Guff Rewrites History

For each player, choose target nonenchantment, nonland permanent that player controls. Those permanents' owners shuffle them into their libraries. Each player who controlled one of those permanents exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card, then puts the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order. Each player may cast the nonland card they exiled without paying its mana cost.

An Offer You Can't Refuse

Counter target noncreature spell. Its controller creates two Treasure tokens. (They're artifacts with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Swan Song

Counter target enchantment, instant, or sorcery spell. Its controller creates a 2/2 blue Bird creature token with flying.

Jeska's Will

Choose one. If you control a commander as you cast this spell, you may choose both instead.
• Add {R} for each card in target opponent's hand.
• Exile the top three cards of your library. You may play them this turn.

Kwain, Itinerant Meddler

{T}: Each player may draw a card, then each player who drew a card this way gains 1 life.

The Ninth Doctor

Haste
Into the TARDIS — Whenever The Ninth Doctor becomes untapped during your untap step, you get an additional upkeep step after this step.

Twenty-Toed Toad

Your maximum hand size is twenty.
Whenever you attack with two or more creatures, put a +1/+1 counter on Twenty-Toed Toad and draw a card.
Whenever Twenty-Toed Toad attacks, you win the game if there are twenty or more counters on it or you have twenty or more cards in hand.

Chaos Warp

The owner of target permanent shuffles it into their library, then reveals the top card of their library. If it's a permanent card, they put it onto the battlefield.

Hithlain Rope

Hithlain Rope can't be sacrificed.
{1}, {T}: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. The player to your right gains control of Hithlain Rope.
{2}, {T}: Draw a card. The player to your right gains control of Hithlain Rope.

Rust Elemental

Flying
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice an artifact other than Rust Elemental. If you can't, tap Rust Elemental and you lose 4 life.

The Locust God

Flying
Whenever you draw a card, create a 1/1 blue and red Insect creature token with flying and haste.
{2}{U}{R}: Draw a card, then discard a card.
When The Locust God dies, return it to its owner's hand at the beginning of the next end step.

Share the Spoils

When Share the Spoils enters and whenever an opponent loses the game, exile the top card of each player's library.
During each player's turn, that player may play a land or cast a spell from among cards exiled with Share the Spoils, and they may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast that spell. When they do, exile the top card of their library.

Zedruu the Greathearted

At the beginning of your upkeep, you gain X life and draw X cards, where X is the number of permanents you own that your opponents control.
{U}{R}{W}: Target opponent gains control of target permanent you control.

Paradox Haze

Enchant player
At the beginning of enchanted player's first upkeep each turn, that player gets an additional upkeep step after this step.

The Second Doctor

Players have no maximum hand size.
How Civil of You — At the beginning of your end step, each player may draw a card. Each opponent who does can't attack you or permanents you control during their next turn.

Kami of the Crescent Moon

At the beginning of each player's draw step, that player draws an additional card.

Bronze Bombshell

When a player other than Bronze Bombshell's owner controls it, that player sacrifices it. If the player does, Bronze Bombshell deals 7 damage to the player.

Alexios, Deimos of Kosmos

Trample
Alexios, Deimos of Kosmos attacks each combat if able, can't be sacrificed, and can't attack its owner.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player gains control of Alexios, untaps it, and puts a +1/+1 counter on it. It gains haste until end of turn.

Khârn the Betrayer

Berzerker — Khârn the Betrayer attacks or blocks each combat if able.
Sigil of Corruption — When you lose control of Khârn the Betrayer, draw two cards.
The Betrayer — If damage would be dealt to Khârn the Betrayer, prevent that damage and an opponent of your choice gains control of it.

Psychosis Crawler

Psychosis Crawler's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards in your hand.
Whenever you draw a card, each opponent loses 1 life.

Pendant of Prosperity

Pendant of Prosperity enters under the control of an opponent of your choice.
{2}, {T}: Draw a card, then you may put a land card from your hand onto the battlefield. Pendant of Prosperity's owner draws a card, then that player may put a land card from their hand onto the battlefield.

Braids, Conjurer Adept

At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player may put an artifact, creature, or land card from their hand onto the battlefield.

Humble Defector

{T}: Draw two cards. Target opponent gains control of Humble Defector. Activate only during your turn.

Master of Ceremonies

At the beginning of your upkeep, each opponent chooses money, friends, or secrets. For each player who chose money, you and that player each create a Treasure token. For each player who chose friends, you and that player each create a 1/1 green and white Citizen creature token. For each player who chose secrets, you and that player each draw a card.

Arcane Denial

Counter target spell. Its controller may draw up to two cards at the beginning of the next turn's upkeep.
You draw a card at the beginning of the next turn's upkeep.

Thought Vessel

You have no maximum hand size.
{T}: Add {C}.

Ian Malcolm, Chaotician

Whenever a player draws their second card each turn, that player exiles the top card of their library.
During each player's turn, that player may cast a spell from among the cards they don't own exiled with Ian Malcolm, Chaotician, and mana of any type can be spent to cast it.

Shifting Grift

Spree (Choose one or more additional costs.)
+ {2} — Exchange control of two target creatures.
+ {1} — Exchange control of two target artifacts.
+ {1} — Exchange control of two target enchantments.

Volatile Stormdrake

Flying, hexproof from activated and triggered abilities
When Volatile Stormdrake enters, exchange control of Volatile Stormdrake and target creature an opponent controls. If you do, you get {E}{E}{E}{E}, then sacrifice that creature unless you pay an amount of {E} equal to its mana value.

Vedalken Plotter

When Vedalken Plotter enters, exchange control of target land you control and target land an opponent controls.

Sol Ring

Deflecting Swat

If you control a commander, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost.
You may choose new targets for target spell or ability.

Akroan Horse

Defender
When Akroan Horse enters, an opponent gains control of it.
At the beginning of your upkeep, each opponent creates a 1/1 white Soldier creature token.

Farewell

Choose one or more —
• Exile all artifacts.
• Exile all creatures.
• Exile all enchantments.
• Exile all graveyards.

Flawless Maneuver

If you control a commander, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost.
Creatures you control gain indestructible until end of turn.

Role Reversal

Exchange control of two target permanents that share a permanent type.

Cinder Giant

At the beginning of your upkeep, Cinder Giant deals 2 damage to each other creature you control.

Cyclonic Rift

Return target nonland permanent you don't control to its owner's hand.
Overload {6}{U} (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change "target" in its text to "each.")

Yes Man, Personal Securitron

{T}: Target opponent gains control of Yes Man, Personal Securitron. When they do, you draw two cards and put a quest counter on Yes Man. Activate only during your turn.
Wild Card — When Yes Man leaves the battlefield, its owner creates a tapped 1/1 white Soldier creature token for each quest counter on it.

Arcane Signet

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Gilded Drake

Flying
When Gilded Drake enters, exchange control of Gilded Drake and up to one target creature an opponent controls. If you don't or can't make an exchange, sacrifice Gilded Drake. This ability still resolves if its target becomes illegal.

Slicer, High-Speed Antagonist

Living metal (During your turn, this Vehicle is also a creature.)
First strike, haste
Whenever Slicer deals combat damage to a player, convert it at end of combat.

Slicer, Hired Muscle

More Than Meets the Eye {2}{R} (You may cast this card converted for {2}{R}.)
Double strike, haste
At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, you may have that player gain control of Slicer until end of turn. If you do, untap Slicer, goad it, and it can't be sacrificed this turn. If you don't, convert it.

Slicer, Hired Muscle // Slicer, High-Speed Antagonist

Perplexing Chimera

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you may exchange control of Perplexing Chimera and that spell. If you do, you may choose new targets for the spell. (If the spell becomes a permanent, you control that permanent.)

Swords to Plowshares

Exile target creature. Its controller gains life equal to its power.

Fierce Guardianship

If you control a commander, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost.
Counter target noncreature spell.

Loran of the Third Path

Vigilance
When Loran of the Third Path enters, destroy up to one target artifact or enchantment.
{T}: You and target opponent each draw a card.

Triskaidekaphile

You have no maximum hand size.
At the beginning of your upkeep, if you have exactly thirteen cards in your hand, you win the game.
{3}{U}: Draw a card.