Giant Fan

{2}, {T}: Move a counter from one permanent onto another. If the second permanent refers to any kind of counter, the moved counter becomes one of those counters. Otherwise, it becomes a +1/+1 counter.

Frazzled Editor

Protection from wordy (Something is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)

Form of the Approach of the Second Sun

When this enchantment enters, you gain 7 life. You become a card until you leave your library or that library is shuffled. Put yourself seventh from the top, balancing the cards on top of you on your head.
When you draw yourself, you win the game.
When one or more cards fall off your head, exile them and all cards on your head, then sacrifice this enchantment.

Split Screen

When this artifact enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When this artifact leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Surgeon General Commander

Whenever you augment, enchant, or mutate a creature you control, draw a card.
{T}: Add {W}, {U}, {B}, {R}, or {G}.

Hangman

As this creature enters, secretly note a word with six to eight letters.
{1}: Target player who doesn't control this creature guesses the noted word or an unguessed letter in that word. If they guess wrong, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature. Any player may activate this ability.
When a player guesses the noted word or all of its letters, sacrifice this creature.

Deal Damage

Deal Damage deals 4 damage to any target.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "deal" or "damage," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand.

Baron Von Count

Baron Von Count enters with a doom counter on "5."
Whenever you cast a spell with the indicated numeral in its mana cost, text box, power, or toughness, move the doom counter one numeral to the left.
When the doom counter moves from "1," destroy target player and put that doom counter on "5."

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Garbage Elemental

Cascade (When you cast this spell, exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card that costs less. You may cast it without paying its mana cost. Put the exiled cards on the bottom in a random order.)
When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature deals damage equal to the result to target opponent or planeswalker.

Ol' Buzzbark

When Ol' Buzzbark enters, roll X six-sided dice onto the battlefield from a height of at least X inches. For each die, put a number of +1/+1 counters equal to the result on each creature you control that die is touching. For each die, Ol' Buzzbark deals damage equal to the result to each creature an opponent controls that die is touching.

Everythingamajig

{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate only as an instant.
{3}, {T}: Target player discards a card. Activate only during your turn.
{X}: This artifact becomes an X/X Construct artifact creature until end of turn.

Greater Morphling

{2}: This creature gains your choice of banding, bushido 1, double strike, fear, flying, first strike, haste, landwalk of your choice, protection from a color of your choice, provoke, rampage 1, shadow, or trample until end of turn.
{2}: This creature becomes the colors of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: This creature becomes the creature type of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: This creature's expansion symbol becomes the symbol of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: This creature's art becomes by the artist of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: This creature gets +2/-2 or -2/+2 until end of turn.
{2}: Untap this creature.

Ashnod's Coupon

{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Target player gets you target drink. You pay any costs for the drink.

Secret Base

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell that shares a watermark with this land.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if this card is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return this artifact to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see this artifact.
{2}, Sacrifice this artifact: Destroy target attacking creature.

Animate Library

Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile this Aura instead.

Knight of the Kitchen Sink

First strike, protection from black borders (Nothing with a black border can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Ineffable Blessing

As this enchantment enters, choose white-bordered or silver-bordered.
Whenever a creature you control with the chosen border enters, draw a card.

{2}, {T}: Draw a card. Activate only if you have no cards in hand.
{8}, {T}: You gain 10 life.
{4}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You may put a silver-bordered or acorn permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Pointy Finger of Doom

{3}, {T}: Spin this artifact in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to.

Handcuffs

As this enchantment enters, choose a player.
When the chosen player's hands aren't touching each other, sacrifice this enchantment and that player sacrifices three permanents.

Hot Fix

You have ten seconds to look at and rearrange the cards in your library. At the end of those ten seconds, if you're touching one or more of those cards, shuffle.

Common Courtesy

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice this enchantment.

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice this artifact.

Richard Garfield, Ph.D.

You may play cards as though they were other cards of your choice with the same mana cost. You can't choose the same card twice. (Mana cost includes color.)

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Selfie Preservation

Search your library for a basic land card and reveal it. If there's a tree in its art, put it onto the battlefield tapped. Otherwise, put it into your hand. Then shuffle.

Elvish House Party

Elvish House Party's power and toughness are each equal to the current hour, using the twelve-hour system.

{T}: Add one mana of any color.
{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and your opponent guessed wrong, draw a card.
{8}, {T}: This artifact deals 12 damage to target creature.

Eye to Eye

You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature.

Meddling Kids

As this creature enters, choose a word with four or more letters.
Spells with the chosen word in their text box can't be cast.

Flavor Judge

{T}: Choose target spell or ability that targets a permanent you control. Then ask a person outside the game if the story of what will happen makes sense. If they say no, sacrifice this creature and counter that spell or ability.

Kindslaver

{5}, {T}, Sacrifice Kindslaver: A person outside the game controls target player during that player's next turn. Neither player may advise that person until the end of that turn.

Sacrifice Play

A person outside the game chooses an attacking or blocking creature target opponent controls. That player sacrifices that creature.

Slaying Mantis

Just a second (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can't move permanents.)
This creature enters by being thrown from a distance of at least three feet.
When this creature enters, it fights each creature an opponent controls that it touched as it entered.

The Grand Calcutron

When The Grand Calcutron enters, each player's hand becomes a program (an ordered row of revealed cards).
Players can play only the first card of their program.
If a card would be put into a player's hand from anywhere, that player reveals it and places it anywhere within their program instead.
At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player's program has fewer than five cards, they draw cards equal to the difference.
The Grand Calcutron can be your commander.

Alexander Clamilton

Whenever you cast a wordy spell, scry 2. (A spell is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)
{1}{R}, {T}: Choose target creature you don't control. Reveal the top card of your library. Alexander Clamilton gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of lines of rules text of the revealed card. Alexander Clamilton fights that creature.

Mirror Mirror

This artifact enters tapped.
{7}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Choose target player. At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with that player, exchange control of all permanents you and that player control, and exchange cards in your hands, cards in your libraries, and cards in your graveyards.

Phoebe, Head of S.N.E.A.K.

Phoebe can't be blocked by creatures with flavor text.
{2}{U}{B}: Phoebe permanently steals target creature's text box. (That creature loses all rules text, flavor text, and watermarks. This creature gains them.)

Red-Hot Hottie

Whenever this creature deals damage to a creature, put a third-degree-burn counter on that creature. It gains "At the beginning of each end step, sacrifice this creature unless you scream 'Aaah!' at the top of your lungs."

Clocknapper

When this creature enters, choose beginning phase, first main phase, combat phase, postcombat main phase, or ending phase. Steal that phase from target player during their next turn. (That phase occurs as though it's your turn instead.)

B-I-N-G-O

Trample
Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.
This creature gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

Sly Spy

Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player reveals the top card of their library. Put that card into your hand and you lose life equal to its mana value.

Now I Know My ABC's

At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control permanents with names that include all twenty-six letters of the English alphabet, you win the game.

Pygmy Giant

{R}, {T}, Sacrifice a creature: This creature deals X damage to target creature, where X is a number in the sacrificed creature's text box.

Booster Tutor

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of them into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Frankie Peanuts

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may ask target player a yes-or-no question. If you do, that player answers the question truthfully and abides by that answer if able until end of turn.

Disemvowel

Destroy target creature. That creature's controller loses 1 life for each unique vowel in the creature's name. (The vowels are A, E, I, O, U, and Y.)

Spell Counter

Counter target spell.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "spell" or "counter," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Spell Counter from your graveyard to your hand.

Farewell to Arms

As this enchantment enters, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm.
When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice this enchantment. If you do, that player discards their hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.)

Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player reveals their hand. You choose a card from it with the longest name. That player discards that card.

Five-Finger Discount

Put target nonland permanent into your hand. You may spend mana as though it were mana of any color the next time you cast that card.

Look at Me, I'm R&D

As this enchantment enters, choose a number and a second number one higher or one lower than the first number.
All instances of the first chosen number in the full text of each permanent, spell, and card in any zone are changed to the second chosen number.

Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player loses a finger until this creature leaves the battlefield. (The finger is chosen by its owner and can't roll dice or touch cards.)

Land Aid '04

Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. If you sang a song the whole time you were searching and shuffling, you may untap that land.

Kill! Destroy!

Destroy target nonblack creature.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand.

Urza, Academy Headmaster

+1: Head to AskUrza.com and click +1.
−1: Head to AskUrza.com and click -1.
−6: Head to AskUrza.com and click -6.

Look at Me, I'm the DCI

Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)

Organ Harvest

Your team may sacrifice any number of creatures. For each creature sacrificed this way, you add {B}{B}.

Goblin Tutor

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
2 — A card named Goblin Tutor
3 — An enchantment
4 — An artifact
5 — A creature
6 — An instant or sorcery

As long as X is in X's owner's opponent's hand, X's owner may cast X and activate X's abilities. That opponent can't cast X and plays with their hand revealed.
{U}{B}, {T}: Put X into target opponent's hand.
{3}{U}{B}: You may play a land or cast a spell from the hand X is in. If you cast a spell this way, you cast it without paying its mana cost.

Rings a Bell

As this enchantment enters, choose a word with four or more letters.
After you say the chosen word for the first time each turn, an opponent may ring or imitate a bell within five seconds. When no opponent does, draw a card.

Hoisted Hireling

This creature has flying as long as it's being held above the battlefield.

Blast from the Past

Madness {R}, cycling {1}{R}, kicker {2}{R}, flashback {3}{R}, buyback {4}{R}
Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was kicked, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.

City of Ass

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

Masterful Ninja

Haste
Reveal this card from your hand: Masterful Ninja is on the battlefield and in your hand until end of turn.
{1}{B}: This creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.

Avatar of Me

This spell costs {1} more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.
Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.
Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

Elvish Impersonators

As this creature enters, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.

Handy Dandy Clone Machine

{2}, {T}: Create a 2/2 colorless Homunculus creature token. It must be represented by a unique hand and two fingers at all times, or it ceases to exist.

Have

Getting

Don't Have

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