Number Crunch

Return target permanent to its owner's hand.
Gotcha — If an opponent says a number, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return this card from your graveyard to your hand.

Trapeze Artist

Flying
This creature enters by being flipped from a height of at least one foot (about 0.3 meters). If it lands face down or didn't turn over completely at least once during the flip, return it to its owner's hand.

Do-It-Yourself Seraph

Flying
Whenever this creature attacks, you may search your library for an artifact card, exile it, then shuffle.
This creature has the text box of each card exiled with this creature in addition to its own.

Keeper of the Sacred Word

As this creature enters, choose a word.
Whenever an opponent says the chosen word, this creature gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

Summon the Pack

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put all creature cards revealed this way onto the battlefield under your control. They're Zombies in addition to their other types. (Remove those cards from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Pie-roclasm

This creature deals π damage to each non-Clown creature. (How to calculate π isn't important. It's a smidgen more than 3.)

Omniclown Colossus

Affinity for Clowns (This spell costs {1} less to cast for each Clown you control.)
Trample

Omniclown Colossus // Pie-roclasm

Adorable Kitten

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

Urza's Fun House

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {∞}. Activate only once and only if you control an Urza's Mine, an Urza's Power-Plant, and an Urza's Tower.
{7}, {T}: Head to AskUrza.com and click Urza's Fun House.

Just Desserts

Just Desserts deals π damage to target creature. (π is the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. (It's a smidgen more than 3.))

Sunpetal Grove

This land enters tapped unless you control a Forest or a Plains.
{T}: Add {G} or {W}.

Hydradoodle

As this creature enters, roll X six-sided dice. This creature enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the total of those results.
Reach, trample

Ineffable Blessing

As this enchantment enters, choose Flavorful or Bland.
• Flavorful — Whenever a creature you control with flavor text enters, draw a card.
• Bland — Whenever a creature you control without flavor text enters, draw a card.

Treacherous Trapezist

Flying
Whenever you cast an alliterative spell, scry 2. (Anything with two or more capitalized words in its name that begin with the same letter is alliterative.)
Other alliterative creatures you control have flying.

Half-Kitten, Half-

Whenever you're dealt damage,
Augment {2}{W} ({2}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Celebr-8000

At the beginning of combat on your turn, roll two six-sided dice. For each result of 1, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn. For each other result, it gains the indicated ability until end of turn. If you rolled doubles, it also gains double strike until end of turn.
• 2 — menace
• 3 — vigilance
• 4 — lifelink
• 5 — flying
• 6 — indestructible

Defective Detective

This creature can't be blocked.
When this creature enters, a person outside the game looks at target opponent's hand and chooses a card from it. That player reveals that card.

One-Clown Band

{2}{R}: Target Robot gets +2/+0 until end of turn.

Gnome-Made Engine

When this creature enters, create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.

Hazmat Suit (Used)

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+1 and has menace.
Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches enchanted creature, that player loses 2 life.

Farewell to Arms

As this enchantment enters, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm.
When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice this enchantment. If you do, that player discards their hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.)

Lila, Hospitality Hostess

You may look at the top card of your library any time.
You may cast common spells from the top of your library.
Guests you control get +1/+1.

Cogmentor

Flying
{4}: Reassemble target Contraption you control. (Move it onto another one of your sprockets.)

Chipper Chopper

Flying
When this creature enters, you may sacrifice another artifact. If you do, put two +1/+1 counters on this creature and it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Work a Double

Assemble two Contraptions. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets. Then repeat this process.)

Goblin S.W.A.T. Team

Say "Goblin S.W.A.T. Team": Put a +1/+1 counter on this creature unless an opponent swats the table within five seconds. Activate only once each turn.

Sacrifice Play

A person outside the game chooses an attacking or blocking creature target opponent controls. That player sacrifices that creature.

The Big Top

{T}: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)

Eager Beaver

When this creature enters, you may untap target permanent.

Sword of Dungeons & Dragons

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.
Equip {2}

"Lifetime" Pass Holder

This creature enters tapped.
When this creature dies, open an Attraction.
Whenever you roll to visit your Attractions, if you roll a 6, you may return this card from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Humming-

Flying
Whenever you attack with two or more creatures,
Augment {3}{W} ({3}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Quick Fixer

Menace
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Grusilda, Monster Masher

Combined, enchanted, and equipped creatures you control have menace.
{3}{B}{R}, {T}: Put two target creature cards from graveyards onto the battlefield combined into one creature under your control. (Its power is equal to their total power, its toughness is equal to their total toughness, and it has their names, mana costs, types, text boxes, etc.)

Teacher's Pet

{2}{W}, Sacrifice this creature: Search your library for a card with augment, combine it with target host you control, then shuffle.

Coming Attraction

Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. Open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

D00-DL, Caricaturist

When D00-DL, Caricaturist enters, create a 4/4 colorless Sketch creature token, which you have fifteen seconds to draw. The token has flying if it has wings in its art. The same is true for first strike and a sword, vigilance and a shield, menace and mean eyes, trample and horns, deathtouch and claws, lifelink and fangs, and haste and footwear.

Urza's Hot Tub

{2}, Discard a card: Search your library for a card that shares a complete word in its name with the discarded card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Free-Range Chicken

{1}{G}: Roll two six-sided dice. If both results are the same, this creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is that result. If the total of those results is equal to any other total you have rolled this turn for this ability, sacrifice it. (For example, if you roll two 3s, it gets +3/+3. If you roll a 4 and a 2 for this ability later that turn, sacrifice it.)

Topsy Turvy

The phases of each player's turn are reversed. (The phases are, in reverse order, ending, second main, combat, first main, and beginning.)
As long as there are more than two players in the game, the turn order is reversed.

Lobe Lobber

Equipped creature has "{T}: This creature deals 1 damage to target player or planeswalker. Roll a six-sided die. On a 5 or higher, untap it."
Equip {2}

Assembled Ensemble

Vigilance
Assembled Ensemble's power is equal to the number of Robots you control.
Whenever you cast a spell with an artifact creature in its art, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Pointy Finger of Doom

{3}, {T}: Spin this artifact in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to.

Step Right Up

Open two Attractions. (Put the top two cards of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Jackknight

Whenever another artifact you control enters, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature. If that artifact is a Contraption, this creature gains lifelink until end of turn.

Stone-Cold Basilisk

Whenever this creature blocks or becomes blocked by a creature with fewer letters in its name, destroy that creature at end of combat. (Punctuation and spaces aren't letters.)
Whenever an opponent reads this creature, that player is turned to stone until end of turn. Stoned players can't attack, block, cast spells, or activate abilities.

Infinity Elemental

Sulfur Falls

This land enters tapped unless you control an Island or a Mountain.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Autograph Book

This artifact enters with a page counter on it for each person who has signed it.
{3}, {T}, Remove a page counter from this artifact: Draw a card.

Sly Spy

Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may destroy target creature facing left in its art. (Creatures without faces don't face anywhere.)

Drowned Catacomb

This land enters tapped unless you control an Island or a Swamp.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Incite Insight

Assemble X Contraptions. (To assemble a Contraption, put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Command Performance

Choose two —
• Open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
• Roll to visit your Attractions.
• You get {TK}{TK}.
• You may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Success!

Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn. If it's a host or has augment, it gains lifelink until end of turn.

Deadbeat Attendant

When this creature enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Baron Von Count

Baron Von Count enters with a doom counter on "5."
Whenever you cast a spell with the indicated numeral in its mana cost, text box, power, or toughness, move the doom counter one numeral to the left.
When the doom counter moves from "1," destroy target player and put that doom counter on "5."

The Grand Calcutron

When The Grand Calcutron enters, each player's hand becomes a program (an ordered row of revealed cards).
Players can play only the first card of their program.
If a card would be put into a player's hand from anywhere, that player reveals it and places it anywhere within their program instead.
At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player's program has fewer than five cards, they draw cards equal to the difference.
The Grand Calcutron can be your commander.

Mother Kangaroo

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. Put a number of +1/+1 counters on this creature equal to the result.

A Real Handful

As long as one or more hands are touching this creature, it gets +2/+2.
As long as two or more hands are touching this creature, it has menace.
As long as three or more hands are touching this creature, it has lifelink.

Ticking Mime Bomb

When this creature enters, without speaking or indicating any specific creature, pantomime to a person outside the game, then they choose a creature you don't control. This creature deals damage equal to twice the number of Robots you control to the chosen creature.

Curious Killbot

Vorthos, Steward of Myth

As Vorthos, Steward of Myth enters, choose a named Magic character.
Each spell you cast with the chosen character in its name, flavor text, or art costs {W}{U}{B}{R}{G} less to cast. This effect reduces only the amount of colored mana you pay.

Ground Pounder

{3}{G}: Roll a six-sided die. This creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.
Whenever you roll a 5 or higher on a die, this creature gains trample until end of turn.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if this card is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return this artifact to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see this artifact.
{2}, Sacrifice this artifact: Destroy target attacking creature.

Resolute Veggiesaur

Trample
Whenever you roll your third die each turn, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.

Land Aid '04

Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. If you sang a song the whole time you were searching and shuffling, you may untap that land.

Willing Test Subject

Reach
Whenever you roll a 4 or higher on a die, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Side Quest

Target player in an Un-game you can see from your seat gains control of target creature you control until your next turn. At the beginning of your next upkeep, put two +1/+1 counters on that creature. (A creature is on the battlefield of only the game its controller is playing.)

Blast from the Past

Madness {R}, cycling {1}{R}, kicker {2}{R}, flashback {3}{R}, buyback {4}{R}
Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was kicked, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.

Enter the Dungeon

Players play a Magic subgame under the table, starting at 5 life and using their libraries as their decks. The winner searches their library for two cards, puts those cards into their hand, then shuffles.

Kindly Cognician

Spells you cast that refer to artifacts or Contraptions in their rules text cost {1} less to cast.

B.O.B. (Bevy of Beebles)

As B.O.B. enters, create four 1/1 blue Beeble creature tokens.
The number of loyalty counters on B.O.B. is equal to the number of Beebles you control. (Create or sacrifice Beebles whenever B.O.B. gains or loses loyalty.)
+1: Up to X target Beebles can't be blocked this turn, where X is the number of cards in your hand.
−1: Draw a card.

Scissors Lizard

Creatures named Paper Tiger can't attack or block.

As Luck Would Have It

Hexproof
Whenever you roll a die, put a number of luck counters on this enchantment equal to the result. Then if there are 100 or more luck counters on this enchantment, you win the game. (Count both rolls if you reroll a die.)

Flaccify

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {3}{½}.

Eelectrocute

Eelectrocute deals 2 damage to any target.
You may cast this card from your graveyard as long as you've rolled a 6 this turn. If you cast it this way and it would be put into your graveyard, exile it instead.

Now You See Me . . .

Exile target creature you control, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with X +1/+1 counters on it, where X is the number of mirrors on walls you can see from your seat.

Squirrel Squatters

When this creature enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
Whenever this creature attacks, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token that's tapped and attacking for each Attraction you've visited this turn.

Tchotchke Elemental

Whenever you create a token or put a counter or a sticker on another permanent, put a knickknack counter on this creature. Use a unique item that completely fits on this creature for each knickknack counter.
This creature gets +1/+1 for each knickknack counter on it.

Dr. Julius Jumblemorph

Dr. Julius Jumblemorph is every creature type (even if this card isn't on the battlefield).
Whenever a host you control enters, you may search your library and/or graveyard for a card with augment and combine it with that host. If you search your library this way, shuffle.

Mary O'Kill

{1}{B/R}: Switch a Killbot or Mary O'Kill in your hand with one on the battlefield. (If a creature is tapped, the switched creature is tapped. The same is true for untapped, attacking, blocking, enchanted, equipped, and targeted. Any counters on a creature are on the switched creature instead.)

Spinnerette, Arachnobat

Reach
When Spinnerette enters, open an Attraction.
As long as you control three or more Attractions, Spinnerette gets +2/+0 and has menace.

Krark's Other Thumb

If you would roll a die, instead roll two of those dice and ignore one of those results.

Better Than One

A person outside the game becomes your teammate. (Choose any number of cards in your hand, on top of your library, or on the battlefield under your control. Those cards become your teammate's hand, library, and permanents, respectively.)

Phoebe, Head of S.N.E.A.K.

Phoebe can't be blocked by creatures with flavor text.
{2}{U}{B}: Phoebe permanently steals target creature's text box. (That creature loses all rules text, flavor text, and watermarks. This creature gains them.)

Rings a Bell

As this enchantment enters, choose a word with four or more letters.
After you say the chosen word for the first time each turn, an opponent may ring or imitate a bell within five seconds. When no opponent does, draw a card.

Serpentine

Landfall — Whenever a land you control enters,
Augment {2}{G} ({2}{G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Crow Storm

Create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.
Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn.)

Wall of Fortune

Defender
You may tap an untapped Wall you control to have any player reroll a die that player rolled.

Half-Squirrel, Half-

Whenever a nontoken creature enters,
Augment {G} ({G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

capital offense

target creature gets -x/-x until end of turn, where x is the number of times a capital letter appears in its rules text. (ignore reminder text and flavor text.)

Ordinary Pony

When this creature enters, you may exile target non-Horse creature you control that wasn't put onto the battlefield with this ability this turn, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control.

Boomstacker

As this creature enters and whenever it attacks, stack two dice on top of it. (All dice must be stacked vertically, one on top of another.)
This creature gets +1/+1 for each die in its stack.
This creature attacks each combat if able.
When the stack falls, sacrifice this creature.

An Incident Has Occurred

Choose one or both —
• Destroy target creature with flying.
• Destroy target Attraction. (It's put into its owner's junkyard.)
You may apologize. If you do, you gain 3 life.

Painiac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. This creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result.

Stinging Scorpion

When this creature enters, target creature an opponent controls gets -1/-1 until end of turn.

It That Gets Left Hanging

When this creature enters, ask a person outside the game to high-five you. If they won't, this creature gains haste until end of turn.

Hinterland Harbor

This land enters tapped unless you control a Forest or an Island.
{T}: Add {G} or {U}.

Animate Library

Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile this Aura instead.

Alexander Clamilton

Whenever you cast a wordy spell, scry 2. (A spell is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)
{1}{R}, {T}: Choose target creature you don't control. Reveal the top card of your library. Alexander Clamilton gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of lines of rules text of the revealed card. Alexander Clamilton fights that creature.

Rhino-

Whenever this creature blocks,
Augment {3}{W} ({3}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)