Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Cogmentor

Flying
{4}: Reassemble target Contraption you control. (Move it onto another one of your sprockets.)

Labro Bot

When this creature enters, return target host card or card with augment from your graveyard to your hand.

Over My Dead Bodies

Creature cards in graveyards can attack and block as though they were on the battlefield, can block or be blocked only by creature cards in graveyards, are Zombies in addition to their other types, and have undeathtouch. (If they would deal damage to a creature card, exile that creature card instead.)
Creature cards in your graveyard have haste.

Spell Suck

Counter target spell, then assemble a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Incite Insight

Assemble X Contraptions. (To assemble a Contraption, put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Optical Optimizer

Whenever you crank Optical Optimizer, until end of turn, target creature becomes an artifact in addition to its other types and gains "{T}: Draw a card."

Richard Garfield, Ph.D.

You may play cards as though they were other cards of your choice with the same mana cost. You can't choose the same card twice. (Mana cost includes color.)

Staff of the Letter Magus

As Staff of the Letter Magus enters, choose a consonant other than N, R, S, or T.
Whenever a player casts a spell, you gain 1 life for each time the chosen letter appears in that spell's name.

Dispatch Dispensary

Whenever you crank Dispatch Dispensary, create a 2/2 black Rogue creature token with menace.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

Clocknapper

When Clocknapper enters, choose beginning phase, first main phase, combat phase, postcombat main phase, or ending phase. Steal that phase from target player during their next turn. (That phase occurs as though it's your turn instead.)

Record Store

Whenever you crank Record Store, look at the top X cards of your library, where X is the number of artifacts you control. Put one of those cards into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.

Handcuffs

As Handcuffs enters, choose a player.
When the chosen player's hands aren't touching each other, sacrifice Handcuffs and that player sacrifices three permanents.

Temple of Deceit

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.)
{T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Phoebe, Head of S.N.E.A.K.

Phoebe, Head of S.N.E.A.K. can't be blocked by creatures with flavor text.
{2}{U}{B}: Phoebe permanently steals target creature's text box. (That creature loses all rules text, flavor text, and watermarks. This creature gains them.)

Gift Horse

Whenever you crank Gift Horse, roll two six-sided dice. Create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the difference between those results.

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Common Courtesy

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice Common Courtesy.

Split Screen

When Split Screen enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When Split Screen leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Rapid Prototyper

Whenever you crank Rapid Prototyper, create an X/X colorless Construct artifact creature token, where X is the number of artifacts you control.

Drowned Catacomb

Drowned Catacomb enters tapped unless you control an Island or a Swamp.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Blurry Beeble

Blurry (This creature can be blocked only if defending player was wearing glasses as it was cast.)
Whenever Blurry Beeble deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card.

Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike, trample
Once each turn, while you're searching your library, you may pay {1}{B}, reveal Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil from your library and say "I'm coming, too!" If you do, Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 2 damage to a player of your choice.

Sundering Fork

Whenever you crank Sundering Fork, destroy target artifact.

Eye to Eye

You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature.

Blacker Lotus

{T}: Tear Blacker Lotus into pieces. Add four mana of any one color. Remove the pieces from the game.

Boomflinger

Whenever you crank Boomflinger, roll two six-sided dice. Boomflinger deals damage to target player or planeswalker equal to the difference between those results.

Everythingamajig

{1}, {T}: Scry 2.
{1}, {T}, Pay 1 life: Create a 0/1 white Goat creature token.
{7}, {T}, Sacrifice Everythingamajig: Choose target player. At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with that player, exchange control of all permanents you and that player control, and exchange cards in your hands, cards in your libraries, and cards in your graveyards.

B.O.B. (Bevy of Beebles)

As B.O.B. enters, create four 1/1 blue Beeble creature tokens.
The number of loyalty counters on B.O.B. is equal to the number of Beebles you control. (Create or sacrifice Beebles whenever B.O.B. gains or loses loyalty.)
+1: Up to X target Beebles can't be blocked this turn, where X is the number of cards in your hand.
−1: Draw a card.

Overt Operative

Menace
Whenever Overt Operative deals combat damage to a player, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Angelic Rocket

Flying
When this creature enters, you may destroy target nonland permanent.

Kill! Destroy!

Destroy target nonblack creature.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand.

Border Guardian

Whenever you cast a silver-bordered spell, put a +1/+1 counter on Border Guardian.
Whenever you cast a black-bordered spell, Border Guardian can't be blocked this turn.
Whenever you cast a white-bordered spell, Border Guardian gains double strike until end of turn.

Mox Lotus

{T}: Add {∞}.
{100}: Add one mana of any color.

Clay Pigeon

Flying
{1}, Throw Clay Pigeon into the air at least two feet above your head while seated: If you catch Clay Pigeon with one hand, prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to you this turn and tap Clay Pigeon. Otherwise, sacrifice it.

Deadly Poison Sampler

Whenever you crank Deadly Poison Sampler, until end of turn, target creature gains "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, destroy target creature that player controls."

Kindslaver

{5}, {T}, Sacrifice Kindslaver: A person outside the game controls target player during that player's next turn. Neither player may advise that person until the end of that turn.

Subcontract

A person outside the game looks at target opponent's hand and chooses a nonland card from it. That player discards that card.

Spell Counter

Counter target spell.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "spell" or "counter," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Spell Counter from your graveyard to your hand.

Dual Doomsuits

Whenever you crank Dual Doomsuits, each time a source you control would deal damage this turn, it deals double that damage instead.

Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Artful Looter

{T}: Draw a card, then discard a card.
Whenever a permanent that shares an artist with another permanent you control enters, untap Artful Looter.

Evolving Wilds

{T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Chipper Chopper

Flying
When Chipper Chopper enters, you may sacrifice another artifact. If you do, put two +1/+1 counters on Chipper Chopper and it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Goblin Slingshot

Whenever you crank Goblin Slingshot, creatures you control get +2/+0 and gain trample until end of turn.

Sword of Dungeons & Dragons

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.
Equip {2}

Hoisted Hireling

Hoisted Hireling has flying as long as it's being held above the battlefield.

Handy Dandy Clone Machine

{2}, {T}: Create a 2/2 colorless Homunculus creature token. It must be represented by a unique hand and two fingers at all times, or it ceases to exist.

Steady-Handed Mook

Deathtouch
When Steady-Handed Mook enters, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Crow Storm

Create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.
Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn.)

Graveyard Busybody

All graveyards are also your graveyards.
Graveyard Busybody's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards with flavor text in your graveyards.

Hangman

As Hangman enters, secretly note a word with six to eight letters.
{1}: Target player who doesn't control Hangman guesses the noted word or an unguessed letter in that word. If they guess wrong, put a +1/+1 counter on Hangman. Any player may activate this ability.
When a player guesses the noted word or all of its letters, sacrifice Hangman.

Farewell to Arms

As Farewell to Arms enters, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm.
When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice Farewell to Arms. If you do, that player discards their hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.)

Faerie Aerie

Whenever you crank Faerie Aerie, create two 1/1 blue Faerie Spy creature tokens with flying, haste, and "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, draw a card." Exile them at the beginning of the next end step.

Sly Spy

Whenever Sly Spy deals combat damage to a player, roll a six-sided die. That player loses life equal to the result.

Animate Library

Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile Animate Library instead.

capital offense

target creature gets -x/-x until end of turn, where x is the number of times a capital letter appears in its rules text. (ignore reminder text and flavor text.)

Avatar of Me

This spell costs {1} more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.
Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.
Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

R&D's Secret Lair

Play cards as written. Ignore all errata.
{T}: Add {C}. (This mana is still added to your mana pool.)

Spy Eye

Flying
Whenever Spy Eye deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card from that player's library.

River of Tears

{T}: Add {U}. If you played a land this turn, add {B} instead.

Crafty Octopus

When this creature enters, this creature assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Masterful Ninja

Haste
Reveal Masterful Ninja from your hand: Masterful Ninja is on the battlefield and in your hand until end of turn.
{1}{B}: Masterful Ninja gets +1/+1 until end of turn.

Swamp

Five-Finger Discount

Put target nonland permanent into your hand. You may spend mana as though it were mana of any color the next time you cast that card.

Ash Barrens

{T}: Add {C}.
Basic landcycling {1} ({1}, Discard this card: Search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.)

Jamming Device

Whenever you crank Jamming Device, creatures target player controls get -1/-1 until end of turn.

Island

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.

Widget Contraption

Whenever you crank Widget Contraption, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Mad Science Fair Project

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or lower, target player adds {C}. Otherwise, that player adds one mana of any color they choose.

Half-Shark, Half-

At the beginning of your upkeep,
Augment {5}{U} ({5}{U}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

City of Ass

City of Ass enters tapped.
{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

Clock of DOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

{4}, {T}: Move the CRANK! counter to your Contraption deck's next sprocket and crank any number of that sprocket's Contraptions.

Flaccify

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {3}{½}.

Gleemax

You choose all targets for all spells and abilities.

Dictation Quillograph

Whenever you crank Dictation Quillograph, until end of turn, target creature gains "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card."

Sunken Hollow

({T}: Add {U} or {B}.)
Sunken Hollow enters tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Magic Word

Enchant creature
As Magic Word enters, choose a word.
Whisper the chosen word: Tap enchanted creature.

As long as X is in X's owner's opponent's hand, X's owner may cast X and activate X's abilities. That opponent can't cast X and plays with their hand revealed.
{U}{B}, {T}: Put X into target opponent's hand.
{3}{U}{B}: You may play a land or cast a spell from the hand X is in. If you cast a spell this way, you cast it without paying its mana cost.

My First Tome

{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and they guessed wrong, you draw a card.

Fetid Pools

({T}: Add {U} or {B}.)
Fetid Pools enters tapped.
Cycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Johnny, Combo Player

{4}: Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

Number Crunch

Return target permanent to its owner's hand.
Gotcha — If an opponent says a number, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Number Crunch from your graveyard to your hand.

Inhumaniac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or 4, put a +1/+1 counter on Inhumaniac. On a 5 or higher, put two +1/+1 counters on it. On a 1, remove all +1/+1 counters from Inhumaniac.

Fowl Play

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a Bird creature with base power and toughness 1/1.

Gnomeball Machine

Whenever you crank Gnomeball Machine, create two 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature tokens.

Censorship

As Censorship enters, choose a word.
Whenever a player says the chosen word, Censorship deals 2 damage to that player.

Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle

As Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle enters, you and an opponent each secretly choose Whack or Doodle. Then those choices are revealed. If the choices match, Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle has that ability. Otherwise, it has Buzz.
• Whack — {T}: Target player loses 2 life.
• Doodle — {T}: You gain 3 life.
• Buzz — {2}, {T}: Draw a card.

S.N.E.A.K. Dispatcher

{2}{U}, {T}: Look at the top card of target player's library. If it has an Agents of S.N.E.A.K. watermark, you may reveal it and put it into your hand. Otherwise, put it on your choice of the top or bottom of its owner's library.