Critical Deck Meme

Exsanguinate

Each opponent loses X life. You gain life equal to the life lost this way.

Getting

Tower of the Magistrate

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}: Target creature gains protection from artifacts until end of turn.

Damage Multiplication

Cemetery Reaper

Other Zombie creatures you control get +1/+1.
{2}{B}, {T}: Exile target creature card from a graveyard. Create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token.

Gauntlet of Power

As Gauntlet of Power enters, choose a color.
Creatures of the chosen color get +1/+1.
Whenever a basic land is tapped for mana of the chosen color, its controller adds an additional one mana of that color.

Ghoulish Impetus

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1, has deathtouch, and is goaded.
When enchanted creature dies, return Ghoulish Impetus to the battlefield at the beginning of the next end step.

Mouth of Ronom

{T}: Add {C}.
{4}{S}, {T}, Sacrifice Mouth of Ronom: It deals 4 damage to target creature. ({S} can be paid with one mana from a snow source.)

Champion of the Perished

Whenever another Zombie you control enters, put a +1/+1 counter on Champion of the Perished.

Demonic Tutor

Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

Gempalm Polluter

Cycling {B}{B} ({B}{B}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)
When you cycle Gempalm Polluter, you may have target player lose life equal to the number of Zombies on the battlefield.

The Meathook Massacre

When The Meathook Massacre enters, each creature gets -X/-X until end of turn.
Whenever a creature you control dies, each opponent loses 1 life.
Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, you gain 1 life.

Have

Blasting Station

{T}, Sacrifice a creature: Blasting Station deals 1 damage to any target.
Whenever a creature enters, you may untap Blasting Station.

Vein Ripper

Flying
Ward—Sacrifice a creature.
Whenever a creature dies, target opponent loses 2 life and you gain 2 life.

Cabal Coffers

{2}, {T}: Add {B} for each Swamp you control.

Zombie Master

Other Zombie creatures have swampwalk. (They can't be blocked as long as defending player controls a Swamp.)
Other Zombies have "{B}: Regenerate this permanent."

Lively Dirge

Spree (Choose one or more additional costs.)
+ {1} — Search your library for a card, put it into your graveyard, then shuffle.
+ {2} — Return up to two creature cards with total mana value 4 or less from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Embalmer's Tools

Activated abilities of creature cards in your graveyard cost {1} less to activate.
Tap an untapped Zombie you control: Target player mills a card.

Wayfarer's Bauble

{2}, {T}, Sacrifice Wayfarer's Bauble: Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Grave Betrayal

Whenever a creature you don't control dies, return it to the battlefield under your control with an additional +1/+1 counter on it at the beginning of the next end step. That creature is a black Zombie in addition to its other colors and types.

Death Tyrant

Menace
Negative Energy Cone — Whenever an attacking creature you control or a blocking creature an opponent controls dies, create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token.
{5}{B}: Return Death Tyrant from your graveyard to the battlefield tapped.

Extraplanar Lens

Imprint — When Extraplanar Lens enters, you may exile target land you control.
Whenever a land with the same name as the exiled card is tapped for mana, its controller adds one mana of any type that land produced.

Crowded Crypt

{T}: Add {B}.
Whenever a creature you control dies, put a corpse counter on Crowded Crypt.
{4}{B}{B}, {T}, Sacrifice Crowded Crypt: Create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token with decayed for each corpse counter on Crowded Crypt. (A creature with decayed can't block. When it attacks, sacrifice it at end of combat.)

Grim Servant

Menace
When Grim Servant enters, search your library for a card with mana value less than or equal to your devotion to black, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle. You lose 3 life. (Each {B} in the mana costs of permanents you control counts toward your devotion to black.)

Sheoldred, the Apocalypse

Deathtouch
Whenever you draw a card, you gain 2 life.
Whenever an opponent draws a card, they lose 2 life.

Rise of the Dark Realms

Put all creature cards from all graveyards onto the battlefield under your control.

Feed the Swarm

Destroy target creature or enchantment an opponent controls. You lose life equal to that permanent's mana value.

Codex Shredder

{T}: Target player mills a card. (They put the top card of their library into their graveyard.)
{5}, {T}, Sacrifice Codex Shredder: Return target card from your graveyard to your hand.

Withered Wretch

Unlicensed Hearse

{T}: Exile up to two target cards from a single graveyard.
Unlicensed Hearse's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards exiled with it.
Crew 2

Yawgmoth, Thran Physician

Protection from Humans
Pay 1 life, Sacrifice another creature: Put a -1/-1 counter on up to one target creature and draw a card.
{B}{B}, Discard a card: Proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)

Forsaken Miner

Forsaken Miner can't block.
Whenever you commit a crime, you may pay {B}. If you do, return Forsaken Miner from your graveyard to the battlefield. (Targeting opponents, anything they control, and/or cards in their graveyards is a crime.)

Laser Screwdriver

{T}: Add one mana of any color.
{1}, {T}: Tap target artifact.
{2}, {T}: Surveil 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card into your graveyard.)
{3}, {T}: Goad target creature. (Until your next turn, it attacks each combat if able and attacks a player other than you if able.)

Coldsteel Heart

Coldsteel Heart enters tapped.
As Coldsteel Heart enters, choose a color.
{T}: Add one mana of the chosen color.

Insatiable Avarice

Spree (Choose one or more additional costs.)
+ {2} — Search your library for a card, then shuffle and put that card on top.
+ {B}{B} — Target player draws three cards and loses 3 life.

Liliana, Dreadhorde General

Whenever a creature you control dies, draw a card.
+1: Create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token.
−4: Each player sacrifices two creatures of their choice.
−9: Each opponent chooses a permanent they control of each permanent type and sacrifices the rest.

Rotten Reunion

Exile up to one target card from a graveyard. Create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token with decayed. (It can't block. When it attacks, sacrifice it at end of combat.)
Flashback {1}{B} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Persistent Constrictor

At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, they lose 1 life and you put a -1/-1 counter on up to one target creature they control.
Persist (When this creature dies, if it had no -1/-1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a -1/-1 counter on it.)

Rush of Dread

Spree (Choose one or more additional costs.)
+ {1} — Target opponent sacrifices half the creatures they control of their choice, rounded up.
+ {2} — Target opponent discards half the cards in their hand, rounded up.
+ {2} — Target opponent loses half their life, rounded up.

The True Scriptures

(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter.)
I — For each opponent, destroy up to one target creature or planeswalker that player controls.
II — Each opponent discards three cards, then mills three cards.
III — Put all creature cards from all graveyards onto the battlefield under your control. Exile The True Scriptures, then return it to the battlefield (front face up).

Sheoldred

Menace
When Sheoldred enters, each opponent sacrifices a nontoken creature or planeswalker of their choice.
{4}{B}: Exile Sheoldred, then return it to the battlefield transformed under its owner's control. Activate only as a sorcery and only if an opponent has eight or more cards in their graveyard.

Sheoldred // The True Scriptures

Liquimetal Torque

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Target nonland permanent becomes an artifact in addition to its other types until end of turn.

Liliana of the Dark Realms

+1: Search your library for a Swamp card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
−3: Target creature gets +X/+X or -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of Swamps you control.
−6: You get an emblem with "Swamps you control have '{T}: Add {B}{B}{B}{B}.'"

Hex Parasite

{X}{B/P}: Remove up to X counters from target permanent. For each counter removed this way, Hex Parasite gets +1/+0 until end of turn. ({B/P} can be paid with either {B} or 2 life.)

Army of the Damned

Create thirteen tapped 2/2 black Zombie creature tokens.
Flashback {7}{B}{B}{B} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Ghoulcaller Gisa

{B}, {T}, Sacrifice another creature: Create X 2/2 black Zombie creature tokens, where X is the sacrificed creature's power.

Demolition Field

{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this land: Destroy target nonbasic land an opponent controls. That land's controller may search their library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. You may search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

War Room

{T}: Add {C}.
{3}, {T}, Pay life equal to the number of colors in your commanders' color identity: Draw a card.

Altar of Dementia

Sacrifice a creature: Target player mills cards equal to the sacrificed creature's power.

Torment of Hailfire

Repeat the following process X times. Each opponent loses 3 life unless that player sacrifices a nonland permanent of their choice or discards a card.

Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth

Each land is a Swamp in addition to its other land types.

Expedition Map

{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Search your library for a land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Death Baron

Skeletons you control and other Zombies you control get +1/+1 and have deathtouch. (Any amount of damage they deal to a creature is enough to destroy it.)

Dungeon Descent

Dungeon Descent enters tapped.
{T}: Add {C}.
{4}, {T}, Tap an untapped legendary creature you control: Venture into the dungeon. Activate only as a sorcery. (Enter the first room or advance to the next room.)

Skullclamp

Equipped creature gets +1/-1.
Whenever equipped creature dies, draw two cards.
Equip {1}

Withering Torment

Destroy target creature or enchantment. You lose 2 life.

Grave Titan

Deathtouch
Whenever Grave Titan enters or attacks, create two 2/2 black Zombie creature tokens.

Gravecrawler

Gravecrawler can't block.
You may cast Gravecrawler from your graveyard as long as you control a Zombie.

Vengeful Dead

Whenever Vengeful Dead or another Zombie dies, each opponent loses 1 life.

Urborg

{T}: Add {B}.
{T}: Target creature loses first strike or swampwalk until end of turn.

Mikaeus, the Unhallowed

Intimidate (This creature can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or creatures that share a color with it.)
Whenever a Human deals damage to you, destroy it.
Other non-Human creatures you control get +1/+1 and have undying. (When a creature with undying dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)

Gray Merchant of Asphodel

When Gray Merchant of Asphodel enters, each opponent loses X life, where X is your devotion to black. You gain life equal to the life lost this way. (Each {B} in the mana costs of permanents you control counts toward your devotion to black.)

Heraldic Banner

As this artifact enters, choose a color.
Creatures you control of the chosen color get +1/+0.
{T}: Add one mana of the chosen color.

Realmbreaker, the Invasion Tree

{2}, {T}: Target opponent mills three cards. Put a land card from their graveyard onto the battlefield tapped under your control. It gains "If this land would leave the battlefield, exile it instead of putting it anywhere else."
{10}, {T}, Sacrifice Realmbreaker, the Invasion Tree: Search your library for any number of Praetor cards, put them onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Orcish Bowmasters

Flash
When Orcish Bowmasters enters and whenever an opponent draws a card except the first one they draw in each of their draw steps, Orcish Bowmasters deals 1 damage to any target. Then amass Orcs 1.

Everflowing Chalice

Multikicker {2} (You may pay an additional {2} any number of times as you cast this spell.)
Everflowing Chalice enters with a charge counter on it for each time it was kicked.
{T}: Add {C} for each charge counter on Everflowing Chalice.

Undead Augur

Whenever Undead Augur or another Zombie you control dies, you draw a card and you lose 1 life.

Patchwork Banner

As Patchwork Banner enters, choose a creature type.
Creatures you control of the chosen type get +1/+1.
{T}: Add one mana of any color.

Sol Ring

Scrying Sheets

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}{S}, {T}: Look at the top card of your library. If that card is snow, you may reveal it and put it into your hand. ({S} can be paid with one mana from a snow source.)

Gravespawn Sovereign

Tap five untapped Zombies you control: Put target creature card from a graveyard onto the battlefield under your control.

Final Parting

Search your library for two cards. Put one into your hand and the other into your graveyard. Then shuffle.

Headless Rider

Whenever Headless Rider or another nontoken Zombie you control dies, create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token.

Sarevok's Tome

When Sarevok's Tome enters, you take the initiative.
{T}: Add {C}. If you have the initiative, add {C}{C} instead.
{3}, {T}: Exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card. You may cast that card without paying its mana cost. Activate only if you've completed a dungeon.

Gix, Yawgmoth Praetor

Whenever a creature deals combat damage to one of your opponents, its controller may pay 1 life. If they do, they draw a card.
{4}{B}{B}{B}, Discard X cards: Exile the top X cards of target opponent's library. You may play lands and cast spells from among cards exiled this way without paying their mana costs.

Beseech the Mirror

Bargain (You may sacrifice an artifact, enchantment, or token as you cast this spell.)
Search your library for a card, exile it face down, then shuffle. If this spell was bargained, you may cast the exiled card without paying its mana cost if that spell's mana value is 4 or less. Put the exiled card into your hand if it wasn't cast this way.

Throne of Eldraine

As Throne of Eldraine enters, choose a color.
{T}: Add four mana of the chosen color. Spend this mana only to cast monocolored spells of that color.
{3}, {T}: Draw two cards. Spend only mana of the chosen color to activate this ability.

Zombie Trailblazer

Tap an untapped Zombie you control: Target land becomes a Swamp until end of turn.
Tap an untapped Zombie you control: Target creature gains swampwalk until end of turn. (It can't be blocked as long as defending player controls a Swamp.)

Priest of Forgotten Gods

{T}, Sacrifice two other creatures: Any number of target players each lose 2 life and sacrifice a creature of their choice. You add {B}{B} and draw a card.

Akroma's Memorial

Creatures you control have flying, first strike, vigilance, trample, haste, and protection from black and from red.

Eldrazi Monument

Creatures you control get +1/+1 and have flying and indestructible.
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice a creature. If you can't, sacrifice Eldrazi Monument.

Kaervek, the Punisher

Whenever you commit a crime, exile up to one target black card from your graveyard and copy it. You may cast the copy. If you do, you lose 2 life. (Targeting opponents, anything they control, and/or cards in their graveyards is a crime. Copies of permanent spells become tokens.)

Nim Deathmantle

Equipped creature gets +2/+2, has intimidate, and is a black Zombie. (A creature with intimidate can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or creatures that share a color with it.)
Whenever a nontoken creature is put into your graveyard from the battlefield, you may pay {4}. If you do, return that card to the battlefield and attach Nim Deathmantle to it.
Equip {4}

From the Catacombs

Put target creature card from a graveyard onto the battlefield under your control with a corpse counter on it. You take the initiative. If that creature would leave the battlefield, exile it instead of putting it anywhere else.
Escape—{3}{B}{B}, Exile five other cards from your graveyard. (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its escape cost.)

Snow-Covered Swamp

Dictate of Erebos

Flash
Whenever a creature you control dies, each opponent sacrifices a creature of their choice.

Emperor of Bones

At the beginning of combat on your turn, exile up to one target card from a graveyard.
{1}{B}: Adapt 2.
Whenever one or more +1/+1 counters are put on Emperor of Bones, put a creature card exiled with Emperor of Bones onto the battlefield under your control with a finality counter on it. It gains haste. Sacrifice it at the beginning of the next end step.

Dread Presence

Whenever a Swamp you control enters, choose one —
• You draw a card and you lose 1 life.
• Dread Presence deals 2 damage to any target and you gain 2 life.

Boggart Bog

As Boggart Bog enters, you may pay 3 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B}.

Boggart Trawler

When Boggart Trawler enters, exile target player's graveyard.

Boggart Trawler // Boggart Bog

Snuff Out

If you control a Swamp, you may pay 4 life rather than pay this spell's mana cost.
Destroy target nonblack creature. It can't be regenerated.

Charcoal Diamond

Charcoal Diamond enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B}.

Whip of Erebos

Creatures you control have lifelink.
{2}{B}{B}, {T}: Return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield. It gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step. If it would leave the battlefield, exile it instead of putting it anywhere else. Activate only as a sorcery.

Bojuka Bog

Bojuka Bog enters tapped.
When Bojuka Bog enters, exile target player's graveyard.
{T}: Add {B}.

Ayara, First of Locthwain

Whenever Ayara, First of Locthwain or another black creature you control enters, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.
{T}, Sacrifice another black creature: Draw a card.

Mind's Eye

Whenever an opponent draws a card, you may pay {1}. If you do, draw a card.

Dead of Winter

All nonsnow creatures get -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of snow permanents you control.

Nowhere to Run

Flash
When Nowhere to Run enters, target creature an opponent controls gets -3/-3 until end of turn.
Creatures your opponents control can be the targets of spells and abilities as though they didn't have hexproof. Ward abilities of those creatures don't trigger.

Dark Salvation

Target player creates X 2/2 black Zombie creature tokens, then up to one target creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn for each Zombie that player controls.

Cabal Stronghold

{T}: Add {C}.
{3}, {T}: Add {B} for each basic Swamp you control.

Deadly Rollick

If you control a commander, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost.
Exile target creature.