Captain Lannery Storm

Haste
Whenever Captain Lannery Storm attacks, create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")
Whenever you sacrifice a Treasure, Captain Lannery Storm gets +1/+0 until end of turn.

Exsanguinate

Each opponent loses X life. You gain life equal to the life lost this way.

Earth-Cult Elemental

Siege Monster — When Earth-Cult Elemental enters, roll a d20.
1—9 | Each player sacrifices a permanent of their choice.
10—19 | Each opponent sacrifices a permanent of their choice.
20 | Each opponent sacrifices two permanents of their choice.

Attempted Murder

Choose target creature. Roll X six-sided dice. For each even result, put two -1/-1 counters on that creature. For each odd result, create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.

Priority Boarding

Whenever you roll a die, you may reveal the top card of your library. Do this only once each turn. Whenever you reveal a card with mana value less than the result this way, you may exile it. If you do, you may play it this turn.

Crime Novelist

Whenever you sacrifice an artifact, put a +1/+1 counter on Crime Novelist and add {R}.

Six-Sided Die

Choose target creature. Roll a six-sided die.
1 — It has base toughness 1 until end of turn.
2 — Put two -1/-1 counters on it.
3 — Six-Sided Die deals 3 damage to it and you gain 3 life.
4 — It gets -4/-4 until end of turn.
5 — Destroy it.
6 — Exile it.

Swarming Goblins

When Swarming Goblins enters, roll a d20.
1—9 | Create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.
10—19 | Create two of those tokens.
20 | Create three of those tokens.

Monologue Tax

Whenever an opponent casts their second spell each turn, you create a Treasure token.