Half-Orc, Half-

Trample
At the beginning of each end step, if an opponent was dealt damage this turn,
Augment {1}{R}{R} ({1}{R}{R}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Hydradoodle

As Hydradoodle enters, roll X six-sided dice. Hydradoodle enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the total of those results.
Reach, trample

Staff of the Letter Magus

As Staff of the Letter Magus enters, choose a consonant other than N, R, S, or T.
Whenever a player casts a spell, you gain 1 life for each time the chosen letter appears in that spell's name.

Delighted Killbot

Six-y Beast

As Six-y Beast enters, you secretly put six or fewer +1/+1 counters on it, then an opponent guesses the number of counters. If that player guesses right, sacrifice Six-y Beast after it enters.

Paper Tiger

Creatures named Rock Lobster can't attack or block.

Censorship

As Censorship enters, choose a word.
Whenever a player says the chosen word, Censorship deals 2 damage to that player.

Ninja

You may activate Ninja's augment ability any time you could cast an instant.
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player,
Augment {2}{B} ({2}{B}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as—oh, never mind.)

Booster Tutor

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of them into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Mad Science Fair Project

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or lower, target player adds {C}. Otherwise, that player adds one mana of any color they choose.

Mary O'Kill

{1}{B/R}: Switch a Killbot or Mary O'Kill in your hand with one on the battlefield. (If a creature is tapped, the switched creature is tapped. The same is true for untapped, attacking, blocking, enchanted, equipped, and targeted. Any counters on a creature are on the switched creature instead.)

Monkey-

Whenever a nontoken creature you control dies,
Augment {2}{G} ({2}{G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Eager Beaver

When this creature enters, you may untap target permanent.

Gruesome Slaughter

Until end of turn, colorless creatures you control gain "{T}: This creature deals damage equal to its power to target creature."

Little Girl

The Big Idea

{2}{B/R}{B/R}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Brainiac creature tokens equal to the result.
Tap three untapped Brainiacs you control: The next time you would roll a six-sided die, instead roll two six-sided dice and use the total of those results.

Wet Willie of the Damned

Wet Willie of the Damned deals 2½ damage to any target and you gain 2½ life.

Emcee

Whenever another creature enters, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.

Wall of Fortune

Defender
You may tap an untapped Wall you control to have any player reroll a die that player rolled.

Old-Fashioned Vampire

Flying
Old-Fashioned Vampire gets +2/+2 and has deathtouch as long as it's dark outdoors.

Scissors Lizard

Creatures named Paper Tiger can't attack or block.

Ordinary Pony

When this creature enters, you may exile target non-Horse creature you control that wasn't put onto the battlefield with this ability this turn, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control.

Serpentine

Landfall — Whenever a land you control enters,
Augment {2}{G} ({2}{G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Jack-in-the-Mox

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.
1 — Sacrifice Jack-in-the-Mox and you lose 5 life.
2 — Add {W}.
3 — Add {U}.
4 — Add {B}.
5 — Add {R}.
6 — Add {G}.

Secret Base

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell that shares a watermark with Secret Base.

Magic Word

Enchant creature
As Magic Word enters, choose a word.
Whisper the chosen word: Tap enchanted creature.

Syr Cadian, Knight Owl

Knightlifelink (Damage dealt by Knights you control also causes you to gain that much life.)
{W}: Syr Cadian, Knight Owl gains vigilance until end of turn. Activate only from sunrise to sunset.
{B}: Syr Cadian, Knight Owl gains flying until end of turn. Activate only from sunset to sunrise.

Despondent Killbot

Common Courtesy

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice Common Courtesy.

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Box of Free-Range Goblins

Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the result.

Hammer Jammer

As Hammer Jammer enters, roll a six-sided die. Hammer Jammer enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
Whenever you roll a die, remove all +1/+1 counters from Hammer Jammer, then put a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.

Skull Saucer

Flying
When Skull Saucer enters, destroy target creature and put your head on the table. Sacrifice Skull Saucer when your head stops touching the table.

Hoisted Hireling

Hoisted Hireling has flying as long as it's being held above the battlefield.

Boomstacker

As Boomstacker enters and whenever it attacks, stack two dice on top of it. (All dice must be stacked vertically, one on top of another.)
Boomstacker gets +1/+1 for each die in its stack.
Boomstacker attacks each combat if able.
When the stack falls, sacrifice Boomstacker.

Bat-

Flying
At the beginning of each end step, if an opponent lost 3 or more life this turn,
Augment {1}{B} ({1}{B}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Plains

Border Guardian

Whenever you cast a silver-bordered spell, put a +1/+1 counter on Border Guardian.
Whenever you cast a black-bordered spell, Border Guardian can't be blocked this turn.
Whenever you cast a white-bordered spell, Border Guardian gains double strike until end of turn.

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.

Yet Another Aether Vortex

All creatures have haste.
Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.

Masterful Ninja

Haste
Reveal Masterful Ninja from your hand: Masterful Ninja is on the battlefield and in your hand until end of turn.
{1}{B}: Masterful Ninja gets +1/+1 until end of turn.

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike
{1}{B}, Reveal Infernal Spawn of Evil from your hand, Say "It's coming!": Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 1 damage to target opponent or planeswalker. Activate only during your upkeep and only once each turn.

Gnome-Made Engine

When this creature enters, create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.

Frankie Peanuts

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may ask target player a yes-or-no question. If you do, that player answers the question truthfully and abides by that answer if able until end of turn.

Knight of the Kitchen Sink

First strike, protection from even collector numbers (Nothing with an even collector number can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Elvish Impersonators

As Elvish Impersonators enters, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.

Abstract Iguanart

Whenever you cast a spell, note the first letter of its artist's name. If that letter wasn't already noted, put a +1/+1 counter on Abstract Iguanart.

Knight of the Widget

Vigilance
Knight of the Widget's power and toughness are each equal to the number of Order of the Widget watermarks among permanents you control.

Wordmail

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name.

Blurry Beeble

Blurry (This creature can be blocked only if defending player was wearing glasses as it was cast.)
Whenever Blurry Beeble deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card.

Socketed Sprocketer

{T}: Uninstall all results from Socketed Sprocketer, then roll a six-sided die. Install the result on Socketed Sprocketer. (Put the die on this card.)
You may uninstall a result from Socketed Sprocketer to use it for a die you rolled.
Uninstall a 6 from Socketed Sprocketer: Draw a card.

Man of Measure

As long as you're shorter than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +0/+1 and has first strike.
As long as you're taller than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +1/+0.

Stinging Scorpion

When this creature enters, target creature an opponent controls gets -1/-1 until end of turn.

Rock Lobster

Creatures named Scissors Lizard can't attack or block.

Face to Face

You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.

Infernius Spawnington III, Esq.

Flying, first strike, trample, haste
This spell costs {3} less to cast for each card you've revealed this turn.
When Infernius Spawnington III, Esq. enters, you may say "I'm here." If you do, it deals 3 damage to target player.

Flock of Rabid Sheep

Flip X coins. For each flip you win, create a 2/2 green Sheep creature token named Rabid Sheep.

Swamp

Diamond Knight

Vigilance (Attacking doesn't cause this creature to tap.)
As Diamond Knight enters, choose a color.
Whenever you cast a spell of the chosen color, put a +1/+1 counter on Diamond Knight.

More or Less

Add or subtract 1 or one from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn.

Monkey Cage

When a creature enters, sacrifice Monkey Cage and create X 2/2 green Monkey creature tokens, where X is that creature's mana value.

Adorable Kitten

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

Strutting Turkey

When this creature enters,
exile target creature card with mana value 2 or less from your graveyard. If it has augment, combine it with a host you control. Otherwise, put it onto the battlefield.

Feisty Stegosaurus

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature deals damage equal to the result to target creature an opponent controls.

Stet, Draconic Proofreader

Flying
Whenever Stet, Draconic Proofreader attacks, you may exile a card from your graveyard. When you do, Stet, Draconic Proofreader deals 4 damage to any target whose name begins with the same letter as the exiled card.
{W}: Delete the first letter of target permanent or player's name until end of turn.

Half-Kitten, Half-

Whenever you're dealt damage,
Augment {2}{W} ({2}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Old Guard

{W}, {T}: Tap target creature without reminder text. (Reminder text is still any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Watermarket

{T}: Add {C}{C}. Spend this mana only to cast spells with watermarks.

Willing Test Subject

Reach
Whenever you roll a 4 or higher on a die, put a +1/+1 counter on Willing Test Subject.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Robo-

At the beginning of each end step, if an artifact entered the battlefield under your control this turn,
Augment {2} ({2}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Clever Combo

Search your library for a host card or a card with augment, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Island

Selfie Preservation

Search your library for a basic land card and reveal it. If there's a tree in its art, put it onto the battlefield tapped. Otherwise, put it into your hand. Then shuffle.

Goblin S.W.A.T. Team

Say "Goblin S.W.A.T. Team": Put a +1/+1 counter on Goblin S.W.A.T. Team unless an opponent swats the table within five seconds. Activate only once each turn.

Strategy, Schmategy

Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.
1 — Do nothing.
2 — Destroy all artifacts.
3 — Destroy all lands.
4 — Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.
5 — Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.
6 — Repeat this process two more times.

Crow Storm

Create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.
Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn.)

Time Out

Roll a six-sided die. Put target nonland permanent into its owner's library just beneath the top X cards of that library, where X is the result.

Voracious Vacuum

When this creature enters, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.

Fowl Play

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a Bird creature with base power and toughness 1/1.

Titan's Presence

As an additional cost to cast this spell, reveal a colorless creature card from your hand.
Exile target creature if its power is less than or equal to the revealed card's power.

Topsy Turvy

The phases of each player's turn are reversed. (The phases are, in reverse order, ending, second main, combat, first main, and beginning.)
As long as there are more than two players in the game, the turn order is reversed.

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Shaggy Camel

When this creature enters, creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.

Sword of Dungeons & Dragons

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.
Equip {2}

Knight of the Hokey Pokey

First strike
{1}{W}, Do the Hokey Pokey: Prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to Knight of the Hokey Pokey this turn. (To do the Hokey Pokey, choose an arm, a leg, or your whole self and put it in. Put it out. Put it in. Shake it all about. You do the Hokey Pokey! Turn yourself around.)

Super-Duper Death Ray

Trample (This spell can deal excess damage to its target's controller.)
Super-Duper Death Ray deals 4 damage to target creature.

Look at Me, I'm R&D

As Look at Me, I'm R&D comes into play, choose a number and a second number one higher or one lower than that number.
All instances of the first chosen number on permanents, spells, and cards in any zone are the second chosen number.

Mer Man

When this creature enters, you may draw a card.

Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike, trample
Once each turn, while you're searching your library, you may pay {1}{B}, reveal Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil from your library and say "I'm coming, too!" If you do, Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 2 damage to a player of your choice.

Just Desserts

Just Desserts deals π damage to target creature. (π is the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. (It's a smidgen more than 3.))

Mouth to Mouth

Choose target opponent and target creature they control. You and that player have a breath-holding contest. If you win, you gain control of that creature.

Rhino-

Whenever this creature blocks,
Augment {3}{W} ({3}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Spirit of the Season

When Spirit of the Season enters, it gains haste if it's summer. Put a +1/+1 counter on it if it's autumn. You gain 5 life if it's winter. If it's spring, search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Double Header

Flying
When Double Header enters, you may return target permanent with a two-word name to its owner's hand.

Inhumaniac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or 4, put a +1/+1 counter on Inhumaniac. On a 5 or higher, put two +1/+1 counters on it. On a 1, remove all +1/+1 counters from Inhumaniac.

Johnny, Combo Player

{4}: Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

Common Iguana

When this creature enters, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.

Crafty Octopus

When this creature enters, this creature assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Water Gun Balloon Game

As Water Gun Balloon Game enters, each player puts a pop! counter on "0."
Whenever a player casts a spell, move that player's pop! counter up one.
Whenever a player's pop! counter hits "5," that player creates a 5/5 pink Giant Teddy Bear creature token and resets all pop! counters to "0."

Enter the Dungeon

Players play a Magic subgame under the table, starting at 5 life and using their libraries as their decks. The winner searches their library for two cards, puts those cards into their hand, then shuffles.

Target Minotaur

Prowess (Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.)

Spy Eye

Flying
Whenever Spy Eye deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card from that player's library.