Ballroom Brawlers

Whenever Ballroom Brawlers attacks, Ballroom Brawlers and up to one other target creature you control both gain your choice of first strike or lifelink until end of turn.

Gix's Command

Choose two —
• Put two +1/+1 counters on up to one creature. It gains lifelink until end of turn.
• Destroy each creature with power 2 or less.
• Return up to two creature cards from your graveyard to your hand.
• Each opponent sacrifices a creature with the highest power among creatures they control.

Infinity Elemental

Proxy

It That Betrays

Annihilator 2 (Whenever this creature attacks, defending player sacrifices two permanents of their choice.)
Whenever an opponent sacrifices a nontoken permanent, put that card onto the battlefield under your control.

Knight of the Hokey Pokey

First strike
{1}{W}, Do the Hokey Pokey: Prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to Knight of the Hokey Pokey this turn. (To do the Hokey Pokey, choose an arm, a leg, or your whole self and put it in. Put it out. Put it in. Shake it all about. You do the Hokey Pokey! Turn yourself around.)

Rad Rascal

When Rad Rascal enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Goblin Girder Gang

Reach
Whenever you roll a die, if the result isn't stored on Goblin Girder Gang, you may store that result on it. When you do, Goblin Girder Gang deals 1 damage to any target without a hat.
Goblin Girder Gang gets +1/+0 for each result stored on it.

Discourtesy Clerk

When Discourtesy Clerk enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
At the beginning of your end step, if you control three or more Attractions, you draw a card and you lose 1 life.

Dockside Extortionist

When Dockside Extortionist enters, create X Treasure tokens, where X is the number of artifacts and enchantments your opponents control. (Treasure tokens are artifacts with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

Common Courtesy

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice Common Courtesy.

Ulamog, the Infinite Gyre

When you cast this spell, destroy target permanent.
Indestructible
Annihilator 4 (Whenever this creature attacks, defending player sacrifices four permanents of their choice.)
When Ulamog, the Infinite Gyre is put into a graveyard from anywhere, its owner shuffles their graveyard into their library.

Alpha Guard

When Alpha Guard enters, choose a letter.
{T}: Untap another target permanent whose name starts with the chosen letter.

Aggravated Assault

{3}{R}{R}: Untap all creatures you control. After this main phase, there is an additional combat phase followed by an additional main phase. Activate only as a sorcery.

Big Score

As an additional cost to cast this spell, discard a card.
Draw two cards and create two Treasure tokens. (They're artifacts with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Petting Zookeeper

Reach
When Petting Zookeeper enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Pippa, Duchess of Dice

{2}{G}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. It becomes a green Die creature token with power and toughness each equal to its result.
{2}{U}, {T}: Reroll any die. (Activate only any time it makes sense.)

Ruby Medallion

Red spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.

Avatar of Me

This spell costs {1} more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.
Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.
Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

Swords to Plowshares

Exile target creature. Its controller gains life equal to its power.

Fact or Fiction

Reveal the top five cards of your library. An opponent separates those cards into two piles. Put one pile into your hand and the other into your graveyard.

Humming-

Flying
Whenever you attack with two or more creatures,
Augment {3}{W} ({3}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Smothering Tithe

Whenever an opponent draws a card, that player may pay {2}. If the player doesn't, you create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Bitterblossom

At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 1 life and create a 1/1 black Faerie Rogue creature token with flying.

Pointy Finger of Doom

{3}, {T}: Spin Pointy Finger of Doom in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to.

Sword of War and Peace

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from red and from white.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, Sword of War and Peace deals damage to that player equal to the number of cards in their hand and you gain 1 life for each card in your hand.
Equip {2}

Monitor Monitor

When Monitor Monitor enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
Once each turn, you may pay {1} to reroll one or more dice you rolled.

Emcee

Whenever another creature enters, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.

Sword of Fire and Ice

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from red and from blue.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, Sword of Fire and Ice deals 2 damage to any target and you draw a card.
Equip {2}

Sword of Forge and Frontier

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from red and from green.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, exile the top two cards of your library. You may play those cards this turn. You may play an additional land this turn.
Equip {2}

Tezzeret, Master of the Bridge

Creature and planeswalker spells you cast have affinity for artifacts. (They cost {1} less to cast for each artifact you control.)
+2: Tezzeret, Master of the Bridge deals X damage to each opponent, where X is the number of artifacts you control. You gain X life.
−3: Return target artifact card from your graveyard to your hand.
−8: Exile the top ten cards of your library. Put all artifact cards from among them onto the battlefield.

Six-y Beast

As Six-y Beast enters, you secretly put six or fewer +1/+1 counters on it, then an opponent guesses the number of counters. If that player guesses right, sacrifice Six-y Beast after it enters.

Alexander Clamilton

Whenever you cast a wordy spell, scry 2. (A spell is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)
{1}{R}, {T}: Choose target creature you don't control. Reveal the top card of your library. Alexander Clamilton gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of lines of rules text of the revealed card. Alexander Clamilton fights that creature.

Howling Mine

At the beginning of each player's draw step, if Howling Mine is untapped, that player draws an additional card.

Mind Stone

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice Mind Stone: Draw a card.

Grim Monolith

Grim Monolith doesn't untap during your untap step.
{T}: Add {C}{C}{C}.
{4}: Untap Grim Monolith.

Involuntary Employment

Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature. It gains haste until end of turn. Create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.")

Park Re-Entry

Return up to two target creature cards that each have a hat and/or mana value 3 or less from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Old Guard

{W}, {T}: Tap target creature without reminder text. (Reminder text is still any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Krenko, Tin Street Kingpin

Whenever Krenko, Tin Street Kingpin attacks, put a +1/+1 counter on it, then create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to Krenko's power.

Necropotence

Skip your draw step.
Whenever you discard a card, exile that card from your graveyard.
Pay 1 life: Exile the top card of your library face down. Put that card into your hand at the beginning of your next end step.

Farewell

Choose one or more —
• Exile all artifacts.
• Exile all creatures.
• Exile all enchantments.
• Exile all graveyards.

Line Cutter

When Line Cutter enters, roll to visit your Attractions.

Snickering Squirrel

You may tap Snickering Squirrel to increase the result of a die any player rolled by 1.

GO TO JAIL

When GO TO JAIL enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until GO TO JAIL leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice GO TO JAIL.

Craterhoof Behemoth

Haste
When Craterhoof Behemoth enters, creatures you control gain trample and get +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the number of creatures you control.

Goblin Blastronauts

When Goblin Blastronauts enters, open an Attraction.
Whenever you roll a 6, you may copy the spell, ability, or Attraction visit that caused you to roll that die. You may choose new targets for the copy.

Ponder

Look at the top three cards of your library, then put them back in any order. You may shuffle.
Draw a card.

Booster Tutor

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of them into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Pristine Talisman

Swiftfoot Boots

Equipped creature has hexproof and haste. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control. It can attack and {T} no matter when it came under your control.)
Equip {1} ({1}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Deep Analysis

Target player draws two cards.
Flashback—{1}{U}, Pay 3 life. (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Garruk's Uprising

When this enchantment enters, if you control a creature with power 4 or greater, draw a card.
Creatures you control have trample. (Each of those creatures can deal excess combat damage to the player or planeswalker it's attacking.)
Whenever a creature you control with power 4 or greater enters, draw a card.

Night Shift of the Living Dead

After you roll a die, you may pay 1 life. If you do, increase or decrease the result by 1. Do this only once each turn.
Whenever you roll a 6, create a 2/2 black Zombie Employee creature token.

B.O.B. (Bevy of Beebles)

As B.O.B. enters, create four 1/1 blue Beeble creature tokens.
The number of loyalty counters on B.O.B. is equal to the number of Beebles you control. (Create or sacrifice Beebles whenever B.O.B. gains or loses loyalty.)
+1: Up to X target Beebles can't be blocked this turn, where X is the number of cards in your hand.
−1: Draw a card.

Draconian Gate-Bot

When Draconian Gate-Bot enters, choose one —
• Open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
• Destroy target Attraction. (It's put into its owner's junkyard.)

Sword of Sinew and Steel

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from black and from red.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, destroy up to one target planeswalker and up to one target artifact.
Equip {2}

Plot Armor

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and can't be blocked except by creatures with flavor text.

Complaints Clerk

When Complaints Clerk enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
Whenever you roll a 1, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Busted!

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {X}, where X is the number of words in the name with the most words among permanents you control.

Jetpack Janitor

Alpha strike (This creature has first strike as long as it's blocking or being blocked by a creature that comes after it alphabetically.)

Seasoned Buttoneer

When Seasoned Buttoneer enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Glittering Stockpile

{T}: Add {R}. Put a stash counter on Glittering Stockpile.
{T}, Sacrifice Glittering Stockpile: Add X mana of any one color, where X is the number of stash counters on Glittering Stockpile.

Beastmaster Ascension

Whenever a creature you control attacks, you may put a quest counter on Beastmaster Ascension.
As long as Beastmaster Ascension has seven or more quest counters on it, creatures you control get +5/+5.

Rooftop Nuisance

Casualty 1 (As you cast this spell, you may sacrifice a creature with power 1 or greater. When you do, copy this spell and you may choose a new target for the copy.)
Tap target creature. It doesn't untap during its controller's next untap step.
Draw a card.

Maestros Charm

Choose one —
• Look at the top five cards of your library. Put one of those cards into your hand and the rest into your graveyard.
• Each opponent loses 3 life and you gain 3 life.
• Maestros Charm deals 5 damage to target creature or planeswalker.

Anger

Haste
As long as Anger is in your graveyard and you control a Mountain, creatures you control have haste.

Ashnod's Altar

Nature's Lore

Search your library for a Forest card, put that card onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Purphoros, God of the Forge

Indestructible
As long as your devotion to red is less than five, Purphoros isn't a creature.
Whenever another creature you control enters, Purphoros deals 2 damage to each opponent.
{2}{R}: Creatures you control get +1/+0 until end of turn.

Mystic Remora

Cumulative upkeep {1} (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on this permanent, then sacrifice it unless you pay its upkeep cost for each age counter on it.)
Whenever an opponent casts a noncreature spell, you may draw a card unless that player pays {4}.

Kozilek, Butcher of Truth

When you cast this spell, draw four cards.
Annihilator 4 (Whenever this creature attacks, defending player sacrifices four permanents of their choice.)
When Kozilek, Butcher of Truth is put into a graveyard from anywhere, its owner shuffles their graveyard into their library.

Grand Abolisher

During your turn, your opponents can't cast spells or activate abilities of artifacts, creatures, or enchantments.

Witness Protection

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a green and white Citizen creature with base power and toughness 1/1 named Legitimate Businessperson. (It loses all other colors, card types, creature types, and names.)

Prosperity

Frantic Search

Draw two cards, then discard two cards. Untap up to three lands.

Sword of Body and Mind

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from green and from blue.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, you create a 2/2 green Wolf creature token and that player mills ten cards.
Equip {2}

Krenko, Mob Boss

{T}: Create X 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens, where X is the number of Goblins you control.

Squirrel Squatters

When Squirrel Squatters enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
Whenever Squirrel Squatters attacks, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token that's tapped and attacking for each Attraction you've visited this turn.

Who // What // When // Where // Why

Icing Manipulator

Each +1/+1 counter on a creature you control is also a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")
{3}{G}, {T}: Roll two six-sided dice. For each odd result, put a +1/+1 counter on a creature of your choice. Activate only as a sorcery.

Majestic Metamorphosis

Until end of turn, target artifact or creature becomes a 4/4 Angel artifact creature and gains flying.
Draw a card.

Prizefight

Target creature you control fights target creature you don't control. (Each deals damage equal to its power to the other.)
Create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Anointed Procession

If an effect would create one or more tokens under your control, it creates twice that many of those tokens instead.

Bloodthirster

Flying, trample
Whenever Bloodthirster deals combat damage to a player, untap it. After this phase, there is an additional combat phase.
Bloodthirster can't attack a player it has already attacked this turn.

Sylvan Library

At the beginning of your draw step, you may draw two additional cards. If you do, choose two cards in your hand drawn this turn. For each of those cards, pay 4 life or put the card on top of your library.

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Demon's Due

Scry 2, then draw two cards. You lose 2 life.

Assembled Ensemble

Vigilance
Assembled Ensemble's power is equal to the number of Robots you control.
Whenever you cast a spell with an artifact creature in its art, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Deadbeat Attendant

When Deadbeat Attendant enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Growth Spurt

Roll a six-sided die. Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.

Slip Out the Back

Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature. It phases out. (Treat it and anything attached to it as though they don't exist until its controller's next turn.)

Venom Connoisseur

Whenever another creature you control enters, this creature gains deathtouch until end of turn. If this is the second time this ability has resolved this turn, all creatures you control gain deathtouch until end of turn.

Coming Attraction

Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. Open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Curiosity

Enchant creature
Whenever enchanted creature deals damage to an opponent, you may draw a card.

Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

T.A.P.P.E.R.

{T}, Tap an untapped creature you control that has a hat: Tap target creature.

Frankie Peanuts

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may ask target player a yes-or-no question. If you do, that player answers the question truthfully and abides by that answer if able until end of turn.

Stet, Draconic Proofreader

Flying
Whenever Stet, Draconic Proofreader attacks, you may exile a card from your graveyard. When you do, Stet, Draconic Proofreader deals 4 damage to any target whose name begins with the same letter as the exiled card.
{W}: Delete the first letter of target permanent or player's name until end of turn.

Horn of Greed

Whenever a player plays a land, that player draws a card.

Syr Cadian, Knight Owl

Knightlifelink (Damage dealt by Knights you control also causes you to gain that much life.)
{W}: Syr Cadian, Knight Owl gains vigilance until end of turn. Activate only from sunrise to sunset.
{B}: Syr Cadian, Knight Owl gains flying until end of turn. Activate only from sunset to sunrise.

Ride Guide

When Ride Guide enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Mondrak, Glory Dominus

If one or more tokens would be created under your control, twice that many of those tokens are created instead.
{1}{W/P}{W/P}, Sacrifice two other artifacts and/or creatures: Put an indestructible counter on Mondrak, Glory Dominus. ({W/P} can be paid with either {W} or 2 life.)