Ticket Turbotubes

{T}: Add one mana of any color.
{3}, {T}: You get {TK} (a ticket counter).

Nira, Hellkite Duelist

Flash
Flying, trample, haste
When Nira, Hellkite Duelist enters, the next time you would lose the game this turn, instead draw three cards and your life total becomes 5.

City of Ass

City of Ass enters tapped.
{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

Commander's Sphere

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.
Sacrifice Commander's Sphere: Draw a card.

Emcee

Whenever another creature enters, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.

Blood Crypt

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
As Blood Crypt enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Savai Triome

({T}: Add {R}, {W}, or {B}.)
Savai Triome enters tapped.
Cycling {3} ({3}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Number Crunch

Return target permanent to its owner's hand.
Gotcha — If an opponent says a number, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Number Crunch from your graveyard to your hand.

Save Life

Choose one —
• Target player gains 2½ life.
• Prevent the next 2½ damage that would be dealt to target creature this turn.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "save" or "life," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Save Life from your graveyard to your hand.

Questionable Cuisine

Return up to two target creature cards from your graveyard to your hand. Create a Food token for each trash can you can see from your seat. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")

Mox Lotus

{T}: Add {∞}.
{100}: Add one mana of any color.

Mountain

Mother of Goons

Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, sacrifice Mother of Goons unless you insult that creature.

Decisions, Decisions

Reveal the top three cards of your library, then choose a consonant. (Y counts.) Put each card that has the chosen letter in the first word of its name from among them into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in any order.

Blufferfish

{3}{U}: An opponent tells you a statement about themselves and secretly notes whether it's true or false. You guess which it is. If you guessed correctly, Blufferfish gets +2/+0 and can't be blocked this turn.

Staying Power

"Until end of turn" and "this turn" effects don't end.

Sacred Foundry

({T}: Add {R} or {W}.)
As Sacred Foundry enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Overgrown Tomb

({T}: Add {B} or {G}.)
As Overgrown Tomb enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Jetmir's Garden

({T}: Add {R}, {G}, or {W}.)
Jetmir's Garden enters tapped.
Cycling {3} ({3}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Jalum Grifter

{1}{R}, {T}: Shuffle Jalum Grifter and two lands you control face down. Target opponent chooses one of those cards. Turn the cards face up. If they chose Jalum Grifter, sacrifice it. Otherwise, destroy target permanent.

Teferi's Protection

Until your next turn, your life total can't change and you gain protection from everything. All permanents you control phase out. (While they're phased out, they're treated as though they don't exist. They phase in before you untap during your untap step.)
Exile Teferi's Protection.

Watery Grave

({T}: Add {U} or {B}.)
As Watery Grave enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Transcantation

Target instant or sorcery spell becomes a copy of Lightning Bolt. Its controller may choose new targets for it.

Artful Looter

{T}: Draw a card, then discard a card.
Whenever a permanent that shares an artist with another permanent you control enters, untap Artful Looter.

Well Done

Well Done deals 5 damage to target creature. If that creature is rare or mythic rare, Well Done deals 3 damage to that creature's controller.

Mobile Clone

Using a mobile device, take a picture of target creature. That device enters as a token that's a photocopy of the pictured creature. (Photocopies include Auras, Equipment, counters, and stickers in the shot. Don't touch other people's phones without permission and be careful if you do.)

Rod of Spanking

{2}, {T}: Rod of Spanking deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap Rod of Spanking unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

Truss, Chief Engineer

Whenever Truss, Chief Engineer enters or another creature dies, put a hack counter on Truss.
{2}, {T}, Remove X hack counters from Truss: Add or subtract X from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn. This effect can't reduce a number below 1 or a number word below one.

Face to Face

You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.

Hallowed Fountain

({T}: Add {W} or {U}.)
As Hallowed Fountain enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Alexander Clamilton

Whenever you cast a wordy spell, scry 2. (A spell is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)
{1}{R}, {T}: Choose target creature you don't control. Reveal the top card of your library. Alexander Clamilton gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of lines of rules text of the revealed card. Alexander Clamilton fights that creature.

Discourtesy Clerk

When Discourtesy Clerk enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
At the beginning of your end step, if you control three or more Attractions, you draw a card and you lose 1 life.

Focused Funambulist

Flash
As Focused Funambulist enters, you may put an art sticker on the empty side of the balancing pole. When you do, ask a person outside the game "Does this look balanced?" If they say yes, you may tap or untap target creature.

Temple Garden

({T}: Add {G} or {W}.)
As Temple Garden enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Force of Savagery

Ambassador Blorpityblorpboop

When Ambassador Blorpityblorpboop enters, you get {TK}{TK}{TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.
At the beginning of each combat, you may have Ambassador Blorpityblorpboop's base power become equal to the total power of all stickers on permanents you control and its base toughness become equal to those stickers' total toughness.

Stomping Ground

({T}: Add {R} or {G}.)
As Stomping Ground enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Infinity Elemental

Ricochet

Whenever a player casts a spell that targets a single player, each player rolls a six-sided die. Change the target of that spell to the player with the lowest result. Reroll to break ties, if necessary.

Now You See Me . . .

Exile target creature you control, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with X +1/+1 counters on it, where X is the number of mirrors on walls you can see from your seat.

Free-for-All

When Free-for-All enters, exile all creatures face down.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player chooses a card exiled with Free-for-All at random and puts it onto the battlefield.
When Free-for-All leaves the battlefield, put all cards exiled with it into their owners' graveyards.

Scooch

Add or subtract 1 from target creature's power, target player's life total, or target die roll's result.
Draw a card.

Kill! Destroy!

Destroy target nonblack creature.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand.

Game of Chaos

Flip a coin. If you win the flip, you gain 1 life and target opponent loses 1 life, and you decide whether to flip again. If you lose the flip, you lose 1 life and that opponent gains 1 life, and that player decides whether to flip again. Double the life stakes with each flip.

Steam Vents

({T}: Add {U} or {R}.)
As Steam Vents enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Richard Garfield, Ph.D.

You may play cards as though they were other cards of your choice with the same mana cost. You can't choose the same card twice. (Mana cost includes color.)

Bag Check

Counter target spell, then ask a person outside the game if that spell looks dangerous to them. If they say yes, draw a card, then discard a card.

Chicken Troupe

Ward {2} (Whenever this creature becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter it unless that player pays {2}.)
When Chicken Troupe enters, you get {TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Topsy Turvy

The phases of each player's turn are reversed. (The phases are, in reverse order, ending, second main, combat, first main, and beginning.)
As long as there are more than two players in the game, the turn order is reversed.

Forest

Ziatora's Proving Ground

({T}: Add {B}, {R}, or {G}.)
Ziatora's Proving Ground enters tapped.
Cycling {3} ({3}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Riptide Mangler

{1}{U}: Change Riptide Mangler's base power to target creature's power. (This effect lasts indefinitely.)

Trapeze Artist

Flying
Trapeze Artist enters by being flipped from a height of at least one foot (about 0.3 meters). If it lands face down or didn't turn over completely at least once during the flip, return it to its owner's hand.

Zzzyxas's Abyss

At the beginning of your upkeep, destroy all nonland permanents with the first name alphabetically among nonland permanents.

How Is This a Par Three?!

Whenever you cast a spell, you may have target player mill X cards, where X is the number of words in that spell's name.

The Big Top

{T}: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)

Common Courtesy

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice Common Courtesy.

Monitor Monitor

When Monitor Monitor enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
Once each turn, you may pay {1} to reroll one or more dice you rolled.

Animate Library

Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile Animate Library instead.

Subcontract

A person outside the game looks at target opponent's hand and chooses a nonland card from it. That player discards that card.

Busted!

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {X}, where X is the number of words in the name with the most words among permanents you control.

Nearby Planet

Rangeling (This card is every land type, including Plains, Island, Swamp, Mountain, Forest, Desert, Gate, Lair, Locus, and all those Urza's ones.)
Nearby Planet enters tapped.
When Nearby Planet enters, sacrifice it unless you pay {1}.

Arcane Signet

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

_____

{1}: This card's name becomes the card name of your choice. Activate anywhere, anytime.

Breeding Pool

({T}: Add {G} or {U}.)
As Breeding Pool enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Miss Demeanor

Flying, first strike
At the beginning of each other player's upkeep, you may compliment that player on their game play. If you don't, sacrifice Miss Demeanor.

Ambiguity

Whenever a player plays a spell that counters a spell that has been played or a player plays a spell that comes into play with counters, that player may counter the next spell played or put an additional counter on a permanent that has already been played, but not countered.

Animate Graveyard

Enchant your graveyard
Enchanted graveyard is a creature on the battlefield with base power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It has the text boxes of all creature cards in it. It's still a graveyard.
If enchanted graveyard would leave the battlefield, instead exile Animate Graveyard.

Standard Procedure

{1}, Reveal Standard Procedure from your hand: Choose an instant or sorcery card with mana value 3 or less currently legal in the Standard format. Standard Procedure becomes that card until end of turn.

Raffine's Tower

({T}: Add {W}, {U}, or {B}.)
Raffine's Tower enters tapped.
Cycling {3} ({3}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Godless Shrine

({T}: Add {W} or {B}.)
As Godless Shrine enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Plains

Scrambleverse

For each nonland permanent, choose a player at random. Then each player gains control of each permanent for which they were chosen. Untap those permanents.

Command Tower

Fruitcake Elemental

Fruitcake Elemental is indestructible.
At the end of your turn, Fruitcake Elemental deals 7 damage to you.
{3}: Target player gains control of Fruitcake Elemental.

Greater Morphling

{2}: Greater Morphling gains your choice of banding, bushido 1, double strike, fear, flying, first strike, haste, landwalk of your choice, protection from a color of your choice, provoke, rampage 1, shadow, or trample until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling becomes the colors of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling becomes the creature type of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling's expansion symbol becomes the symbol of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling's art becomes by the artist of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling gets +2/-2 or -2/+2 until end of turn.
{2}: Untap Greater Morphling.

Flaccify

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {3}{½}.

Deflecting Palm

The next time a source of your choice would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage. If damage is prevented this way, Deflecting Palm deals that much damage to that source's controller.

More or Less

Add or subtract 1 or one from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn.

Spara's Headquarters

({T}: Add {G}, {W}, or {U}.)
Spara's Headquarters enters tapped.
Cycling {3} ({3}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Perplexing Chimera

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you may exchange control of Perplexing Chimera and that spell. If you do, you may choose new targets for the spell. (If the spell becomes a permanent, you control that permanent.)

Mana Screw

{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate only as an instant.

Eye to Eye

You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature.

Indatha Triome

({T}: Add {W}, {B}, or {G}.)
Indatha Triome enters tapped.
Cycling {3} ({3}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Magical Hacker

{U}: Change the text of target spell or permanent by replacing all instances of + with -, and vice versa, until end of turn.

Myra the Magnificent

Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell from your hand, open an Attraction.
{X}, {T}: Exile target instant or sorcery card with mana value X from your graveyard and choose an Attraction you control that doesn't have a midway counter on it. Put a midway counter on it. For as long as that Attraction is on the battlefield, whenever you visit it, copy the exiled card. You may cast the copy without paying its mana cost.

Swamp

Censorship

As Censorship enters, choose a word.
Whenever a player says the chosen word, Censorship deals 2 damage to that player.

Illicit Auction

Each player may bid life for control of target creature. You start the bidding with a bid of 0. In turn order, each player may top the high bid. The bidding ends if the high bid stands. The high bidder loses life equal to the high bid and gains control of the creature. (This effect lasts indefinitely.)

Spell Counter

Counter target spell.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "spell" or "counter," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Spell Counter from your graveyard to your hand.

Urza's Fun House

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {∞}. Activate only once and only if you control an Urza's Mine, an Urza's Power-Plant, and an Urza's Tower.
{7}, {T}: Head to AskUrza.com and click Urza's Fun House.

The Secret Lair

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}, Say the secret word: Add one mana of any color. Scry 1. You gain 1 life.

Ketria Triome

({T}: Add {G}, {U}, or {R}.)
Ketria Triome enters tapped.
Cycling {3} ({3}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Island

Bar Entry

Choose one —
• Destroy target creature with power 4 or greater.
• Destroy target creature with any part of its head higher than the bar. (Align the tops of both cards to check.)