Guff Rewrites History

For each player, choose target nonenchantment, nonland permanent that player controls. Those permanents' owners shuffle them into their libraries. Each player who controlled one of those permanents exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card, then puts the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order. Each player may cast the nonland card they exiled without paying its mana cost.

Den of the Bugbear

If you control two or more other lands, Den of the Bugbear enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R}.
{3}{R}: Until end of turn, Den of the Bugbear becomes a 3/2 red Goblin creature with "Whenever this creature attacks, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token that's tapped and attacking." It's still a land.

Arcane Signet

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Goblin King

Other Goblins get +1/+1 and have mountainwalk.

Rose, Cutthroat Raider

First strike
Raid — At end of combat on your turn, if you attacked this turn, create a Junk token for each opponent you attacked. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn. Activate only as a sorcery.")
Whenever you sacrifice a Junk, add {R}.

Rite of Flame

Add {R}{R}, then add {R} for each card named Rite of Flame in each graveyard.

Junktown

{T}: Add {C}.
{4}{R}, {T}, Sacrifice Junktown: Create three Junk tokens. (They're artifacts with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn. Activate only as a sorcery.")

Beetleback Chief

When Beetleback Chief enters, create two 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens.

Mountain

Blasphemous Act

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each creature on the battlefield.
Blasphemous Act deals 13 damage to each creature.

Relentless Assault

Untap all creatures that attacked this turn. After this main phase, there is an additional combat phase followed by an additional main phase.

Iraxxa, Empress of Mars

Trample
Battle cry (Whenever this creature attacks, each other attacking creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn.)
Paradox — Whenever you cast a spell from anywhere other than your hand, create a 2/2 red Alien Warrior creature token.

Aggravated Assault

{3}{R}{R}: Untap all creatures you control. After this main phase, there is an additional combat phase followed by an additional main phase. Activate only as a sorcery.

City on Fire

Convoke (Your creatures can help cast this spell. Each creature you tap while casting this spell pays for {1} or one mana of that creature's color.)
If a source you control would deal damage to a permanent or player, it deals triple that damage instead.

Goblin Chieftain

Haste (This creature can attack and {T} as soon as it comes under your control.)
Other Goblin creatures you control get +1/+1 and have haste.

Torbran, Thane of Red Fell

If a red source you control would deal damage to an opponent or a permanent an opponent controls, it deals that much damage plus 2 instead.

Heraldic Banner

As this artifact enters, choose a color.
Creatures you control of the chosen color get +1/+0.
{T}: Add one mana of the chosen color.

Conspicuous Snoop

Play with the top card of your library revealed.
You may cast Goblin spells from the top of your library.
As long as the top card of your library is a Goblin card, Conspicuous Snoop has all activated abilities of that card.

Berserkers' Onslaught

Attacking creatures you control have double strike.

Hobgoblin Bandit Lord

Other Goblins you control get +1/+1.
{R}, {T}: Hobgoblin Bandit Lord deals damage equal to the number of Goblins that entered the battlefield under your control this turn to any target.

Goblin Tomb Raider

As long as you control an artifact, Goblin Tomb Raider gets +1/+0 and has haste.

Krenko, Tin Street Kingpin

Whenever Krenko, Tin Street Kingpin attacks, put a +1/+1 counter on it, then create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to Krenko's power.

Chaos Warp

The owner of target permanent shuffles it into their library, then reveals the top card of their library. If it's a permanent card, they put it onto the battlefield.

Sandstone Needle

Sandstone Needle enters tapped with two depletion counters on it.
{T}, Remove a depletion counter from Sandstone Needle: Add {R}{R}. If there are no depletion counters on Sandstone Needle, sacrifice it.

Fellwar Stone

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

Goblin Wardriver

Battle cry (Whenever this creature attacks, each other attacking creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn.)

Gleeful Demolition

Destroy target artifact. If you controlled that artifact, create three 1/1 red Phyrexian Goblin creature tokens.

Goblin Balloon Brigade

{R}: Goblin Balloon Brigade gains flying until end of turn.

Rundvelt Hordemaster

Other Goblins you control get +1/+1.
Whenever Rundvelt Hordemaster or another Goblin you control dies, exile the top card of your library. If it's a Goblin creature card, you may cast that card until the end of your next turn.

Barbarian Ring

{T}: Add {R}. Barbarian Ring deals 1 damage to you.
Threshold — {R}, {T}, Sacrifice Barbarian Ring: It deals 2 damage to any target. Activate only if seven or more cards are in your graveyard.

Loyal Apprentice

Haste
Lieutenant — At the beginning of combat on your turn, if you control your commander, create a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying. That token gains haste until end of turn.

Purphoros, God of the Forge

Indestructible
As long as your devotion to red is less than five, Purphoros isn't a creature.
Whenever another creature you control enters, Purphoros deals 2 damage to each opponent.
{2}{R}: Creatures you control get +1/+0 until end of turn.

Disrupt Decorum

Goad all creatures you don't control. (Until your next turn, those creatures attack each combat if able and attack a player other than you if able.)

Sardian Avenger

First strike, trample
Whenever Sardian Avenger attacks, it gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of artifacts your opponents control.
Whenever an artifact an opponent controls is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, Sardian Avenger deals 1 damage to that player.

Tin Street Dodger

Haste
{R}: Tin Street Dodger can't be blocked this turn except by creatures with defender.

Infernal Plunge

As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice a creature.
Add {R}{R}{R}.

Krenko, Mob Boss

{T}: Create X 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens, where X is the number of Goblins you control.

Mind Stone

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice Mind Stone: Draw a card.

Crime Novelist

Whenever you sacrifice an artifact, put a +1/+1 counter on Crime Novelist and add {R}.

War Room

{T}: Add {C}.
{3}, {T}, Pay life equal to the number of colors in your commanders' color identity: Draw a card.

Gempalm Incinerator

Cycling {1}{R} ({1}{R}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)
When you cycle Gempalm Incinerator, you may have it deal X damage to target creature, where X is the number of Goblins on the battlefield.

Wild-Magic Sorcerer

The first spell you cast from exile each turn has cascade. (When you cast your first spell from exile, exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card that costs less. You may cast it without paying its mana cost. Put the exiled cards on the bottom in a random order.)

Battle Cry Goblin

{1}{R}: Goblins you control get +1/+0 and gain haste until end of turn.
Whenever Battle Cry Goblin attacks, if you attacked with creatures with total power 6 or greater this combat, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token that's tapped and attacking.

Krenko, Baron of Tin Street

Haste
{T}, Sacrifice an artifact: Put a +1/+1 counter on each Goblin you control.
Whenever an artifact is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, you may pay {R}. If you do, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token. It gains haste until end of turn.

Bloodmark Mentor

Red creatures you control have first strike.

Demand Answers

As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice an artifact or discard a card.
Draw two cards.

Muxus, Goblin Grandee

When Muxus, Goblin Grandee enters, reveal the top six cards of your library. Put all Goblin creature cards with mana value 5 or less from among them onto the battlefield and the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.
Whenever Muxus attacks, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each other Goblin you control.

Brightstone Ritual

Add {R} for each Goblin on the battlefield.

Fire Diamond

Fire Diamond enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R}.

Volley Veteran

When this creature enters, it deals damage to target creature an opponent controls equal to the number of Goblins you control.

Seething Song

Siege-Gang Commander

When Siege-Gang Commander enters, create three 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens.
{1}{R}, Sacrifice a Goblin: Siege-Gang Commander deals 2 damage to any target.

Empty the Warrens

Create two 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens.
Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn.)

Chancellor of the Forge

You may reveal this card from your opening hand. If you do, at the beginning of the first upkeep, create a 1/1 red Phyrexian Goblin creature token with haste.
When Chancellor of the Forge enters, create X 1/1 red Phyrexian Goblin creature tokens with haste, where X is the number of creatures you control.

Last Chance

Take an extra turn after this one. At the beginning of that turn's end step, you lose the game.

Forgotten Cave

Forgotten Cave enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R}.
Cycling {R} ({R}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Shared Animosity

Whenever a creature you control attacks, it gets +1/+0 until end of turn for each other attacking creature that shares a creature type with it.

Delayed Blast Fireball

Delayed Blast Fireball deals 2 damage to each opponent and each creature they control. If this spell was cast from exile, it deals 5 damage to each opponent and each creature they control instead.
Foretell {4}{R}{R} (During your turn, you may pay {2} and exile this card from your hand face down. Cast it on a later turn for its foretell cost.)

Smoldering Crater

Smoldering Crater enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R}.
Cycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Goblin Goliath

When Goblin Goliath enters, create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the number of opponents you have.
{3}{R}, {T}: If a source you control would deal damage to an opponent this turn, it deals double that damage to that player instead.

Sol Ring

Emergence Zone

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice Emergence Zone: You may cast spells this turn as though they had flash.

Exuberant Fuseling

Trample
Exuberant Fuseling gets +1/+0 for each oil counter on it.
When Exuberant Fuseling enters and whenever another creature or artifact you control is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, put an oil counter on Exuberant Fuseling.

Curse of Opulence

Enchant player
Whenever enchanted player is attacked, create a Gold token. Each opponent attacking that player does the same. (A Gold token is an artifact with "Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Frenzied Goblin

Whenever this creature attacks, you may pay {R}. If you do, target creature can't block this turn.

Goblin Warchief

Goblin spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
Goblins you control have haste.

Springleaf Drum

{T}, Tap an untapped creature you control: Add one mana of any color.

Impact Tremors

Whenever a creature you control enters, this enchantment deals 1 damage to each opponent.

Hazoret's Monument

Red creature spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
Whenever you cast a creature spell, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.

Goblin Chirurgeon

Sacrifice a Goblin: Regenerate target creature.

Goblin Rabblemaster

Other Goblin creatures you control attack each combat if able.
At the beginning of combat on your turn, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token with haste.
Whenever Goblin Rabblemaster attacks, it gets +1/+0 until end of turn for each other attacking Goblin.