Shiny Impetus

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and is goaded. (It attacks each combat if able and attacks a player other than you if able.)
Whenever enchanted creature attacks, you create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Sol Ring

Maddening Imp

Flying
{T}: Non-Wall creatures the active player controls attack this turn if able. At the beginning of the next end step, destroy each of those creatures that didn't attack this turn. Activate only during an opponent's turn and only before combat.

Jinxed Choker

At the beginning of your end step, target opponent gains control of Jinxed Choker and puts a charge counter on it.
At the beginning of your upkeep, Jinxed Choker deals damage to you equal to the number of charge counters on it.
{3}: Put a charge counter on Jinxed Choker or remove one from it.

Xantcha, Sleeper Agent

Xantcha, Sleeper Agent enters under the control of an opponent of your choice.
Xantcha attacks each combat if able and can't attack its owner or planeswalkers its owner controls.
{3}: Xantcha's controller loses 2 life and you draw a card. Any player may activate this ability.

Mountain

Torment of Scarabs

Enchant player
At the beginning of enchanted player's upkeep, that player loses 3 life unless they sacrifice a nonland permanent of their choice or discard a card.

Bronze Bombshell

When a player other than Bronze Bombshell's owner controls it, that player sacrifices it. If the player does, Bronze Bombshell deals 7 damage to the player.

Akroan Horse

Defender
When Akroan Horse enters, an opponent gains control of it.
At the beginning of your upkeep, each opponent creates a 1/1 white Soldier creature token.

Curse of Opulence

Enchant player
Whenever enchanted player is attacked, create a Gold token. Each opponent attacking that player does the same. (A Gold token is an artifact with "Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Curse of Shaken Faith

Enchant player
Whenever enchanted player casts a spell other than the first spell they cast each turn or copies a spell, Curse of Shaken Faith deals 2 damage to them.

Curse of Disturbance

Enchant player
Whenever enchanted player is attacked, create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token. Each opponent attacking that player does the same.

Humble Defector

{T}: Draw two cards. Target opponent gains control of Humble Defector. Activate only during your turn.

Assault Suit

Equipped creature gets +2/+2, has haste, can't attack you or planeswalkers you control, and can't be sacrificed.
At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, you may have that player gain control of equipped creature until end of turn. If you do, untap it.
Equip {3}

Blim, Comedic Genius

Flying
Whenever Blim, Comedic Genius deals combat damage to a player, that player gains control of target permanent you control. Then each player loses life and discards cards equal to the number of permanents they control but don't own.

Soot Imp

Flying
Whenever a player casts a nonblack spell, that player loses 1 life.

Aggressive Mining

You can't play lands.
Sacrifice a land: Draw two cards. Activate only once each turn.

Swamp

Evil Eye of Urborg

Non-Eye creatures you control can't attack.
Whenever Evil Eye of Urborg becomes blocked by a creature, destroy that creature.

Plague Reaver

At the beginning of your end step, sacrifice each other creature you control.
Discard two cards, Sacrifice Plague Reaver: Choose target opponent. Return Plague Reaver to the battlefield under that player's control at the beginning of their next upkeep.

Grievous Wound

Enchant player
Enchanted player can't gain life.
Whenever enchanted player is dealt damage, they lose half their life, rounded up.

Archfiend of the Dross

Flying
Archfiend of the Dross enters with four oil counters on it.
At the beginning of your upkeep, remove an oil counter from Archfiend of the Dross. Then if it has no oil counters on it, you lose the game.
Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, its controller loses 2 life.

Rakdos Charm

Choose one —
• Exile target player's graveyard.
• Destroy target artifact.
• Each creature deals 1 damage to its controller.

Phyrexian Negator

Trample
Whenever Phyrexian Negator is dealt damage, sacrifice that many permanents.

Alexios, Deimos of Kosmos

Trample
Alexios, Deimos of Kosmos attacks each combat if able, can't be sacrificed, and can't attack its owner.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player gains control of Alexios, untaps it, and puts a +1/+1 counter on it. It gains haste until end of turn.

Arcane Signet

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Curse of Thirst

Enchant player
At the beginning of enchanted player's upkeep, Curse of Thirst deals damage to that player equal to the number of Curses attached to them.

Cadaver Imp

Flying
When Cadaver Imp enters, you may return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.

Goldnight Castigator

Flying, haste
If a source would deal damage to you, it deals double that damage to you instead.
If a source would deal damage to Goldnight Castigator, it deals double that damage to Goldnight Castigator instead.

Parasitic Impetus

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and is goaded. (It attacks each combat if able and attacks a player other than you if able.)
Whenever enchanted creature attacks, its controller loses 2 life and you gain 2 life.

Steel Golem

Evil Eye of Orms-by-Gore

Non-Eye creatures you control can't attack.
Evil Eye of Orms-by-Gore can't be blocked except by Walls.

Sleeper Agent

When Sleeper Agent enters, target opponent gains control of it.
At the beginning of your upkeep, Sleeper Agent deals 2 damage to you.

Curse of the Cabal

Target player sacrifices half the permanents they control of their choice, rounded down.
Suspend 2—{2}{B}{B} (Rather than cast this card from your hand, you may pay {2}{B}{B} and exile it with two time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter. When the last is removed, you may cast it without paying its mana cost.)
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, if Curse of the Cabal is suspended, that player may sacrifice a permanent of their choice. If the player does, put two time counters on Curse of the Cabal.

Nefarious Lich

If damage would be dealt to you, exile that many cards from your graveyard instead. If you can't, you lose the game.
If you would gain life, draw that many cards instead.
When Nefarious Lich leaves the battlefield, you lose the game.

Grid Monitor

Demonic Lore

When Demonic Lore enters, draw three cards.
At the beginning of your end step, you lose 2 life for each card in your hand.

Vow of Lightning

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2, has first strike, and can't attack you or planeswalkers you control.

Rust Elemental

Flying
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice an artifact other than Rust Elemental. If you can't, tap Rust Elemental and you lose 4 life.

Priest of the Blood Rite

When Priest of the Blood Rite enters, create a 5/5 black Demon creature token with flying.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 2 life.

Fateful Handoff

Draw cards equal to the mana value of target artifact or creature you control. An opponent gains control of that permanent.

Pendant of Prosperity

Pendant of Prosperity enters under the control of an opponent of your choice.
{2}, {T}: Draw a card, then you may put a land card from your hand onto the battlefield. Pendant of Prosperity's owner draws a card, then that player may put a land card from their hand onto the battlefield.

Chaos Imps

Flying
Unleash (You may have this creature enter with a +1/+1 counter on it. It can't block as long as it has a +1/+1 counter on it.)
Chaos Imps has trample as long as it has a +1/+1 counter on it.

Necrotic Plague

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature has "At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice this creature."
When enchanted creature dies, its controller chooses target creature one of their opponents controls. Return Necrotic Plague from its owner's graveyard to the battlefield attached to that creature.

Curse of Bloodletting

Enchant player
If a source would deal damage to enchanted player, it deals double that damage to that player instead.

Captive Audience

Captive Audience enters under the control of an opponent of your choice.
At the beginning of your upkeep, choose one that hasn't been chosen —
• Your life total becomes 4.
• Discard your hand.
• Each opponent creates five 2/2 black Zombie creature tokens.

Abyssal Persecutor

Flying, trample
You can't win the game and your opponents can't lose the game.

Immortal Coil

{T}, Exile two cards from your graveyard: Draw a card.
If damage would be dealt to you, prevent that damage. Exile a card from your graveyard for each 1 damage prevented this way.
When there are no cards in your graveyard, you lose the game.

Endless Whispers

Each creature has "When this creature dies, choose target opponent. That player puts this card from its owner's graveyard onto the battlefield under their control at the beginning of the next end step."

Rakdos Signet

Demonic Pact

At the beginning of your upkeep, choose one that hasn't been chosen —
• This enchantment deals 4 damage to any target and you gain 4 life.
• Target opponent discards two cards.
• Draw two cards.
• You lose the game.

Valgavoth, Harrower of Souls

Flying
Ward—Pay 2 life.
Whenever an opponent loses life for the first time during each of their turns, put a +1/+1 counter on Valgavoth, Harrower of Souls and draw a card.

Vow of Malice

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2, has intimidate, and can't attack you or planeswalkers you control. (A creature with intimidate can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or creatures that share a color with it.)

Valgavoth, Terror Eater

Flying, lifelink
Ward—Sacrifice three nonland permanents.
If a card you didn't control would be put into an opponent's graveyard from anywhere, exile it instead.
During your turn, you may play cards exiled with Valgavoth. If you cast a spell this way, pay life equal to its mana value rather than pay its mana cost.

Popular Entertainer

Commander creatures you own have "Whenever one or more creatures you control deal combat damage to a player, goad target creature that player controls." (Until your next turn, that creature attacks each combat if able and attacks a player other than you if able.)

Curse of Misfortunes

Enchant player
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may search your library for a Curse card that doesn't have the same name as a Curse attached to enchanted player, put it onto the battlefield attached to that player, then shuffle.

Harmless Offering

Target opponent gains control of target permanent you control.

Traveling Plague

Enchant creature
At the beginning of each upkeep, put a plague counter on Traveling Plague.
Enchanted creature gets -1/-1 for each plague counter on Traveling Plague.
When enchanted creature leaves the battlefield, that creature's controller returns Traveling Plague from its owner's graveyard to the battlefield.

Greed's Gambit

When Greed's Gambit enters, you draw three cards, gain 6 life, and create three 2/1 black Bat creature tokens with flying.
At the beginning of your end step, you discard a card, lose 2 life, and sacrifice a creature.
When Greed's Gambit leaves the battlefield, you discard three cards, lose 6 life, and sacrifice three creatures.

Jinxed Ring

Whenever a nontoken permanent is put into your graveyard from the battlefield, Jinxed Ring deals 1 damage to you.
Sacrifice a creature: Target opponent gains control of Jinxed Ring. (This effect lasts indefinitely.)

Jinxed Idol

At the beginning of your upkeep, Jinxed Idol deals 2 damage to you.
Sacrifice a creature: Target opponent gains control of Jinxed Idol.

Curse of Hospitality

Enchant player
Creatures attacking enchanted player have trample.
Whenever a creature deals combat damage to enchanted player, that player exiles the top card of their library. Until end of turn, that creature's controller may play that card and they may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast that spell.

Trespasser's Curse

Enchant player
Whenever a creature enchanted player controls enters, that player loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.

Bazaar Trader

{T}: Target player gains control of target artifact, creature, or land you control.

Nettling Imp

{T}: Choose target non-Wall creature the active player has controlled continuously since the beginning of the turn. That creature attacks this turn if able. Destroy it at the beginning of the next end step if it didn't attack this turn. Activate only during an opponent's turn, before attackers are declared.

Forbidden Crypt

If you would draw a card, return a card from your graveyard to your hand instead. If you can't, you lose the game.
If a card would be put into your graveyard from anywhere, exile that card instead.

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{"ops":[{"insert":"Have I got a deal for you, also the punchline is a killer!\n"}]}