Blacker Lotus

{T}: Tear this artifact into pieces. Add four mana of any one color. Remove the pieces from the game.

Phone a Friend

Call someone and ask them to choose one. If they don't answer, an opponent chooses one. (Don't explain anything else. You choose targets.)
• A — Gain control of target creature you don't control.
• B — Choose target creature you control. Create two tokens that are each copies of it.
• C — Take an extra turn after this one.
• D — Draw seven cards.

Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike
{1}{B}, Reveal this card from your hand, Say "It's coming": This card deals 1 damage to target opponent or planeswalker. Activate only during your upkeep and only once each turn.

Line Cutter

When this creature enters, roll to visit your Attractions.

Hydradoodle

As this creature enters, roll X six-sided dice. This creature enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the total of those results.
Reach, trample

Grand Marshal Macie

You may choose not to untap Grand Marshal Macie during your untap step. If you do, put a pause counter on it, then you lose 1 life for each pause counter on it.
Whenever Macie becomes untapped, remove all pause counters from it.
{2}, {T}: Choose an "until end of turn" or "this turn" effect. As long as Macie remains tapped, that effect doesn't end.

Aerial Toastmaster

Flying
{3}{W}, Sacrifice another artifact: This creature assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Three-Headed Goblin

Triple strike (This creature deals first-strike, regular, and last-strike combat damage.)

Jackknight

Whenever another artifact you control enters, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature. If that artifact is a Contraption, this creature gains lifelink until end of turn.

Assembled Ensemble

Vigilance
Assembled Ensemble's power is equal to the number of Robots you control.
Whenever you cast a spell with an artifact creature in its art, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Scared Stiff

This creature has menace as long as you control a stickered permanent.

Everythingamajig

{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate only as an instant.
{3}, {T}: Target player discards a card. Activate only during your turn.
{X}: This artifact becomes an X/X Construct artifact creature until end of turn.

Starlight Spectacular

Parade! — At the beginning of combat on your turn, choose creatures you control one at a time until each creature you control has been chosen. Each of those creatures gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each creature chosen before it. (Places everyone! The first creature in line gets +0/+0.)

As Luck Would Have It

Hexproof
Whenever you roll a die, put a number of luck counters on this enchantment equal to the result. Then if there are 100 or more luck counters on this enchantment, you win the game. (Count both rolls if you reroll a die.)

More or Less

Add or subtract 1 or one from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn.

Coming Attraction

Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. Open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Jack-in-the-Mox

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.
1 — Sacrifice this artifact and you lose 5 life.
2 — Add {W}.
3 — Add {U}.
4 — Add {B}.
5 — Add {R}.
6 — Add {G}.

Mirrored Lotus

Reflect {0} (As this enters, each opponent may pay {0}. When they do, they create a token copy of this except it lacks this ability.)
{T}, Exile Mirrored Lotus: Add three mana of any one color.

Celebr-8000

At the beginning of combat on your turn, roll two six-sided dice. For each result of 1, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn. For each other result, it gains the indicated ability until end of turn. If you rolled doubles, it also gains double strike until end of turn.
• 2 — menace
• 3 — vigilance
• 4 — lifelink
• 5 — flying
• 6 — indestructible

Poultrygeist

Flying
Whenever a creature dies, you may roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, sacrifice this creature. Otherwise, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.

Circuits Act

Roll three six-sided dice. For each different result, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Monitor Monitor

When this creature enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
Once each turn, you may pay {1} to reroll one or more dice you rolled.

Nearby Planet

Rangeling (This card is every land type, including Plains, Island, Swamp, Mountain, Forest, Desert, Gate, Lair, Locus, and all those Urza's ones.)
This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, sacrifice it unless you pay {1}.

Hazmat Suit (Used)

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+1 and has menace.
Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches enchanted creature, that player loses 2 life.

Croakid Amphibonaut

This creature has flying as long as you control a stickered permanent.

Animate Library

Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile this Aura instead.

Stop That

Target player discards a card.
Gotcha — If an opponent audibly flicks the cards in their hand, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return this card from your graveyard to your hand.

Amateur Auteur

Sacrifice this creature: Destroy target enchantment.

Miss Demeanor

Flying, first strike
At the beginning of each other player's upkeep, you may compliment that player on their game play. If you don't, sacrifice this creature.

Snickering Squirrel

You may tap this creature to increase the result of a die any player rolled by 1.

Hammer Jammer

As this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
Whenever you roll a die, remove all +1/+1 counters from this creature, then put a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.

Lobe Lobber

Equipped creature has "{T}: This creature deals 1 damage to target player or planeswalker. Roll a six-sided die. On a 5 or higher, untap it."
Equip {2}

Abstract Iguanart

Whenever you cast a spell, note the first letter of its artist's name. If that letter wasn't already noted, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.

Attempted Murder

Choose target creature. Roll X six-sided dice. For each even result, put two -1/-1 counters on that creature. For each odd result, create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.

Quick Fixer

Menace
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

First Pick

Destroy target artifact or enchantment. Assemble a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Bag Check

Counter target spell, then ask a person outside the game if that spell looks dangerous to them. If they say yes, draw a card, then discard a card.

Squirrel Dealer

When this creature enters, ask a person outside the game "Do you like Squirrels?" If they do, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Exit Through the Grift Shop

Yell "Who wants a souvenir?" and announce the name of a nonland card in your graveyard. Each player in an Un-game who can hear you may bid life. You start the bidding at 0. The high bidder loses life equal to the high bid. They copy the card and may cast the copy without paying its mana cost. If you didn't win the bid, you gain life equal to the high bid and create that many Treasure tokens.

Trapeze Artist

Flying
This creature enters by being flipped from a height of at least one foot (about 0.3 meters). If it lands face down or didn't turn over completely at least once during the flip, return it to its owner's hand.

Rad Rascal

When this creature enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Ticket Turbotubes

{T}: Add one mana of any color.
{3}, {T}: You get {TK} (a ticket counter).

Overt Operative

Menace
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Now You See Me . . .

Exile target creature you control, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with X +1/+1 counters on it, where X is the number of mirrors on walls you can see from your seat.

Double Take

Choose another player. You draw two cards. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, you draw two cards.

Scissors Lizard

Creatures named Paper Tiger can't attack or block.

Mons's Goblin Waiters

Letter Bomb

When this artifact enters, sign it and shuffle it into target player's library. That player reveals each card they draw until they draw this card. When that player draws this card, it deals 19½ damage to them.

City of Ass

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

Draconian Gate-Bot

When this creature enters, choose one —
• Open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
• Destroy target Attraction. (It's put into its owner's junkyard.)

Knight of the Kitchen Sink

First strike, protection from two-word names (Nothing with exactly two words in its name can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature. Hyphenated words are one word.)

Box of Free-Range Goblins

Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the result.

Rock Lobster

Creatures named Scissors Lizard can't attack or block.

Cogmentor

Flying
{4}: Reassemble target Contraption you control. (Move it onto another one of your sprockets.)

Kindslaver

{5}, {T}, Sacrifice Kindslaver: A person outside the game controls target player during that player's next turn. Neither player may advise that person until the end of that turn.

Garbage Elemental

When this creature enters, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)
Undying (When this creature dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)

Sole Performer

{T}: Add {T}{T}. Activate only once each turn. (While activating an ability, use {T} rather than tapping the permanent to pay for {T}.)

Standard Procedure

{1}, Reveal Standard Procedure from your hand: Choose an instant or sorcery card with mana value 3 or less currently legal in the Standard format. Standard Procedure becomes that card until end of turn.

Steamflogger of the Month

When this creature enters, it assembles a Contraption for each Contraption you control. (To assemble a Contraption, put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Atomwheel Acrobats

Whenever you roll a 1 or 2, put that many +1/+1 counters on this creature.
{2}{G}: Roll a six-sided die.

Infinity Elemental

Subcontract

A person outside the game looks at target opponent's hand and chooses a nonland card from it. That player discards that card.

Pie-Eating Contest

As an additional cost to cast this spell, gobble X. (Each time you gobble, take a bite of food or sacrifice a Food token.)
X target creatures you control each get +2/+2 and gain trample until end of turn.

Spell Suck

Counter target spell, then assemble a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Charm School

As this enchantment enters, choose a color and balance this enchantment on your head.
Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you by sources of the chosen color.
When this enchantment falls off your head, sacrifice this enchantment.

Deadbeat Attendant

Work a Double

Assemble two Contraptions. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets. Then repeat this process.)

Haberthrasher

Deathtouch
Whenever another creature you control that has a hat enters or a hat sticker is put on a creature you control, each opponent loses 1 life.

Form of the Approach of the Second Sun

When this enchantment enters, you gain 7 life. You become a card until you leave your library or that library is shuffled. Put yourself seventh from the top, balancing the cards on top of you on your head.
When you draw yourself, you win the game.
When one or more cards fall off your head, exile them and all cards on your head, then sacrifice this enchantment.

Park Bleater

Whenever another creature you own enters, you get {TK}.
{W}, {T}: You may put a sticker on a creature you own that entered this turn.

Wordmail

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name.

Tusk and Whiskers

Whenever you put an ability sticker on a creature, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.
{2}{G}{W}, {T}: You get {TK}. You may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Blue Ribbon

When this Equipment enters, ask a person outside the game which creature you control is most deserving of a blue ribbon. Attach this Equipment to that creature.
Equipped creature has best in show. (Whenever another creature becomes the target of a spell or ability you control, you may copy that spell or ability. If you do, the copy targets this creature.)
Equip {3}

Willing Test Subject

Reach
Whenever you roll a 4 or higher on a die, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Well Done

Well Done deals 5 damage to target creature. If that creature is rare or mythic rare, Well Done deals 3 damage to that creature's controller.

A Real Handful

As long as one or more hands are touching this creature, it gets +2/+2.
As long as two or more hands are touching this creature, it has menace.
As long as three or more hands are touching this creature, it has lifelink.

Very Cryptic Command

Choose two —
• Draw a card from an opponent's library.
• Copy target instant or sorcery spell. You may choose new targets for the copy.
• Until end of turn, target creature loses all abilities and becomes a blue Frog with base power and toughness 1/1.
• Create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.

Prize Wall

Defender
{U}, {T}: You get {TK}.
{4}{U}, {T}: You may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Activate only as a sorcery.

Slaying Mantis

Just a second (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can't move permanents.)
This creature enters by being thrown from a distance of at least three feet.
When this creature enters, it fights each creature an opponent controls that it touched as it entered.

First strike, protection from black borders (Nothing with a black border can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Strategy, Schmategy

Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.
1 — Do nothing.
2 — Destroy all artifacts.
3 — Destroy all lands.
4 — Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.
5 — Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.
6 — Repeat this process two more times.

Boomstacker

As this creature enters and whenever it attacks, stack two dice on top of it. (All dice must be stacked vertically, one on top of another.)
This creature gets +1/+1 for each die in its stack.
This creature attacks each combat if able.
When the stack falls, sacrifice this creature.

Elvish Impersonators

As this creature enters, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.

Embiggen

Until end of turn, target non-Brushwagg creature gets +1/+1 for each supertype, card type, and subtype it has.

Glitterflitter

Flying
When Glitterflitter enters, you get {TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

B-I-N-G-O

Trample
Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.
This creature gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

Mana Screw

{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate only as an instant.

Spelling Bee

Flying, deathtouch
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player looks at the top card of your library and chooses a word on that card. You spell that word. If you spell it correctly, draw a card. Otherwise, scry 1.

Look at Me, I'm the DCI

Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)

Face to Face

You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.

Xenosquirrels

This creature enters with two +1/+1 counters on it.
After you roll a die, you may remove a +1/+1 counter from this creature. If you do, increase or decrease the result by 1.

Trigger Happy

Choose a triggered ability of target permanent. It triggers. You control that ability.

Old Guard

{W}, {T}: Tap target creature without reminder text. (Reminder text is still any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

How to Keep an Izzet Mage Busy

Return How to Keep an Izzet Mage Busy to its owner's hand.

Incoming!

Each player searches their library for any number of artifact, creature, enchantment, and/or land cards, puts them onto the battlefield, then shuffles.

A Good Day to Pie

Tap up to two target creatures.
Whenever you put a name sticker on a creature, you may return this card from your graveyard to your hand.

Pair o' Dice Lost

Roll two six-sided dice. Return any number of cards with total mana value X or less from your graveyard to your hand, where X is the total of those results. Exile Pair o' Dice Lost.

Blast from the Past

Madness {R}, cycling {1}{R}, kicker {2}{R}, flashback {3}{R}, buyback {4}{R}
Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was kicked, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.

Super-Duper Death Ray

Trample (This spell can deal excess damage to its target's controller.)
Super-Duper Death Ray deals 4 damage to target creature.

Loopy Lobster

Four-faced (Whenever this becomes tapped, move it to the next stage, or to stage 1 if it's at stage 4.)
Stage 1 — (1/4)
Stage 2 — (4/1) Evolve
Stage 3 — (2/4) {U}: Loopy Lobster gets +1/-1 until end of turn.
Stage 4 — (4/4) Vigilance. {T}: Draw 2 cards.

Impatient Iguana

If Impatient Iguana is in your opening hand and you're not the starting player, you may reveal it. If you do, you become the starting player.
Haste

Weaponized Scrap

Upgrade (This creature enters covering another artifact you control. If it can't, exile it. Ignore the artifact it's covering. Anywhere this card goes, cards underneath it also go. It has haste.)