's tapped and attacking for each Attraction you've visited this turn.

Discourtesy Clerk

When this creature enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
At the beginning of your end step, if you control three or more Attractions, you draw a card and you lose 1 life.

Finishing Move

You get {TK}{TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Target creature you control deals damage equal to its power to target creature you don't control.

Mistakes Were Made

Destroy target artifact or enchantment. Create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token for each fire extinguisher you can see from your seat.

Down for Repairs

Target opponent reveals their hand. You choose a nonland card from it. That player discards that card. Destroy up to one target Attraction that player controls. (It's put into their junkyard.)

Park Map

{1}, Sacrifice this artifact: Search your library for a land card that doesn't have the same art as a permanent you control, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Deadbeat Attendant

When this creature enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Scared Stiff

This creature has menace as long as you control a stickered permanent.

Grabby Tabby

This creature has vigilance as long as you control a stickered permanent.

Spinnerette, Arachnobat

Reach
When Spinnerette enters, open an Attraction.
As long as you control three or more Attractions, Spinnerette gets +2/+0 and has menace.

Disemvowel

Destroy target creature. That creature's controller loses 1 life for each unique vowel in the creature's name. (The vowels are A, E, I, O, U, and Y.)

Line Cutter

When this creature enters, roll to visit your Attractions.

Lineprancers

When Lineprancers enters, you get {TK}{TK}, then you may put a power and toughness sticker on a creature you own.
{3}{G}: Target creature you don't control blocks target creature you control with a power and toughness sticker on it other than Lineprancers this turn if able.

Coming Attraction

Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. Open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Step Right Up

Open two Attractions. (Put the top two cards of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Blorbian Buddy

Trample
{G}, {T}: You get {TK} (a ticket counter).

_____-o-saurus

Trample
When this creature enters, you may put a name sticker on it. Put a +1/+1 counter on it for each unique vowel on that sticker. (The vowels are A, E, I, O, U, and Y.)

Swamp

Pair o' Dice Lost

Roll two six-sided dice. Return any number of cards with total mana value X or less from your graveyard to your hand, where X is the total of those results. Exile Pair o' Dice Lost.

Atomwheel Acrobats

Whenever you roll a 1 or 2, put that many +1/+1 counters on this creature.
{2}{G}: Roll a six-sided die.

Autograph Book

This artifact enters with a page counter on it for each person who has signed it.
{3}, {T}, Remove a page counter from this artifact: Draw a card.

Vegetation Abomination

Deathtouch
{T}, Sacrifice this creature: Roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

Scampire

When Scampire enters, you get {TK}, then you may put a sticker on a creature card in your graveyard.
{3}{B}: Return target creature card with a sticker on it from your graveyard to the battlefield. That creature gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step. Activate only as a sorcery.

Plot Armor

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and can't be blocked except by creatures with flavor text.

Six-Sided Die

Choose target creature. Roll a six-sided die.
1 — It has base toughness 1 until end of turn.
2 — Put two -1/-1 counters on it.
3 — Six-Sided Die deals 3 damage to it and you gain 3 life.
4 — It gets -4/-4 until end of turn.
5 — Destroy it.
6 — Exile it.

Clandestine Chameleon

When Clandestine Chameleon enters, you get {TK}{TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.
Clandestine Chameleon has all abilities of ability stickers on other permanents you own and cards in your graveyard.

Terramorphic Expanse

{T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Overgrown Tomb

({T}: Add {B} or {G}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Soul Swindler

As long as you've visited an Attraction this turn, this creature has indestructible. (Damage and effects that say "destroy" don't destroy it.)
When this creature enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

The Big Top

{T}: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)

Resolute Veggiesaur

Trample
Whenever you roll your third die each turn, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.

Carnival Carnivore

Deathtouch
When Carnival Carnivore enters, you get {TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Chicken Troupe

Ward {2} (Whenever this creature becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter it unless that player pays {2}.)
When Chicken Troupe enters, you get {TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Pie-Eating Contest

As an additional cost to cast this spell, gobble X. (Each time you gobble, take a bite of food or sacrifice a Food token.)
X target creatures you control each get +2/+2 and gain trample until end of turn.

An Incident Has Occurred

Choose one or both —
• Destroy target creature with flying.
• Destroy target Attraction. (It's put into its owner's junkyard.)
You may apologize. If you do, you gain 3 life.

Gray Merchant of Alphabet

When this creature enters, choose a letter. For each creature you control that has the chosen letter in its name, you gain 1 life and each opponent loses 1 life.

Tchotchke Elemental

Whenever you create a token or put a counter or a sticker on another permanent, put a knickknack counter on this creature. Use a unique item that completely fits on this creature for each knickknack counter.
This creature gets +1/+1 for each knickknack counter on it.

Last Voyage of the _____

When this enchantment enters, you may put a name sticker on it, then it becomes an Aura with enchant creature. Return a creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield and attach this Aura to it.
Enchanted creature gets +2/+0 for each name sticker on this Aura with seven or fewer letters.
When this Aura leaves the battlefield, sacrifice enchanted creature.

Nocturno of Myra's Marvels

As Nocturno of Myra's Marvels enters, choose a word with five or more letters.
Whenever you cast a spell with the chosen word in its rules text, you draw a card and you lose 2 life.
Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Icing Manipulator

Each +1/+1 counter on a creature you control is also a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this token: You gain 3 life.")
{3}{G}, {T}: Roll two six-sided dice. For each odd result, put a +1/+1 counter on a creature of your choice. Activate only as a sorcery.

Animate Graveyard

Enchant your graveyard
Enchanted graveyard is a creature on the battlefield with base power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It has the text boxes of all creature cards in it. It's still a graveyard.
If enchanted graveyard would leave the battlefield, instead exile this Aura.

Rat in the Hat

{T}, Sacrifice this creature: Until end of turn, you may cast target creature card that has a hat from your graveyard.

Sole Performer

{T}: Add {T}{T}. Activate only once each turn. (While activating an ability, use {T} rather than tapping the permanent to pay for {T}.)

Dissatisfied Customer

Flying, haste
When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. If the result is 3 or less, you lose that much life.

Blooming Marsh

This land enters tapped unless you control two or fewer other lands.
{T}: Add {B} or {G}.

Petting Zookeeper

Reach
When this creature enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Blue Ribbon

When this Equipment enters, ask a person outside the game which creature you control is most deserving of a blue ribbon. Attach this Equipment to that creature.
Equipped creature has best in show. (Whenever another creature becomes the target of a spell or ability you control, you may copy that spell or ability. If you do, the copy targets this creature.)
Equip {3}

Spelling Bee

Flying, deathtouch
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player looks at the top card of your library and chooses a word on that card. You spell that word. If you spell it correctly, draw a card. Otherwise, scry 1.

Quick Fixer

Menace
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Alpha Guard

When this creature enters, choose a letter.
{T}: Untap another target permanent whose name starts with the chosen letter.

Haberthrasher

Deathtouch
Whenever another creature you control that has a hat enters or a hat sticker is put on a creature you control, each opponent loses 1 life.

Ticket Turbotubes

{T}: Add one mana of any color.
{3}, {T}: You get {TK} (a ticket counter).

Stiltstrider

Reach
When Stiltstrider enters, you get {TK}{TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Forest

Wolf in _____ Clothing

When this creature enters, you may put a name sticker on it. When you do, up to X target creatures each get -1/-1 until end of turn, where X is the number of unique vowels on that sticker. (The vowels are A, E, I, O, U, and Y.)