Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Flaccify

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {3}{½}.

Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle

As Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle enters, you and an opponent each secretly choose Whack or Doodle. Then those choices are revealed. If the choices match, Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle has that ability. Otherwise, it has Buzz.
• Whack — {T}: Target player loses 2 life.
• Doodle — {T}: You gain 3 life.
• Buzz — {2}, {T}: Draw a card.

Frazzled Editor

Protection from wordy (Something is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)

Abstract Iguanart

Whenever you cast a spell, note the first letter of its artist's name. If that letter wasn't already noted, put a +1/+1 counter on Abstract Iguanart.

Pointy Finger of Doom

{3}, {T}: Spin Pointy Finger of Doom in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to.

Chicken à la King

Whenever a 6 is rolled on a six-sided die, put a +1/+1 counter on each Bird. (You may roll dice only when instructed to.)
Tap an untapped Bird you control: Roll a six-sided die. (Like now.)

Infinity Elemental

Clam Session

As Clam Session enters, choose a word.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may sing at least six words of a song, at least one of which is the chosen word. If you don't, sacrifice Clam Session. You can't repeat a song.

Greater Morphling

{2}: Greater Morphling gains your choice of banding, bushido 1, double strike, fear, flying, first strike, haste, landwalk of your choice, protection from a color of your choice, provoke, rampage 1, shadow, or trample until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling becomes the colors of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling becomes the creature type of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling's expansion symbol becomes the symbol of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling's art becomes by the artist of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling gets +2/-2 or -2/+2 until end of turn.
{2}: Untap Greater Morphling.

Modular Monstrosity

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you have five seconds to choose a keyword you haven't chosen for a card named Modular Monstrosity today that's been printed on a creature card. If you do, Modular Monstrosity gains that ability. Otherwise, Modular Monstrosity loses all keyword abilities.

Censorship

As Censorship enters, choose a word.
Whenever a player says the chosen word, Censorship deals 2 damage to that player.

Spell Counter

Counter target spell.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "spell" or "counter," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Spell Counter from your graveyard to your hand.

Steamflogger Temp

{6}, {T}: Steamflogger Temp assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Island

Rod of Spanking

{2}, {T}: Rod of Spanking deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap Rod of Spanking unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

The Big Idea

{2}{B/R}{B/R}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Brainiac creature tokens equal to the result.
Tap three untapped Brainiacs you control: The next time you would roll a six-sided die, instead roll two six-sided dice and use the total of those results.

Everflowing Chalice

Multikicker {2} (You may pay an additional {2} any number of times as you cast this spell.)
Everflowing Chalice enters with a charge counter on it for each time it was kicked.
{T}: Add {C} for each charge counter on Everflowing Chalice.

Swiftwater Cliffs

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, you gain 1 life.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Free-for-All

When Free-for-All enters, exile all creatures face down.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player chooses a card exiled with Free-for-All at random and puts it onto the battlefield.
When Free-for-All leaves the battlefield, put all cards exiled with it into their owners' graveyards.

Very Cryptic Command

Choose two —
• Counter target black-bordered spell.
• Return target creature to its owner's hand.
• Untap each permanent you control with a watermark.
• Roll two six-sided dice. Target player mills X cards, where X is the total of those results.

Six-y Beast

As Six-y Beast enters, you secretly put six or fewer +1/+1 counters on it, then an opponent guesses the number of counters. If that player guesses right, sacrifice Six-y Beast after it enters.

Face to Face

You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.

Mise

Choose a nonland card name, then reveal the top card of your library. If that card has the chosen name, you draw three cards.

Alexander Clamilton

Whenever you cast a wordy spell, scry 2. (A spell is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)
{1}{R}, {T}: Choose target creature you don't control. Reveal the top card of your library. Alexander Clamilton gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of lines of rules text of the revealed card. Alexander Clamilton fights that creature.

Stet, Draconic Proofreader

Flying
Whenever Stet, Draconic Proofreader attacks, you may exile a card from your graveyard. When you do, Stet, Draconic Proofreader deals 4 damage to any target whose name begins with the same letter as the exiled card.
{W}: Delete the first letter of target permanent or player's name until end of turn.

Water Gun Balloon Game

As Water Gun Balloon Game enters, each player puts a pop! counter on "0."
Whenever a player casts a spell, move that player's pop! counter up one.
Whenever a player's pop! counter hits "5," that player creates a 5/5 pink Giant Teddy Bear creature token and resets all pop! counters to "0."

World-Bottling Kit

{5}, Sacrifice World-Bottling Kit: Choose a Magic set. Exile all permanents with that set's expansion symbol except for basic lands.

Krark's Other Thumb

If you would roll a die, instead roll two of those dice and ignore one of those results.

Toy Boat

Cumulative upkeep—Say "Toy Boat" quickly. (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on Toy Boat, then sacrifice it unless you say "Toy Boat" once for each age counter on it—without pausing between or fumbling it.)

Graveyard Busybody

All graveyards are also your graveyards.
Graveyard Busybody's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards with flavor text in your graveyards.

Path of Ancestry

Path of Ancestry enters tapped.
{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity. When that mana is spent to cast a creature spell that shares a creature type with your commander, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.)

City of Ass

City of Ass enters tapped.
{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

Smart Ass

Whenever Smart Ass attacks, choose a card name. If defending player has no cards with the chosen name in their hand, they may reveal their hand. If they don't reveal their hand, Smart Ass can't be blocked this turn.

Who // What // When // Where // Why

Clocknapper

When Clocknapper enters, choose beginning phase, first main phase, combat phase, postcombat main phase, or ending phase. Steal that phase from target player during their next turn. (That phase occurs as though it's your turn instead.)

Rings a Bell

As Rings a Bell enters, choose a word with four or more letters.
After you say the chosen word for the first time each turn, an opponent may ring or imitate a bell within five seconds. When no opponent does, draw a card.

Temple of the False God

{T}: Add {C}{C}. Activate only if you control five or more lands.

Everythingamajig

{T}: Add one mana of any color.
{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and your opponent guessed wrong, draw a card.
{8}, {T}: Everythingamajig deals 12 damage to target creature.

Shipbreaker Kraken

{6}{U}{U}: Monstrosity 4. (If this creature isn't monstrous, put four +1/+1 counters on it and it becomes monstrous.)
When Shipbreaker Kraken becomes monstrous, tap up to four target creatures. Those creatures don't untap during their controllers' untap steps for as long as you control Shipbreaker Kraken.

Tromokratis

Tromokratis has hexproof unless it's attacking or blocking.
Tromokratis can't be blocked unless all creatures defending player controls block it. (If any creature that player controls doesn't block this creature, it can't be blocked.)

Time Machine

{T}: Exile Time Machine and target nontoken creature you own. Return them to the battlefield at the beginning of your upkeep on your turn X in the next game you play with one of your opponents in this game, where X is the mana value of the exiled creature.

Mirror Mirror

Mirror Mirror enters tapped.
{7}, {T}, Sacrifice Mirror Mirror: Choose target player. At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with that player, exchange control of all permanents you and that player control, and exchange cards in your hands, cards in your libraries, and cards in your graveyards.

Master of Predicaments

Flying
Whenever Master of Predicaments deals combat damage to a player, choose a card in your hand. That player guesses whether the card's mana value is greater than 4. If the player guessed wrong, you may cast the card without paying its mana cost.

Magical Hacker

{U}: Change the text of target spell or permanent by replacing all instances of + with -, and vice versa, until end of turn.

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Deal Damage

Deal Damage deals 4 damage to any target.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "deal" or "damage," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand.

Urza's Hot Tub

{2}, Discard a card: Search your library for a card that shares a complete word in its name with the discarded card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

My First Tome

{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and they guessed wrong, you draw a card.

Topsy Turvy

The phases of each player's turn are reversed. (The phases are, in reverse order, ending, second main, combat, first main, and beginning.)
As long as there are more than two players in the game, the turn order is reversed.

Brainstorm

Draw three cards, then put two cards from your hand on top of your library in any order.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

Strategy, Schmategy

Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.
1 — Do nothing.
2 — Destroy all artifacts.
3 — Destroy all lands.
4 — Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.
5 — Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.
6 — Repeat this process two more times.

Steamflogger of the Month

When Steamflogger of the Month enters, it assembles a Contraption for each Contraption you control. (To assemble a Contraption, put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Common Courtesy

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice Common Courtesy.

Johnny, Combo Player

{4}: Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

Magic Word

Enchant creature
As Magic Word enters, choose a word.
Whisper the chosen word: Tap enchanted creature.

Yet Another Aether Vortex

All creatures have haste.
Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.

Rocket-Powered Turbo Slug

Super haste (This may attack the turn before you cast it. (You may put this card from your hand onto the battlefield tapped and attacking during your declare attackers step. If you do, you lose the game at the beginning of your next turn's end step unless you pay this card's mana cost during that turn.))

Hot Soup

Equipped creature can't be blocked.
Whenever equipped creature is dealt damage, destroy it.
Equip {3} ({3}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Transmogrify

Exile target creature. That creature's controller reveals cards from the top of their library until they reveal a creature card. That player puts that card onto the battlefield, then shuffles the rest into their library.

Number Crunch

Return target permanent to its owner's hand.
Gotcha — If an opponent says a number, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Number Crunch from your graveyard to your hand.

Throat Wolf

You may cast Throat Wolf during an opponent's combat phase.
Firstest strike (This creature deals combat damage to creatures before creatures with first strike.)
After each opponent's first combat phase of each turn, there is an additional combat phase. Only Throat Wolf can attack during that combat phase.

Mountain

Touch and Go

Destroy target land.
Gotcha — If an opponent touches their face, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Touch and Go from your graveyard to your hand.

Mouth to Mouth

Choose target opponent and target creature they control. You and that player have a breath-holding contest. If you win, you gain control of that creature.

Loose Lips

Enchant creature
As Loose Lips enters, choose a sentence with eight or fewer words.
Enchanted creature has flying.
Whenever enchanted creature deals damage to an opponent, that player may say the chosen sentence. If they don't, you draw two cards.

Curse of the Fire Penguin Creature

Trample
When this creature dies, return Curse of the Fire Penguin to the battlefield.

Curse of the Fire Penguin

Enchant creature
Curse of the Fire Penguin consumes and confuses enchanted creature.

Curse of the Fire Penguin // Curse of the Fire Penguin Creature

Izzet Guildgate

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Split Screen

When Split Screen enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When Split Screen leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Spell Suck

Counter target spell, then assemble a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Avatar of Me

This spell costs {1} more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.
Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.
Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

Togglodyte

Togglodyte enters turned on.
Whenever a player casts a spell, toggle Togglodyte's ON/OFF switch.
As long as Togglodyte is turned off, it can't attack or block, and prevent all damage it would deal.

Time Out

Roll a six-sided die. Put target nonland permanent into its owner's library just beneath the top X cards of that library, where X is the result.

Garbage Elemental

Cascade (When you cast this spell, exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card that costs less. You may cast it without paying its mana cost. Put the exiled cards on the bottom in a random order.)
When Garbage Elemental enters, roll a six-sided die. Garbage Elemental deals damage equal to the result to target opponent or planeswalker.

Clam-I-Am

If you roll a 3 on a six-sided die, you may reroll that die.

Blessed Reincarnation

Exile target creature an opponent controls. That player reveals cards from the top of their library until a creature card is revealed. The player puts that card onto the battlefield, then shuffles the rest into their library.
Rebound (If you cast this spell from your hand, exile it as it resolves. At the beginning of your next upkeep, you may cast this card from exile without paying its mana cost.)

Pygmy Giant

{R}, {T}, Sacrifice a creature: Pygmy Giant deals X damage to target creature, where X is a number in the sacrificed creature's text box.

Painiac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. Painiac gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result.

Mana Screw

{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate only as an instant.

Incite Insight

Assemble X Contraptions. (To assemble a Contraption, put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Carnivorous Death-Parrot

Flying
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Carnivorous Death-Parrot unless you say its flavor text.

Spark Fiend

When Spark Fiend enters, roll two six-sided dice. If you rolled 2, 3, or 12, sacrifice Spark Fiend. If you rolled 7 or 11, don't roll dice for Spark Fiend during any of your following upkeeps. If you rolled any other total, note that total.
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll two six-sided dice. If you rolled 7, sacrifice Spark Fiend. If you roll the noted total, don't roll dice for Spark Fiend during any of your following upkeeps. Otherwise, do nothing.

Raging River

Whenever one or more creatures you control attack, each defending player divides all creatures without flying they control into a "left" pile and a "right" pile. Then, for each attacking creature you control, choose "left" or "right." That creature can't be blocked this combat except by creatures with flying and creatures in a pile with the chosen label.

Punctuate

Punctuate deals damage to target creature equal to half the number of punctuation marks in that creature's text box. (The punctuation marks are ! ? , ; : - — ( ) / " " ' ' & .)

Five-Finger Discount

Put target nonland permanent into your hand. You may spend mana as though it were mana of any color the next time you cast that card.

Boomstacker

As Boomstacker enters and whenever it attacks, stack two dice on top of it. (All dice must be stacked vertically, one on top of another.)
Boomstacker gets +1/+1 for each die in its stack.
Boomstacker attacks each combat if able.
When the stack falls, sacrifice Boomstacker.

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.

Letter Bomb

When Letter Bomb enters, sign it and shuffle it into target player's library. That player reveals each card they draw until they draw Letter Bomb. When that player draws Letter Bomb, it deals 19½ damage to them.

Bureaucracy

Pursuant to subsection 3.1(4) of Richard's Rules of Order, at the beginning of the upkeep of each participant in this game of the Magic: The Gathering® trading card game (hereafter known as "PLAYER"), that PLAYER performs all actions in the sequence of previously added actions (hereafter known as "ACTION QUEUE"), in the order those actions were added, then adds another action to the end of the ACTION QUEUE. All actions must be simple physical or verbal actions that a player can perform while sitting in a chair, without jeopardizing the health and security of said PLAYER.
When any PLAYER does not perform all the prescribed actions in the correct order, sacrifice Bureaucracy and said PLAYER discards their complement of cards in hand (hereafter known as "HAND").

Now I Know My ABC's

At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control permanents with names that include all twenty-six letters of the English alphabet, you win the game.

Goblin Tutor

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
2 — A card named Goblin Tutor
3 — An enchantment
4 — An artifact
5 — A creature
6 — An instant or sorcery

Goblin S.W.A.T. Team

Say "Goblin S.W.A.T. Team": Put a +1/+1 counter on Goblin S.W.A.T. Team unless an opponent swats the table within five seconds. Activate only once each turn.

Wrench-Rigger

When Wrench-Rigger enters, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Steamflogger Boss

Other Riggers you control get +1/+0 and have haste.
If a Rigger you control would assemble a Contraption, it assembles two Contraptions instead.

Animate Library

Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile Animate Library instead.

Clambassadors

Whenever Clambassadors deals damage to a player, choose an artifact, creature, or land you control. That player gains control of that permanent.

Jack-in-the-Mox

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.
1 — Sacrifice Jack-in-the-Mox and you lose 5 life.
2 — Add {W}.
3 — Add {U}.
4 — Add {B}.
5 — Add {R}.
6 — Add {G}.

Red-Hot Hottie

Whenever Red-Hot Hottie deals damage to a creature, put a third-degree-burn counter on that creature. It gains "At the beginning of each end step, sacrifice this creature unless you scream 'Aaah!' at the top of your lungs."

Magical Hack

Change the text of target spell or permanent by replacing all instances of one basic land type with another. (For example, you may change "swampwalk" to "plainswalk." This effect lasts indefinitely.)

Question Elemental?

Did you know this creature has flying?
Are you aware that any time you say something that isn't a question, when a player points out this fact first, they gain control of Question Elemental?