Mr. House, President and CEO

Whenever you roll a 4 or higher, create a 3/3 colorless Robot artifact creature token. If you rolled 6 or higher, instead create that token and a Treasure token.
{4}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die plus an additional six-sided die for each mana from Treasures spent to activate this ability.

Aardwolf's Advantage

Creatures you control get +2/+0 and gain alpha strike until end of turn. (A creature with alpha strike has first strike as long as it's blocking or being blocked by a creature that comes after it alphabetically.)

Ticking Mime Bomb

When Ticking Mime Bomb enters, without speaking or indicating any specific creature, pantomime to a person outside the game, then they choose a creature you don't control. Ticking Mime Bomb deals damage equal to twice the number of Robots you control to the chosen creature.

Clown Car

When Clown Car enters, roll X six-sided dice. For each odd result, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token. For each even result, put a +1/+1 counter on Clown Car.
Crew 2

Clowning Around

Create two 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature tokens, then roll a six-sided die. If the result is equal to or less than the number of Robots you control, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Step Right Up

Open two Attractions. (Put the top two cards of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Scooch

Add or subtract 1 from target creature's power, target player's life total, or target die roll's result.
Draw a card.

Goblin Girder Gang

Reach
Whenever you roll a die, if the result isn't stored on Goblin Girder Gang, you may store that result on it. When you do, Goblin Girder Gang deals 1 damage to any target without a hat.
Goblin Girder Gang gets +1/+0 for each result stored on it.

Mahadi, Emporium Master

At the beginning of your end step, create a Treasure token for each creature that died this turn. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Nobilis of War

Flying
Attacking creatures you control get +2/+0.

Temple of Malice

Temple of Malice enters tapped.
When Temple of Malice enters, scry 1.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Impact Tremors

Whenever a creature you control enters, Impact Tremors deals 1 damage to each opponent.

Artificer's Dragon

Flying
{R}: Artifact creatures you control get +1/+0 until end of turn.
Unearth {3}{R}{R} ({3}{R}{R}: Return this card from your graveyard to the battlefield. It gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step or if it would leave the battlefield. Unearth only as a sorcery.)

Jan Jansen, Chaos Crafter

Haste
{T}, Sacrifice an artifact creature: Create two Treasure tokens.
{T}, Sacrifice a noncreature artifact: Create two 1/1 colorless Construct artifact creature tokens.

Aron, Benalia's Ruin

Menace (This creature can't be blocked except by two or more creatures.)
{W}{B}, {T}, Sacrifice another creature: Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control.

Elas il-Kor, Sadistic Pilgrim

Deathtouch
Whenever another creature you control enters, you gain 1 life.
Whenever another creature you control dies, each opponent loses 1 life.

Heroic Charge

Kicker {1}{R} (You may pay an additional {1}{R} as you cast this spell.)
Creatures you control get +2/+1 until end of turn. If this spell was kicked, those creatures also gain trample until end of turn.

Family Reunion

Choose one —
• Creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.
• Creatures you control gain hexproof until end of turn. (They can't be the targets of spells or abilities your opponents control.)

Sacred Peaks

({T}: Add {R} or {W}.)
Sacred Peaks enters tapped.

Ellyn Harbreeze, Busybody

{T}: Look at the top X cards of your library, where X is the number of tokens you created this turn. Put one of those cards into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.
Choose a Background (You can have a Background as a second commander.)

Sivriss, Nightmare Speaker

{T}, Sacrifice another creature or an artifact: For each opponent, you mill a card, then return that card from your graveyard to your hand unless that player pays 3 life. (To mill a card, put the top card of your library into your graveyard.)
Choose a Background (You can have a Background as a second commander.)

Garna, Bloodfist of Keld

Whenever another creature you control dies, draw a card if it was attacking. Otherwise, Garna, Bloodfist of Keld deals 1 damage to each opponent.

Shivan Branch-Burner

Convoke (Your creatures can help cast this spell. Each creature you tap while casting this spell pays for {1} or one mana of that creature's color.)
Flying, haste

Street Urchin

Commander creatures you own have "{1}, Sacrifice another creature or an artifact: This creature deals 1 damage to any target."

Minthara, Merciless Soul

Ward {X}, where X is the number of experience counters you have.
At the beginning of your end step, if a permanent you controlled left the battlefield this turn, you get an experience counter.
Creatures you control get +1/+0 for each experience counter you have.

Exotic Orchard

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

Dark Tutelage

At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal the top card of your library and put that card into your hand. You lose life equal to its mana value.

Lagomos, Hand of Hatred

At the beginning of combat on your turn, create a 2/1 red Elemental creature token with trample and haste. Sacrifice it at the beginning of the next end step.
{T}: Search your library for a card, put it into your hand, then shuffle. Activate only if five or more creatures died this turn.

Wyll, Blade of Frontiers

If you would roll one or more dice, instead roll that many dice plus one and ignore the lowest roll.
Whenever you roll one or more dice, put a +1/+1 counter on Wyll, Blade of Frontiers.
Choose a Background (You can have a Background as a second commander.)

Enterprising Scallywag

At the beginning of your end step, if you descended this turn, create a Treasure token. (You descended if a permanent card was put into your graveyard from anywhere.)

Regal Leosaur

Mutate {1}{R/W}{R/W} (If you cast this spell for its mutate cost, put it over or under target non-Human creature you own. They mutate into the creature on top plus all abilities from under it.)
Whenever this creature mutates, other creatures you control get +2/+1 until end of turn.

Muster the Departed

When Muster the Departed enters, create a 1/1 white Spirit creature token with flying.
Morbid — At the beginning of your end step, if a creature died this turn, populate. (Create a token that's a copy of a creature token you control.)

Take Up the Shield

Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature. It gains lifelink and indestructible until end of turn. (Damage and effects that say "destroy" don't destroy it.)

Boomer Scrapper

Whenever Boomer Scrapper enters or attacks, you lose 1 life and create a Junk token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn. Activate only as a sorcery.")
Whenever a token you control leaves the battlefield, put a +1/+1 counter on Boomer Scrapper.

Ruinous Ultimatum

Destroy all nonland permanents your opponents control.

Bastion of Remembrance

When Bastion of Remembrance enters, create a 1/1 white Human Soldier creature token.
Whenever a creature you control dies, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.

"Lifetime" Pass Holder

"Lifetime" Pass Holder enters tapped.
When "Lifetime" Pass Holder dies, open an Attraction.
Whenever you roll to visit your Attractions, if you roll a 6, you may return "Lifetime" Pass Holder from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Captain Rex Nebula

At the beginning of combat on your turn, choose target nonland permanent you control. Until end of turn, it becomes a Vehicle artifact with base power and toughness each equal to its mana value, and it gains crew 2 and "Crash Land — Whenever this Vehicle deals damage, roll a six-sided die. If the result is equal to this Vehicle's mana value, sacrifice this Vehicle, then it deals that much damage to any target."

Surprise Party

When Surprise Party enters, yell "Surprise!" and put onto the battlefield any number of printed Clown Robot tokens that aren't touching each other, that you hid on the battlefield before you cast Surprise Party, and that weren't spotted by an opponent before you cast Surprise Party.
Robots you control get +1/+0 and have vigilance.

Starlight Spectacular

Parade! — At the beginning of combat on your turn, choose creatures you control one at a time until each creature you control has been chosen. Each of those creatures gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each creature chosen before it. (Places everyone! The first creature in line gets +0/+0.)

Monoxa, Midway Manager

Whenever you roll a 3 or higher, Monoxa, Midway Manager gains first strike until end of turn. If the roll was 4 or higher, it gains menace until end of turn. If the roll was 5 or higher, it gains lifelink until end of turn.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Deadbeat Attendant

When Deadbeat Attendant enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Dissatisfied Customer

Flying, haste
When Dissatisfied Customer enters, roll a six-sided die. If the result is 3 or less, you lose that much life.

Quick Fixer

Menace
Whenever Quick Fixer deals combat damage to a player, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Goblin Blastronauts

When Goblin Blastronauts enters, open an Attraction.
Whenever you roll a 6, you may copy the spell, ability, or Attraction visit that caused you to roll that die. You may choose new targets for the copy.

Trigger Happy

Choose a triggered ability of target permanent. It triggers. You control that ability.

Complaints Clerk

When Complaints Clerk enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
Whenever you roll a 1, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Pie-roclasm

Pie-roclasm deals π damage to each non-Clown creature. (How to calculate π isn't important. It's a smidgen more than 3.)

Omniclown Colossus

Affinity for Clowns (This spell costs {1} less to cast for each Clown you control.)
Trample

Omniclown Colossus // Pie-roclasm

Circuits Act

Roll three six-sided dice. For each different result, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Souvenir T-Shirt

Gear Up, sponsored by Wizards of the Coast — As Souvenir T-Shirt enters, roll two six-sided dice. For each Magic-branded item you're wearing, roll an additional six-sided die. Choose two of those results.
Equipped creature gets +X/+Y, where X is the first chosen result and Y is the second.
Equip {4}

Six-Sided Die

Choose target creature. Roll a six-sided die.
1 — It has base toughness 1 until end of turn.
2 — Put two -1/-1 counters on it.
3 — Six-Sided Die deals 3 damage to it and you gain 3 life.
4 — It gets -4/-4 until end of turn.
5 — Destroy it.
6 — Exile it.

Swamp

Mountain

Plains

Strength-Testing Hammer

Whenever equipped creature attacks, roll a six-sided die. That creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result. Then if it has the greatest power or is tied for greatest power among creatures on the battlefield, draw a card.
Equip {3}

Celebr-8000

At the beginning of combat on your turn, roll two six-sided dice. For each result of 1, Celebr-8000 gets +1/+1 until end of turn. For each other result, it gains the indicated ability until end of turn. If you rolled doubles, it also gains double strike until end of turn.
• 2 — menace
• 3 — vigilance
• 4 — lifelink
• 5 — flying
• 6 — indestructible

Soul Swindler

As long as you've visited an Attraction this turn, Soul Swindler has indestructible. (Damage and effects that say "destroy" don't destroy it.)
When Soul Swindler enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Rad Rascal

When Rad Rascal enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Discourtesy Clerk

When Discourtesy Clerk enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
At the beginning of your end step, if you control three or more Attractions, you draw a card and you lose 1 life.

Attempted Murder

Choose target creature. Roll X six-sided dice. For each even result, put two -1/-1 counters on that creature. For each odd result, create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.

Now You See Me . . .

Exile target creature you control, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with X +1/+1 counters on it, where X is the number of mirrors on walls you can see from your seat.

Line Cutter

When Line Cutter enters, roll to visit your Attractions.

Slight Malfunction

Choose one —
• Destroy target artifact.
• Roll a six-sided die. When you do, Slight Malfunction deals 1 damage to each of up to X target creatures, where X is the result.

Non-Human Cannonball

When Non-Human Cannonball dies, roll a six-sided die. If the result is 4 or less, Non-Human Cannonball deals that much damage to you.

Impounding Lot-Bot

When Impounding Lot-Bot enters, you may say "INCARCERATE!" in a robot voice. If you do, exile another target artifact or enchantment until Impounding Lot-Bot leaves the battlefield.

Night Shift of the Living Dead

After you roll a die, you may pay 1 life. If you do, increase or decrease the result by 1. Do this only once each turn.
Whenever you roll a 6, create a 2/2 black Zombie Employee creature token.

Black Hole

Destroy target creature and up to X other target creatures, where X is the number of Attractions you've visited this turn.

Pietra, Crafter of Clowns

Haste
Robots you control get +1/+1.
{R}{W}, {T}, Tell a joke you haven't told this game to someone outside the game: Create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token. If that person laughed, the token gains haste until end of turn.

Xenosquirrels

Xenosquirrels enters with two +1/+1 counters on it.
After you roll a die, you may remove a +1/+1 counter from Xenosquirrels. If you do, increase or decrease the result by 1.

Animate Graveyard

Enchant your graveyard
Enchanted graveyard is a creature on the battlefield with base power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It has the text boxes of all creature cards in it. It's still a graveyard.
If enchanted graveyard would leave the battlefield, instead exile Animate Graveyard.

Ride Guide

When Ride Guide enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Draconian Gate-Bot

When Draconian Gate-Bot enters, choose one —
• Open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
• Destroy target Attraction. (It's put into its owner's junkyard.)

Nearby Planet

Rangeling (This card is every land type, including Plains, Island, Swamp, Mountain, Forest, Desert, Gate, Lair, Locus, and all those Urza's ones.)
Nearby Planet enters tapped.
When Nearby Planet enters, sacrifice it unless you pay {1}.

The Big Top

{T}: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)

Public Thoroughfare

Public Thoroughfare enters tapped.
When Public Thoroughfare enters, sacrifice it unless you tap an untapped artifact or land you control.
{T}: Add one mana of any color.