Sole Performer

{T}: Add {T}{T}. Activate only once each turn. (While activating an ability, use {T} rather than tapping the permanent to pay for {T}.)

Plate Spinning

Whenever you cast a spell, copy it and you may choose new targets for the copy. Then balance a card from outside the game on one of your fingertips. When that card falls or touches another card, sacrifice Plate Spinning.

Earl of Squirrel

Squirrellink (Damage dealt by this creature also causes you to create that many 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens.)
Creature tokens you control are Squirrels in addition to their other creature types.
Other Squirrels you control get +1/+1.

Garbage Elemental

Frenzy 2 (Whenever this creature attacks and isn't blocked, it gets +2/+0 until end of turn.)
Garbage Elemental can't be blocked by wordy creatures. (A creature is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)

Sly Spy

Whenever Sly Spy deals combat damage to a player, roll a six-sided die. That player loses life equal to the result.

Bamboozling Beeble

Protection from Robots
{1}, {T}: The next time target player would roll one or more dice this turn, instead they roll that many dice plus one and you choose one of those rolls to ignore.

Box of Free-Range Goblins

Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the result.

Fowl Play

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a Bird creature with base power and toughness 1/1.

Kill! Maim! Burn!

Choose one or more —
• Destroy target artifact.
• Destroy target creature.
• Kill! Maim! Burn! deals 3 damage to target player.

Rat in the Hat

{T}, Sacrifice Rat in the Hat: Until end of turn, you may cast target creature card that has a hat from your graveyard.

Grip of Chaos

Whenever a spell or ability is put onto the stack, if it has a single target, reselect its target at random. (Select from among all legal targets.)

Elvish Impersonators

As Elvish Impersonators enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.

Side to Side

You and target opponent arm-wrestle. If you win, create a 3/3 green Ape creature token.

Double Play

Choose another player. Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Sword of Dungeons & Dragons

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.
Equip {2}

Mox Lotus

{T}: Add {∞}.
{100}: Add one mana of any color.

Yet Another Aether Vortex

All creatures have haste.
Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.

Goblin Tutor

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
2 — A card named Goblin Tutor
3 — An enchantment
4 — An artifact
5 — A creature
6 — An instant or sorcery

Very Cryptic Command

Choose two —
• Draw a card from an opponent's library.
• Copy target instant or sorcery spell. You may choose new targets for the copy.
• Until end of turn, target creature loses all abilities and becomes a blue Frog with base power and toughness 1/1.
• Create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.

Booster Tutor

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of them into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Choose two —
• Counter target black-bordered spell.
• Return target creature to its owner's hand.
• Untap each permanent you control with a watermark.
• Roll two six-sided dice. Target player mills X cards, where X is the total of those results.

Hydradoodle

As Hydradoodle enters the battlefield, roll X six-sided dice. Hydradoodle enters the battlefield with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the total of those results.
Reach, trample

Xenosquirrels

Xenosquirrels enters the battlefield with two +1/+1 counters on it.
After you roll a die, you may remove a +1/+1 counter from Xenosquirrels. If you do, increase or decrease the result by 1.

Pointy Finger of Doom

{3}, {T}: Spin Pointy Finger of Doom in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to.

"Ach! Hans, Run!"

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may say "Ach! Hans, run! It's the . . ." and the name of a creature card. If you do, search your library for a card with that name, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. That creature gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step.

Hazmat Suit (Used)

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+1 and has menace.
Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches enchanted creature, that player loses 2 life.

Ineffable Blessing

As Ineffable Blessing enters the battlefield, choose a rarity.
Whenever a creature with the chosen rarity enters the battlefield under your control, draw a card.

Form of the Approach of the Second Sun

When this enchantment enters the battlefield, you gain 7 life. You become a card until you leave your library or that library is shuffled. Put yourself seventh from the top, balancing the cards on top of you on your head.
When you draw yourself, you win the game.
When one or more cards fall off your head, exile them and all cards on your head, then sacrifice this enchantment.

Ignacio of Myra's Marvels

As Ignacio of Myra's Marvels enters the battlefield, choose armor, blood, book, bottle, fang, fire, scroll, spear, sword, or water.
Whenever you cast a spell with the chosen object in its art, create two Treasure tokens.
Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

The Big Top

{T}: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)

Stop That

Target player discards a card.
Gotcha — If an opponent audibly flicks the cards in their hand, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Stop That from your graveyard to your hand.

Inhumaniac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or 4, put a +1/+1 counter on Inhumaniac. On a 5 or higher, put two +1/+1 counters on it. On a 1, remove all +1/+1 counters from Inhumaniac.

Deal Damage

Deal Damage deals 4 damage to any target.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "deal" or "damage," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand.

"Brims" Barone, Midway Mobster

When "Brims" Barone, Midway Mobster enters the battlefield, put a +1/+1 counter on each other creature you control that has a hat.
"Brims" Barone, Midway Mobster has menace as long as you're wearing a hat.

Richard Garfield, Ph.D.

You may play cards as though they were other cards of your choice with the same mana cost. You can't choose the same card twice. (Mana cost includes color.)

Pygmy Giant

{R}, {T}, Sacrifice a creature: Pygmy Giant deals X damage to target creature, where X is a number in the sacrificed creature's text box.

Look at Me, I'm R&D

As Look at Me, I'm R&D comes into play, choose a number and a second number one higher or one lower than that number.
All instances of the first chosen number on permanents, spells, and cards in any zone are the second chosen number.

As Ineffable Blessing enters the battlefield, choose an artist.
Whenever a creature with art by the chosen artist enters the battlefield under your control, draw a card.

Time Out

Roll a six-sided die. Put target nonland permanent into its owner's library just beneath the top X cards of that library, where X is the result.

Zndrsplt's Judgment

For each player, choose friend or foe. Each friend creates a token that's a copy of a creature they control. Each foe returns a creature they control to its owner's hand.

Ass Whuppin'

Destroy target silver-bordered or acorn permanent in any game you can see from your seat.

Spike, Tournament Grinder

({B/P} can be paid with either {B} or 2 life.)
{B/P}{B/P}{B/P}{B/P}: Reveal a card you own from outside the game that has been banned or restricted in a Constructed format and put it into your hand.

Octo Opus

When Octo Opus enters the battlefield, create a 4/4 blue Octopus Performer creature token named Contortionist with "At the beginning of your upkeep, you may fold this token in half." (It becomes 2/2, then 1/1, ½/½, and so on.)
Sacrifice Octo Opus: Draw a card and an additional card for each of Contortionist's folds.

One with Death

Leading Performance

Choose two letters. Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control whose name begins with the either of the chosen letters.

Whenever Sly Spy deals combat damage to a player, that player reveals the top card of their library. Put that card into your hand and you lose life equal to its mana value.

Form of the Squirrel

As Form of the Squirrel enters the battlefield, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token. You lose the game when that creature leaves the battlefield.
Creatures can't attack you.
You have shroud.
You can't cast spells.

B-I-N-G-O

Trample
Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.
B-I-N-G-O gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

Rare-B-Gone

Each player sacrifices all permanents that are rare or mythic rare, then each player reveals their hand and discards all cards that are rare or mythic rare.

Farewell to Arms

As Farewell to Arms enters the battlefield, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm.
When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice Farewell to Arms. If you do, that player discards their hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.)

Whenever Sly Spy deals combat damage to a player, that player reveals their hand. You choose a card from it with the longest name. That player discards that card.

Greatest Show in the Multiverse

(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter. Sacrifice after III.)
As an additional cost to cast this spell, exile five instant and/or sorcery cards you own with the same artist and different names from outside the game.
I, II, III — Choose one of the exiled cards at random. You may cast it without paying its mana cost.

Timmy, Power Gamer

{4}: You may put a creature card from your hand onto the battlefield.

As long as X is in X's owner's opponent's hand, X's owner may cast X and activate X's abilities. That opponent can't cast X and plays with their hand revealed.
{U}{B}, {T}: Put X into target opponent's hand.
{3}{U}{B}: You may play a land or cast a spell from the hand X is in. If you cast a spell this way, you cast it without paying its mana cost.

Standing Army

As long as you're standing, Standing Army has vigilance.

Stolen Strategy

At the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top card of each opponent's library. Until end of turn, you may cast spells from among those exiled cards, and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast those spells.

Choose two —
• Scry 3.
• Create a 2/2 black Rogue creature token with menace.
• Add or subtract 1 or one from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn.
• Return all artifacts target player controls to their owner's hand.

Goblin Game

Each player hides at least one item, then all players reveal them simultaneously. Each player loses life equal to the number of items they revealed. The player who revealed the fewest items then loses half their life, rounded up. If two or more players are tied for fewest, each loses half their life, rounded up.

Night Shift of the Living Dead

After you roll a die, you may pay 1 life. If you do, increase or decrease the result by 1. Do this only once each turn.
Whenever you roll a 6, create a 2/2 black Zombie Employee creature token.

Blurry Beeble

Blurry (This creature can be blocked only if defending player was wearing glasses as it was cast.)
Whenever Blurry Beeble deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card.

Illicit Masquerade

Flash
When Illicit Masquerade enters the battlefield, put an impostor counter on each creature you control.
Whenever a creature you control with an impostor counter on it dies, exile it. Return up to one other target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Enter the Dungeon

Players play a Magic subgame under the table, starting at 5 life and using their libraries as their decks. The winner searches their library for two cards, puts those cards into their hand, then shuffles.

Chaos Warp

The owner of target permanent shuffles it into their library, then reveals the top card of their library. If it's a permanent card, they put it onto the battlefield.

Questionable Cuisine

Return up to two target creature cards from your graveyard to your hand. Create a Food token for each trash can you can see from your seat. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")

Blacker Lotus

{T}: Tear Blacker Lotus into pieces. Add four mana of any one color. Remove the pieces from the game.

GO TO JAIL

When GO TO JAIL enters the battlefield, exile target creature an opponent controls until GO TO JAIL leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice GO TO JAIL.

Stet, Draconic Proofreader

Flying
Whenever Stet, Draconic Proofreader attacks, you may exile a card from your graveyard. When you do, Stet, Draconic Proofreader deals 4 damage to any target whose name begins with the same letter as the exiled card.
{W}: Delete the first letter of target permanent or player's name until end of turn.

Trigger Happy

Choose a triggered ability of target permanent. It triggers. You control that ability.

Cramped Bunker

At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, that player moves a permanent they control to touch Cramped Bunker and no other permanents. If the player can't, destroy each permanent they control that isn't touching Cramped Bunker, then sacrifice it.

Krark's Other Thumb

If you would roll a die, instead roll two of those dice and ignore one of those results.

Get Your Head in the Game

Flash
When Get Your Head in the Game enters the battlefield, exile target nonland permanent until it (this card) leaves the battlefield, then touch it (this card) with your head. When it (this card) stops touching it (your head), sacrifice it (the card, not your head).

Hammer Helper

Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature and roll a six-sided die. Until end of turn, it gains haste and gets +X/+0, where X is the result.

Nearby Planet

Rangeling (This card is every land type, including Plains, Island, Swamp, Mountain, Forest, Desert, Gate, Lair, Locus, and all those Urza's ones.)
Nearby Planet enters the battlefield tapped.
When Nearby Planet enters the battlefield, sacrifice it unless you pay {1}.

An Incident Has Occurred

Choose one or both —
• Destroy target creature with flying.
• Destroy target Attraction. (It's put into its owner's junkyard.)
You may apologize. If you do, you gain 3 life.

Truss, Chief Engineer

Whenever Truss, Chief Engineer enters the battlefield or another creature dies, put a hack counter on Truss.
{2}, {T}, Remove X hack counters from Truss: Add or subtract X from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn. This effect can't reduce a number below 1 or a number word below one.

Steel Squirrel

Whenever you roll a 5 or higher on a die, Steel Squirrel gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Wordmail

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name.

Choose two —
• Return target permanent to its controller's hand.
• Draw two cards, then discard a card.
• Change the target of target spell with a single target.
• Turn over target nontoken creature.

Free-for-All

When Free-for-All enters the battlefield, exile all creatures face down.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player chooses a card exiled with Free-for-All at random and puts it onto the battlefield.
When Free-for-All leaves the battlefield, put all cards exiled with it into their owners' graveyards.

As Ineffable Blessing enters the battlefield, choose white-bordered or silver-bordered.
Whenever a creature with the chosen border enters the battlefield under your control, draw a card.

Prisoner's Dilemma

Each opponent secretly chooses silence or snitch, then the choices are revealed. If each opponent chose silence, Prisoner's Dilemma deals 4 damage to each of them. If each opponent chose snitch, Prisoner's Dilemma deals 8 damage to each of them. Otherwise, Prisoner's Dilemma deals 12 damage to each opponent who chose silence.
Flashback {5}{R}{R}

Killer Cosplay

Whenever Killer Cosplay becomes attached to a creature, choose a creature card name with an identical mana cost. That creature becomes a copy of the card with the chosen name until Killer Cosplay becomes unattached from it.
Equip {3}

Chaos Wand

{4}, {T}: Target opponent exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile an instant or sorcery card. You may cast that card without paying its mana cost. Then put the exiled cards that weren't cast this way on the bottom of that library in a random order.

Game of Chaos

Flip a coin. If you win the flip, you gain 1 life and target opponent loses 1 life, and you decide whether to flip again. If you lose the flip, you lose 1 life and that opponent gains 1 life, and that player decides whether to flip again. Double the life stakes with each flip.

Priority Boarding

Whenever you roll a die, you may reveal the top card of your library. Do this only once each turn. Whenever you reveal a card with mana value less than the result this way, you may exile it. If you do, you may play it this turn.

Phoebe, Head of S.N.E.A.K.

Phoebe, Head of S.N.E.A.K. can't be blocked by creatures with flavor text.
{2}{U}{B}: Phoebe permanently steals target creature's text box. (That creature loses all rules text, flavor text, and watermarks. This creature gains them.)

Knight of the Kitchen Sink

First strike, protection from odd collector numbers (Nothing with an odd collector number can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Three-Headed Goblin

Triple strike (This creature deals first-strike, regular, and last-strike combat damage.)

Embiggen

Until end of turn, target non-Brushwagg creature gets +1/+1 for each supertype, card type, and subtype it has.

Slight Malfunction

Choose one —
• Destroy target artifact.
• Roll a six-sided die. When you do, Slight Malfunction deals 1 damage to each of up to X target creatures, where X is the result.

Collector Protector

{W}, Give an opponent a nonland card you own from outside the game: Prevent the next 1 damage that would be dealt to you or Collector Protector this turn.

Amped Up

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each electrical socket in a wall or floor you can see from your seat.
Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature. Until end of turn, it gets +3/+0 and gains haste.

The Fallen Apart

The Fallen Apart enters the battlefield with two arms and two legs.
Whenever damage is dealt to The Fallen Apart, remove an arm or a leg from it.
The Fallen Apart can't attack if it has no legs and can't block if it has no arms.

Attempted Murder

Choose target creature. Roll X six-sided dice. For each even result, put two -1/-1 counters on that creature. For each odd result, create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.

Chaos Wrap

The owner of target permanent shuffles it into their library. Then they may look at the top card of their library and may wrap it. If it's a permanent card, they may put it onto the battlefield. Otherwise, they may put it onto the battlefield face down as a 4/4 red Present creature. (To wrap a card, put it inside lots of sleeves. If it would be dealt damage or destroyed, remove a sleeve from it instead.)

Abstract Iguanart

Whenever you cast a spell, note the first letter of its artist's name. If that letter wasn't already noted, put a +1/+1 counter on Abstract Iguanart.

Super-Duper Lost

Put target creature into its owner's library just beneath the top X cards of that library, where X is the number of doors you can see from your seat.

First strike, protection from even collector numbers (Nothing with an even collector number can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

One with Nothing

Illicit Auction

Each player may bid life for control of target creature. You start the bidding with a bid of 0. In turn order, each player may top the high bid. The bidding ends if the high bid stands. The high bidder loses life equal to the high bid and gains control of the creature. (This effect lasts indefinitely.)

Gray Merchant of Alphabet

When Gray Merchant of Alphabet enters the battlefield, choose a letter. For each creature you control that has the chosen letter in its name, you gain 1 life and each opponent loses 1 life.

Space Beleren

Space sculptor (Space Beleren divides the battlefield into alpha, beta, and gamma sectors. If a creature isn't assigned to a sector, its controller assigns it to one. Opponents assign first.)
+1: Creatures in each sector can be blocked this turn only by creatures in the same sector.
−1: Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature in the sector of your choice.
−5: Destroy all creatures in the sector of your choice.

Chaos Lord

First strike
At the beginning of your upkeep, target opponent gains control of Chaos Lord if the number of permanents is even.
Chaos Lord can attack as though it had haste unless it entered the battlefield this turn.

Double Deal

Choose another player. Double Deal deals 3 damage to that player. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, Double Deal deals 3 damage to the player.

Boing!

Return target creature to its owner's hand, then roll a six-sided die. If the result is 3 or less, scry a number of cards equal to the result.

Curse of the Fire Penguin Creature

Trample
When this creature dies, return Curse of the Fire Penguin to the battlefield.