Rare-B-Gone

Each player sacrifices all permanents that are rare or mythic rare, then each player reveals their hand and discards all cards that are rare or mythic rare.

Lightning Bolt

Lightning Bolt deals 3 damage to any target.

Grusilda, Monster Masher

Combined, enchanted, and equipped creatures you control have menace.
{3}{B}{R}, {T}: Put two target creature cards from graveyards onto the battlefield combined into one creature under your control. (Its power is equal to their total power, its toughness is equal to their total toughness, and it has their names, mana costs, types, text boxes, etc.)

As Luck Would Have It

Hexproof
Whenever you roll a die, put a number of luck counters on As Luck Would Have It equal to the result. Then if there are 100 or more luck counters on As Luck Would Have It, you win the game. (Count both rolls if you reroll a die.)

Exchange of Words

When Exchange of Words enters, choose two target creatures. For as long as Exchange of Words remains on the battlefield, exchange the text boxes of those creatures.

Starlight Spectacular

Parade! — At the beginning of combat on your turn, choose creatures you control one at a time until each creature you control has been chosen. Each of those creatures gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each creature chosen before it. (Places everyone! The first creature in line gets +0/+0.)

"Brims" Barone, Midway Mobster

When "Brims" Barone, Midway Mobster enters, put a +1/+1 counter on each other creature you control that has a hat.
"Brims" Barone, Midway Mobster has menace as long as you're wearing a hat.

Rat in the Hat

{T}, Sacrifice Rat in the Hat: Until end of turn, you may cast target creature card that has a hat from your graveyard.

Aurelia, the Warleader

Flying, vigilance, haste
Whenever Aurelia attacks for the first time each turn, untap all creatures you control. After this phase, there is an additional combat phase.

Amped Up

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each electrical socket in a wall or floor you can see from your seat.
Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature. Until end of turn, it gets +3/+0 and gains haste.

Fyndhorn Elves

Checks and Balances

Cast this spell only if there are three or more players in the game.
Whenever a player casts a spell, each of that player's opponents may discard a card. If they do, counter that spell.

Strategy, Schmategy

Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.
1 — Do nothing.
2 — Destroy all artifacts.
3 — Destroy all lands.
4 — Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.
5 — Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.
6 — Repeat this process two more times.

Forbidden Orchard

{T}: Add one mana of any color.
Whenever you tap Forbidden Orchard for mana, target opponent creates a 1/1 colorless Spirit creature token.

Pair o' Dice Lost

Roll two six-sided dice. Return any number of cards with total mana value X or less from your graveyard to your hand, where X is the total of those results. Exile Pair o' Dice Lost.

Pointy Finger of Doom

{3}, {T}: Spin Pointy Finger of Doom in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to.

Monoxa, Midway Manager

Whenever you roll a 3 or higher, Monoxa, Midway Manager gains first strike until end of turn. If the roll was 4 or higher, it gains menace until end of turn. If the roll was 5 or higher, it gains lifelink until end of turn.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Three-Headed Goblin

Triple strike (This creature deals first-strike, regular, and last-strike combat damage.)

Upheaval

Return all permanents to their owners' hands.

Split Screen

When Split Screen enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When Split Screen leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Slight Malfunction

Choose one —
• Destroy target artifact.
• Roll a six-sided die. When you do, Slight Malfunction deals 1 damage to each of up to X target creatures, where X is the result.

GO TO JAIL

When GO TO JAIL enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until GO TO JAIL leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice GO TO JAIL.

Giant Growth

Target creature gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

Rafiq of the Many

Exalted (Whenever a creature you control attacks alone, that creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.)
Whenever a creature you control attacks alone, it gains double strike until end of turn.

Blood Crypt

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
As Blood Crypt enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Now I Know My ABC's

At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control permanents with names that include all twenty-six letters of the English alphabet, you win the game.

Plate Spinning

Whenever you cast a spell, copy it and you may choose new targets for the copy. Then balance a card from outside the game on one of your fingertips. When that card falls or touches another card, sacrifice Plate Spinning.

Abstract Iguanart

Whenever you cast a spell, note the first letter of its artist's name. If that letter wasn't already noted, put a +1/+1 counter on Abstract Iguanart.

Ulamog, the Infinite Gyre

When you cast this spell, destroy target permanent.
Indestructible
Annihilator 4 (Whenever this creature attacks, defending player sacrifices four permanents of their choice.)
When Ulamog, the Infinite Gyre is put into a graveyard from anywhere, its owner shuffles their graveyard into their library.

Knight of the Kitchen Sink

First strike, protection from even collector numbers (Nothing with an even collector number can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Over My Dead Bodies

Creature cards in graveyards can attack and block as though they were on the battlefield, can block or be blocked only by creature cards in graveyards, are Zombies in addition to their other types, and have undeathtouch. (If they would deal damage to a creature card, exile that creature card instead.)
Creature cards in your graveyard have haste.

Grand Marshal Macie

You may choose not to untap Grand Marshal Macie during your untap step. If you do, put a pause counter on it, then you lose 1 life for each pause counter on it.
Whenever Macie becomes untapped, remove all pause counters from it.
{2}, {T}: Choose an "until end of turn" or "this turn" effect. As long as Macie remains tapped, that effect doesn't end.

Gus enters with a +1/+1 counter on it for each Magic game you have lost to one of your opponents since you last won a game against them.

Mobile Clone

Using a mobile device, take a picture of target creature. That device enters as a token that's a photocopy of the pictured creature. (Photocopies include Auras, Equipment, counters, and stickers in the shot. Don't touch other people's phones without permission and be careful if you do.)

Murder

Haberthrasher

Deathtouch
Whenever another creature you control that has a hat enters or a hat sticker is put on a creature you control, each opponent loses 1 life.

Breeding Pool

({T}: Add {G} or {U}.)
As Breeding Pool enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Head to Head

You and target opponent play Seven Questions with the top card of that player's library. If you win, prevent all damage that would be dealt this turn by a source of your choice. (To play Seven Questions, that player looks at the card, then you ask up to six yes-or-no questions about the card that they answer truthfully. You guess the card's name—that's question seven—then the player reveals the card.)

Animate Library

Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile Animate Library instead.

Crow Storm

Create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.
Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn.)

Phantasmal Bear

When Phantasmal Bear becomes the target of a spell or ability, sacrifice it.

Just Desserts

Just Desserts deals π damage to target creature. (π is the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. (It's a smidgen more than 3.))

Jetpack Janitor

Alpha strike (This creature has first strike as long as it's blocking or being blocked by a creature that comes after it alphabetically.)

Busted!

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {X}, where X is the number of words in the name with the most words among permanents you control.

Terminus

Put all creatures on the bottom of their owners' libraries.
Miracle {W} (You may cast this card for its miracle cost when you draw it if it's the first card you drew this turn.)

Elvish House Party

Elvish House Party's power and toughness are each equal to the current hour, using the twelve-hour system.

Mind's Desire

Shuffle your library. Then exile the top card of your library. Until end of turn, you may play that card without paying its mana cost.
Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn.)

Icing Manipulator

Each +1/+1 counter on a creature you control is also a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")
{3}{G}, {T}: Roll two six-sided dice. For each odd result, put a +1/+1 counter on a creature of your choice. Activate only as a sorcery.

Slaughter Pact

Destroy target nonblack creature.
At the beginning of your next upkeep, pay {2}{B}. If you don't, you lose the game.

Infinity Elemental

Enter the Dungeon

Players play a Magic subgame under the table, starting at 5 life and using their libraries as their decks. The winner searches their library for two cards, puts those cards into their hand, then shuffles.

Six-y Beast

As Six-y Beast enters, you secretly put six or fewer +1/+1 counters on it, then an opponent guesses the number of counters. If that player guesses right, sacrifice Six-y Beast after it enters.

Embiggen

Until end of turn, target non-Brushwagg creature gets +1/+1 for each supertype, card type, and subtype it has.

Pie-roclasm

Pie-roclasm deals π damage to each non-Clown creature. (How to calculate π isn't important. It's a smidgen more than 3.)

Omniclown Colossus

Affinity for Clowns (This spell costs {1} less to cast for each Clown you control.)
Trample

Omniclown Colossus // Pie-roclasm

Godless Shrine

({T}: Add {W} or {B}.)
As Godless Shrine enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

The Big Top

{T}: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)

Smart Ass

Whenever Smart Ass attacks, choose a card name. If defending player has no cards with the chosen name in their hand, they may reveal their hand. If they don't reveal their hand, Smart Ass can't be blocked this turn.

Dryad Arbor

(Dryad Arbor isn't a spell, it's affected by summoning sickness, and it has "{T}: Add {G}.")

Aardwolf's Advantage

Creatures you control get +2/+0 and gain alpha strike until end of turn. (A creature with alpha strike has first strike as long as it's blocking or being blocked by a creature that comes after it alphabetically.)

Magar of the Magic Strings

{1}{B}{R}: Note the name of target instant or sorcery card in your graveyard and put it onto the battlefield face down. It's a 3/3 creature with "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may create a copy of the card with the noted name. You may cast the copy without paying its mana cost" and "If this creature would leave the battlefield, exile it instead of putting it anywhere else."

Slaying Mantis

Just a second (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can't move permanents.)
Slaying Mantis enters by being thrown from a distance of at least three feet.
When Slaying Mantis enters, it fights each creature an opponent controls that it touched as it entered.

Vedalken Squirrel-Whacker

As Vedalken Squirrel-Whacker enters, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.
If you would roll one or more six-sided dice, instead roll them and you may exchange one result with Vedalken Squirrel-Whacker's base power or base toughness.

Overgrown Tomb

({T}: Add {B} or {G}.)
As Overgrown Tomb enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Pact of the Titan

Create a 4/4 red Giant creature token.
At the beginning of your next upkeep, pay {4}{R}. If you don't, you lose the game.

Cramped Bunker

At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, that player moves a permanent they control to touch Cramped Bunker and no other permanents. If the player can't, destroy each permanent they control that isn't touching Cramped Bunker, then sacrifice it.

Spirit of the Season

When Spirit of the Season enters, it gains haste if it's summer. Put a +1/+1 counter on it if it's autumn. You gain 5 life if it's winter. If it's spring, search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Atinlay Igpay

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Stomping Ground

({T}: Add {R} or {G}.)
As Stomping Ground enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Time Machine

{T}: Exile Time Machine and target nontoken creature you own. Return them to the battlefield at the beginning of your upkeep on your turn X in the next game you play with one of your opponents in this game, where X is the mana value of the exiled creature.

Fowl Play

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a Bird creature with base power and toughness 1/1.

Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle

As Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle enters, you and an opponent each secretly choose Whack or Doodle. Then those choices are revealed. If the choices match, Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle has that ability. Otherwise, it has Buzz.
• Whack — {T}: Target player loses 2 life.
• Doodle — {T}: You gain 3 life.
• Buzz — {2}, {T}: Draw a card.

Cogwork Librarian

Draft Cogwork Librarian face up.
As you draft a card, you may draft an additional card from that booster pack. If you do, put Cogwork Librarian into that booster pack.

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Our Market Research Shows That Players Like Really Long Card Names So We Made this Card to Have the Absolute Longest Card Name Ever Elemental

Art rampage 2 (Whenever this creature becomes blocked by a creature, it gets +2/+2 for each creature in the blocker's art beyond the first.)

Thraben Inspector

When Thraben Inspector enters, investigate. (Create a Clue token. It's an artifact with "{2}, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.")

Watery Grave

({T}: Add {U} or {B}.)
As Watery Grave enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Captain Rex Nebula

At the beginning of combat on your turn, choose target nonland permanent you control. Until end of turn, it becomes a Vehicle artifact with base power and toughness each equal to its mana value, and it gains crew 2 and "Crash Land — Whenever this Vehicle deals damage, roll a six-sided die. If the result is equal to this Vehicle's mana value, sacrifice this Vehicle, then it deals that much damage to any target."

Monastery Swiftspear

Haste
Prowess (Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.)

Fact or Fiction

Reveal the top five cards of your library. An opponent separates those cards into two piles. Put one pile into your hand and the other into your graveyard.

Modular Monstrosity

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you have five seconds to choose a keyword you haven't chosen for a card named Modular Monstrosity today that's been printed on a creature card. If you do, Modular Monstrosity gains that ability. Otherwise, Modular Monstrosity loses all keyword abilities.

Alexander Clamilton

Whenever you cast a wordy spell, scry 2. (A spell is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)
{1}{R}, {T}: Choose target creature you don't control. Reveal the top card of your library. Alexander Clamilton gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of lines of rules text of the revealed card. Alexander Clamilton fights that creature.

Nearby Planet

Rangeling (This card is every land type, including Plains, Island, Swamp, Mountain, Forest, Desert, Gate, Lair, Locus, and all those Urza's ones.)
Nearby Planet enters tapped.
When Nearby Planet enters, sacrifice it unless you pay {1}.

Form of the Squirrel

As Form of the Squirrel enters, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token. You lose the game when that creature leaves the battlefield.
Creatures can't attack you.
You have shroud.
You can't cast spells.

Mistakes Were Made

Destroy target artifact or enchantment. Create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token for each fire extinguisher you can see from your seat.

Steam Vents

({T}: Add {U} or {R}.)
As Steam Vents enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

As long as X is in X's owner's opponent's hand, X's owner may cast X and activate X's abilities. That opponent can't cast X and plays with their hand revealed.
{U}{B}, {T}: Put X into target opponent's hand.
{3}{U}{B}: You may play a land or cast a spell from the hand X is in. If you cast a spell this way, you cast it without paying its mana cost.

Sacred Foundry

({T}: Add {R} or {W}.)
As Sacred Foundry enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

Trigger Happy

Choose a triggered ability of target permanent. It triggers. You control that ability.

Oddly Uneven

Choose one —
• Destroy each creature with an odd number of words in its name. (Hyphenated words are one word.)
• Destroy each creature with an even number of words in its name.

Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker

Haste
{T}: Create a token that's a copy of target nonlegendary creature you control, except it has haste. Sacrifice it at the beginning of the next end step.

Questionable Cuisine

Return up to two target creature cards from your graveyard to your hand. Create a Food token for each trash can you can see from your seat. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")

Hydradoodle

As Hydradoodle enters, roll X six-sided dice. Hydradoodle enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the total of those results.
Reach, trample

The Big Idea

{2}{B/R}{B/R}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Brainiac creature tokens equal to the result.
Tap three untapped Brainiacs you control: The next time you would roll a six-sided die, instead roll two six-sided dice and use the total of those results.

Temple Garden

({T}: Add {G} or {W}.)
As Temple Garden enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Mystical Tutor

Search your library for an instant or sorcery card, reveal it, then shuffle and put that card on top.

Attempted Murder

Choose target creature. Roll X six-sided dice. For each even result, put two -1/-1 counters on that creature. For each odd result, create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.

Isochron Scepter

Imprint — When Isochron Scepter enters, you may exile an instant card with mana value 2 or less from your hand.
{2}, {T}: You may copy the exiled card. If you do, you may cast the copy without paying its mana cost.

City of Ass

City of Ass enters tapped.
{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

Hangman

As Hangman enters, secretly note a word with six to eight letters.
{1}: Target player who doesn't control Hangman guesses the noted word or an unguessed letter in that word. If they guess wrong, put a +1/+1 counter on Hangman. Any player may activate this ability.
When a player guesses the noted word or all of its letters, sacrifice Hangman.

Form of the Approach of the Second Sun

When this enchantment enters, you gain 7 life. You become a card until you leave your library or that library is shuffled. Put yourself seventh from the top, balancing the cards on top of you on your head.
When you draw yourself, you win the game.
When one or more cards fall off your head, exile them and all cards on your head, then sacrifice this enchantment.

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.