Lae'zel's Acrobatics

Exile all nontoken creatures you control, then roll a d20.
1—9 | Return those cards to the battlefield under their owner's control at the beginning of the next end step.
10—20 | Return those cards to the battlefield under their owner's control, then exile them again. Return those cards to the battlefield under their owner's control at the beginning of the next end step.

Strength-Testing Hammer

Whenever equipped creature attacks, roll a six-sided die. That creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result. Then if it has the greatest power or is tied for greatest power among creatures on the battlefield, draw a card.
Equip {3}

Food

{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this token: You gain 3 life.

Pie-roclasm

This creature deals π damage to each non-Clown creature. (How to calculate π isn't important. It's a smidgen more than 3.)

Omniclown Colossus

Affinity for Clowns (This spell costs {1} less to cast for each Clown you control.)
Trample

Omniclown Colossus // Pie-roclasm

Balloon Stand

Visit — Choose one.
• Create a 1/1 red Balloon creature token with flying.
• Sacrifice a Balloon. If you do, target creature gains flying until end of turn.

Securitron Squadron

Squad {3} (As an additional cost to cast this spell, you may pay {3} any number of times. When this creature enters, create that many tokens that are copies of it.)
Vigilance
Whenever a creature token you control enters, put a +1/+1 counter on it.

Chaos Warp

The owner of target permanent shuffles it into their library, then reveals the top card of their library. If it's a permanent card, they put it onto the battlefield.

Park Re-Entry

Return up to two target creature cards that each have a hat and/or mana value 3 or less from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Tunnel of Love

Visit — Choose an opponent. They choose a creature they control, then you choose a creature you control. You may exile the chosen creatures. If you do, return them to the battlefield under their owners' control at the beginning of the next end step. Otherwise, the chosen creatures fight each other.

Conjurer's Closet

At the beginning of your end step, you may exile target creature you control, then return that card to the battlefield under your control.

Copy

(This token can be used to represent a token that's a copy of a permanent.)

Swinging Ship

Visit — After the first combat phase this turn, there's an additional combat phase. At the beginning of that combat, untap all creatures that attacked this turn.

Lobe Lobber

Equipped creature has "{T}: This creature deals 1 damage to target player or planeswalker. Roll a six-sided die. On a 5 or higher, untap it."
Equip {2}

Rad Rascal

When this creature enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Sol Ring

One-Clown Band

{2}{R}: Target Robot gets +2/+0 until end of turn.

Clown Car

When this Vehicle enters, roll X six-sided dice. For each odd result, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token. For each even result, put a +1/+1 counter on this Vehicle.
Crew 2

Clowning Around

Create two 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature tokens, then roll a six-sided die. If the result is equal to or less than the number of Robots you control, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Clown Robot

Gimme Five

You gain 1 life for each person who high-fives you in the next thirty seconds. Each player in an Un-game who high-fives you gains 1 life. (Offer high fives. Don't hit people.)

Summoning Station

{T}: Create a 2/2 colorless Pincher creature token.
Whenever an artifact is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, you may untap this artifact.

Draconian Gate-Bot

When this creature enters, choose one —
• Open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
• Destroy target Attraction. (It's put into its owner's junkyard.)

Leading Performance

Choose two letters. Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control whose name begins with either of the chosen letters.

Cursed Mirror

{T}: Add {R}.
As this artifact enters, you may have it become a copy of any creature on the battlefield until end of turn, except it has haste.

Assembled Ensemble

Vigilance
Assembled Ensemble's power is equal to the number of Robots you control.
Whenever you cast a spell with an artifact creature in its art, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Complaints Clerk

When this creature enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
Whenever you roll a 1, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Plains

Goblin Blastronauts

When this creature enters, open an Attraction.
Whenever you roll a 6, you may copy the spell, ability, or Attraction visit that caused you to roll that die. You may choose new targets for the copy.

Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Witty Roastmaster

Alliance — Whenever another creature you control enters, this creature deals 1 damage to each opponent.

Cabaretti Courtyard

When this land enters, sacrifice it. When you do, search your library for a basic Mountain, Forest, or Plains card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle and you gain 1 life.

Ashnod's Coupon

{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Target player gets you target drink. You pay any costs for the drink.

Circuits Act

Roll three six-sided dice. For each different result, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Ladies' Knight

Flying
Spells cast by players wearing at least one item of women's clothing cost {1} less to cast. (You can define women's clothing as you see fit. Be reasonable.)

Krark's Other Thumb

If you would roll a die, instead roll two of those dice and ignore one of those results.

Organic Extinction

Improvise (Your artifacts can help cast this spell. Each artifact you tap after you're done activating mana abilities pays for {1}.)
Destroy all nonartifact creatures.

Goblin Girder Gang

Reach
Whenever you roll a die, if the result isn't stored on this creature, you may store that result on it. When you do, this creature deals 1 damage to any target without a hat.
This creature gets +1/+0 for each result stored on it.

Slight Malfunction

Choose one —
• Destroy target artifact.
• Roll a six-sided die. When you do, Slight Malfunction deals 1 damage to each of up to X target creatures, where X is the result.

Elesh Norn, Mother of Machines

Vigilance
If a permanent entering causes a triggered ability of a permanent you control to trigger, that ability triggers an additional time.
Permanents entering don't cause abilities of permanents your opponents control to trigger.

Ride Guide

Non-Human Cannonball

When this creature dies, roll a six-sided die. If the result is 4 or less, this creature deals that much damage to you.

Form of the Approach of the Second Sun

When this enchantment enters, you gain 7 life. You become a card until you leave your library or that library is shuffled. Put yourself seventh from the top, balancing the cards on top of you on your head.
When you draw yourself, you win the game.
When one or more cards fall off your head, exile them and all cards on your head, then sacrifice this enchantment.

Ticket Turbotubes

{T}: Add one mana of any color.
{3}, {T}: You get {TK} (a ticket counter).

Concession Stand

Visit — Create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")

Hammer Helper

Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature and roll a six-sided die. Until end of turn, it gains haste and gets +X/+0, where X is the result.

Anointed Procession

If an effect would create one or more tokens under your control, it creates twice that many of those tokens instead.

Hedron Detonator

Whenever an artifact you control enters, this creature deals 1 damage to target opponent.
{T}, Sacrifice two artifacts: Exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn.

Settle Beyond Reality

Choose one or both —
• Exile target creature you don't control.
• Exile target creature you control, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control.

Bar Entry

Choose one —
• Destroy target creature with power 4 or greater.
• Destroy target creature with any part of its head higher than the bar. (Align the tops of both cards to check.)

Scrapheap

Whenever an artifact or enchantment is put into your graveyard from the battlefield, you gain 1 life.

Reckless Fireweaver

Whenever an artifact you control enters, this creature deals 1 damage to each opponent.

Starlight Spectacular

Parade! — At the beginning of combat on your turn, choose creatures you control one at a time until each creature you control has been chosen. Each of those creatures gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each creature chosen before it. (Places everyone! The first creature in line gets +0/+0.)

Clown Extruder

Visit — Create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

D00-DL, Caricaturist

When D00-DL, Caricaturist enters, create a 4/4 colorless Sketch creature token, which you have fifteen seconds to draw. The token has flying if it has wings in its art. The same is true for first strike and a sword, vigilance and a shield, menace and mean eyes, trample and horns, deathtouch and claws, lifelink and fangs, and haste and footwear.

Balloon

Face to Face

You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.

Spectator Seating

This land enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}.

Teleportation Circle

At the beginning of your end step, exile up to one target artifact or creature you control, then return that card to the battlefield under its owner's control.

Mountain

GO TO JAIL

When this enchantment enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until this enchantment leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice this enchantment.

Emcee

Whenever another creature enters, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.

Priority Boarding

Whenever you roll a die, you may reveal the top card of your library. Do this only once each turn. Whenever you reveal a card with mana value less than the result this way, you may exile it. If you do, you may play it this turn.

Trash Bin

Visit — Mill two cards, then return a card at random from your graveyard to your hand. (To mill a card, a player puts the top card of their library into their graveyard.)

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice this artifact.

Pointy Finger of Doom

{3}, {T}: Spin this artifact in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to.

Sacred Foundry

({T}: Add {R} or {W}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

The Big Top

{T}: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)

Jester's Mask

This artifact enters tapped.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Target opponent puts the cards from their hand on top of their library. Search that player's library for that many cards. That player puts those cards into their hand, then shuffles.

Just Desserts

Just Desserts deals π damage to target creature. (π is the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. (It's a smidgen more than 3.))

Panharmonicon

If an artifact or creature entering causes a triggered ability of a permanent you control to trigger, that ability triggers an additional time.

Brazen Dwarf

Whenever you roll one or more dice, this creature deals 1 damage to each opponent.

Frankie Peanuts

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may ask target player a yes-or-no question. If you do, that player answers the question truthfully and abides by that answer if able until end of turn.

Fortune Teller

Dispatch

Tap target creature.
Metalcraft — If you control three or more artifacts, exile that creature.

T.A.P.P.E.R.

{T}, Tap an untapped creature you control that has a hat: Tap target creature.

Haunted House

Visit — Return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield. It gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of your next end step.

Inventors' Fair

At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control three or more artifacts, you gain 1 life.
{T}: Add {C}.
{4}, {T}, Sacrifice Inventors' Fair: Search your library for an artifact card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle. Activate only if you control three or more artifacts.

Squirrel

Pietra, Crafter of Clowns

Haste
Robots you control get +1/+1.
{R}{W}, {T}, Tell a joke you haven't told this game to someone outside the game: Create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token. If that person laughed, the token gains haste until end of turn.

Celebr-8000

At the beginning of combat on your turn, roll two six-sided dice. For each result of 1, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn. For each other result, it gains the indicated ability until end of turn. If you rolled doubles, it also gains double strike until end of turn.
• 2 — menace
• 3 — vigilance
• 4 — lifelink
• 5 — flying
• 6 — indestructible

Water Gun Balloon Game

As this artifact enters, each player puts a pop! counter on "0."
Whenever a player casts a spell, move that player's pop! counter up one.
Whenever a player's pop! counter hits "5," that player creates a 5/5 pink Giant Teddy Bear creature token and resets all pop! counters to "0."

Comet, Stellar Pup

0: Roll a six-sided die.
1 or 2 — [+2], then create two 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens. They gain haste until end of turn.
3 — [−1], then return a card with mana value 2 or less from your graveyard to your hand.
4 or 5 — Comet deals damage equal to the number of loyalty counters on him to a creature or player, then [−2].
6 — [+1], and you may activate Comet's loyalty ability two more times this turn.

Ticking Mime Bomb

When this creature enters, without speaking or indicating any specific creature, pantomime to a person outside the game, then they choose a creature you don't control. This creature deals damage equal to twice the number of Robots you control to the chosen creature.

Information Booth

Surprise Party

When this enchantment enters, yell "Surprise!" and put onto the battlefield any number of printed Clown Robot tokens that aren't touching each other, that you hid on the battlefield before you cast this enchantment, and that weren't spotted by an opponent before you cast this enchantment.
Robots you control get +1/+0 and have vigilance.